Leigha Robbins – A picture, some words and a bit of harsh reality

Pleased To Meet You … Izumi

On this Caturday we see how I was ganged up on and convinced to say yes. My daughter had been asking for a cat for awhile and my husband’s cousin’s cat just had kittens. The were adorable… but is she ready for the responsibilities of a cat, can she help take care of him/her? She was 12 or 13 years old (and already as tall as me!); I can’t find anything that says when we actually got him in 2007, so it could have been before or after her birthday. I do remember my husband and her went to pick the kitten while I was at work that day. They asked about a couple and settled on a tuxedo (black and white) kitten they thought was a girl.

The little bitty thing came home and was waiting when I got home after work. My daughter was deeply into manga and anime at the time and decided to name her after a character she liked in the Fullmetal Alchemist book and anime series.

(These pictures were from one of my first phone camera – aka crappy! Sorry.)

She was so tiny and cute. We set up a time to take her into the vet to be fixed, even though she would be an indoor cat… they do sneak out sometimes. She had to have a good look over and see about when shots start.

Boy were our faces red! When we took her to the vet, we were told first of all that she was he. Oops! So now we had a boy Izumi, no worries just a different surgery needed so he would not become a dad.

Izumi grew to be a very playful cat. There were times though I saw a bit of a wild streak in him. My daughter would play and get him riled up. Then she was ready to stop, and he wasn’t, so there were a few scratches to be had. One day I will always remember though is when he was running from one window in the dining room to the front room window, probably chasing a squirrel outside. The problem was that my daughter had made some lunch herself and he was unaware of the bowl on the floor where she was sitting. He ran much FASTER after he unknowingly put a paw right in the middle of her hot bowl of ramen broth and noodles. He howled and I ran after to try and get that paw under cold water. I think it was her dad that caught him and we took him straight to the sink. We did take him to the vet, and he had a mild burn. No blistering, but the paw pads did dry and peel later. Poor kitty!

He was very curious when Stumpy came into the picture. No real animosity, but slow interactions. They grew to be pretty good brothers. He stayed with my husband when we divorced so each of my daughter’s houses, she stayed in had a cat. When my ex-husband passed away in 2014 the boys were reunited for a while, but our apartment limit was already full with Stumpy and the young Chevy and my daughter’s apartment didn’t allow pets. Izumi had bonded a bit with one of my daughter’s friends who had moved out west and it was arranged for her to take him home the next time she came home to visit. Unfortunately, in 2020 it was discovered he had developed kidney failure, a collapsed lung, and likely cancer. He died just a short time after she took him to the vet for diagnosis.

He was a good cat… he did have some strange places he liked to sit or lay in though. I miss his midnight runs, and 8 in the morning runs, and 2 in the afternoon runs… he did like running through the house, especially to chase critters outside he could watch in the windows. He was a special kitty and I miss him too.

For thirteen years he made the world a better place, especially when the LOL cat era first came to be (he liked joining in his own way… ok it was my idea but he didn’t seem to mind).

… my boyfriend’s response to the LOL cat picture. (Chevy is the DUI cat?)

Fandango’s Flashback Friday – What Year Is It?

It is Friday once again and I will wander through my archives to find something from the past on this day to share for this week’s FFF. I found this from March 13th in 2024. This was something that I saw as a very old problem that was barely getting better. And now I believe it has gotten worse for those “different.” Wake up people – their blood’s as red as yours and mine.

(Early AI did awful with numbers and words back then)

What Year Is It

Shadows and light battle for attention

As the daylight tries to brighten the dark room

It is a struggle seen day to day

One side against another

A war because of differences

It’s stupid in its basic form

We should respect each other

And embrace our differences

They make us unique

Instead many just hate and shame

My God people

This is 2024

It should make no difference

The color of our skin

The way we love

Who we see ourselves as

Or how we worship

We are all as

HUMAN

As those next to us

Monochrome Monday – Has Spring Sprung?

I guess the answer is still no… these were in a greenhouse. But the calendar says Friday March 20th, so it’s getting closer! That is less than two weeks, it will go by in a flash!

(un)Sunny Sunday – March 8th

*** Sorry for the late posting of this. I had things to deal with before I could schedule this yesterday, and the night just fell apart leaving me completely empty to do anything when it was time to wind down for the night. Let’s just say… even “family” can be vicious sometimes so, make boundaries and PROTECT the vulnerable! ***

We had severe storms here in the Midwest this week. And it is cloudy in my heart as well. A little bit of bounce back from the condition I was in last week, then things got worse. My brother-in-law has now stopped cancer treatments and gone into hospice care. He needs someone with him 24/7 and he can’t afford to hire helpers, so it is up to us to take shifts. His daughter will check into FMLA to take care of him when others can’t. But she had two shifts this weekend and we stepped in to do what we could. Unfortunately, all this brings the clouds back over to make this unSunny Sunday. So, I wrote a bit and will wait for the sun to peek out again. Do enjoy all the sun in your life… family is precious and life can be very hard sometimes, but clouds do part again.

Black Clouds Overhead

How long do storm clouds last

They hang around because of my past

They cover the joy with impending doom

When all I want to do is stay in my room

Another stressor has now arrived

My anxiety is starting to thrive

With death and sadness knocking on my door

I feel like I can’t take anymore

Someone I’ve called family is starting to die

I don’t know how to say good-bye

Hospice has come to take away pain

But nothing for us who shall remain

His daughter is struggling too

I have been there in those shoes

I hope she will not have to see

When he has ceased to be

The image of my father slipping away

Stays with me every single day

I grab my umbrella and anxiety pill

And wait for when sadness will happen to spill

They say we aren’t given more that we can take

So please make this easy for goodness sake

Let him pass peaceful in medicated sleep

Then we will all gather and silently weep

***

Today I hope I have brought a little light to the world; I ask you to do the same. Join me in posting something happy and upbeat, funny or serious but always sunny. It can be poems, stories (real or fiction), pictures, quotes or music. Let’s spread a little joy today. Encourage each other with a little positivity. If you want to spread that sunshine, give me a link in the comments and we can light up the world together. #SunnySunday

I encourage everyone to find any glimmer of sun shining this week and spread it to anyone you can. If you want to share your post (poem, stories, pictures, quotes or music) feel free to link here and be the light that brightens the world. Thank you! Want to step under my umbrella? I will share. ☔

Pleased To Meet You … Stumpy

I have shared my four furbabies who make my life wonderful. I have had others who have touched my life and heart. I will move back in time to share about them too, some get their own days, others when I was much younger will have shared or shorter posts. Today I am talking about the cat that held my heart. He was from a friend who was moving and could only take one pet with him, and he chose his white kitty. He wanted to know if I could take the cat in – his selling slogan, “He has three legs and he rolls!” His name was Stumpy.

He liked to hide behind the couch for a while.

He was a great little tuxedo cat with some kind of long hair mix in him. No idea how old he was when I got him, my friend didn’t know. I do know we had him for almost six wonderful years! He was born (we were told) with the cord around his back left leg and it had not developed in the womb. Therefor he just had a stump.

Why this rolling cat was so special to me, had a lot to do with my friend. He is the one person who noticed how I repeatedly went to lunch from work in a pretty good mood and then almost always came back pretty quiet and down. He talked to me about it and said maybe I was spending too much time helping out my parents at the time, which is where I would often go to lunch. My mom was pretty sick by then and frustrations about her lack of fight and more than once talking of wanting to end it all, did often bring me down. My friend mentioned trying to find a therapist to talk it out with and he really was responsible with me getting to therapy to get help with the anxiety and depression facing me all the stress in my life at the time.

It was about three months later when I went to work and a short time after I got there I was told of my mom’s death. My friend was there and the manager asked him to walk me to my car since I refused a ride to my parents’ house. He was worried about me and said to text him if I needed to talk. He was one of my best friends through all of this stress. I felt like he was my little brother supporting his big sister.

My friend checked in on me and talked to me a few times after work, he even made me laugh a few times at work that I hadn’t planned on. SO… when he offered me his cat I was touched. We brought Stumpy into our life on July 30^th, 2010. He was so scared at first but I kept petting and scratching him and he warmed pretty quickly. He was not as quick to accept my other cat at the time (we’ll talk about him next week) but eventually they became buddies.

“Stumpers” moved with me when I separated and began the divorce process with my husband (He kept the other cat). And adapted to the four locations I moved within the 6 years well and was my little shadow. He would ALWAYS talk to me every morning when I woke up and was getting ready for work. Just a sweetheart! He did well when we added the kitten Chevy into our apartment and they bonded so strongly. Chevy groomed him several times daily. And they were best sleep buddies.

I could go on and on about him, but sadly we had to say goodbye on June 15^th, 2016. We had just had him in for a vet visit and was told he was diabetic. So, we were given information on what food to give him and a scheduled appointment for a recheck. It was less than a week before he became so weak and couldn’t walk more than 3 steps without stopping for a break. My daughter came over and helped me take him to the emergency vet that night after he refused to even drink water or eat food, I brought to him.

The vet said he had diabetic ketoacidosis and was in very bad shape. He would have to be admitted and wired up in the hospital for several days at nearly $1000 a night, and there was no guarantee he would improve. I had to make a heart-breaking decision to say goodbye. I told you the story of how I got him, because it was a part of my pain that night. My “little brother,” after he moved, he had to change his schedule at work and then he just STOPPED returning emails or texts. Ghosted me with full silence. Saying goodbye to Stumpy was losing who I thought was a good friend all over again. I cried and felt horrible! It was the first cat I ever had to chose to live or die… an agonizing decision. I held him in my arms as the vet administered the sedative to get him ready for the euthanasia. It ripped my heart out when he suddenly went limp and heavy with “sleep”. I miss him still every day. I know Chevy was so lonely without him for weeks/months before she seemed to accept, he was not coming back home. It did bond me and Chevy closer needed support in our loss.

Sorry for such a long post. I actually cut it down some. He was such a special kitty. Thank goodness I have the pictures to cherish and so many good memories of him.

I Might Be A Bit Needy

I know people aren’t objects, so that is safe from deletion in this scenario – because with my depression and anxiety I really NEED people in my life. But objects, what is dear or vital to my survival? There are the obvious – food, shelter and clothing, but that is just boring so let me get to the real meat of the answer.

To have connection to the outside world, I have to have either a phone or computer (which are kind of one in the same these days). I would have to be able to write out emotions and things still… and I can communicate several ways through a computer. To make it portable and easy to type I would have to say a laptop for number one.

Now if you want to get technical, I will have to have the internet to connect to everyone on my laptop. I could use it for weather reports, reading and most especially music (something else I have to have but it is not an object either). So, number two would be a modem.

And this last one is a must. If I don’t have all my medications that I take my life would be a lot harder. There are medications for fibromyalgia and pain, anti-anxiety and depression, my allergies and high cholesterol. I don’t think I would die without them, but it would really impact my life in a negative way. So, that rounds out my three objects.

And there are cats (animal not an object) and two other things I would REALLY like to have still. My crafting supplies, which are a LOT of objects (stamps, punches, die cuts, specialty scissors, embossing folders and machine, papers, card blanks… you get the idea). This is kind of a “medication” that helps me calm some anxiety and brings a little joy to my day (as long as projects turn out ok). Of course, with my computer I could still do some creating with many apps available, but that means there is a base picture need. So, the other of these two is a camera. I love to hold moments forever with pictures of family, friends, pets, nature, etc.

I guess maybe with “5” objects needed, does that make me high maintenance? Am I a very needy person? Maybe. But I am ok with that. I have learned what is important to me and I will continue to try and put myself as a priority to be the best I can be. I guess looking at life this way I SHOULD be able to purge most other things in my house to downsize. So why can’t I part with all this STUFF? That is a post for another day.

Monochrome Monday – The Last Straw

Sunny Sunday – March 1st

“People go through periods when things are dark and cloudy, and they talk dark and cloudy.” – Robbie Robertson

It’s Sunday. This Sunday, although it is the start of a new month with new possibilities, it is cloudy in my mind. I thought about reposting a past Sunny Sunday blog for a Déjà vu this week, but no. There is not sun all the time. We have clouds with rain or snow. There are just days when the clouds stop the light from shining through. And that is where I am this week.

At first, I thought it was because of my upcoming mammogram on Wednesday. Even after more than twenty years past my dealings with breast cancer, I still fear my mammograms will come back as worrisome. But that was days ago and I got the letter saying I had no issues or concerns showing in the mammogram results. So, I am good for another year.

Yet, I am still in that shadowy place. The clouds still hang low and I still feel every piece of pain and fear that travels withing a hundred miles of me. From ailing family members to those who show no remorse or concern, I have been let down this week. And the unescapable news has relentlessly disturbed my phone with texts and alerts from one tragedy after another.

As March comes into view. I am preoccupied with another march. That is the sound of marching troops echoing in my head. I have never been in a war. I have never felt threated on my own soil. Then the end of February came with news of attacks and war, and I was wound so tight by then it about made me snap. Every half hour a new update told of attacks and deaths and more to come.

Minor irritants or inconveniences became huge issues for me to climb turning up my anger inside all week. I wanted to snap at every little thing, and I felt so much like I was alone against the world. And the nature of anxiety tends to tell you distortions of reality. It told me people didn’t care, I was a waste of everyone’s time and not worth a second thought. But I do know this dark cloud will not last. Reality will grow brighter and the sun will once again shine. Until then clouds will crowd the skies and darken the days because “into each life some rain must fall.”

The Rainy Day

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;

It rains, and the wind is never weary;

The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,

But at every gust the dead leaves fall,

And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;

It rains, and the wind is never weary;

My thoughts still cling to the mouldering past,

But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,

And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart, and cease repining;

Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;

Thy fate is the common fate of all,

Into each life some rain must fall,

Some days must be dark and dreary.

***

Pleased to Meet You – Jinx

It was a very unexpected addition. We added cat number four last October 15^th. He is the first for me – a pure black vision of loveliness. And at approximately 9 years old he really was in need of some love. A friend of mine who has stage four cancer recently split with his so-called girlfriend after a lot of things she did wrong (final straw, refusing to call 911 for him when he was having trouble breathing). She had pets but why I don’t really know, as she did not seem like an animal lover moving out and leaving behind both a dog and cat to fend for themselves while my friend was in the hospital for who knows how long. Family got the dog taken care of (unfortunately that was taking him to a local shelter – a no kill shelter, but still) but were still working on possible homes for the cat. My boyfriend said, “What about us?” I admit I was quite hesitant. Bringing a new cat into a home with three other established cats was going to be a struggle. I decided to give it a try though to keep him away from the overcrowded shelter.

First of all, he HATED the cage and car ride to our house. Howled the whole way there – luckily it was less than a 5-minute drive. We had arranged a home for him in my craft room until we could figure out a way to blend the four cats all together. He hid immediately just like Clive did, but in a controlled area he was a little easier to find. Got him to come out for some treats and a few pets, still pretty timid but pleased we had his cat bed there for him to sleep on.

Black kitties are hard to see, but his eye, nose and paws are back there.

By day two he was sitting on my lap and purring. He melted my heart in no time, and I was so worried it would not work out, and I would have to say goodbye. But we did some of the things the vet and experts suggested by having the food source in a place where they could smell each other but no visual contact. Traded floors a couple of times by shutting off the stairway and giving the three cats one floor and Jinx the other. Once the scent was linked to that floor, we traded to expose the new scents all around. Then the big day of introduction came almost a month later on November 19th when we finally just opened the stairway door and prayed it would not traumatize Jinx or cause any kind of an attack from anyone. Jinx hissed a lot, but no fighting. We kept them separated over night still (trading off who got to snuggle with me at bedtime with floor separation again. Once things had calmed down a bit with less hissing, we kept things rolling 24/7. And there are still a few struggles but for the most part after the doors were fully open there have only been a couple of scuffles that we broke up quickly and that hasn’t happened for some time now.

Chevy of course just tolerates Jinx. She probably gets along with Lewis the best, and Clive is still her nemesis. Lewis is such an easy-going cat, he is fine with any of the others and if they hiss at him, it is a very “whatever” response from him and he goes on with his day. There is a little tension between Clive and Jinx, but for the most part Jinx dominates that relationship. Jinx is sleeping in bed with me probably 90% of the time (I really think he got VERY LITTLE attention and love before) but he does let the others come in and pick a spot on the bed too with less and less hissing as time goes on. My fur babies mean the world to me. They are truly family and each an important part of my life as all the other cats I have known are.

What is next for Caturdays? Would you like to hear about the eleven other cats that have brightened my life over the years? I could continue with introductions, but some of those earlier cats I have very few pictures of. I have NO IDEA what happened to all the snapshots I took growing up. They must have been purged at some time and that makes me quite sad. Hope you have a purrfectly wonderful weekend!

Thunderous Thoughts – WDYS #329

***Image credit; Ryan Lansdown @ Pexels*** – for WDYS #329 prompt

I went with a poem for Sadje’s WDYS challenge. This image really summed up my mind at the time.

***

A storm is raging ahead or is it all in my mind

Will thunder drown out the buzzing in my head

Lighting flashes out harsh realities

I see what has been hidden in darkness

The deluge of rain should wash away the mess

But stubbornly it clings to every wrinkle of my brain

Is that a tornado in the distance with winds in chaos

Or just the constant rumination spinning my thoughts again

No matter the source of this raging storm – nature or mind

Hang onto hope and maybe peace will form a rainbow in the end

	Fandango on Fandango’s Flashback Fri…
	yassie on Fandango’s Flashback Fri…
	Sadje on (un)Sunny Sunday – March…
	Sadje on Monochrome Monday – Has…
	leigha66 on Monochrome Monday – Has…