Lasts and First

The time has come for Aubrey to spread her wings and fly.  Tomorrow morning she heads to Portland, OR to begin the next phase of her life.  She has a job, a life plan, and big dreams to chase.  I'm really proud of her for all the growth and progress she has made in her life the last couple of years. She has lived at home since high school and we have been able to watch her overcome adversity and transition beautifully into adulthood.  I can't wait to see how she grows and blossoms as an artist, a student, and an individual in a setting much more conducive to her personality and creativity.

And, because it isn't hard enough to have one daughter leaving, Taylor is also prepping to spread her wings and fly. This week was the last school play - something we have been doing together since Taylor was in 5th grade, the last speech and debate tournament with the high school team - something that has consumed our lives for the last four years.  She will be heading to Western Kentucky University in August to compete with their college speech team and I look forward to watching her further develop her incredible talents.

The last few weeks have been filled with too many lasts and those lasts are hitting me hard.  Today I gave Aubrey her last haircut and it made me cry.  I'm sure it will not be the last time I cut her hair but it will be the last time for a while.  Last night was the last family dinner. Not knowing when we will all sit around the table together again is difficult for me to accept. On a personal note, this week will also be the last time I coach the speech students that I started coaching with.  I imagine tomorrow will be a difficult day as I say goodbye to Aubrey then coach my seniors for the very last time. All these lasts remind me of how full my life has been, all the opportunities I have had to form meaningful relationships with my daughters and their peers.  These lasts are bittersweet, difficult for me knowing that my role is changing, happy for me knowing my daughters are ready to pursue their own lives with confidence.

These lasts for me mean many firsts in their lives as they set forth to conquer the unknown.  I look forward to seeing where these firsts will lead them......

It's Been a While

For many reasons I found myself on an extended hiatus from blogging but I miss it and now I am back.  This past year especially, there have been many events that I have considered sharing but somehow still never managed to make a blogging come back.  But yesterday, as I reflected upon the death of one of the debate students at our high school, my heart was full and I needed to share what I was feeling (it then took me quite sometime to remember how to log into my blog and write a post).

I began coaching for the speech and debate team, as a speech coach, about a year ago.  Early on in the season I was assigned to chaperone the debate bus.  I was pumped up!!  My first tournament as a coach, my first time riding the bus with the team, our first tournament of the season.  I took my role of hyping up the students very seriously.  After roll call I pumped two fists into the air and shouted "Who's ready to debate?" The response was crickets and nervous looks at each other.  This should have been a clue but I chalked it up to the early hour on a Saturday and tried again. "I can't hear you!! Who's ready to debate?" A few very weak and unclear responses followed.  I made a puzzled face and looked at the Debate Captain (a student that I know very well) he smiled nervously and kindly explained "Mrs. Headrick, we don't really do that on the debate bus.  It's more of a speech bus kind of thing. But after the tournament, on the way home you can be as exuberant as you would like." Oooooh.  I politely waved to the debaters and then sat back down in my seat. 

A female voice from the seat across the aisle asked me a question I couldn't quite hear.  I scooted to the edge of the seat and spun my feet into the aisle and met Alyssa, a petite blond sophomore with beautiful blue eyes.  Her hair was pulled into a low harsh ponytail, no makeup, and she wore a black pantsuit with a white button up shirt and a black tie.  The only girl on on team to debate in LD and the only girl wearing a pant suit and tie.  A first time debater, nervous for the tournament.  She chatted away and I listened as she told me how excited she was to be on the team and how nervous she was to debate but she was also confident that she was well prepared.  I knew I liked her right away, her smile and her enthusiasm were contagious, and yet she struck me as someone who could use any love and support I had to offer.  I decided in that moment I would do my best to get to know her and support her.

Throughout the season I did my best to talk to her at tournaments, listen to her on the bus rides home as she rehashed her rounds and tried to make sense of the judges feedback.  I watched her celebrate victories and cry over defeats. On those bus rides she opened up and talked about her family and personal issues in her life. I know being on the debate team mattered to her and she worked hard.  She didn't qualify for the state tournament but she traveled (independently of the team) the two and a half hours to be there.  She assisted her teammates in writing their cases and did everything she could to help them achieve success.  Both of those teammates ended up competing at the national competition and she celebrated their victories.

On the Fourth of July, in the middle of the day, she and her brother were walking through their mother's neighborhood, across front yards to stay clear of the road, when the driver of a pickup truck somehow managed to swerve off the road and hit them both from behind, ending their beautiful young lives. They never saw the truck coming and never had the chance to try and get out of the way.

I heard the news on July 5th.  I ended up leaving work early to come home to cry and try to process this tragedy.  We met as coaches that night and on July 6th we met with the students at the high school (along with school supplied grief counselors) to discuss Alyssa's life, share memories, grieve, and validate their feelings of 'its not fair.'  Its not fair.  It doesn't make sense.  One family lost two of their children in a senseless act.  It is heartbreaking and devastating. I played a very small role in Alyssa's life but I know that she will play a much bigger role in mine.  We don't know how much time we will be given here on this earth.  Regardless of the potential we possess we can be taken by an unforeseen event of which we have no control over.  All we can do is do our best to make the moments in our lives memorable.

The Duo team I coached used two quotes in their intro this year that I think about all the time, not just because I have heard them hundreds of times at practices but also because of their beautiful message and ominous warning.  "You can't add days to your life, but you can add life to your days." "To live is the rarest thing...most people just exist."

Now is the time to start living.......

Christine's Birthday!!!!

Christine turned 9 on September 1!  Here are 9 things we love about Christine:

1.  Mom- I love that Christine is always so nice to everyone.

2. Talia - she is kind to others and loves snuggling with me.

3. Taylor - She is crazy and playful.

4. Aubrey - she puts alot of effort into everything she does.

5.  Dad - She loves to climb in bed and snuggle with us.

6.  Mom - Christine is so nuturing.  She loves to take care of others and their needs.

7.  Aubrey - she likes to make others feel included.

8.  Talia - she loves animals...and video games.

9.  Dad - her new earrings match her pretty blue eyes.

Christine is a very tender-hearted little girl.  We call her Nini (knee-knee) because she couldn't pronounce her own name when she was little and that is how she said her own name.  She is the calmest daughter by far and it is often rereshing to have her calming presence in our home.  She is never too concerned about what others think of her, she is confident in who she is and what she likes and doesn't feel the need to follow the crowd.  She loves four square and plays it everyday at recess whether her friends do or not.  She is thoughtful of others and their needs and so sensitive to the spirit.  Her prayers are always so meaningful, I learn so much by listening to her tender, thoughtful words.  I am very grateful to have her as my daughter, I feel so blessed to be her mom.

Happy Happy Birthday Aubrey

For Aubrey's birthday today I thought instead of our usual birthday interview we would try something new.  Today our favorite household teenage turns 14!!!  She started high school and seminary...she is just so grown up!!  Here are 14 things we love about our 14 year old:

1.  Mom- I love that she cares so much about fashion and works hard to put cute outfits together complete with hair, makeup, and accessories.

2. Dad- two words.....band spats.

3. Christine- she works hard at her school work.

4. Taylor- even though we argue I can still come to her for advice.

5. Talia - she is funny

6. Mom - she loves doing chores......not really but she does them anyway usually without complaint.

7. Dad - the roads are safe for two more years.

8. Christine - she loves to read.

9. Taylor- she does her hair pretty for school, and lets me do her hair for her sometimes too

10. Talia - she is weird

11. Mom- she is a good cook and always wants to try making new things

12.  Dad - microwave eggs in a dish

13. Christine - loves to play guitar

14. Taylor - she plays fun songs on the piano (and in general is really talented with music)

We love you Aubrey!!!!!  We love that you push yourself with running and have improved so much.  We love that you are having so much fun with marching band (and look so stinking adorable in your uniform).  We love that you are excited about high school and seminary.  We love that you are a social buterfly!  We love having you as part of our family.  Happy birthday Aubrey!!!!

Catching up....Again

A brief recap of the last couple of months:
*Spring Break we colored Easter eggs (which I neglected to post pictures of for our anual contest)
*Took a trip to Niagra Falls.  The girls loved it!  I had a lengthy chat with Talia before we went that if she were to get in the water she would end up going over then edge and it wouldn't be fun. The highlight of the trip was taking the boat ride to the base of the falls.
* Chris totalled our other car.  Not our new van but our old van.   It really needed to be replaced anyway but now our insurance will be taking a hit.
*Taylor graduated from elementary school and is now headed to middle school! (YIKES!)
*Aubrey graduated from middle school and is now headed to high school!! (DOUBLE YIKES!)
*Christine moves up to fourth grade but will remain on her IEP.
*Talia moves up to first grade which means all my girls will be in school everyday all day.  What will I do with all my time?
*My sister Jenny is finally getting married! So we will be headed out to Salt Lake City this summer.   If anyone will be out that way in August let me know!!!
*Aburey and I just returned from Young Women's Camp.  It was a blast but I am still trying to recover from sleeping only 13 hours during the entire week.
* Went to see Rascal Flatts!  LOVED IT!
* Bought new trail running shoes with zero drop soles.  I have been running in my five-finger barefoot shoes for 3 1/2 years now and I love them but I wanted something in between.  I hate my old-school tennies but they were my only other option so I needed something for when my five fingers aren't quite what I am looking for.
* Today our family is begining a unprocessed food challenge.  100 days of unprocessed food.  Wish us luck!

Spring Break?

Today the clouds decided to snow; a sudden change from the unseasonably warm weather that lasted through most of March and into the very beginning of April. The girls are all home for Spring Break and I tried to get them to go play outside but they wanted nothing to do with the cold.  Instead they declared it National Sisters Day which of course means staying inside, wearing pajamas, fixing each others hair, watching tv, building forts, having a dance party, lots of giggling, story telling, and junk food (eaten inside the fort).  Aubrey, however, wanted nothing to do with it.  Instead she put on a gray pea-coat and aqua Fedora, grabbed Chris's old trombone, and went outside to sit under a tree by the road to play a B-flat scale over and over again looking like a homeless jazz musician playing the blues on a sad cold day.  I have no idea where this persona of hers came from.  At least she is entertained. 

This Week in the Life of Talia

Talia had her friend over one day this week and they had a couple of very funny conversations.  I heard them arguing about the meaning of Easter so I decided to intervene. 
Mom:  Talia, what is the problem?
Talia:  Lauren doesn't know what Easter means.
Lauren: Yes I do!
Talia: NO!  I told her it was when Jesus was resurrected but.....
Lauren: ....but that's not what my dad said!
Mom:  Ok, Lauren.  What did your dad say?
Lauren:  He told me Easter is about how after Jesus died he came back to life again.
Mom:  [Totally smiling] You are both right.  Coming back to life again after death is what resurrection means.
*I did explain resurrection to them in greater detail so that they did not think it meant you would be back to your everyday life walking around and going to school.  Talia is quite a daredevil and I didn't want her to think this meant she was like a cat with nine lives.  Sometimes I think she needs to wear full body armor at all times.  One day I need to do a post just about the stunts she performs on her bike, one of these days she will give me a heart attack - one of us is destined to die from her fearlessness.

Later that day the girls are at the table coloring and somehow a conversation about Hello Kitty came up.  I only overheard part of the conversation.
Talia:  But Hello Kitty's real name is just Hell.  O is like her middle name and her last name is Kitty.
Lauren:  Talia! That can't be her real name!
Talia:  Yes, it is!  Her name is Hell [long pause] O. Kitty
Lauren:  But Talia that's not a name that's the H-word.  It's really bad and you are not supposed to say it.
Talia:  Why would that be a bad word?  It's just her name.
Mom:  Hey Talia her name is really Hello, you know like you are saying hi to someone.  And saying hell really isn't nice.  It can be a bad word.
Talia: Oh.  I always thought her name was Hell. [shrugs then goes back to coloring]

Talia brought home her behavior report from school from last week.  It showed that she had been punished by having to move her car to the red light and the note from the teacher simply said "restroom trouble."  I looked at Talia and asked if I even wanted to know what that meant.  She rolled her eyes at me and said, "Mom, I was just sitting on the sink.   It's not like it was a big deal.  I wasn't actually sitting in the sink."

We flip-flop playdates with her friend Lauren and late last week it was Talia's turn to play at Lauren's house. The two of them were playing a game where you pick a card from a pile and it has an action on it ex: Clap your hands, Twirl in a circle etc.  There is both a picture and the words telling you what to do.  You look at the card and do what is says/shows.  The purpose of the game is to teach you to read.  When I went to pick Talia up, Lauren came running up to me to show me a card from the game. Giggling she said,"look at the card that Talia picked!"  I looked at it and didn't understand why it was funny and I gave her a puzzled look.  "I dared her to do it and she did.  Actually we both did it." Lauren explained but I still didn't understand.  "What do you mean?" I asked her.  Lauren continued, "It says get naked so we did!  But we kept our panties on."  Then the girls both erupt with giggles.  I look at the card and point to the picture of the boy without his shirt on blinking as water is being splashed at him, "You guys this card says blink your eyes!  Not get naked!"  I explained. 

Another day this week we attended a baptism and afterwards we stayed for refreshments.  Talia was wandering around socializing and I wasn't too concerned about her because she was staying in the same room as everyone else so at least I could see her.  A man that we attend church with came up to me and said he had to tell me what Talia had said to him .....comments like this always make me nervous.  This man has red hair so he said to her "We have the same hair."  To which Talia replied, "Yours is a little lighter than mine."  He went along with her, "Yes and its a little shorter than yours too."  Talia agreed, "Yes, and yours is starting to fall out and mine isn't."  This conversation was being retold to me with a group of other people around.  One of the ladies listening heard me apologize and stopped me, "Don't apologize," she laughed, "we all know Talia and anyone that enters into a conversation with her knows what they are getting themselves into."  Terrific.  Now you have all been warned.