The Secret Garden

Goodness, this place is so dead its a wonder if anyone still comes here. If you’re still coming to visit here, it must be because:

1. You’re too bored. OR

2. You accidentally clicked on my link. OR

3. You just wanted to see if i had unlocked my blog. (highly unlikely) OR

4. You’re not studying like how your conscience is screaming at you to. OR

5. You, like me is hiding under the table, using the computer secretly, just to annoy your parents. (I’M KIDDING.)

Anyway yes, if you’re surprised, i am back. But not for good. I’m just back to tell you i’m moving. (Yes, groaaaan. She’s changing her site AGAIN?)

Have you watched the movie ‘John Tucker Must Die’? Well, if you have/haven’t, at the start of the film, the narrator says that her mom always moves house whenever she breaks up with a boyfriend.

I’m like that in the cyber world except i don’t have boyfriends. I just change my blogs whenever i feel i have changed. Maybe i never really do change, maybe its just my mind playing tricks on me, maybe this just another really big and bad mistake. But, i don’t care really. There are just too many memories here that i would rather leave alone.

I won’t lock this blog anymore but i won’t blog here anymore either. You can stay here and read all my old post.

Visit here if you want to keep up. xoxo.

Remember to relink. 🙂

PS: Best viewed with Google Chrome.

I think that my favourite seasons are Spring and Autumn. I use to say i love winter but when i went to Australia and found out how cold it already is just before winter, i decided to change my mind. Winter is only nice when you’re all wrapped up.

When i was younger, my parents took me and my sister and our maid to Toronto to stay. I really don’t remember anything about Toronto or Canada. I don’t even remember nearly burning my finger or accidentally letting someone rob my necklace. I don’t remember sitting on buses to go to pre-school or on the train for that matter. I don’t even remember any of the seasons either even though i was there for about 2-3 years.

Anyway, i think i like Autumn and Spring the most. Autumn is like the season where the old leaves shed and Spring is when the new leaves come out. Its like us, basically. Like when we’re going through a change. And even though all the old leaves will shed, we will still always have that one person we still love and can never forget or that small habit that you can’t seem to break and its probably one that makes you, you. Autumn is the season to change, to get rid of old habits and to learn to grow.

Spring is when you just spontaneously change and become a new flower. Spring is a very colourful season and its like you start to get very colourful in character. I like being colourful, both literally and virtually. That’s why i like Spring. 

Autumn’s colour is more like red-yellow, fiery and seems more of a romantic season.

I think i just went through a season of Autumn and Spring. Now, i’m still at Spring and i’m actually quite contented.

I was just thinking about what kind of questions the SASA interviewers might ask and i’m pretty sure they will ask me:

Why psychology?

Well, i’ve thought it through and i’ve come up with a good answer:

Actually, i’m not sure what i want to do. But, if you look at my talents, the best job i can get is probably a housekeeper. Because i just clean things so well and so fast. (Of course, got some tricks la.) Ask my mom, she knows since i always clean and mop the floor of any number of rooms faster then anyone in the family. And the floor becomes squeaky clean too. And actually, i want to become a gardener and a carpenter and probably a teacher too. Oh, and i want to learn crafts too. I’m not really the type of person who likes to draw attention to myself so i would go for jobs that make me happy and only draw a bit of attention. I don’t mind doing really small jobs like gardening, babysitting, or carpenting as long as i get enough salary and i’m happy. And of course i want to dance. A passion to learn and also teach others the art of dance has some how grown in me. And actually, i could screw A levels and all that and just go and start taking dance classes. So actually, interviewing me right now is pretty stupid.

BUT, of course i’m not going to say all of that. 

In fact, i sincerely hope they don’t ask me this question.

I have been stuck at home so much, i’ve started online shopping. Again.

My mom made such an issue about this last year, because i was shopping so much online AND wanting to go out and shop some more. 

Anyway, this year, i have managed to keep it from her and my dad. Heheh. And i’ve been really good, i’ve been saving money and using my own money to pay because i want to be independant!

And i’ve also started to purchase more dresses. Flowery ones. My sister thinks i’m becoming more adventurous in fashion when in actual fact i’m just buying the dresses i know i will definitely feel comfortable in. 

Today itself i just bought another flowery dress. And actually ever since i started investing in more flowery clothes, i have started loving my wardrobe because its so colourful.

Yes, loving. And once upon a time, i was a girl who said i would never ever wear any skirts or dresses apart from my school uniform.

Last time, whenever i bought stuff online, i almost NEVER wore them. But then again, the stuff i bought last time weren’t dresses or particularly colourful.

Now, i can’t wait to wear these dresses.

Sadly, the only place i can wear them to is church. But after SPM, when i enter college, i shall wear them all the time. At least i’m not worried about wasting my money on things i shall never wear.  

And actually the strangest part is how i abruptly decided to invest in more flowery dresses. It was right after my confirmation i remember. Its like i’m addicted to looking for flowery clothes.

Every time i tell myself, this is the absolute last time i shall walk into the bank and pay, but yeah, about 4 weeks later, i’ll walk in again to pay for another dress. At this rate, maybe i could buy a lot of dresses now, to save on cash next time!

And i just realized i need new shoes. This referring to a particular pair of Vincci flats that literally fell apart. And also a particular pink sandal that has fallen apart too. And also a pair of dark purple heels that i have borrowed to Radhika for a few months. 

Anyway, i promised myself not to stay too long here, so i shall bid you farewell now. FAREWELL!

After finishing Konserto Terakhir, there is only one thing i can say.

HILMI DIES?!

That’s it. This story is stupid and i’m not answering it, given a choice.

For now, i am hiding under my table using the laptop. Sssshhh. I’m supposed to be studying.

Anyway, I just realized how short we have till school ends. I’m really really REALLY going to miss everyone and everything. Yes, even that stinky toilet i hate to use in the form 5 block.

I should go on a photo hunt real soon.

I have a confession to make.

My photo hunt would work really well, IF I HADN’T GONE AND STUPIDLY DROPPED MY CAMERA. 😡

There. I said it.  

And it costs over RM300 to repair my beloved camera! 😥

I shall never ever drop camera’s again. Or anything that would be expensive to be repaired, for that matter.

I decided to go back to my old blog and read my old posts. I’m shocked.

Was i that eager to make people laugh at my posts? Now, when i re-read them, they seem more…wannabe. Like i’m trying too hard to fit in. 

Fine, some of them are funny, but most of them show plain insecurity. Was i that insecure last year? And am i even more insecure now?

Let’s just say that right now, I’m shit scared about the SASA interview because i know they will ask me a lot of questions like why do i want to go to HELP, or what should i let them give me a scholarship, or describe myself, etc.

I’m asking myself these questions now, and i don’t think i can answer them. Well, except for the describing myself part. 

I think i need to talk to Prav or Nande. FAST.

I’m getting really frustrated with myself this holiday. All i seem to be studying is freaking bio. How can doctors make bio into a living? I’m studying it like 3 times a day, for 3 weeks already and i can’t stand it. I’m sick of it. I’ve studied it so much i feel like pulling my hair out. But that wouldn’t really work because unfortunately, my hair has a funny penchant for dropping out on its own. In very large amounts. Sigh.

Anyway, i found this really effective way of studying moral. Yes, i plan to score. Moral is actually a really easy, but boring subject. It doesn’t require much practice like add maths or physics; and it doesn’t require much reading and understanding like bio and chemistry.

Its just memorizing and understanding the same nilai’s that we’ve been studying since form 1. Which in total is about 34 nilai’s.

What i do, (and this is TOP SECRET. Cross your heart that whatever information i’m about to reveal is strictly confidential, like FBI confidential. None of my family members must ever know i’m involved in this) is i wait for a moment when there is only me and the maid in the house. Or i’m alone at home. I take the moral nilai’s and start walking around the room scolding my interact tie for ‘tidak mengamalkan nilai penglibatan diri dalam pembangunan negara’ or preaching to this invisible crowd that ‘kamu mesti mengamalkan nilai hidup bersama secara aman.’  

Its a bit like therapy and IT WORKS. 

Try it. 🙂

On another note, I:

1. have gotten bangs this holiday.

2. shall never ever drop any camera’s ever again. and

3. got shortlisted for my first ever scholarship. But its only an interview and i am oh so close.

Just curious. If lets say one day you got transported back in time to your parents time, what would you be expecting?

Okay fine, i’ll tell you why i’m asking. I have a feeling that if i was accidentally transported back into my parents time, i would enjoy it.

Reasons why:

1. Things were so much cheaper then.

My dad and my mom used to sneak out of school and run to some ice kacang man and buy an iceball that  has gula melaka and red syrup on it. And they would suck on it until they had finished sucking all the gula melaka and red syrup. Then when they only had the ice ball left, they would conspicuously start an ice ball fight. And all of it only costs 5 cents. 5 CENTS.  

2. Parents then must have been pretty awesome in those days.

When my dad was about 5 years old, some men came and repaired the ceiling in his house. So you know how ceilings have the plaster part and the wooden plank part? Yeah, you’re supposed to step on the wooden plank part because the plaster part is very weak. My dad was really young and quite the adventurous type, so he climbed up the ladder to explore. What happened to my dad next was like Murphy’s Law. He stepped on the plaster part and fell right though it, onto the stove, into a pot of soup. I never asked whether it was boiling soup or what. Considering how my dad’s butt looks now, it can’t have been boiling. Anyway, if any child did that now, he/she would get sent to bed. Instead, my grandpa(my dad’s dad) took my dad out for a movie!

ANDDD there was this other incident where my dad got his head stuck in a beehive. My grandpa took my dad out for a movie after that too! I think after that, my dad kind of ‘accidentally’ got himself into more accidents so that he could get more treats. 

3. Stall vendors were so much politer then.

As in they serve from the heart. Like even now, when i return to Penang and i go to any restaurant/hawker stall, after you have eaten, the owner will actually say thank you to you for coming and ask you to come again. And the food will be reasonably cheaper too!  

Here, in this God forsaken city, KL, hawker stall vendors would give you what you want , ask for your money, then stomp off. No smile, no thank you, no please come back again. They want the money more than anything. Whereas in Penang, people there enjoy the company. They don’t really care about the money. That’s partially why things are still reasonably cheaper and friendlier in Penang than in KL.  

4. Everything used to be so much safer then.

Now, you want to go out, or take bus, or take LRT. TAK BOLEH. Why? Oh, because got kidnappers la, blih bla bla. Even if your parents are the pretty open-minded type, you will still have this funny feeling to keep alert for trouble. Kids then were sent to do things that now we have maids to do for us. I think that’s partially why the kids then, matured faster and were smarter. They even knew how to enjoy life then because they didn’t have internet or handphones to distract them!

Anyway, this really abrupt, but i needa sleep now. Ciau.