Kimy the Rottweiler
This Concoction Defines Me
In one of my mindfulness activities, I was “forced” to enjoy my cup of coffee for 15 minutes. No phones, no thinking, nothing. Just my coffee and I.
I claim to be the weirdest drinker I know in my life. Believe it or not, I put EVERYTHING that I can find in our pantry into my daily cup. A typical “coffee” for me has (1) turmeric juice powder, (2) matcha powder, (3) Nesquick, (4) a bag of green tea, (5) sugar, (6) Coffeemate, (7) black coffee powder, and the typical 3in1 coffee powder sachet. I have it all in my tall tumbler. I do not mean to brag. In fact, doing this activity made me realize something embarrassing – I have no idea what I am doing.
With this activity, it is just now that I realized that my “busy” cup of coffee reflects the constant rush in my life. I am always on the go. I always like to multitask. I always like to try different things all at once. For me, there is no time to waste. I should have it all now. I cannot keep still. I cannot keep calm. I cannot enjoy a simple 3in1 coffee. I cannot just enjoy a simple black coffee, a simple milk drink, or whatever single-ingredient drink other morning people have. As a result, I cannot savor anything. I know in my mind that I have it all in my mouth, but the taste… what do I taste? I do not know anymore. I cannot pinpoint where is the coffee in my coffee drink. My coffee ritual now feels like another item in my to-do list, where it should be my break. My escape. I want to be more mindful of it moving forward.
This is nostalgic, almost liberating revelation and self-discovery. I enjoyed this activity because as simple as it is – where you are instructed to just simply drink – the ways our minds react and perceive senses are profound.
Module Entry 2: Is the Measure of Intelligence the Ability to Change?
Note: Below is an entry for a class assignment in my Theories of Learning class. The following are my personal reflections and insights about intelligence.
The Intelligence Conundrum
THE NATURE OF INTELLIGENCE
I would like to focus on this area: the characteristics of intelligence. Most people deem someone as intelligent if he shows great capacity to be efficient in his life. This is when he adapts well in his surroundings, practices lessons learned from past experiences, shows confidence in the ability to solve problems in the future, and demonstrates quick but efficient learning of a subject. I would know if someone is intelligent if he possesses these characteristics. One way to quickly spot one if he has the ability to find a way to solve a problem at hand given his situation and knowledge. In very short terms, an intelligent person can adapt, learn, think outside the box, and solve.ON INTELLIGENCE AND EDUCATION
Attitudes and behaviors of both teachers and learners are heavily influenced by the nature of intelligence being tested.
The differences in beliefs will manifest in broader aspects because these will shape and predict the standard of the school administration, curriculum, instructional design, educational technologies, or policies.
For example, a Montessori school thrives to develop natural interests in children using activities rather than use formal teaching methods. The school’s belief is different from a regular public school. With this as the goal, the curriculum and the policies will be heavily student-centered. Consequently, students who are given the chance to participate and excel in activities will surely nurture their innate abilities, which comprises their intelligence.IMPLICATIONS ON POLICIES AND BROADER PRACTICES
Such differences in beliefs will hold even bigger implications for national and global interests because just as the quality of family life reflects the quality of the society, the beliefs taught and practiced in schools will shape the beliefs of students. Over time, the students will reflect the beliefs of their schools. The relevance and uses of their learnings will be factors in shaping the national interests. When national interests are cultivated and entertained, global influence will take place.
The Progress of Your Belief
Note: Below is an entry for a class assignment in my Theories of Learning class. The following are my personal reflections and insights about the definition of learning.
“My uneducated and informal definition of learning is it is the product of realizing the progress of your belief, whether it be acquiring a new idea from a blank state, solidifying it through positive events, or redefining it as a result of a negative experience.”
— KC Pahinag, learner
Beliefs are anchored to truth, and your truth defines your actions. Now, these actions will eventually lead to positive or negative experiences. When we encounter a negative experience, we stop doing a particular action. Or at least, that is what we are supposed to do. Otherwise, we are not learning. When we change our perspective, we change our actions. In contrast, when our good deeds are rewarded, we hold on to our truth and become confident in our knowledge. When we create a different course of action and still get rewarded for it, we learn that we have options, sometimes even better ones.
The solid evidences gathered in our experiences shape our learning. When we learn that something is good, we continue to do it. When we learn that this is detrimental to our well-being, we stop it. These are why I say learning is more of a product than a process.
Learning is experiencing our action when it is combined with the outcome. What we know can just be a piece of information, often meaningless, and it will retain that way unless that belief is challenged to be different or added by another piece of information. To me, learning happens when there is a change.
The Essence of Letting Go
“Sometimes the stage of your life determines what kind of people you attract, and I think that’s the beauty of faith, God sends you the people you need at exactly the right time. He gives you the answers you were looking for through these people…
It’s just that sometimes we try to turn these temporary people into forever people, but that’s not their role.
The problem is we become frustrated when these people leave because we can’t let go. We don’t understand why God would take away something so beautiful … but if you look at it from the perspective that if these people overstayed their welcome, their beauty will fade away… it will all start making sense.
The essence of letting go is faith. Faith that this story is better left the way it is. It’s better left the way God wrote it. Maybe rewriting it will ruin the story. Maybe changing it will not give you a happy ending.
Rania Naim
An excerpt from
“There’s A Reason Why God Brings You Closer To Certain People And Then Lets Them Go“
Timing is everything. In the process of healing, there will be days when you will be certain you have already figured it out, that you are finally over it. Then, there will also be days when you will feel that everything was just yesterday, and you are back to square one. That sucks. In the end, that’s okay.
I remember how hard I prayed for things that I have now. Some of which would not have been possible without some people who turned out to be temporary in the end. It is only tonight that I realized how hard I mourned the loss of those people, when I can just be thankful for the blessings they brought. It is hard to ignore the grief, but a change of perspective can be helpful.
I do my part, but at the end of the day, God’s timing is everything. The very essence of letting go is faith in God’s timing. I have faith in all that He is and in all that He planned.
Isaiah 60:22 says, “When the Time Is Right, I the Lord, Will Make It Happen.”
KC
God Is the Strength of my Heart
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
“…. stand firm. Let nothing move you.” 1 Corinthians 15:58
“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:13
God is always with me, close by my side. He is the sustenance of my life. I always pray for His deliverance on what actions I should take, and I always pray for wisdom to see His answers. I pray for humility and maturity to be thankful for whatever that answer is. I always pray that He helps me to remain calm amidst any storm because I know His promises. I always hope that my faith is big enough to not be shaken by any fear.
However, God knows my faith can still be stretched to a greater extent. He knows how much I trust Him. He knows that I already learned the lesson of giving Him my yolk when my burdens are too heavy. He knows my heart, and He knows that He is the strength of it.
As a human and with all honesty, I am sometimes afraid of the upcoming tests. That is why I am thankful for 1 John 4:18. “Perfect love expels all fear.” This verse comforts me for it reminds me to practice my confidence in my faith and cast all fear in Him. I must rejoice in tribulations because these will make me closer to Him than ever. These will make me yearn for Him even more. I always pray for Him to strengthen my faith, but I also know that such prayer comes with a big price. I am prepared for He is my God. He teaches me and walks me through it. He has never abandoned me. When troubles come, I long for Him. He surrounds me with people I can share the pain with, but I still long to talk to Him like I have no one to talk to.
He is my answer to everything. He is my refuge. He invites me to come to Him whenever my heart is restless. Sometimes I don’t even need to call, for He is already meeting me halfway. He listens. He is my peace. When I wake up in the morning, my faith is God will be with me throughout the day. When I go to bed at night, I thank Him for all, and He casts all my pain and fear away. I just let my heart endure and expect for His glory. He gives the solutions as I sleep with my faith.
This verse speaks loud to me these days. Yes, I will wait as His best plans unfolds before my eyes.
I yearn to be a child worthy for my Father, unscathed of fear and full of love. My life is between my Lord and I. Everything is temporary. I call “everything else in between” as is His plan. Bad days are catalysts for His plans, while good days are reminders of His love.
I pray for wisdom to understand His words and see his deliverance wherever I am. I pray for protection of my heart. I thank my Father for simply allowing me to call for Him and to know deep within that I am heard after. God was never silent, sometimes I just cannot hear Him. He never dodged a prayer, but I sometimes fail to see if He already answered me. I am not a perfect child for I fail Him every day, but I am proud of my Father’s love for me.
I am comforted by the fact that you were just a dot in my line
All of your happy memories that you keep on reliving were points of maturity and ecstasy. Those were terrific moments in time and points of euphoria. I get it, but read that again. POINTS. Those were just POINTS. Mere dots on a L.I.N.E.
Your life is the line, and this line is continuous whether you like it or not. You are now past the dots. Yes, those dots defined the direction of your life at a certain point, but again, those were mere dots. Your line goes longer than that, and it has a long way to go. You are at a different point now, a different dot, another form of ecstasy, another memory.
GIF by Carlotta Notaro via Giphy.com. She has amazing content on her page.
Continue to draw your line with the dots you can possibly connect in your view, whatever view you have now. You might not see a lot, but I am sure you can see some dots to connect, some things to make sense of. Continue your life with all the dots right in front of you. DO NOT go back to a dot, do not step backward. Unless you want to make a circle, a cycle. A vicious cycle of returning to that ecstasy only to relearn that there’s really nothing waiting for you in there.
Pause if you must, but do not go back to that point in your life that has already served you well. You’re done with that. You have matured from it. You already had the ecstasy, so do not be tricked that it will be the same for you again. You have changed, so you cannot expect things to be the same if you plan to relive them.
There are hundreds of dots waiting for you to connect. These are the points in your life where you will meet with maturity, growth, and ecstasy again. Be excited about them. Until then, the amazing, blessed, and turning points in your life will simply remain good memories worthy of reminiscing. Just memories. Nothing more, nothing less.
Just How?
Want to hear some honest, pathetic questions?
How do you do it, where do you start?
When all of your being has become so dependent on your routine, how do you break it? When you are so addicted to the idea of love – being in love and being loved by someone, how do you tell yourself to function alone?
When you know his entirety but you barely know yourself, who are you at the end of the day?
How do you unlearn your patterns and make new ones?
When someone asks you how you are doing, do you tell the pathetic truth or not?
How do you explain the unknown?
How do you decide when all you have is uncertainty?
What is your threshold of pain?
How much pain is tolerable in today’s standards?
Is it okay to just file a sick leave and say your heart is broken? Would they understand, or would you be unprofessional for being so honest with the world?
Is it okay to say to someone that it is “no big deal?” Is it okay to overreact to this because yes, it is indeed a big deal?
When you do not know anymore, what do you look forward to?
Where do you find yourself?
When your heart knows all the answers, but it is not allowed to speak, where do you listen? What should you hear?
When your mind is dictating instructions, how do you follow when your heart is not following?
How do you go back to who you were when that person was long gone?
Can we speed up the process of becoming a “new you?”
Can we skip all these ugly, dark, and messed up parts?
Can we do it together?
The truth is I know the answers to all questions above, but I over romanticize the struggle. Guess what, it is indeed a struggle. This isn’t a piece of cake. I’m not going to sugarcoat it.
A Letter to my Future Self
I’d like you to read this 5 years from now – year 2025.
Dear me,
I sure hope you are doing great. No one else would wish your life to be at its best other than me.
How are you? Hey, don’t disappoint me – I’ll give you a bit of my expectations in a bit. I’m working hard right now, so things will be easier and better for you. I’m acknowledging and correcting my thoughts, so they won’t bother you anymore. I am sure that you are now more matured, so I’d expect that your worries now are new. I don’t want you to still think about the things now – as I said, I’m taking care of them already.
I hope that you are still with the company, or you are already in your dream country. I’m not sure yet, so this will depend on my decision next year. I also hope you’d continue on my business plan. You know, the plan. Things are still a little blurry, so please know that whatever I do, it is what I think is best for now. I always think what it is the best for you, so if things go south, please don’t blame me.
Do you already have a dog? I’m afraid to have one up to this day. If yes, name him or her Borky. If no, I understand that you still have second thoughts about having one.
Are you still writing on this blog? I’m okay if not, but I hope you are STILL writing, at least somewhere else. I hope you continue to write because this is how I know I’m in touch with my inner self. If you figured out another way to listen to your thoughts, great. If you’ve lost this connection, please go back.
Are you single? I’d like to be single for at least two years from now. Tell me, was it hard to keep this promise? If you’re 32 and single, I cannot predict why. Is your heart broken again? or is the single life the best life so far and you just don’t want to ruin it? I hope it is the latter. Wow, I’d like you to be single for 5 years. I can imagine how strong you will be to not need and want anyone.
Are you in a relationship? If you’re 32 now, I hope he is “the one.” Don’t worry, I’m praying that we will never waste our time again on wrong people. Continue my prayers.
I have a bucket list this year, and I’m half way on doing all of them. I know I’ll have 5 more lists in the next 5 years. Please continue to be true to your goals and dreams. At the same tine, I hope that you’d already learned to not be super disappointed when things do not go your way – our way. (By the way, the Japan or Australia trip is non-negotiable. It has to happen.)
I hope you are still with the choir – 13 years and counting now. I hope you are still with the youth office ministry. I hope you have stepped out of your comfort zone and made new friends in a different local. Above all, I hope God is still your strongest refuge.
I hope you are still with your family – complete and happy. I hope mommy and daddy are healthy, and your sisters are the happiest ever in their lives. I’m planning to take them on vacations twice a year, is that happening?
I hope you have already achieved and maintained your desired weight of 50 kgs, and that you are still doing an hour of exercise every day. Otherwise, I hope it is because you already have a baby and that goal will have to be parked. That’s the best excuse. I’ll take that.
I hope that you are now living your best life, at least the best that we can achieve. I’m doing my best for a better you, please don’t disappoint me.
GIF by Kim Campbell from Giphy.com
A Letter to my Present Self
Writing a letter to my past and present self was not hard. When it comes to you, I do not know where to start. It is always hard to be in the present, to be in reality. My mind can easily create a fantasy 5 years from now and relive how I would think 5 years ago, but to be in the now, facing reality is this hard. Here it goes.
Dear me,
How are you? Odd question, knowing I give you the positive pep talk every single day. Are you enjoying those? It’s the least I can do for you now. I love you, you know that. I’m doing my best to make the best out of you, in every situation we are in. I am so proud of you for almost everything. The best one is for making it this far. You aren’t just surviving, you are thriving. You put your heart in everything you do (and every person you meet). You always reap excellence, and you bask in that glory.
As you know, I am on a little bumpy road these past few months. Life has not been this difficult before. Thankfully, I am equipped with all that I need to make it past this and thrive harder.
I am broken, which means, I just discovered my new limit. Being broken means you are at your limit. I am quite confused, but I know one thing for sure. I know that the next thing to do is to push this limit. I’m doing my best. I’m thriving in pain, and I’m doing it in isolation. Aren’t you proud of me? No amount of books can teach the chemicals of my brain to just “brush it off,” so I’m doing the dirty work of digging deep within my emotions and fixing my mindset. It is hard, but nothing is really easy.
I wouldn’t change a thing about you because I know you are doing your best. You do what you do most of the time because you need to, not you want to. That is discipline. That is determination. That is courage. That is love.
I wouldn’t dare go to that topic – love. I know it is your weakness, but hear me, it is also your biggest asset. Please know that the depth of love that you give others only show how capable you are of deeply loving yourself. Whatever you give others – that’s yours. It reflects how much you love yourself. That’s great, that is how you are supposed to love. No limits. Just do me a little favor this time- please slow down. I am working on you. Let’s not dive into another relationship too soon, shall we?
Life’s tough, but I will never stop being kind to you. At the end of the day, all I have is you and God. Your resilience and faith make things possible, so thank you. You are at your strongest and wisest version because you are aware. You desire wisdom because you want to understand things, but some things are not meant to be understood. In this case, I slowly learn to just let things be. I give my yolk to God just as how He promised for those that are burdened.
You have all that you need, around you and within you. You are safe. You are loved.
GIF by waywardpencil from Giphy.com
A Letter to my Younger Self
If only you could read this 5 years ago – Year 2015.
Dear me,
How are you? Let me give you the answer – you are doing great. I know you NOW more than anyone else. I know the whys, the hows, the whats. I know everything about you.
First off, I want to thank you for doing your best in everything you do. You make things better for me now. Thanks for not being insane and for not ruining my life today. Thank you for being true to yourself. A lot of things are unfolding now because of the decisions you make, good or bad.
I would lie if I say I would not change anything about you. There are things I want you to change because they are hurting me now. Still, I cannot blame you. Every single action you make has an effect on me, but there are far greater things that happened because you are not sure. I like how things turned out to be. I like where I am now because of your uncertainties.
With that, I cannot pinpoint what it is that you have to change now. Do you really have to change anything? The chaos you made led me to this beautiful place. Difficult and painful, but nevertheless beautiful. This is where I should be because there’s a life lesson to learn here.
Regrets are the last thing I want to share to you because I have learned some things that I wish you knew. Again, I cannot blame you. You are doing your best already.
Just a few things, please know these. All the things you are going though right now? You have everything that you need to survive them. You have all the right people in your life to make it out. Don’t act like it is the end of the world, it is hard, but you have what you need.
Take all the pictures you can, you will want to see them someday. Please save them, don’t delete just because you are mad. Practice resilience. Eat everything you want – you’ll be on diet for the rest of your life. Always show up no matter what.
You will meet several people that will lead you to great things. You will meet a few that will hurt you big time. Your favorite people will be strangers 5 years from now. Yep, things can change in a snap. You will discover that you have many other talents. That you are destined for greater things. That you can learn almost anything you put your focus on.
You will take things for granted, but I get you. You will make more mistakes. I forgive you. You will learn how to leave people, and that people will leave you. You will learn that at the end of the day, you only have yourself. There are harder pills to swallow, so please learn as early as now.
You will do many things that will fascinate you for a few months, only to realize you are meant somewhere else. Yes, you are meant somewhere else. Don’t worry, just follow your heart. It will lead you to where I am now. I will welcome you. Actually, God will meet you halfway and lead you to me, to this older and wiser me.
I am sorry to tell you that things will only get more difficult than now. But I got this because you make things easier for me. You are learning already, so I do not have to learn them all today. Thank you.
GIF by Libby VanderPloeg from Giphy.com
Hiking for Beginners
Hiking can be daunting for beginners. It really is. We do not what is out there – snakes, mosquito bites, extreme heat and cold, hunger, tiredness. We are faced with lack of electricity and Internet or phone signal. We can be stripped off of basic comfort and convenience.
However, there’s also beauty in it. The serenity of the place and quietness of people we are with. We can almost hear our own heartbeat in silence. The view – cliche but it really is breathtaking. It is not every day that we see clouds on eye-level. The colors of nature are so aligned – almost like a color palette or template in Photoshop.
The excitement we get when we start the track, then that excitement turns to horror realizing we’re not even halfway after 2 hours of trekking, and we are already tired and hungry. Then, that horror turns again to excitement knowing the summit is almost there. Then, bliss. What can be more than feeling blissful? We feel so proud especially in the first 5 minutes of reaching the top and seeing where we came from down the mountain.
Things I learned in my first 5 hiking trips:
- Know the terrain – this is the basis of all the things you’ll bring and wear. If the mountain is rocky, bring gloves. If slippery and muddy, wear shoes with rough soles. If you’ll come across few rivers, just wear mountain sandals (the one with straps.) Whatever the season is, bring a cap or any bandana.
- Gear up lightly, but be prepared for the cold/rain – Best to bring a water-proof jacket or rain coat that won’t be to your disadvantage when the sun peaks up. Either just wear breathable long-sleeves, or make sure the jacket is light.
> jacket – as for me, even a jacket tied to my waist is very uncomfortable when trekking, I’d rather just leave it in the woods and forget about it.
> jewelries – could get lost, just wear a watch.
> bag – should also be the last thing we need to think about when both our hands are busy holding on to trees or rocks for balance. - Take advantage of the camping ground. As much as possible, bring yourself and food/water ONLY to the hike. For a day hike, best to set up a tent and leave all your things in there – I’m sure you can manage not seeing your phone in the next 8 hours of hike.
- Never forget to hydrate and eat properly before the hike, and bring enough water along with you even if it is heavy. Meanwhile, make sure you do # 1 and #2 before hiking, unless you want to do it while hiding in the plants (which isn’t a problem anyways).
- Food. Best snacks to bring are jellies and nuts. Best meals are fried stuff and rice. Water should be in disposable bottle instead of insulated ones (it is less heavier). Make sure your plastic bag for the trash is big enough and durable. Do not leave trash.
- Have enough SLEEP before the hike. Rest is not enough. Nature is crazy, it’ll drain every last bit of your energy.
- Be very careful where your hands go. Make sure to get a good grip on rocks to not lose balance. Some plants can be irritating to the skin. There can be a snake on a branch you’re about to hold on to.
- Be present in the NOW. Chitchat is good, but still appreciate the value of where you are in. Just like how you do it in meditation, best to enjoy the actual walk than being so excited to reach the summit. There’s beauty around. You have enough time to pause and simply immense yourself in the view. Listen to the birds and to the swaying of trees from the wind. This is a time to be with nature.
Why I Do Not Have any Social Media Account for Six Years Now
I hate using the pronoun “I” in my posts, I hate that “I” mentality. However, I have to use it now because this post does not apply to everyone, and I am not asking anyone to have the same beliefs as me.
A little back story. 8 years ago, I was devastated in my life and my only defense mechanism was to shut off from the world. I have been loving the serenity since then.
It took me 2 years to finally deactivate my Facebook account – not because it was hard, but because I just did not care about it. When I found a reason to log in again, it was the first thing I did – go to account settings and deactivate. It was the last time I ever knew my password – I did not take a look at my notifications, save any photos (I regret this), leave any good-bye post. I was 22, and I digitally buried my 22 year-old self.
First, I do not need it. I have nothing to lose even if I do not have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snap-chat, etc. I have all that I need in my life – in real life.
Second, I do not want it. I am not comfortable sharing many things about myself to people that know me, but don’t really know me. You know what I mean? I enjoy the privacy, the secrecy, the mystery,
Sure, it is helpful to grow businesses, inspire, and entertain. Still, there’s an underlying desire to seek validation, affirmation, acceptance, and understanding. That’s normal. These are human basic needs. It’s just that I am no longer a fan of doing that online – through likes, shares, and comments. Some people are so shallow, full of themselves, and toxic.
Back when I was still using Facebook:
- I found myself comparing my life to others.
- I found myself being happy in my day and then suddenly losing the energy as I log in and check my feed.
- I found myself having small, mindless talks to people because we were “bored.”
- I found myself staring at the number of likes in my photo and wondering if there will be more the next day.
- I found myself filtering my images because I thought I looked bad.
- I found myself unconsciously seeking for validation and for people to boost my self-esteem or confidence.
I WAS SO SHALLOW AND IMMATURE. It was just a bad experience, but maturity led me to a great realization. Here’s the truth – all the validation, acceptance, and affirmation should come from within. When I did not have any means of getting virtual likes, I started to seek them within myself and through real-time situations.
I still crave for approval, but I want to hear people say it personally instead. An example is when I cook something for someone, I look them in the eyes and see how they react on the first bite – that’s the type of approval I yearn for. I do not post my dish and wait for people to comment “yum.” What’s the point of that?
Without social media, I can still do things:
My truest of friends are still here. We meet and call each other regularly. They know my exact birthday and I know theirs. They know when I am not okay and when I’m joyful, and it’s not because they read it in my post. Yes, I am still with my high school and college buddies. No, I do not need to know what happened to the rest of our batch. (I may be apathetic, but I’m living my best social life.)
I still go out of town and out of the country. People never know, I do not need them to know. Only people close to me know what made me happy recently. I’m happy that only 3 of us know how we almost fought because we could not find a haunted house in Ocean Park in Hong Kong.
I still get invited to weddings, birthdays, and parties. In big life events, you invite people you love, not people you just know. People know me because I spend time with them.
I still meet people. I desire the real, unfiltered life over the virtual one. I prefer to talk to people in reality. To compliment them in person. To grieve with them in person. To realize they are not the same as they post they are.
I still hear people’s opinions. But only from those people that matter to me. I still argue, but in person. I respect that people want to share their thoughts, just like how I post here on this blog. I understand their political views and other things that they would post about. I still look for credible news to learn about what’s happening in today’s society. I try not to be ignorant.
At the end of the day, I am simply happy with my life without social media. I would give it another chance if I should. Right now, I don’t need it, I don’t want it. I am contented with life’s privacy and serenity.
Note to Self
Dear me, I know it is tough. Do not worry, you are doing great. God’s on it already. Just hustle hard and do what you are supposed to do. Grab your coffee and get going.
**Pinning this post to the top to remind myself every day**
How Life Coaching Can Help You
I hope you can consider life coaching as one of the ways to achieve holistic healing. This is in addition to prayers, exercise, prescribed medicine, and classic rest. Coaching is more on asking while mentoring is more on advising. Coaching allows you to see answers for yourself. It simply about processing your own thoughts. It is about being responsible for the way you think and feel about others and yourself. It is about the willingness to share your thoughts and allow someone to process them with you, not for you, without any judgement nor suggestions on how you are supposed to live your life. It is simply a help for you to discover WHY you have certain thoughts.
All your responses and reactions in anything are valid, they are rooted somewhere. Where are your thoughts coming from? Do they stem from childhood trauma or are they just because you woke up late this morning?
Our mind tricks us in many ways, and the way they are wired should be constantly checked if they still make us better people. Evil and negative thoughts can still seep in through the minds of the most prayerful ones. One of the things I learned is we can (and should) let go of negative thoughts and immediately replace them with positive ones.
It is normal that we come across these negative thoughts, but we have the responsibility to ourselves to correct them. Now, how will we know if we are still thinking correctly? By the way, we differ in our own “correct” standards.
We may base it on psychology and faith. We may choose either or both. Understanding cognitive distortion is one of the topics. Any person may have cognitive distortion at any given day as a response to a situation. Anyone can have one or multiple wrong mindsets as a reaction to a failed task at work, a dog barking, or a missed train.
Life is not easy, and we are not always on top of it no matter how hard we try. We can all use a little help through someone professional.
You’ll know you are with the right person when:
- That person is certified or somehow affiliated with a legit or official organization – I don’t believe anyone will aim for a license or undergo training if coaching is not their passion.
- That person is trustworthy – if you do not know each other personally, you can always do a little background check before you spill your darkest thoughts.
- That person is not judgmental – you need someone that will listen, and you will immediately know whether you are heard or not.
- That person is full of empathy, care, and compassion – just a person full of love in all its basic sense.
- That person is beaming with wisdom – there’s knowledge that can’t be found in books, only heard.
Personally, I am not limiting God’s capacity to hear me. This is actually His affirmation – that through people around me, I know I am heard. It’s a basic human need.
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A Letter to a Friend
38 Things I Learned After 10 Sessions of Life Coaching
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