Flailing Away with Frustrated

Talking with my dad yesterday we touched upon a subject I think most people want to avoid sometime in their life… what to do with an aging parent. My grandmom, a feisty lady in every since of the word and one of my personal heroes, is 95 and beginning to have to face the challenges of memory loss and the challenge of having a body that has weathered the storms of life for almost a century. Her memory is getting to deteriorate to the point it could be dangerous to her and to those around her.

How do you sit down and tell a person you love that it might be time to give up the independence that they have thrived on for 95 years? What decisions will the daughters have to make to insure grandmom’s safety while trying to keep her as independent as possible? I think such decisions are some of the toughest because her loss of independence will mean the loss of the level of happiness she has enjoyed forever. I don’t envy my mom or my aunt and their tough decisions…

I was sitting in the interview chair waiting for the camera to come on and begin my thirty second spot of chatting about my service club’s big event on Saturday when the reporter, a good friend of mine, whispered to me, “I’ve started preaching out at the little church I attend.” I told him I thought that was great because he has always had such a sweet spirit and a passion for people and Christ. I also told him I thought he would be a natural at it… he is thoughtful, provocative, and doesn’t mind challenging people to think.

“The only reason I never went into ministry full time is because I didn’t want to have to bury people before their time or marry people who didn’t want to be married.” I could relate to that aspect of ministry well as the lowest point in my time as a minister was having to officiate two funerals within one week for babies. Seeing parents who had been trying for a while totally crushed by the death of their infant. It was the worst experience and the most faith challenging because there is no great answer to their pleading of “why?”

I hope the best for my friend. I hope he never has to officiate a funeral for a child and I really hope his time in ministering and teaching is filled with blessings and challenges that will only build his faith. I think I just might have to slip out there and hear him speak.

This week and last week are two of the busiest and craziest weeks I’ve had in awhile. Three big events last week, major grant due at the end of the week… and then there is this week… major event on Saturday, two grants due this week, and enough meetings to choke a horse… and I’ve turned down invites to at least three additional meetings for this week alone.

However, I went fishing on Saturday and for the day I just sat, fished, and enjoyed the company of my good friend Pete. We caught bass, pollywogs, and drowned a lot of worms but what I think our biggest catch was a break from the stress and pressure of deadlines. We threw the fish back… we kept the break. It was definitely a keeper.

I was debating whether or not to include the “bonus children” on the series of relationships and after much thought, no bourbon, I think I will. I rather like the term “bonus children” or “bonus kids” because they are exactly that, bonuses. Surely anyone who has ever been through a blended family experience knows that the blending of families is a tenuous business at best but if you work hard at it there are great blessings to be had.

The hardest part of analyzing the relationships between myself and Cpt. Loran and Suz is the simple fact I wasn’t there during their younger years so I obviously do not have the long line of remembrances to draw from. This doesn’t mean I don’t have a “wow” and a “regret” section, it just isn’t as developed.

That being said, I think I will combine the two of them in one blog.

Things about Cpt. Loran that make me go “wow”
He is extremely confident and charming.
He definitely has a great intelligence and a creative mind.
I’ve only read a sampling of his writing but his ability is obviously deep and he has tremendous potential.
I have watched him grow from a “I don’t want to work kid” to a young man who now realizes the potential impact he has on underprivileged kids.
He has matured amazingly in the last six months.

Things about Suz that make me go “wow”
She is absolutely fearless when it comes to challenges she has decided to conquer.
What a wit!
She is creative in her writing and her dramatic abilities.
She has taken on swimming and is on the swim team which requires such hard work and commitment.
She has really blossomed since starting high school. There is very little shyness left in her and the confidence she has is worthy of applause.

Regrets… I am sure there are some but none pop into my mind at this time. I think regrets typically come over lifetimes and hopefully there won’t be many.
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