This Shirt

I was going through the top drawer in my dresser, and came upon an article of clothing that I hadn't seen in a very long time. I had purposely buried it so deep within the drawer, so that I would not see it on a daily basis. I actually forgot that it was even there. If you are curious what it was, let me share a picture to give you a visual...........

This is the last shirt that hugged my growing belly. This is the shirt that I lifted over my belly, and watched my little Isaiah dance around in the safety of my womb. This is the shirt that I put on before going to bed that night..... the last night I got to hold him in my belly. The last night I got to feel him kicking..... the night I rode in an ambulance, because something was very wrong.......

After arriving in the E.R., a gown was placed over this lilac colored shirt, and I was taken up to the O.B. department. I went through contractions all night long in this shirt....... I was told that I was dying in this shirt...... and that I would loose him as well....... that little boy dancing so happily, so peacefully within my womb..... I received many blood transfusions in this shirt. I went through labor in this shirt, a labor that was a nightmare..... just to give birth and death all in one....... I was wearing this shirt as his heat beat slowed one beat at a time..... This pretty lilac colored shirt went from hugging my growing belly, to hugging my son that lay in my arms...... This shirt was on me, as his precious soul went from my arms, into the arms of Jesus....

After the delivery, I was taken into surgery with this shirt on. I had to be put under, and have my placenta removed piece by piece, because it had grown into part of my uterus. I received more blood transfusions in this shirt. I came close to my own death in this shirt. This shirt was cut off of me either before I left the O.R., or after arriving in the I.C.U.

This shirt was handed to me shortly before I left the hospital, because it was considered my personal property. I arrived and left the hospital with this shirt.

Today, I opened this shirt up, and laid it on my kitchen table. I put the sleeves together that had been cut, and took both halves that used to be whole, and tried making it look like one piece......... while trying to put my shirt back together, I had a thought; this shirt could really represent my heart, and how it must look after going through the heartbreaking loss of my son. Then, my thoughts turned toward the Lord, and I smiled. "Yes, Father, you have made me whole again. I know that I never will be the same. My heart has been shaped and put together differently, but when I look close, all of the pieces are still there... being hemmed by your hands.

Grace for the journey~ A Day of Encouragement and Remembrance

I am so excited to share that Sufficient Grace Ministries will be hosting a women’s conference and remembrance ceremony where I attend church!! It has taken a lot of work getting this set up, but it sure is going to be worth it! Kelly Gerken, Holly Haas, and I, are excited to share our hearts with all who attend, and will also be having a special time for others to share their stories as well. You can read more about this exciting conference below:

Grace for the Journey ~ A Day of Encouragement and Remembrance

Hosted by Sufficient Grace Ministries

Saturday, October 13, 2012

5:00pm-9:00pm



Harbor Light Community Church

8220 Clayton Road

Harbor Springs, Michigan



We are excited to announce plans for a day of remembrance and encouragement for mothers who have experienced the loss of a baby, and for anyone who wants to better understand how to minister to those who grieve. We all face trials and loss in this life, so our message of hope is relevant to anyone, regardless of whether you have experienced the loss of a child or not.



There will be a few speakers to share about the following topics:



Finding Hope Through Grief’s Journey

How to Minister to a Bereaved Parent

Making Precious Memories ~ Incorporating Your Baby’s Memory into Your Family Celebrations

The Effects of Sibling Grief and Ways to Support Grieving Siblings



We will also have a time of sharing, prayer, and a remembrance/sky lantern release ceremony honoring our babies in heaven. Mothers will have an opportunity to personalize each lantern. We will be bringing some items to share with the mothers, from the Dreams of You Shop, and some other gifts to encourage. There will be refreshments, and a time to share with one another in the telling of our stories. This special retreat will be hosted by Sufficient Grace Ministries with no set charge for the participants. Free will donations are appreciated to help cover the costs of this event and to support the outreaches of this ministry. We are hoping to spark interest with the mothers in the area, as we believe this event could be a great comfort to those walking this path. October is national pregnancy loss awareness month, and a special time to honor these precious lives, and encourage the mothers with grieving hearts.

To register for the event, please send your name and contact information to either Kelly Gerken at: sufficientgraceministries@gmail.com or Jennifer Ross at: hoster777@live.com