Today is the 11th day in China, I cannot wait to go back to Singapore.
Chatting with this volunteer makes me recalled what I have been going through for the past few years. I started as an intern in ESPN back in 2009 and it never stops till today. I am still in it -the same industry despite having thoughts of switching. It is definitely not going to be easy for the switch because I know I will have to start from scratch and all over again. Do I really want to do so and most importantly am I prepare to do it - mentality? After so long, I am finally out of my comfort zone. Like I said, there are so many things for me to learn from my direct boss. I am pretty sure she is willing to teach and guide me throughout when necessary. 2 years are all I need in this company- I am telling myself that! I need these two years to help me to get a higher decent pay when I hop. I am being very practical- pardon me. I am constantly telling myself that I need to learn fast and be more mindful with all my work. It is essential for me to prove to her that I do not deserve an extension probation but rather a confirmation soon. To be honest, a total of six month of probation is no fun. I am fully aware of my capability - my strength and weakness. However, I definitely feels that I should not fall under that category. The manager in my department had her probation extended for 3/6 months. I have worked with her for three events. I certainly have some issues with her- I have my strong opinions on her working style, personality and integrity. She does not take ownership of what were tasked to her ( according to her, this was one of the reason why her probation was extended), she pushed her responsibility around and twisted her words. And of course, my personal experience with her for not being honest. I have seen too many of her ugly sides- that's very scary. Colleagues and not friends! I have no intention of making friends with them but to keep the ties clear - pure 101 percent colleagues. However, there is an exception-Karen. Based on my sixth sense, I think she is someone that can be trusted. One more thing for sure that I need to fulfill is to impress the boss of the company. I will never forget what he said to me " if you do not have any to contribute to this meeting, you do not have to sit here. You can just sit at the side and take minutes". I was upset and I felt intimidated. I vow to myself that I am not going to allow him to make sure comments about me again. I will need to do my homework to prove myself. It is going to take time - I do not want to take my time though.
That is all about work.
Recently, I have been pretty upset with my life. *You might be thinking since when I am not upset and emo about my life! Nonetheless, I still think I have shown slight improvement over the years. I am not sure if work has indirectly cause me to be upset with my life. It is always easy to associate unhappiness to work, i suppose. I admit that I am an emotional girl and require more than normal amount of attention - which can be mentality straining for someone. That is just me, is not it? I felt that I have lesser friends that understand me like before. I do not know what actually happen. Sometime, I would rather spend time with myself.
Tough life.
I miss .. ..
sad
