Too much, too little, not enough time, too tired, but I am back on board!

Emett is 2. Colton is 9 months. They are both big boys! 

I love waking up and walking in to their room and finding this......

 They love each other. It's hilarious watching Emett talk to his baby bro in his "i'm a big boy & you are a baby, voice" He is soooo funny.

 Colty boy is pretty much in the 90% for everything his age @ 9 months. Height, weight, head, everything. He is our little TANK!!! A solid little boy. Yeah he is totally wearing 12-18 month clothing already. But doc says he isnt fat or like morbidly obese. He is just solid. & SUPER strong. He walks around the house in his walker with his bro Emett hanging on the backside of the walker and gets a free ride hahaha i have to post a video its hilarious bc its like no big deal to him!

 I have to find time for my Emett and make sure he knows he is very much appreciated and loved! He is the best big brother and little helper ever!!!

 Family night at Boondocks! Super fun!!!

 Cousin Mia came to visit for a week and we LOVED it!!! 

 Quick ROCK family photo shoot.

The reason I get out of bed in the morning!!! 

My goodness. Levi is the young mens/youth president in our new ward here in Layton and he is loving it! The boys love him and I see him growing in so many ways. I am working again only because I was going crazy being a stay-at-home mommy! 

Dont get me wrong... I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my boys, my family, and know that I am sooo truly blessed to be able to stay at home and not have to go to work because my hubby brings home the bacon! I KNOW! I also know that so many women wish they could be home more often with their children or wish they had a spouse to help out with the house duties or financial bills.... I NEVER for once take that for granted! I DO have he best life!

I am just not like the utah moms here! Not that Utah moms are bad at all. I associate utah moms with being SUPER MOMS! Like perfect. & DUH i know that's not possible. But you can be pretty dang close! 

Utah has the highest percentage of stay-at-home moms in the country! I know its b/c the LDS influence is so strong here and teaches family values above all else. Living within your means, honoring laws of the land, education, & ALL THINGS in moderation. We understand the importance of companionship & mother/father husband/wife roles in the family and how pertinent that knowledge is to success in the home. I am truly grateful to have been born and raised in the LDS church and to come from a family/culture that teaches and lives hard work, diligence & FAITH!

Let's be real here, being a full time mommy is WORK! Its the hardest work EVER! & I served a full time mission in a foreign country where i thought THAT was the hardest work ever. 

Where do I begin??? I just needed an outlet. I love working in the corporate world. Having a job to go to everyday helps me stay sane. Like i needed to see immediate results of my labors or something. Some women craft, blog, do artsy things, cook, bake, clean, organize, invest in DIY projects..... hmm well I would say almost ALL my utah friend moms do all of the above! haha. but for reals.

For me?? i need to work OUTSIDE of the home?? dont judge!!! i love doing all that home domestic stuff too!!!! but i feel like i needed something to change up my day!

I NEVER EVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS.... but here is the HONEST TRUTH....admitting it makes me feel better......

I was so tired of playdates at malls, shopping, going to the park, walking around shopping plazas, loading the car, buckling the kids in and out, strollers, cleaning, cooking, diapers, laundry, meal planning, budgeting, DYI projects, diaper changing oh wait i said that already, wake up, make breakfast, clean up, play, watch cartoons, read books, eat lunch, clean lunch mess, nap time, park, prepare dinner, clean up dinner mess, bathe kids, bed time stories, night night.... and then REPEAT!!!! ahhhhh i was going crazy!!!!!! I dont know why working again makes me a better mom, but it just does, so that's that!!!! It's almost like I have something to look forward to that doesnt involve typical "mommy duties". I mean I am the type that wont get dressed if I know I am not leaving the house. Like I will literally stay in my jammies all day and never see the sun if I have no reason to hahahaha LOSER!! good gosh. Anyway, So i just work like a few hours a day 4 days a week and its AWESOME!! plus thats more play money for mommy to shop for my boys!!! (and me of course) I am back on track and loving it! it took me a while to figure out that i needed that. My husband was so loving and understanding and everything fell into place with our work schedules. We have some debts that we are going to pay off tons quicker! & be completely debt free in like a year or 2!!! then start building a healthy savings. 

Oh man oh man i hope my utah friends dont read this and not want to hit me up to hang out on play dates!!!! NO NO NO thats not what i meant!! I LOVE those i was just tired of the same routine all day every day. & it was my own fault really! But now i am refreshed and over it! i just needed something to jolt me outta that weird funk! 

All good to go now! & please dont be offended!!! 

We all have goals, and certain tid bits in life that help refine us and dig deep to find ourselves. I wasnt going thru a mid life crisis i dont think haha. it was just a "WAKE UP and count your blessings, you idiot" moment. I DID have a melt down like 2 months after Colton was born... my goodness thats when the whole rut started. It was a faith promoting experience for sure! I am too tired to blog about it. 

I do love the new program to blog tho!! i think i will blog more often now that its more user friendly hahaha. yeah we'll see about that. 

Love my life. really i do!

Long Overdue.... Colton Levi Rock

My newest little love Colton Levi Rock

uh will i get like arrested for posting these pic since i pretty much jacked it from the Our365 website peeps who have photographers walk around the hospital trying to get a photo shoot with you & your newborn... & I am like seriously?? I was in the I-am-tired-too-many-visitors- i-have close-fam/friends-who-are-awesome-photographer-so-why-would-we-want-a stranger-taking-pictures-stop-coming-to-pester-me mood... hahaha and then i end up using these pics anyway.
oh well! here they are anyway lol

2 Days old here :)
Gosh i dont even have time for the entire longest birth story ever. I was healthy all the way up to 6 months. ran a little 5K @ 5 months. I was playing in a vball league & running to stay in shape and then BOOOM i got sick and gained all the lame weight back.
Had KIDNEY STONES @ 35 weeks pregnant!!! WHAT?! yeah you're tellin me!!! it was TERRIBLE! I would never wish it upon anyone! maybe on Casey Anthony... ok that was not very Christlike. sorry. (not really) but I thought i was in labor & wanted to punch Levi in the face when he was driving me to E.R. bc I was in so much pain & he doesnt run the freakin yellow light AND THEN he PASSES the dang hospital! i seriously thought i was going to die!!!! & while I am feeling like my life is about to end due to excruciating pain my husband wants drive like a blind foreigner! i was like pounding on the car door & all he did was laugh @ me, which instantly infuriates me more.... it is super hilarious looking back at the whole situation though haha.

We had 3 false alarms. 1st kidney stones. the other 2 were just heavy contractions from my body stressing from the kidney stones. I wasnt dilated enough so there wasnt much to do. 4th times the charm though. What sucks is baby was 75% effaced & I was @ a 4 cm but no contractions & again no pain. so we waited for 2 days. went back & had crazy contractions but this time baby was breached and the nurse could practically hold his foot through the birth canal. nonetheless we had to have an emergency C-Section which was a blessing bc the umbilical cord was wrapped around Colton's neck 3 times :( poor little guy. If we had tried to have him naturally it could have been a mess. The doc tried turning him multiple times but he kept turning back so we just did C-Section. NEVER AGAIN do I want that. Recover was MISERABLE!!! but oh so worth it having our little guy home and happy.

him and his little baby zits. is it weird that i think they are cute!?

happy & healthy

ok this pic is mine bc you obviously cant see the copyright logo but I love how Emett is so protective and loving to his little brother. That was the one thing we were so worried about. How Emett would react to having a new one in the house that demands just as much if not more of our attention... he is doing wonderfully! a little aggressive at times with the hugs and kisses, i dont think he realizes that his little brother is not indestructible. Its awesome watching him kiss him randomly or talk to him when they are alone and he thinks no one is listening. He says stuff like "here you have the baby truck bc I am a big boy" He always calls him "brudder" we tell him his name is Colton but he insists "no mommy its brudder!" if someone asks him what his baby brother's name is he says "Colton Wolton" so that has kinda become his nic-name for now :)

Emett boy & Colton wolton <3 bffs

I have a over thousand pics of these little guys & the past fam events from the end of summer, coaching, parties, bbq's, holidays etc, but lets get real here i suck at blogging & every time i want to upload a pic i find like 8 other pics & their associated stories i want to include which takes me even longer to sort through my thoughts and captions about what to say.

Goodness transitioning from 1 to 2 kids was quite the adjustment for me. I have heard that 3 kids is the magic number. Meaning, once you have the 3rd one then it doesnt matter if you have 3 or 10 kids.... geeeeze are you kidding?? That is an entire post alone so I wont even go there on my thoughts about that.
I started another journal for Colton and finished Emett's "First Year" journal. I have also been trying to keep up on my own journal for myself bc man after having the 2nd baby I NEED some ME TIME and a place to unload my thoughts an feelings.
I had a little "mommy melt down" which is again... another post but it brought me and my hubby closer together and snapped me into reality as well as humbled me to get back on track spiritually as well as physically & mentally.
nutshell version:

• overwhelming yet relaxing
  
• exhausting yet still driven
  
• always tired/sleepy/groggy but somehow had energy
  
• draining yet fulfilling
  
• unappreciated but knew I was loved
  
• depressed yet exhilarating & joyous

uh can we say BI-POLAR???!!! yeah thats what it felt like. I felt like I was battling some internal conflict with myself.
In the end I was just trying to do too much & be maintain a "super-mom" image but it just ate away at me. I am totally over it and have learned so much about myself and others.
We cant stretch ourselves too thin or run faster than that which we are able. all things in moderation. balance. in all things.
I am just so blessed to have an amazing life & a wonderful husband that loves unconditionally & helps with literally everything around the house and with the boys.

I had the longest chat with my older sister & she is always so amazing @ shedding light on different perspectives. It has been so hard for me to get to the gym & find some time for myself with the infant & and toddler, house work, cooking, callings, coaching, blah. I seriously wonder how our mothers did it with more than one child!!! I have such wonderful examples all around me. Some of which are reading this right now so I thank you for your love and support & fb posts & funny stories or comments or just the way you live your life. My sister shared a quote from Elder Faust which, for the life of me I cannot find & dont want to butcher it so I will just share in my own thoughts. but he talks about taking time for ourselves as an individual so that we can grow & be healthy and be better versions of ourselves so that we will have "more of ourselves & a better quality of ourselves to give to our loved ones". I cant help but think about my boys and my family. I want the best for them. I want to be energetic and active & healthy so that they have the best version of ME i can give in whatever aspect or regard they need at any given time. That is what motivates me to not only be a better person, mom, wife, sister, friend, neighbor but it depletes any doubts or laziness I am feeling & instills confidence & a burst of energy when i need it most. Because, in the end, its not really about me but always about them and how I can improve spiritually, mentally, physically for myself obviously, but more importantly for others.
We make much more of a difference than we know. That thought keeps me grounded.
My boys keep me moving. Its always nice to have something to live for. busy busy busy weeks ahead.... so here we go....
oh and btw he is 4 months now..... yeah i know its been forever!

Malia Turns 3! & summer Craziness in Rock Town...

Here I am with the bday girl Malia! This past weekend was too much fun.

Aunty loves you so much! love your face paint baby!

Leesh the party was a hit!

ok so here are some pics of our fun filled week in cali and some old shots when we had a photo shoot in the spring. i am so lazy to label them all, and its annoying how you type and then when you load the pics they dont post in order!!!! there has to be a way to fix that!!!!!!

Here are some pics of our awesome week & half in SoCal!

giving high 5's

i cant believe he will be 2 end of october and we will have baby #2 in less than 2 months!!

hahaha Diva moms... these kids were troopers.

Botanical Gardens in Long Beach

Always has to point out the birdees and make the noises.

Love my happy boy!

Mia sharing her bday present with emett and bought him a new build-a-bear!

waiting for mommy to finish her massage, thanks aunty lorah 4 watching him!

loving his candy Lei.

its a family/poly tradition to do money lei's for our family when we have graduations etc...

bathing the pets before we dress them and name them...

Ohana Wellness Center. Thanks mom for always hooking us up with full body massage every time we visit! Def a must when you are 8 months prego! like how I am using my son to hide my massive belly???

I just LOVE this one. watching Yo Gabba Gabba after a long play day at Mia's party... They look exhausted.

It was a Kailan theme! Leesh you did AMAZING with all the fun stuff for the kid it was a blast

There was a face painter! a balloon lady! a snow cone machine! this super fun jumper! a pinata! & tons of treats and food to keep the kids entertained. :O)

Mommy and the bday girl Mia... super cute face paint right???

yep leesha did cupcakes instead of a traditional bday cake... well mia had her own cake but the cakes were DELISH!!! great job sis!

Malia's gift table with all the goodies... and this aint even all of it, she deserves every single one!!!

BBQ Pool party with the cousins @ aunty's house.

Emett & his papa waiting to dig into the cupcakes.

Swim time BBQ with the cousins in Whittier @ Aunty Tauva's home.

Rae's graduation!!! Yep thats how we rolllll check out them leis... AND her money crown!!!

Seriously what will we do when she graduates high school and college?

& our amazing sign made out of Skittles and Starburst! yeeeeaaahhh

Good gracious where to begin! I was so tempted to just delete my blog since I am like never on here to update anything. I do most of my posting on FB bc its just easier. My sister Alisia convinced me that I need to take more time for myself and write and blog since we both know how therapeutic it can be, and it really is fun i just feel like it takes me FOREVER in a day and hours to upload the dang pics and organize it how i want. I havent yet mastered that, so i guess i have some work to do.

We went back home to Cali for a week and a half for my niece Malia's THIRD BDAY PARTY!!! can you believe it!!!! She is 3 and she is so grown. I pray all my kids turn out like her! So generous and loving. She for sure is not like most 3 year olds. Super smart, and loving, and shares literally everything. She talks like a 5 year old and can express herself very well. she loves dancing, but then again dude.... its in her blood! she will be an amazing dancer someday.

My Emett boy was spoiled rotten by his nana and papa and also his aunty Leesha. The kid never goes without. It was fun to watch but at the same time a little hard bc his nana & papa would let him do ANYTHING!! There was like NO DISCIPLINE, I would say one thing and nana would let him do the complete opposite just so he was happy....i was thinking to myself... where was all this free reign when i was growing up??? LOL shoooooot. i just told Levi we'd have to whip him back into shape once we got back to Utah. Seriously, my mom NEVER let me bite all the donuts in the donut box just so I knew which one I would like... what the??? for us it was.... eat what I give you or starve! hahaha (for reals though) I guess thats what grandparents are for! they spoil and we have to be the bad guys. Oh well it was loads of fun.

We also went camping with the Rock's. It would have been great if it weren't for a few hiccups...SO NOT FUN when you have a sick 1 year old almost 2... and even worse when he HATES sleeping in a tent. So yes... we were the annoying family with the screaming child all night that the entire camp site and whole wilderness couldnt get any rest BLAAAAH it was frustrating but a learning experience nonetheless.

hmmmm we bought the "pass of all passes" & have enjoyed the venues that come with the package deal, so we have been to Seven Peaks numerous times and my son is a fish!! definitely an island boy! loves the water and the outdoors, sports and nature. (except sleeping in feakin tent!!!!) There have been weddings galore and baby showers and blessing like every weekend it feels like.

I am coaching volleyball at the local high school down the street and LOVE IT!!! i loved playing college travel ball so this is like not even work for me, its almost unfair that i get paid to do it but hey... i"ll take it! summer camps have been awesome and keeping my 8 month prego self in shape! I feel so much healthier with this pregnancy than with the last.

I feel like this pregnancy flew by! Probable bc i have my little Emett keeping me on point and super busy. We are due end of September and its a BOY!!!! Emett will have a little brother! Sad though that i have like NO profile pics of me..... awwww sorry baby, but no worries i promise we will love you and spoil you just as we do emett! He will be such a great big "brudder" Emett talks to my belly and rubs mommies back to help me feel better when i am aching. its so tender.

Sneak Peak.... Emett & Mia's first photo shoot together!

Ok so we went to SoCal to visit my family for a week and a half and it was a BLAST!!!

I DID NOT want to come back home to Utah :(

It was our "spring break" since my sister who is a jr. in h.s. had her spring break for a week we decided to head on out to L.A. and have some fun.

Unfortunately ALL of my pictures are on my camera which we left at one of the restaurants we ate at and I had to send my sister back to get it. So my picture memories are all in Cali still on a dead camera and I have to wait for a few weeks to get them.

We did tons though and it was so fun. Some of the things we did that I will post about later:

• Grammy Museum
• Zoo
• John's Incredible Pizza Co.
• Farmers Market
• Redondo Beach Pier
• Japanese Garden in Long Beach
• Mia and Emett's AWESOME PHOTO SHOOT!!

And here are my babies!!!! Emett loves his cousin Malia!!! and when we came home he would randomly walk around the house calling out for her.... "miaaaaaa, miaaaaaa, mia, meeeeeeaaaaaahhhhh!" lol

She is going to be such and amazing big sister some day and i swear emett learns new phrases and words and so much around her. The kids these days are just SO BRILLIANT! Mia is only two and will be 3 end of July, and talking to her sometimes i forget she is so tiny and you fell like you are talking to a mini adult :) I pray my kids are as smart and loving and caring. It has everything to do with her wonderful parents.

I LOVE MY MIA GIRL!

My Emett boy and his GQ pose!

Gosh they grow so fast. He will be 18 months end of April and time for him to finally go to nursery. YAY! He is learning so quick and helps around the house. His favorite chore is helping daddy put the clean dishes away from the dish washer. He loves to vacuum and sweep too! I keep telling him not to worry bc he will have PLENTY of chores when he gets older so i hope he never grows out of it, but I'm sure the day will come.

He can finally say kang-koo (thank you) we have been working on that forever. He has been saying peez (please) since forever but we could never get him to say thanks!

I have been writing in his journal and its hard to keep up with all his new words I wish i could just have a camera follow him around everywhere to catch all the funny things he does. I cant wait to get him into sports since he LOVES packuh-baaal (basketball)

I am sure every mother can go on and on about how wonderful and amazing and cute and adorable their little ones are, but WHO CARES! It's all TRUE! hahaha

Honestly I am afraid for the next few months and i have been reading like crazy all these parenting magazines and church articles and general conference talks addressing parents and discipline etc. Emett is approaching his "terrible twos". Not all children go through this crazy phase but we are bracing ourselves. It will be learning experience nonetheless.

Patience. Patience. Humility. Paciencia. Courage. Diligence & more Patience!

It truly is amazing how much we can learn from our children and the purity and sweetness they bring into our home fresh from heaven.

They are so full of life and love, passion and curiosity. Courage and determination. Trust & obedience. Meek & humble. They challenge us for sure! Its not ALWAYS pretty. It is tiring and exhausting and some days mundane & repetitive. But i wouldnt have it any other way.... well maybe some days I would, but I wouldnt be a mom if that weren't true.

I tell levi everyday if I got just a penny for every time I cleaned up a toy or food off the floor we'd be millionaires!

I love my life, a million dollars or not, although that million would sure be nice, its cool I've got all I need!

We have some fun news and pictures to share so I'll be back soon!

Talk about an update....

Oh good heavens it has been super super crazy busy these last few months! i just realized that my life is going to be like this forever now with a son born the day before halloween.

I mean really though, the holidays are already busy as it is with family, parties, family-parties & shopping, the visitors, church activities, birthdays, vacations, & all the chaos that comes with it!

I started a little journal that I write to Emett about all his milestones and accomplishments. I have decided to write in it as often as I can about all the fun stuff and not so fun stuff and then give it to him on his 8th birthday where he will get a new journal too for his baptism and he can start a journal of his own :) I plan to do this with all my children & I know it will be insane trying to keep up with all 14 of them (haha inside joke, when i was like 16 i loved big families and wrote in my journal that i wanted to have 14 kids.... yeah that's changed! lol) but however many we have i promise to have little something special, a small record at least of our love and feelings for them on their 8th birthday! The Lord will help me with this goal. I know he will.

ok so before i just load up all the fun pics i think i will give the 411 and try me bestest to recap all that has happened!

My goodness where has the time gone? I cannot even believe that my little Emett boy is already ONE! i dont believe it! He started walking at 1 and saying waving bye bye and saying things like ball & book (baww & Boooo) @ about 10 months he points at everything and anything.

His first steps were 3 days after his first birthday. as soon as he figured out he could walk without mom or dad holding his hands he would literally try and take off running!!!

He will be 14 months the 30th of Feb 2011 (yes there are 30 days in feb!) and we still have 4 more months til he can go to nursery in church and boy we cant wait for that! he is so energetic and loves to play and interact with others. When we go on walks to the park or to the store he has to wave and say HI to all the strangers we pass and sometimes randomly will blow kisses hahaha it always makes them smile. He LOVES to read and play with balls or balloons. he is the light of my life.

Levi and I talk about expanding our family to 4 and get excited thinking about it but we'll see what happens.

It has been such a blessing to have my baby sister Alorah move in with us. She is a junior in h.s. and attends Clearfield High just down the street. she loves it, like for reals.... it was a huge adjustment for her but is doing great both academically and socially. It's wonderful having an live in nanny lol jk but she does carry her weight around here and its been fun trying learning how to raise a teen.... she is my little mini-me. We went to parent teacher conferences and all her teachers just looked at us funny bc Levi and I are so young to have a child her age yet Alorah looks JUST LIKE ME so they dont know what to think... one of her teachers finally just came out and was like "ok so please dont get offended but may I ask how old you two are?" hahaha to which my reply was "none taken, we are 26 and this is my baby sister.... so no i didn't have her when I was like 10" lol and we all laughed. It made more sense.

His bday was a success! we took some family shots, had Thanksgiving in Cali, Christmas in Highland, New Years at our new home in Clearfield, hit the slopes @ Snow Basin with my dad for the first time and my little Sis Alorah who moved in with us recently, and celebrated HEART DAY @ Red Lobster with our cousins the Hennessey's :)

Levi loves his new job and I love it too b/c I can stay home with emett, exercise, play and try my luck at learning new trades such as baking like my older sis Alisia or couponing like many of my friends, and reading tons. I have a list of things to keep me busy and look forward to going back to school by the fall of this year! wish me luck!

Here are some pictures....

His first pair of big boy jammies

fave store! Cracker Barrel

Love my Mia and Emett boy!

Lorah, daddy, Levi getting ready to hit up Snow Basin

outfit from uncle tini and aunty leesha

Love these two!

Emett and his cousin Owen Nofo

giving loves before going back to L.A. :(

All his goods from his bday party

his OnE YeAr party was a hit. tons of family, food, and fun.

Christmas 2010

Family photo shoot Oct 2010

Halloween Fam party 2010

Morning of his ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY!

His Cake Before......

His Cake Demolished!

I just let him have at it, and then realized how dumb that was after!!! my gosh, there was cake in places that didnt make any sense! cleaning it up was a chore. but i love this boy and had so much fun watching him just enjoy it and trying to share with everyone!

My life is a life truly blessed.