The Gingerbread Man

Today I realised that my previous post was actually misleading me. I asked for readers to help come up with some opinions about the function of the 2nd energy center, since these days I have the intense inwards urge to focus my endeavour on it. However, earlier today I remembered a very simple basic truth which I had forgotten: the processes occurring in me now have little to do with energy work or any other “spiritual” technique: they have to do with the consciousness and form a work that has consciousness at its core.

From this point onwards, I realised that what occurs moves according to its own schedule and needs no immediate energy diffusion from me, apart from what comes from up naturally. Also, that fulfilling the current steps cannot be done simply by channeling energy into an energy center etc. – that would be too easy. But experiencing certain things and displaying a new attitude while actually in them – that is something. Hence, I don’t really need to delve deeply into the functions of the 2nd center per se, but just flow with things as they come. And flow they do…

The past hours have been very intense. Yesterday night I couldn’t sleep – again. (I’m so thankful to life that has provided me now with the conditions to do that with no problem, since it’s so important…). I lied down but instead of sleep what came was an intense flood of memories and emotions, of imagination, that swept me with its rapid flow. This flood I can describe only as a jungle: memory and imagination whirled and turned in all directions, chaotically. Many many things came up, in a nonlinear fashion: some fights I’ve had with people in the past, memories of my (obligatory) army duty, of certain “close encounters” I’ve had with the… gentleness of police forces in my home country etc. These memories also triggered an intense bodily reaction in me., which was specifically emotional in nature. It is this clue that today led me, finally, into some understanding of what’s going on now.

So, I opened the Pandora’s box in my body. This is what has occurred with the urge and the ensuing prayers to clean and elevate my “matter centre”, not an energetical elevation that would be easy to achieve, but easy to lose again. Certain experiences that have been imprinted in it welled up, claiming their space. They have always been there, tucked beneath covers. But currently it’s revelation time for them. Now, the interesting bit: these bodily imprints express themselves mostly through emotions, hence through the 3rd centre. Therefore, what occurs now has as much to do with the 2nd centre as with the 3rd, that of emotions. Those two cannot be separated, they intermingle widely. Currently, a cleansing of both takes place, it cannot happen otherwise. And I’m grateful for that. (more…)

These last couple of days I’m getting evermore intense urges to continue upwards in the inner spiral. Up to now the focus has been mostly on the sexual center and its need for integration with the rest of me. This has been achieved to a satisfactory degree and albeit there’s still more to be done, now I feel it’s the time to shift emphasis higher: to the 2nd energy center, on the belly.

Although this energy center of mine is mostly working smoothy, there have been instances through the years where I have felt that more is needed, a conscious and focused cleansing of some sort. I remember, for instance, that I have felt at times as if there is weight on that center, blocking the flow of energy (note: no, it’s not my humongous belly on the way :p). I’ve performed many times sheddings of light in it, but now I feel that something more conscious is needed. A deeper delving.

However, I encounter a small problem. Up to now it has been quite easy for me to flow into my centers, sort of ‘scan’ their status and feel how they are. Also to get to know their functions, potential and use. Now, bowing in front of my belly center to see what it needs, I am surprised to see that I can’t recall one single thing of the experience I’ve gathered over the years about the functions of the energy centers. Not even the inspiration I received upon coming here on what exactly this particular center has to offer me – yep, I had some. It has all vanished. As if I’m a tabula rasa on that one. Which might actually be a good thing, opening the way to freedom; yet I feel I have no direction.

Hence this blog post. I would love to hear from anyone out there about experiences they’ve had had regarding the function of the 2nd center. I would appreciate any relevant comment, especially those stemming from personal experiences and not from book knowledge. I know book knowledge can be interesting, however on such issues I much prefer direct knowledge coming from experience.

Some general ideas that occurred to me today, to kick it off, is that the belly center is actually the matter center on the body. That it has lots to do with the physical body and its functions. That it has to do with how one grounds the higher aspects of the self, and especially with balance. Also that it forms some kind of base to build on. I can feel that, when in tune, it can be rock-stable.

Finally, I feel that it has lots to do with how light courses through the physical body and out of it, on the material world, when one consciously comes in touch with the fire within and tries to shed it in the world around.

Any further ideas would be greatly appreciated… Cheers!

A few nights ago I had an interesting experience I’d like to share, along with the realisations that stem from it. It was quite late, perhaps 4 am, and I was working. But I couldn’t concentrate. Outside, the skies were opening, there was a huge thunderstorm approaching. I decided to leap into the opportunity and go out for “TV”: watch the lightning meet the sea.

I went a little bit down the hill, to a spot that is very dark, in which I spent many hours of summer nights watching the stars. Around me, the wind was howling and there was lightning from all sides, very frequent, perhaps one per 20 seconds. I lied down and left my consciousness to the senses. A parenthesis here is that I noticed how a lightning doesn’t actually “fall” from the sky, but occurs simultaneously between the earth/sea and the cloud. It’s as if they are kissing…

Anyway, after a while, I noticed that I started to feel uncomfortable. There were some lightning strikes that must have been really close, because everything around me would go white, and then my eyes needed to adjust. Although I could feel no electricity in the air, I realised that I was most probably the most electrical object around, lying there on a rocky fence, on top of a hill. I looked up and I saw a black cloud over me, brooming. Then I felt that, if I tried, I could come in contact with the cloud, its energy, the electricity crackling in it… (more…)