Here is my first attempt at a query letter. Any suggestions or opinions are greatly appreciated. Here goes:
I would like to introduce you to my first novel entitled, The Harbor House.
In a small Pennsylvania town author, Alan Harbor, encounters his former love, Amanda; as he struggles with emerging feelings he is thrown into a battle with a sinister evil, one that would stop at nothing to keep her from divulging a terrible secret.
A good suspense novel contains not only a central conflict with the main character, but also several conflicts affecting all characters in a variety of different ways. I believe The Harbor House has this element. The story opens with Alan Harbor, struggling with writers block, attempting to write the next bestseller. A knock on his door reveals Amanda Heckler, a former girlfriend in shock, and in need of medical attention. Her relationship with a former love interest, Kevin, included the knowledge of his sick and evil pleasures. Along with the help of a police officer friend, Paul; Alan attempts to piece together the events that causes Amanda’s trauma. At her behest, they move into his family’s estate, The Harbor House, where not only do they expect to hide from Kevin’s evil, but must also confront Alan’s personal demons. Suddenly and without warning, Amanda disappears causing Alan and Paul to begin a frantic search before its too late. Once they find her, they must confront Kevin at the Harbor House, reaching a climax no one expects.
The Harbor House is a fast paced novel set in a small Pennsylvania town, a suspenseful story written against the backdrop of a calm community. Once a resident of the sleepy town, it always seemed to me like the perfect setting for a good thriller. Writing has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, poetry and short stories occupying most of my time. This is my first attempt at a novel.
As a young writer, I am looking for an agent with experience in the literary business. Someone who can guide me through the business, confusing as it may be, and get my writing read by others. Your credentials are impressive as well as your time in the industry. It would be my pleasure to share my business with you.
Thank you for taking the time to consider my request. I have included a brief synopsis for your review. The novel is 80,000 words and fully complete. It would be my pleasure to send you a copy of the manuscript. Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
L A Cruz
Anything missing?? Please help!
A Writer\'s Journal 
