I am....Fertility Challenged
1. What is your age, or if you'd rather, your age range (early 20s, late 20s, early 30s, etc.)?early 30s
2. When were diagnosed?
2007 by me, 2008 officially by the doctor
3. What is your official diagnosis?
PCOS
4. What treatments have you tried?
3 cycles of Metformin, Clomid & Estradiol
2 cycles of Metformin & Clomid
2 cycles of Metformin and Gonal-f
1 cycle of Metformin and Femara
5. What are you future plans for family (treatment, adoption, foster, child-free living, family now complete)?
We would like to try again when G is about 2 years old. We have to wait that long thanks to my stupid super stretchy incompetent cervix, but man am I itching to be pregnant again already!
6. What do you like least about infertility (besides all of it!)?
The cost. During treatment it felt like I was just trying to buy myself a kid.
7. What is the best advice you've gotten regarding infertility?
"You WILL be a mother." If you are willing to pursue all options, you will end up a mother whether biologically, via donor sperm/egg/embryo, fostering or adoption. Child-free living was not an option for us.
8. What advice would you give a newly diagnosed person/couple?
Read everything you can get your hands on about your diagnosis, but take the non-official stuff with a grain of salt. If you find an article about a sucessful study, show it to your doctor and get their opinion. If the doctor doesn't care to look at what you've found, find a new doctor. If your doctor doesn't respect your opinion, thoughts, feelings, etc, find a new doctor.
9. Anything else you'd like to share about your journey?
It's rough, but it's even rougher without support. Find at least one person with whom you can share everything about this journey, in addition to your partner. Better yet, find a group to share with. You'll become fast friends, trust me!
I am....Mommy
1. How many children do you have?
1 with me, 2 above.
2. If you did fertility treatment, what was your diagnosis and what treatment worked for each child?
PCOS. For the twins, our second round of Metformin with Gonal-f worked. For Griffin, Metformin and Femara.
3. If you adopted or are in the process of adopting your child(ren), was it a private adoption or a foster/adopt situation?
N/A
3. Are you planning/wanting more children, or is your family complete?
We'd like another so Griffin has a sibling.
4. What do you love about motherhood?
Griffin's excitement when he sees me. The snuggles. The "I can't go to sleep unless I see Mommy" nights (even when I'm exhausted).
5. What about motherhood could you do without?
Whining. And it's not just Griff whining at our house!
6. What is the best advice regarding motherhood you have received?
It's actually on deciding to be a working mother, and it was from my working-mother OB. She told me that going back to work can be hard, but it's so worth it to feel productive and to see how excited the kids are when you pick them up/get home. She knows. She has four.
7. Any "ass-vice?"
"[My son] ate fruit at 2 days old. The doctor told us to give it to him!" while I debated when to start cereal with Griffin.
8. What advice would you give an expectant mother?
Relax. You're not going to screw up your kid if you don't have the top of the line, newest, flashiest thing. You're not going to screw up your kid if breastfeeding doesn't work out. You're not going to screw up your kid if you breastfeed until he/she is two. Seriously. Is your child fed, clothed, loved, happy? Yes? Then whatever you're doing, you're doing it right.
9. Anything else you would like to share?
I'm still in awe that this little guy loves me so much. I also still wonder how the hell they let me out of the hospital responsible for a child!
I am....an Angel Mommy
1. How many angels do you have waiting for you? Two
2. What are their names and angel-ages?
Wallace Stuart (Wally) and Elizabeth Louetta (Liz), 2 angel-years old.
3. How do you keep them close to you?
I talk to them every day - usually during bedtime prayers, but other times as well. My BFF gave me a pink and a blue baby snoopy when I got pregnant with Griffin. They were supposed to be for him, but I've kept them in my room so far. They remind me of my Wally and Liz. I think it's time to give them to Griffin. I also have a bracelet that was made for me with crystals on them symbolizing our family at the time (Me, Bry, Wally & Liz), and I have a charm bracelet with all of my children on it.
4. What gives you comfort in your grief?
Faith. My family. My friends - especially those who cried right along with me and remember them daily like I do.
5. Do you want to add more children to your family?
Sure do!
6. What was the best advice or nicest comment you received?
Really it was just my BFF sitting next to me on the couch and crying with me. No words needed. Just being able to be free to feel what I felt and express it in the presence of a friend.
7. What was the worst?
Someone offered to sell me her two kids because they were "monsters." Said in jest, but totally inappropriate.
8. What would you say, or what advice would you give to a new angel parent?
Read about the stages of grief. It gave me strength to know I wasn't going batshit crazy. Know that thoughts and emotions will come - acknowledge them, and then let them go.
9. Anything else you would like to say about your angel(s)?
I love them every bit as much as I love their baby brother. Also, I wish that more people talked about their angels openly. Our children aren't "taboo." We talk about grandparents that have passed, what's so different about our kids?
Thanks for participating! I'm reading over the responses and I'll post about that soon - hopefully later this week.
