Gratitude Journal Entry

I just need to write down some experiences that happened to me last week.  I have not had family pictures taken for about 3 years.  James is now 3 and in our last picture he is 6 months old.  Charlotte is not in a professional family photo at all yet and she will be 2 in a month.  We went to St. George with friends over Labor Day weekend and arrived home Monday evening so the kids could go to school Tuesday.  I had scheduled pictures for that upcoming Saturday.  I had yet gotten clothing to wear for the pictures.  Instead of going into my usual panic I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help me.  I acknowledged that getting clothes was not worth spending a lot of time on however I did need them so our pictures would turn out nice.  I plead with him if he would help me I would not spend too much time on that since there are far more important things I can be doing with my time.  I sent James to preschool on Wednesday morning and Charlotte and I headed to the mall.  I immediately found clothes for James, Scotty, Madeline, Marianne and Charlotte.  I was so grateful for this and told Heavenly Father this through several prayers in my heart.  We picked up James and went home.  The next day I braved taking James and Charlotte to a few stores to finish up my shopping.  I then found things for Scott, Haley and myself to wear and Madeline.  I found something better for her.  James and Charlotte were perfect and we went to the grocery store for food and then on home.  Meanwhile all happy.  That in and of it self is a miracle. I thanked Heavenly Father again, repeatedly. By the time we got home Charlotte was asleep.  I put her in bed and then made lunch.  A friend called to see if James could come swimming with them.  He was so excited.  So I was left with ample time to prepare my lesson for Sunday.  I had read most of the information already but sat down to read some of the information again and hopefully plan what I was going to teach.  I did this for a while and then got really sleepy.  So I laid on the couch for a little nap.  I slept for a half hour or so and then was awakened.  I was too tired to get up so I lay there for a little bit.  As I was laying down I had tons of thoughts flood my mind regarding my lesson.  I had an object lesson clearly laid before me and almost word for word what I needed to say in this lesson.  I laid there and played it over a couple times to make sure I knew what to do.  Then I promptly got up and wrote it all down.   I thanked Heavenly Father for giving me the inspiration on this lesson.  Soon, James came home, Charlotte woke up and Scotty came home from school.  After that there is no free time for me.  That evening in the middle of the night James came in my bedroom awake complaining that his stomach hurts.  So I sent him to go to the bathroom and let him climb in bed with me.  The next morning he was not himself.  He had a runny nose and still complained of a tummy ache.  We ran a few errands and I did not take him to preschool.  By the time it was 11 am he was not really functioning.  He would sleep for an hour and then wake up and want me to hold him.  Then he would collapse on the floor somewhere for another hour.  This went on all day. I knew he did not feel good at all.  By the evening he was starting to have a hard time breathing and had developed a bad cough.  We gave him a couple of breathing treatments but they did not seem to help much.  By 9 that night Scott was really worried and wanted to take him to the hospital.  I was concerned but did not feel it was necessary.  Still I had family pictures in the back of my mind.  We were scheduled to take them the next afternoon.  I was tempted to cancel but couldn't do it because why would the Lord help me find clothing if he knew we wouldn't be able to even take the pictures?? Where was my faith. I knew somehow it would work out.  After talking with ward members that are in the medical field we decided to take him to the emergency room.  We are so glad we did.  They took him back immediately and gave him a steroid and an hour long breathing treatment and he was still laboring to breath.  They did X-rays on his lungs to make sure it was not pneumonia.  It turned out to be a nasty virus that settled in his lungs.  He came home around 3 am.  The next day he was feeling much better.  We continued his medication and breathing treatments and by the time picture time came around we were ready to go.  What a huge tender mercy the Lord gave us through those difficult hours.  I have no doubt that he knows me and my family and that he loves us!  He is mindful of my desires and wants to help me out and does help me out when I recognize His hand in my life and I am striving to put him first.  The story goes on.  Pictures were a success as far as they happened.  It was so hot outside who knows if any will turn out good.  That is a lack of faith! Shame on me!  They will be wonderful.  The next day was Sunday.  Even though James was feeling better, we did not feel comfortable sending him to nursery in case he could still pass on the virus.  So Scott or I had to stay home with him.  Normally it is me because I quickly volunteer. I am the mom right? Scott was headed on his annual elk hunting trip Sunday afternoon and had not packed at all.  Not because he was procrastinating but because he was helping me and spending time with the kids.  He had taken Scotty to the movies Saturday after family pictures to have some much needed one on one time with him.  I was so proud of Scott for putting Scotty before his hunting trip.  This has been hard for him in the past.  So again Heavenly Father provided a way for us.  We both teach a youth Sunday school class.  Scott has the 16 year old class and I have the 17 year old class, so days like this are hard.  Usually he would just teach both classes and I would stay home, because I get terrified to teach both classes.  I have gotten used to my own class and the kids I teach are great, mature, respectful and participate.  His class is the opposite mainly because of two particular boys.  But I knew I had to teach because the Lord has inspired me on what exactly those kids needed.  I cannot doubt that.  How could I let that inspiration go unused? I surely would have been held accountable for that.  So terrified I went to church and taught both classes.  At first only half the kids were listening, the rest were playing on their phones. The two boys that cause trouble thankfully were fighting so they did not sit together and would not really talk (at least to each other).  As I got to the object lesson all the kids participated and by the end I had their full attention and the spirit was present.  It was amazing.  I am not sure how much the lesson impacted those kids but I do know that I gave the message the Lord wanted me to give and that felt good. The whole message was that the commandments are given to us to help us BECOME like our Heavenly Father.  The Lord is amazing.  I am learning little by little how He works through the spirit to use us as instruments in His hands.  The other great miracle about this is Scott was able to attend a sacrament meeting with James during our church and still had time to pack for his trip.  If I wouldn’t have had inspiration about my lesson, he would have been teaching the class and would not have had time to pack.  That too was a tender mercy that came out of this.  It was an amazing week.  I wish I could say this week has been the same.  It has been quite the opposite.  I have been struggling emotionally along with my kids.  Why can’t all our days and weeks be filled with inspiration, love and joy??  As my dear mom told me this morning, “because we would not grow”.