When I visited my grandparents as a child they would always tune into the local radio station at noon to hear In Memoriam, the listing of recent deaths and upcoming funerals that the station included in their mid-day programming.
Funeral traditions in that time and place were pretty standardized. There was a template that almost everyone followed. I get the impression that’s no longer the case and that the things we did were more regional than we thought. A funeral was largely a public event not limited to close friends or family members. The death announcements were there so that everyone who knew the deceased or any of their family could participate. For the public, the first stage was a visitation. Usually held at a funeral home from two to four and seven to nine on a weekday shortly after the death, this event involves the close family of the deceased standing next to the coffin while other community members file through to pay their respects and offer their condolences.
The funeral would be the next day or perhaps a couple of days later, often in a church and nearly always open to the public. If someone young or well liked died they might need to find a bigger venue. Afterwards the hearse and family would form a procession to the cemetery for a shorter interment ceremony. There was all kinds of etiquette around funeral processions. They drove without lights or signals and other traffic was generally expected to pull over to allow the procession to pass. Afterwards, tea and cookies, or perhaps lunch.
The funeral traditions of Bethany in the second temple period are different from these and we only see a narrow glimpse of them here. There’s a tomb closed with a stone, a corpse wrapped in specialized grave clothes and a whole crowd of community members still around to marvel at what they are about to see and carry stories back to the centre of power.
I’ve heard at least one sermon suggesting that Jesus delayed to ensure that Lazarus would be dead when he arrived and enable this whole miracle. The math doesn’t math on that idea. The text here says that Jesus waited two days before setting off for Bethany, but also that Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days. Even if he had set out immediately, he would not have arrived in time and a several day long journey is not something that can be undertaken without preparation.
He’s not too late, not really. Not by the understanding of the time. He got a message and come as quickly as he could, arriving in time to comfort his friends during the first terrible week after their brother’s death.
When Lazarus’s sister chides him for not having been there I think it’s as much about the fact that he left at all. If he had been in Jerusalem he could have gotten a message and been at his friend’s bedside within a day or two. Why wasn’t he there? Why did he have to go so far?
There was the whole matter of the people who tried to stone him in the last chapter forcing him to relocate for his own safety. If he could just get along, keep his head down, not rock the boat, then he could have the kind of normal life where he could be there for his friends when they need him. Jesus isn’t just calling people to leave their homes and families to follow him. He’s living it and in this story he feels that cost and weeps.

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
John 11:32-33 Full Text John 11:1-45
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.








