Mishaps, musings and modern life
Tales from the everyday trenches.
With snack breaks
NEW: still warm from the keyboard, slightly toasted
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How to adult: Manual sold separately
I thought adulthood came with a manual: mortgages made sense, lentils behaved and you stopped Googling “how long do eggs last”. Then you find yourself on a kitchen floor at 11:32pm watching a tutorial about a fridge that sounds like…
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Cling film wars
Making a sandwich shouldn’t require strategy. And yet. This collection lives in the gap between expectation and reality—where appliances hold grudges, keys vanish on a Thursday, and the mundane turns theatrical. It’s everyday warfare, told over a proper cup of…
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Just one more squeeze
A humble tube of toothpaste becomes a daily referendum on character. This piece unpicks how small habits turn into battle lines—rolling versus squeezing, dignity versus chaos—and why we care far more than we should.
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Surviving Monopoly: Mayfair, Jail, Repeat
A “quick game” of Monopoly is never quick. It’s a slow, cardboard unravelling of trust: bankers accused of fraud, rules replaced by vibes, and one person quietly plotting a board flip like it’s a civic duty. Family bonding, but with…
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When your trolley chooses violence
A supermarket trolley should be a simple partnership. Then one wheel goes rogue and suddenly you’re diagonally line-dancing through Aisle 5, sweating with pride, refusing to swap carts like it’s a moral failing. Modern life, but with tinned tomatoes.
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The invisible weight they carry
Patriarchy doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it naps. This piece looks at the quiet ways domestic life trains men to protect their rest first—while chores and emotional labour become “shared” in theory only. Awareness is the starting line.
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Suspended: Notes from a hospital waiting room
Hospital waiting rooms sit in a fold of time: not quite life, not quite medicine. We don’t look at each other, except we do. Teal chairs, fluorescent hum, held breath. Alone, then oddly connected — just waiting for permission to…
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Sunshine amnesia: barbecues, blankets and barely warm beers
England does sunshine like it’s a celebrity cameo: unpredictable, brief, and capable of making grown adults abandon laundry in favour of sitting on damp grass with warm beer and unearned optimism. I used to fear the sun. Now I’m out…
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Slang Wars
Ever sent your child the perfect parenting message, only to get a reply that crushes your millennial soul? I explore the linguistic battlefield between generations and why “K” hurts more than rejection.
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40 plus: No FOMO, Only JOMO
This is for anyone tired of competing with imaginary prodigies online. At 40, success looks like getting through the day with dignity and at least one matching shoe. Come for JOMO, stay for the relief of opting out.
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Ghosts of friendships past
Friendship breakups happen in silence, without drama or closure. Just the strange emptiness where someone used to be. Why losing friends hurts differently than romantic heartbreak.
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The 3AM Club
Welcome to the 3AM Club, where insomnia meets existential dread and your brain decides it’s the perfect time to solve the universe. Sleep is overrated anyway, right?
