She left...

She left…Just when I thought I had her in my grasp. Just when I thought my longing to hold her tight would finally come to an end. Was it me? I asked myself as I saw the heels of her feet and heard the door close slowly but surely. Probably a slam would have helped to awaken my senses to the reality that she left me at the precise moment when I knew that I had her for keeps. The moment I was putting finally touches to my plans. Plans of how I was going to pamper her, stroke her daily, make her know that waiting for her was not in vain because I know she was worth it. But just when I was getting the bath ready, warm with sweet smelling bubble bath, so I could soak her in it, she left me. Just after I had worn out the ears of my friends with tales of how I was going to make the best of our moments together. Savoring each minute spent in the pursuit of happiness. She left me. Even after the plangent fireworks announced her coming, sending such excitement down my body about the things we were going to accomplish together, three mornings later, she left me. And now as I stare in the air, I wonder if she is ever coming back. I wonder if I should wait on her again. I wonder why you left me. Hope, did you have to go but on the third day of the New Year?

Duksey is back

The year is 2012 and it is the year Duksey returned to blogsville.

Hope you are coming

Hi people,this you have to see coz, thats supposed to be my leg. yap. Anyhow, I am in this play and I have been paid to make love on air with my hubby.I get to say all the seductive things and moan too... ok not really but on radio...

showing starting thursday at open house restaurant on Buganda Road

thurs-15k plus a snacl

Fri-Sato-35k plus indian dinner

Life must go on

A smile that was engraved with a million words

The laughter that filled the soul

The passion that boiled the blood

The warmth that kept the spirit alive

And time that passed so fast

The hope that evaporated like the morning dew

The pain that pierced the heart

The sorrow that killed the spirit

The anger that drained the passion

The chapter that ended prematurely

The book that was never written

The life that was shaken but refused to shrivel

The new chapter that holds promise

The promise that life must go on

The life that looks beyond a sorrowful heart

The life that has more meaning and fulfilment

I dare say

I dare say that all men are the same. It just takes different time for their similarities to surface.
Take it or leave it, but its true.We all love to believe that they are different and think that statement a cliché but alas, nothing can be truer than that statement.

Guess what, I am not that cool! So?

After reading a couple of blogs talking about the hottest music and all-
i-tunes, you name it, it suddenly occurred to me that these things are obviously considered pretty cool. So I ended up asking myself if I am not cool then, because I am not one to die to fill my Ipod with the latest “hot” music (Oops I don’t even own one!). I will gladly settle for Lionel Richie, Freddie Jackson and all those donkey ears tunes.

When a friend gave me an Ipod shuttle, I thought it was pretty cool, but it took me forever to get some music on it and then someone stole it. But I didn’t fright, I felt life could go on, since finding time to plug it into my ears was quite an issue anyway(Yeah! I am for real). I listen to what is on radio/TV ETC, but would survive with out music despite my love for dancing.

So like I said, does this make me pretty uncool and the rest of them guys cool? After asking myself this, I came up with the realisation that the temptation to fit in the crowd and be “cool” often hits one. Just the other day after reading about one of them cool things on one of the blogs. I wondered whether I should run to google and get myself acquainted with some of the “cool” stuff people seem to be impressed by. I wondered what I could contribute to a conversation on some of the stuff.

Then I also recalled a certain BHH where almost everyone was talking about the best sellers they had read. While I am one for reading books, I hadn’t read most of them and going by the conversation, it seemed like I was damned to hell somehow. Thinking about it today, I wonder how one who was present at that moment and had never been one for reading felt that night. Did they feel left out, and desperately found themselves in front of the shelves of Aristoc the next day trying to get that good read some one was going on and on about?

This I realised is why some people fail to be themselves. There you are imagining that you probably need to come up with some wise cracks like Aivan, know/own almost all the best sellers(books) like Darlyne, be acquainted with all the intelligent reads like Tumwi, have wit under your sleeve like baz, be able to wrap almost every IT solution around your finger like Dante, know all the lyrics of hot songs like B2b, have a package of brains and beauty like Cheri, come up with wild theories like Rev, seem like you have the world at your feet like antipop, smile like duksey, be carefree like tandra, down to earth like kissfur, deep like Iwaya, creative like heaven, know people and live in outside countries like Mr.Magoo or be madly in love like Carlo.

The list is endless, but the bottom line is, the challenge of being yourself with all your seemingly mediocre characteristics. The times I have interacted with some people (not necessarily bloggers), one thing I have realised is that sometimes they (we) are driven to be someone else just to fit in a crowd. This also reminds me of edmo’s post about whether the blogger we are is really us in person.
I leave the verdict to you guys. I had written a conclusion like this but somehow it didn’t seem to fit in well.

proposed conclusion

I will risk sounding like a self help coach by saying that the grass is always greener on the other side, just coz you can’t do all the seemingly cool stuff others can, doesn’t mean that your own stuff ain’t cool, its all about your attitude darling…

So! Where is the welcome back party at?

The drought spell has finally come to an end. Phew, you guys can now exhale and cross your fingers so that this girl stays on top of her game in blogsphere. I haven’t blogged for almost months (Is it that already).If you want the real story- I don’t know why. I just couldn’t get myself to blog. The other part of the story is that there was so much going on in my life and I felt that the moment I get my hands on the key board, I may go over board with the gut spilling. Well, does that sound believable?

So what was I up to? The sun sets and long evening strolls talking about nothing were countless. Though as the days progressed, they were accompanied by home cooked meals and doing dishes. Can you imagine? Fancy leaving work like at 4p.m dashing to a supermarket to pick some
Fresh food, cutting tomatoes and onions as dude feeds you ridiculous stories and jokes. ( He can only cook eggs- like 10 of them at a go, with 3 tomatoes and an onion- can you imagine?). Then sitting down to eat like a family after a prayer which this girl has never been able to let get into her head. Something about blessing us and … bounty…- If you are catholic, you must know what I am talking about. However if you are Anglican, like me, you know that when we pray for food, it doesn’t have to be the same prayer, heck you can come up with your own fancy lines.

So I was saying, that was the part of being as if domesticated, acting as if a wife (how scary).Doing those dishes wasn’t as funny as I imagined though.
Then there is still the part of adjusting to being hooked up. Suddenly dropping your lifestyle and schedule to fit in your one and only’s . I am still not over being unable to have a clean girl’s night out since, it’s more like girls hours out now lol because it’s hard to resist the temptation to hook up with dude at the beginning or the end of it all. By the way, you guys narrowly missed him at BHH. The bug has been that bad.

It sounds all rosy doesn’t it? Well there were some challenging moments when I really felt I couldn’t do this. It is quite draining to let down your defences and always include someone in your plans. Take for instance you keep your Saturday afternoon free to spend time with them, then they call you and can’t make it. Damn! Now you are no longer in control coz you left everything- even important stuff to be available only to get stood up. So there you are hopeless again.

Then of course shaking off all the once hopefuls who comforted you and listened to you when you were available. Life isn’t fair, they gots to go, Period! Anyhow, the list of stuff to contend with in this new arrangement is endless.

But hey, enough about that mushy stuff now I am back to blog often. I feel good and won’t be digging in my brain for excuses to give you pips.