Sing a song of gladness and cheer,
For the time of Christmas is here.
Look around about you and see,
What a world of wonder this world can be...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Winter snow is falling down,
Children laughing all around.
Lights are turning on,
Like a fairytale come true.

Life is precious. Every moment spent is like a fragment of the jewel that is life.

My sincere condolences to the Llanto family. Ariel, you will be missed by us all.
Thanks for the wonderful childhood memories and the laughter that you brought into our lives.

The greatest power man possesses is his influence in the lives of his fellowmen.
Be conscious of it 'coz with that same power you can make or break lives.

The noise people make of their lives leads them to ultimate doom...
... for mystery arouses the curious and thought is deepest in solitude.

7 days and counting...

Happy Birthday to Me... hehehe

Les, thanks for the troubleshoot. Finally, you were the one who answered the call. So you guys there do tech supprt for our ISP. Thanks jud for the help. I dunno what I'd do without my laptop having an internet connection. Thanks also for that nice talk. Always great to hear a voice from Cebu. I hope it didn't get you to much trouble. Dnt fight your officemate over it because she has the upperhand to make things look bad for you. Just forget the whole thing and just continue doing your work to the best of your ability. Text me if there's anything I can do.

Another group is homebound.
They'll be going back to Cebu this coming Tuesday after 6 months of stay here in Lexington. Once again I'll be having the room all for myself... who could be my next roommate? Tonight after the dinner which I helped them cook, we went to the green grassy open field behind the hotel to just sing songs while Rophie played the tunes with his guitar. We had fun just singing and having chitchat sitting on the extra bedsheets we used as mats to cover the spiky grass. The place was great. Nothing like a whole meadow, silent cool evening breeze, clear sky with lots of stars and friends.
I'm still awake since I can't sleep.

Am listening now to DHT's version of the song I posted below.
Cheryl inroduced this song to us tonight.
I like listening to this version... among the other nice hits here.
Anyway, here it is.

Listen To Your Heart

I know there�s something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You�ve built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
When he�s calling for you.
Listen to your heart
There�s nothing else you can do.
I don�t know where you�re going
And I don�t know why,
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They�re swept away and nothing is what is seems,
The feeling of belonging to your dreams.

And there are voices
That want to be heard.
So much to mention
But you can�t find the words.
The scent of magic,
The beauty that�s been
When love was wilder than the wind.

Our beloved Ate Gloria, who's been so generous to all of us trainees here, was fired from work yesterday. She's the head of the housekeeping department and the general manager fired her due to the low ratings guests have been giving regarding the housekeeping job the hotel does. She works really hard, even harder than all the housekeepers here combined. I've seen her work and she's always prompt with delivering our requests like whenever we needed dishtowels or whenever we need to have the kitchen floor scrubbed from oil spills. She's a kapwa Filipino by the way. She invites us to her house to have dinner sometimes and even sing karaoke with them and the other Filipino friends we've met here. I feel so sorry for her loss of a job. And what made everything really awful was that yesterday happens to be her birthday. Heartless people. They could have at least chosen a better date. We visited her last night and bought flowers for her since we heard she wanted someone to give her flowers on her birthday. We went there to comfort her and helped her bounce back from all that negative vibe on a supposed-happy occasion such as a birthday which comes to a person only once a year!

Well, we're gonna miss her in the hotel. She's applying in the hotel just beside ours (3 minute walk), so we get to see her still. I hope she gets the job, but I guess the pay will not be as high as the one she had. Nevertheless, at least she still gets to find income to pay her bills. She does have a big house. Hmmm... I hope she's OK now. She was already smiling last night when she saw us knocking at her house's door with a bunch of flowers for her. I dunno what's with flowers. They have magic in them somehow. hmm...

Your Blogging Type Is the Private Performer

Your blog is your stage - with your visitors your adoring fans. At least, that's how you write with your witty one liners. And while you like attention, you value your privacy. You're likely to have an anonymous blog - or turn off comments.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

I've finally figured out some things to say... Been so speechless, and quiet and reflective for the past few weeks. I dunno if keeping this blog is such a good idea. When I started this thing, I started it for one major purpose and that is to share my thoughts. It's been... what... two years since then and I've come to reflect that none of this has amounted to anything... not just one bit. I dunno... maybe it's the weather here or something, but all I know is that I have ideas and thoughts to share, but I guess I'd better keep them cooped up inside this tiny brain of mine... 'Coz it can do no one any good. It never has. Are my thoughts even that interesting? I would just amount to some crazy guy who happens to talk sense about stuff, doesn't it? I thought that I could help people through my blog... more like an extension of the counseling work I once do for people in school. But you know what, I'm sorta tired of being such an open book with all my thoughts and feelings because it just doesn't have that appeal anymore... to me at least. I mean, I guess I'd probably be happier if I were the mysterious dark water that runs deep. People seem to like those kind of peope who are the "ever-mysterious". Instead of me always doing the thinking, why don't I leave it to the world to figure me out and bleed their brains out till they get to figure out who I really am... to them at least. Talking and sharing too much keeps you too open... and well, left out in the open too... alone! It's a good feeling to help people, to be nice to them, to treat them right in the best way they ought to be treated, but you know what, sometimes you just gotta bail out of an epidemic and quit being "Doctor" or else you get to become the patient. And when that time comes, well, who's gonna play "Doctor" for you this time around???? huh! your patients? nu uh...

Hmmm... I dunno, but this trip of mine could be a nice restart for all I know.... more like dying into one's own self or shedding some skin. Probably I'd term it as "Waking up from a coma" 'coz at this point, I'm so darn fre**k'n tired of the life I'm leading. Merlin told me something the other night and I truly agree. Guys of my kind get nowhere sticking to the "laws of the universe" or all of those good stuff. It just sucks to see everyone so happy getting away with it like the typical fair weathered friends, the submarines or the proverbial "gold diggers" or other forms of diggers.... and those other kinds of people who happen to have the same kind of feather as those I've mentioned. Wouldn't it be nice to be the one to cause the commotion than always having to be the one running after people, sobbing and having to be the one to say sorry even though you know that they don't give a damn about what you feel... or worse... they just simply don't give a rat's.... So tired of haaving to fix stuff and end up taking in the pieces of cr@p! When I watched a WWE wrestling match last Friday at Rupp Arena, there were two stocky gentlemen seated infront of us wearing leather jackets, sporting a Harey Davidson bandana and a fluffy beard, drinking beer and plainly just shouting out cheering for their favorite wrestler(s).... more like the Stone Cold Steve Austin kind of fella. I was observing the two of them and you know what... they look so free and so happy of who they are or what they are doing. It's as if no one else could dictate to them who they should be or what they ought to do. And that's what living LIFE is all about. Living YOUR life.

Nuf said... just a few rants won't hurt a fly. Then again, it's my blog, I'm in a free world and the heck with what the world has to say about it... *nuts

Am I really here for work? Hmmm... I find myself drifting once in a while. The workplace is like home and my officemates are walking helpdesks. It's so easy to get help here... I guess it's a Lexmark environment thing, but I feel that I am well supported here. This is definitely the land of the free... and there are so many choices. Just by walking down the aisles of Walmart, you'd already know what I mean. This is shopping, touring and entertainment heaven! There is such a thing as "road courtesy"... amen to that... and most of all the people here are very nice, warm and courteous... dunno with the big cities, but I could say this for this state. I'm in. Almost everywhere, people greet each other. When I wake up and go have my breakfast, I meet neighbors passing by telling me "How are you? It's a great day isn't it?" And when I reach home, neighbors go "How was your day? You can stop by our place for some milk and cookies." Only in the movies? Definitely not. Once you're new, you get that "culture shock" but after being here for nearly a month, it becomes part of your day and it truly makes my days great. When people smile and show concern, it truly blows off the worst of moods. Really! It's as if I am living in a near-perfect world. Close to perfect only 'coz that would mean bringing my whole family and set of friends here to experience all that I'm enjoying. *sigh Till here. Have to cook my dinner for tonight and my lunch for tomorrow as well. Take care peeps and I hope you're still visiting this website. Once I get my laptop, I'll be posting more often and with pictures!

Here's something:

1. If you could change one trait that you have, what would it be and why?

Sounds like a pageant question. hmm... ahem
I'm a fast paced person. If I were a cartoon character, I'd be that rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. what's his name again? Was it Roger? I need to take things slowly and allow things to happen in their right pace and time. Sometimes I'm impatient and I can't wait for results. Of course there are things that need to be hurried, while some need to take time. I guess I'm extreme. I need to be more balanced.

2. What is the one thing that intimidates you the most?

Definitely people who are scheming. It intimidates me because it's hard to understand their true motivations. I'm one person who puts a lot of emphasis on trust. It's hard to trust someone who's capable of stabbing you at your back... worse if they stab you right in your face. I value my relationships with people and it's just sad sometimes that I can't be their friends anymore because they've hurt me somehow or have broken my trust in them. I should live in a world where everyone's trustworthy and honest. In what world is that possible. Maybe I should take the next mission to Mars.

3. What do you think people should know about you that they don't?

They should know that I do care about them. Some people take me for granted because I'm too nice, while some are afraid of me 'coz of my frankness and oftentimes decisiveness. Indeed, I'm a caring person once you get to really know me. I'm born with it. I just don't show much of it because I don't want people to capitalize on it. I'm concerned for people because I feel happy and secure to have friends who are doing well in their lives. I still dream of a perfect world, the 22 year old that I am. I possess the fancies of a 10 year old boy, with a mind and will that's as experienced as a 35 year-old. I'm torn in between my innocent self and my world-dictated self. I know the harsh cruelties of the world, but I choose to see it to be better than what it is because it's the only way to find hope in this forsaken universe.

4. Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Hmm... I used to have an image, but now I don't. As what I've learnd in life, the only thing constant in this world is change. Gone were the days that I have a solid image of what's ahead. I don't keep those images anymore because it will just disappoint me if they aren't met. Someone taught me this and I didn't listen so I had to learn the hard way. The future is so uncertain such that if this question were asked of me, I'd say that in 5 years from now, I'd be John Alexander Lim, male, 27 years old, successful and independent.

5. What is the one thing you have now that you consider priceless.. why?
My health and the people in my life. People don't have pricetags on them and so are priceless. My relationships with God, my family, friends and colleagues are the priceless possessions I have. Would that make me poor??? 'coz these are intangible stuff. Definitely not! Wealth in life is measured by the quality of life a person leads and the roles he plays on the stage called life.

Rules: - If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment saying "interview me"
- the first five to leave a comment requesting to be participants will be interviewed.
- I will respond by asking you five questions.
- You will update your blog / site with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.'- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
(Write your own questions or borrow some).

Finally reached my destination and I'm blogging through my friend's laptop. It was a long haul flight actually... from Manila to Nagoya to Detroit to Lexington. I'm really tired from the trip but somehow we managed to walk to Walmart, buy groceries at 12 midnight! and came back to the hotel all on foot. Trip lang... It will be Sunday tomorrow for us here. Quite a "ghost" town I could say. I don't see much people walking around. They all travel in their vehicles and drive them at really fast speeds. My hotel accommodation is great and I hope that I will have lots of fun in the next days to come. Till here 'coz have to sleep na.

Happy Birthday to my dear MOM!
Bought her a pink bag from my first salary. hehe She loved it.

T'was 10:20PM last night when I had the last sighting of my "Baby". T'was a nice meeting and a wonderful night. Had dinner at Il Sole and requested their staff to cook some of the dishes which are no longer in their menu, but have been my all time favorites (the Sole Ice Tea and the Tagliatelle ala Siciliana). Yan and Selle were there and I was happy to be talking with them and just being with them before the clock beams at me 5:00PM tomorrow. Said a few things, gave them a few things to remember me by, surprised my "Baby" with cut flora as what I'm fond of. Her reaction has always been consistent... a simple thank you and she uses it like a caveman's club to hit me once. hehe I will miss that one for sure.

Floating in heavenly bliss for the moment.

As I went to bed last night, I recalled the dinner and how much I wanted to keep the moment playing all over again... as if it were a broken record. I tried desperately hard to have a fixed image in my mind and then (in computer terms) "write it on memory". I wanted to remember them just the way they were. I hope they won't change (for the worse). I know I'll miss all my friends here in Cebu, especially those who went on my dispidida party, and most of all the one that this heart of mine still beats for. I don't think the USA or Pres. George W. Bush, for that matter, can ever change that in me.

I'm looking forward to the adventure that lies ahead. I know I'll be happy there and I've always wanted to live there someday... hopefully somewhere in San Francisco... bring my family and all I can take with me to live in such greener and verdant pastures. I guess this experience will definitely teach me a lot in deciding where I'd wanna live for the rest of my life. Cebu is paradise, but there's too much suffering I just couldn't stand looking at it. I'm helpless since I know it's due to the corrupt politicians. It breaks my heart. But I know it's still what I'd like to call HOME. I dunno. For what it's worth, this trip will be an adventure and will be a taste of how it is to live in the so called Land of the Free. Need to learn a lot from my mentors there. They are one of the best in their fields and being their apprentice surely beats taking a Ph.D. on my own.

Will blog next at a different gateway.

Walter had been planning a dispidida party for me all along. I thought that we were just gonna talk about business last night at Tongs... turns out all my friends were there. I was so shocked to see how many of my friends he has gathered. I was so happy to see all my friends together again before I will leave this Friday. Wow!!! Even minutes after my initial shock, my heart was still pumping fast because I still couldn't believe what I saw. Thank you very much Walter for planning the whole thing. Thanks also to those who went there and be part of it. You know who you are. God bless ninyong tanan. Email me lang if you need anything in the States or if there's something you've wanted to buy there all along. Just let me know. I wanna post more but my eyes are burning na. Slept very late last night (3AM) since we finished at Off Roads around 1AM+... and had to wake up early for work at Lexmark.

*sigh* I can't believe I'll be leaving soon. I know deeply that my heart will always be in this place I call home.

I'm now working for Lexmark as a Junior Firmware Engineer. I'm so happy to be finally a working citizen. It's nice to be paid to do something, to enjoy the work and at the same time contribute something to my field. In a few weeks I'll be traveling abroad for training. Been busy preparing for my trip. I guess I'll be happy there and I really wanna visit the States once more and see it from a different perspective. I'm so happy to be given this opportunity and I hope to make the most out of it.

Hmm... what else should I write here... Oh yeah, I spent my Saturday with Rouselle, Leslie, Pancit and Lolo. Haven't seen Selle for so long na and I kinda missed talking to her... miss her totally would be more appropriate... hehehe... after the busy and nerve wrecking ordeal we had with our thesis... I needed some push in my life. We watched Wedding Date. 'Twas a nice movie... I liked the story, kinda typical romance story. The setting was in the States and I could relate somehow to what I'd be seeing in the next few weeks. *sigh. I'm not so sure about how I'm feeling about the whole trip thing right now. I'm very excited for the trip, but somehow afraid how I'd manage in a very distant place away from home. I guess I should just get used to it since as a working individual, trips such as these would come once in a while too. I guess I'm prepared for it... I know how to cook and do chores so living far on my own wouldn't be such a biggie. I'll be having my officemate as my roommate. Hmm... I guess that's all for now. I'll still be blogging there. Hopefully I could post some pictures for you peeps to see. Just email me if you want anything there in particular. Gotta go. Ciao.

Yesterday was a blast! I had dinner with 5 of my batchmates, Kim, Bess, Aleng, Cristelle, and Tis. We had dinner at Roma Mia... had a marinara. Then we went to Off Roads for coffee and talk. I had a great time with them all. T'was one of the best night outs we've had. Work officially starts Tuesday since Monday is a working holiday... accd to Madame President. hehe Well, this is all I could blog for now. Till the next blog. Hope you peeps like the new look.

Graduate na jud!!!Finally!!!
I can already start a new chapter in my life... *sigh... Next please!

I will be documenting our whole project tomorrow so that it could be published in technical format in the internet. Hope someone gets to read it and perhaps appreciate it enough to grant me a masters scholarship. hehe.At 11:30 I will officially be accepting the job offer at Lexmark as a BIOS programmer. I can't wait to hear what the job really entails. I can't wait also to visit the office once more. I miss the friendly faces and the "home-y" atmosphere that I love so much. It's like one big happy family there.It's been more than a month now since our OJT contract with Lexmark expired. Now, I'd be in it for real.

I'm so happy jud! Things are falling into place. I hope everything else will in time. As I look forward to what's beyond, I look back at what we've been through. It was one big rollercoaster ride and we emerged staggering but victorious. There's a lot of healing to do, but one thing's for sure - we came out stronger. I'm glad it's all over and that there's a life ahead to face and experience with optimism. Thank you Lord for giving us the strength to overcome the storm.

Bukas na ang inaabangang wakas ng aming "Kalbaryo" I hope it will be the last na!!! Can't wait to hear the news... hopefuilly GOOD. hehe. Just came from fencing training and an exhausting work out. Hanged out with my fencing buddy Harve at Off-Roads afterwards. I still like the open atmosphere. Breathtaking view of the lights in the mountains. *sigh. And I'm off to bed na.

Les, hope your bro gets well soon. Keep me posted if there's anything I could do.

Malapit na ang Saturday. Hope it will be OK na so I can close this chapter of my life. Anyway, I spent the weekend with friends. Watched movie and hang out with them last Saturday. Met David Chan and he's got a group meeting every Thursday night with some of us Sacred Hearters. I would be glad to join them and have some "reunion" after 5 years of not seeing some of the peeps. Most of them are grad na... see how fast time flies. I hope my sked permits me. Last Friday, I got to meet a fencer from the Philippine Team... coach Allan. He's a friend of my previous coach Wawit of Ateneo. Both of them have played sa SEAGames. Talked with him and he told me he's coaching some peeps sa City Sports Club. I'd be glad to be trained under him and help him coach some new blood. I'd be happy to share some techniques I learned from the Ateneo Fencing League as well as learn more. Nice to have met people who play the sport. May kalaro na ako. hehehe

The day has come and it has come to pass as I wanted it to be. It was the moment we were waiting for. We got to prove our months work of labor... and tears... and sleepless nights... and frustrations... and just about everything that could amount to what we would call OUR LIFE. We went under heavy fire and emerged... still alive. Will wait for April 23... the big day when we'd know if our lips should bend =) or =(. hehe In the meantime, I just wanna have fun and get back the life I once had... if that's what I'd call a life.

Hmm... what to say... Thesis was suppossed to be done yesterday but they made some new "policies" again which were clearly anti-student... I really don't know what their true intentions are... they're so EVIL!!! So we had to voice out our sentiments AGAIN. And so it's OK now. Tomorrow will be our checking and defense. It will be over by 3PM. I hope jud. So tired of this na and I can't wait to start working for Lexmark na. I hope and pray that we will pass and we can get our diploma na. I need to get back my life... if I still have one. Till here.

1920-2005
This site pays tribute to one of the most influential people in the world and leader of the Holy Roman Catholic Church.

Let us join the entire world to mourn the death of a very holy man. Let us pause for a few moments to pray to the Lord to send us the Holy Spirit and the angels to protect our world during the next few days till there will be a new pope. May smoke rise above the Sistine Chapel the soonest time possible. To Pope John Paul II, may you rest in peace and may your spirit be our constant guide to what is good. Amen.

Been out of the picture for a long time. So how was your Holy Week? Mine was OK... a very holy and solemn one for me this year. Visited churches around town upto Pardo and Mactan... they call it Visita Iglesia.

*sigh, Thesis work again tomorrow. *argh! It was supposed to be done last month pa... no thanks to some *people chaining us to this school. I pray for them na lang because I know only God can deliver us from this.

Watch the movie Hitch. Battle of wits and guts. Yeah! Some of you MIGHT like it. I did. Till here.

The light at the end of the tunnel is far and yet so near as it seems. When will this end? I do not know when. Only God knows where it shall take me. If only the light means what is not good for me, then I shall settle for the darkness around. I do not know... I'm just standing here...

Yesterday I went to see this seer who's in Guadalupe. Theresa Joy took me there along with her mom... and so our entire thesis group went there with our parents. I had my hands read and I could say that everything she had to say was true. I was very happy with the things she had to say. She said that I will be very rich. Money comes in fast and exists fast too since I am generous... (kuno) and then if I am to have a business, I should go alone since people will just take advantage daw of me... and then I'm very adventurous daw but I should avoid the deep parts of the sea because I will get cramps daw and possibly be the end of me. She said that I will have a very long life (contrary to what my friend told me of her seer) and then of course I asked about *ahem and then the seer said she's one very secretive girl.... nindot daw sa atubangan pero lain sa luyo.... I dunno how true it is, but the seer said she's a good girl... maybe not the right time lang daw because of parents. See!!! It's all so true.

This morning, I had my palm up for "sumpa". She used alligator's teeth on holy oil and then performed a ritual of marks on my hand... then calamansi was placed on top of the marks. It was meant to erase the omens and bad luck in my palms. I hope my life will be better after this. She showed me several miraculous pictures and her different clients whom she's helped. Of all the seers I've gone, shes the most accurate yet. And one thing I like about her is that she takes good care of you and her powers are rooted in Chritian prayers... unlike some seers who use black magic.

Graduation is slipping away!!! huhuhuhuhuhu... I don't know na what's in store. I'm feeling so dead. My other problems seem not to matter anymore. Things are crumbling to pieces. I'm the only one strong in this group. Others have broken down already. I don't think I can take this any longer. We have honors to garner this graduation unta... and we have been accepted at Lexmark already. Everything could have been perfect. Why do things like these happen that ruin lives?!?!?!?!?!

Happy Valentines Day!

Someone just made my day!

I'm now at a cafe near school. Still busy working with my thesis. This will all be over by Tuesday this week. Hope we get the grade we want. Defense will be the Tuesday after this one. Hope also nga mka graduate tawn mi. hehehe... Our panel chair is very strict. Never felt this insecure about grades. hehe

Anyway, I had fun yesterday. Took some time off thesis work. Went with Leslie to look at designs for bouquets. Found a nice one at Cascades. Will buy it tonight for tomorrow morning's surprise. hehe I'll be Mr. Detalya tonight with the florist. Hope she likes this one above all the rest.

As for yesterday, I enjoyed my time with Leslie and Rouselle. Was at Ayala helping them shop. Bought nothing and instead we were testing each other's taste for clothes, shoes, etc. After months of not doing shopping, I was rather unsure about my taste for things. Glad that I still had it and the tastes of my shopping buddies are still intact and still consistent. hehehe. We then watched "Let The Love Begin". Tagalog romance flick. =P Haven't watched a movie with her for a long time now. Tagalog flicks are very much part of the things we share in common. No matter what people have to say about them, no matter how they say it's baduy, I still am a person who has feelings, someone who needs to "belong". That's precisely the reason why we enjoy watching those movies. It creates an odd giddy feeling afterwards knowing what people may think of us watching those films. Honestly, I don't look down on Tagalog romance films, just the horror ones. hehe. I like Tagalog romance movies because the setting is very familiar to me. Unlike the Hollywood versions of it, I can relate with the setting such as jeepneys, places in Manila and most of all the faces of the actors are very much what I'd see as my kind... it's very Filipino and I am proud to be one. Though sometimes the scenes go overboard and unrealistic, but I enjoy the plot of the story. I feeel I am part of it. I feel that the movie speaks of me, my actions, my principles, my dreams are all in there. In short, it becomes a part of my life.

I certainly enjoyed my Saturday. Thanks to Leslie for all the happiness that she brings to my life. She knows I'm happiest when I'm around Rouselle and the best part is that she manages to know how I feel at those moments so she's my fairygodmother who makes it all happen on her own right before my eyes. Thanks so much Les. I hope that in time I could also be a "fairygodfather" hehe. Maybe in the near future when the guys I know could pass for what I'd like to introduce into your life.

Thanks again and I hope you enjoyed driving all the way home in her car. hehehe. Thanks and I still am having a hangover of yesterday's bliss. hehehe Till here. Have to go back to school to join my team. Till the next blog peeps. May there be more nice people in the world to make it the one spectacular happy ending movie that is LIFE.

Somebody sent me an email telling me that he added my blogsite link to a Cebu Portal website. I was shocked. Who could this be? Anyway, thanks. I didn't expect it. When I clicked on the link, there I saw the link of my site with matching BlogTitle. I hope it gets updated everytime I change template and theme.... hehehe. It's along with the blogsites of some of Cebu's famous icons like Wilson Ng, Isolde Amante of SunStar, etc. Kewl! I hope the media won't be prying its eye on me. Anyway, I hope it will be for the benefit of things. Click on this link to check it out http://www.wayblima.com/cwd/14.html

It's one of those days that I'd like to call perfect!

As I blog this, I still haven't slept for 48 hours. And surely the last 24 hours were the highlights. I arrived home at 6AM Saturday morning from an overnight stay in the physics laboratory in USC. I finished the thesis project code and with that I feel very much secure with the outcome of my thesis. As I went home, took a warm glass of milk and tried to take a nap, but couldn't. Wandered around the house and met up with Leslie in Starbucks at about 5PM. Was expecting Rouselle to be there but she wasn't since Leslie wasn't able to reach her on her mobile.

Had a long chat with Leslie and then I asked her to accompany me to buy a gift for my friend Boogie. Bought a shirt for my friend at Penshoppe. Rouselle then txtd Leslie and we went back to Starbucks.

I enjoyed our talk at Starbucks. We spoke much about our childhood days and I'm glad that we all had wonderful chilhood memories to share. Was about to go to Rouselle' car when we got diverted to TimeZone. Danced the Dance Dance Revolution 3rd Mix with Rouselle. I didn't know she's fond of that game too. And so we danced and so many people were watching us... mostly passersby and then when I turned, I saw her Ahia with his GF.... YIKES! BIG YIKES! I missed a few dance steps due to the reaction I got. Neverhtless, I continued because the show must go on. Loved every minute of it. Never expected we shared this common interest.

I was hungry so we went to Jo's Chicken Inato at Salinas drive. Had a pork belly with buko juice. Leslie had a BBQ, while the rest just had buko juice and chicken skin.

Went back to Ayala to drop off Lolo. Leslie went with Lolo and I just sat in the passenger seat with Miss Driver. hehehe... peace! I wanted to disembark and join my friends at TimeZone, but Boogie called me and said they are at CITOM because Abigail's pickup got hit by a Civic. So I just asked Rouselle to drop me off at CITOM since it's just on her way home. While in her Vitara, I had a nice talk with her... just like those times when we were still together. Talked about her business plans and I've planned to incorporate our plans together someday. I then invited Rouselle to the Paolo Santos concert at Marriott for VDay. At first, she was reluctant since VDay falls on a MOnday and she's oftentimes tired by the end of a Monday of work. Magpa firing squad lang daw cya, but she later on considered the idea after quite a number of persuasions. She's just worried what her parents have to say about it, but she will ask permission daw. I'll just have to hope that they'd consent to this. I want to watch this concert and spend my first Valentine Day with her since the time I got to know her. Pray.

Leslie: Thank you very much for your help today. Never imagined you could be that helpful to me. Muchas Gracias! Don't worry about the tickets. It's all on me. I just hope she goes. If not, then I'll still go and you'll be my date. SERIOUSLY! Rouselle said she will be off from work at 7. She had concerns about parking. I plan to fetch her from work, but it's not final pa since I still have to wait for the decision of her rentz.... *sigh. Hirap talaga ng kalaban... hehehe... Anyway, I have plans to have dinner with her and if kuyug ka it's fine with me. Don't worry about expense. I'm the one inviting, so it's all on me. My way of thanking you too for believing so much in me. Thanks! Let's hope that she can come. If the Joel party is not so clear pa, I intend to have dinner at Marriott so that we won't be late for the concert. Concert starts at 9. Hope we can have the dinner and concert in one, but the concert will also do fine. Thanks again Les and today's been one very special day. tccic!

Thanks to all those who offered prayers. Your prayers are definitely helping. Today, we visited Physics lab and we can finally capture the images we needed. We're doing overhaul of our thesis and perhaps by tomorrow, we could already adjuct to the new system. It's a serious overhaul... (translated: sayang to tanan amo gi trabaho sauna!) But it's nice to note that we no longer are facing problems. I hope that after the transition to the new system, things will turn out well. I'm in high hopes now! I just want to finish this thesis, 'coz I wanna graduate already! Lexmark Recruitment exam will be tomorrow. I've studied really hard for it and I hope I'd get the job AFTER I graduate... that is IF I graduate. I think I will, so thanks once again for your prayers. May God continue to bless you for having so much faith in Him. Till here peeps.

WHEN BEING GOOD IS BAD

My bestfriend keeps telling me "Who said life was a bed of roses?" How can he say this with utter calmness in a declarative form with a facial expression that is definitely his trademark. When is being good bad? I don't believe that being good is a bad thing. This belief of mine could potentially kill me with all the stress that comes with never-ending disappointments coming my way. It's a cross that we all must bear. But many have gone street smart and I too, honestly, am starting to incline myself to that direction. Principles are principles and they should always be kept. Don't do stupid things out of desperation and neither should you hold on to principles which "philosophically" apply but really have nothing to do with what's happening. Change what can be changed and face what cannot. And wisdom is knowing the difference between the two.

I feel it too. It's hard. It's tearing me apart. But it's a way of life. We make choices and as what Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Follow your heart, either way, you'd still be damned." Many interpretations to this for people who have different views in life. We do not know for certain what the future holds and all we can do is to live in the NOW. Being good, or being bad, it's a choice. It's a dynamic choice we take as the world's events are also dynamic. All we have is ourselves, our honor, dignity, value and worth. And may our choices preserve all those because if we lose them, we are "public static VOID" and that's when life loses its meaning.

Be it for love, it's best to be the right person for the one you love than to find the right one for you. We do not choose who we love. They choose us. We do not choose to love Christ, He chose to love us. We love and love and continue to love till we are wise to know when someone has chosen to love us. The line that binds people is not a single line that is bidirectional. It's two lines running from opposite sides. In this case, you cut one, there's still one. Cut the bidirectional one, forever is lost.

My bestfriend's friend told me the other day in her very fluent English accent, "Time is the best gift you have. It helps you make certain what it is you want and it helps you size up the big picture. In time, you'll realize that all this is too trivial. Life is too big to waste on little things such as these and time will save you from missing out on so much more." Very wise words from an 18 year-old girl. I must be growing old since I'm already starting to find the words of the young truly inspiring. Words such as these were mine ages ago and I guess the mind has worn out dry from all the things that life has brought. It clouds the view and the safest way through the clouds is a steady route... thus stubborness and fixation sets in. When is being good bad? When it clouds your judgment.

Darkness looms over our thesis. Prayers are badly needed and HELP would be more than that. It's situations like these where I wished that I should have been more assertive and more firm of my stand. When situations such as these come in, it's difficult to weigh will power against respect for authority. I'm such a sucker for the latter.

I wonder why people see this certain "aura" about me. I don't have one and even if people "see" it, they just probably dwell too much on whimsical imagination. Do I do things in a certain "special" way where it gives them the impression that I am God Almighty, that I can do the unthinkable. I am certainly no God and that's obvious. I'm just a mere mortal just like any one of you and at a snap, my life and all that I am worth could simply burn to ashes and be laid to waste in the realm of the forgotten. Why is it that people expect too much from me or from people I work with? Is this a compliment? It's a curse. It was a simple project. Find the ball, go near it and pick it up. But since Johnny has halo, wings and a lyre, he is expected to catch a ball that is hurled using two cameras... cameras that would cost 125K each to implement such an extraordinary task which the New York Yankees couldn't even perfect.

I want to graduate. i want to graduate with all my heart. I'm tired of this sh*thole I call "school". 2 more years added and I could have been a doctor with all my heart. I want to work. I want to have a business. I want to be rich. I want to be free. I want to be happy. The only thing in my way are 3 people who think that my team and I are MIT students who can create a WAM (Whole Arm Manipulator) that can catch a pingpong ball. Go to China! What's worse is that I'm also taking in crap from my teammate who can't handle the pressure. Poor her and all the effort she put into for 5 years to get a magna diploma. I can feel how heart-wrenching it would be. I need a miracle. We need a miracle. Things like these are one of those which money can't buy. Cruel damned world it is.

After tonight's work on our thesis, I can see the daylight already. I think I can graduate... I think. Just yesterday, I was already contemplating on having a summer where I'm still in school doing finishing touches on our thesis. With the February deadline, it's rather difficult to submit results in time for defense. I just hope we accomplish as much as tonight in the next succeeding days. We're already moving at full throttle, but time is once again not on our side. Why is that? Palagi na lang.... *sigh.

Till here 'coz I could barely make out the letters I'm typing.

Had fun last night with friends. Rouselle invited us to her birthday party at MoonCafe. I love the food and especially their drink named Secret. It gave me an idea that perhaps I should open a restaurant of that kind somewhere in Talamban. Plans plans and just plans... *sigh. We then headed off to Tops after dinner and the view there was breathtaking. It drizzled, but that didn't stop us from enjoying the view and enjoying each other's company. It felt good to be there with friends, especially the one who makes my heart skip a beat. Hahay... it would have been really nice to be there at Tops while we're still 'on'. Obviously, that's not the case, but still I was happy to be with her there. I don't know why I'm such a sucker for doing "heroic" deeds when a romantic opportunity is posed before me. My mind goes blank and I just do what my heart tells me to. Flowers for a girl in a romantic place, at a romantic moment but deep inside I know that the right feeling is just not there. lalalalalalala... *sigh, John. Thanks to those who helped me cherish that moment to its fullest. You know who you are.

Got to sit beside her on the edge overlooking the entire city... pointing to her the places she asked me to trace and she pointed out too where their new house will be and that it also has a view of the city. *sigh! If only my dad didn't sell our lot at Ma.Luisa, we too could have a house with that kind of a view. *sigh... enough na John 'coz you're fleeting too far from reality again. Till here na lang 'coz you still have to work on your thesis pa and that enough should make you disconnect! Till the next blog peeps.

Happy New Year to all!!! May 2005 shower in prosperity, warmth, joy and laughter to all of us! Let's make this year count!!! I see great things this year when March ends! I hope by then the greens come in rolling in a millionfold.

"Simple" wish list for 2005:
1. Start a business with a couple of friends as partners (no one got rich working for a company).
2. Have my own car... preferrably a Mercedes Benz Silver Arrow or a Ford Escape (something more "reachable") hehehe.
3. Buy a house and lot.
4. Have my bro design a house that we could call our own!
5. Have money to pay for a grand fireworks display for 2006 (since all I did was just look at the skies this 2005... hehehehe crisis!)
6. To change what can be changed and to accept what cannot be changed and to know the difference between the two. (isn't that what they call wisdom?)

Is it really simple? Not a bit, but it never hurt to dream big.... who knows diba?