2025 Hello, Goodbye, Hello 2026

Jacob asked me the other night if I still keep a family blog and that he'd like to read it sometime. I have not been good at journal writing as of late, but I definitely want him to be able to read our family happenings through the years. So, were going to try to recap 2025 in one post...yikes. It was a really great year for our family. Especially after the bumpy end to 2024, it was needed. I was still trying to figure out my health stuff, which was figured out with the right doctors, supplements and blood phlebotomies. Once I started feeling well around February/March, we decided to go to Utah for the kids spring break. We spent a week there, playing in the snow in the mountains, sledding and enjoying the beauty that was around us. It was so fun to see the kids enjoying their first sled ride, making snowman and getting stuck knee deep in the cold stuff. We spent some time in park city sledding and checking out the winter Olympics museum. It was a great way to enjoy the break as a family. Since we're in the month of February, let's talk about how miss lily did this year. Lily turned 13, officially a teenager! She is such a wonderful girl. She is a deep thinker, deep lover of others and is just a light to those who know her. Teen years are tough for everyone, things change, the way we see things changes, but lily has handled all of it with wisdom. She's amazing. Even when she doesn't see it sometimes. She has a group of girlfriends she's really close to, so friends held high importance for her this year. She had her 7th and beginning of 8th grade year. She was in student council which she loved. Lily will deny it, but she loves school, especially the teachers who love her as well. She ran for student council publicity commissioner, her theme was 'don't be silly, vote for lily!' She dressed as the mad hatter and created the coolest poem and poster. And of course, she was voted by the students for the position. She has been having so much fun coming up with the posters for school events. She is still a true artist and is so talented. She makes amazing animation, I keep encouraging her to create a comic with her characters she creates. She played basketball and flag football for her school, but her main sport of choice is still weightlifting. She got best lifter at a Mountain South event and went to nationals in Colorado where she took home the overall gold medal as again a national champion, she also took home all silver medals in Florida for NAO finals and region records. I love how lifting has given her a sense of pride in her body and what she is capable of doing. She is known as the strong girl at school, and definitely intimidates the weak minded boys, which can be frustrating for her since boys at that age can be dumb. But, they have not dampened her stride to work hard at a sport she loves. She is an example to many and we are so proud of her hard work. She never demands any attention or time from us, which I have to be mindful of her often as I don't want her to ever feel left out or neglected. She has always just been so chill and calm! I love our girl so much! She truly is our heart. April and May were good, celebrated easter with some new traditions. However, according to Lily 'mom, we have way too many traditions, its crazy.' But Jacob and Nacho love them, so there. We began watching The Chosen as a family, which helped the kids a lot to know the savior a little more. We also had nightly discussions lighting the candles with the names of Christ. We also celebrated the Passover which the kids really enjoyed. Mothers day was in may, we spent it in Tucson so we could celebrate grammy's birthday. I have been doing more gardening and making food items from scratch (mayo, dressings, bread, teas, cleaners, etc...) it has become my new hobby and I’m always having fun working on a new project. It's amazing how many things we purchase at the store are actually so easy to make at home. It gives you a sense of independency. The kids finished 3rd and 7th grade. To celebrate, Mark and I did a local stay in Tempe away from the kids so they could have some time with their Grandma's . lol. It is always great to get away with Mark, we have lots of fun together. June and July were great months, mostly cause we are traveling and not having to stay in the crazy hot Arizona weather. We went to Utah to spend our month away, be with family and beautiful summer mountains. We went camping for the first time as a family. It was such a joy to be in the mountains of Utah, the amazing air and weather. we went hiking, hammocking and to the lake where the older kids did some diving into the cold lake. We felt one with nature and definitely plan to return to the mountains this summer 2026. I am stocking up on camping equipment! Mark and I and Lily went to Colorado for her National meet. We had a great time exploring Colorado Springs. Then we continued our time in Utah, enjoying nature, family, milkshakes/Daddy Doug’s and swimming. We got to celebrate the 4th there, which is always the best view from my sisters house. We love our summers in Utah so much! Since were in June, lets talk about our beautiful Jacob boo. Goodness I love this kid with all my soul. He had a bit of a struggle with 3rd grade. He gets pretty hard on himself if he is not meeting other peoples expectations, and he had a hard teacher this year. Not as gentle as previous years. He struggled with self worth, which was so hard to witness and try to help him with. Nothing hurts me more then seeing my children in pain. But, he grew a lot this year, and learned some very important lessons on where our worth lies. He knows now that he does not carry worth only if others see/recognize it. He always has worth! Heavenly father endowed him with it, and he can do all things with the savior by his side who will never leave him. He has always been our soft heart and bleeding soul. But we are learning we can do hard things. He turned 10 this year, we finished our last day of camping on his birthday, but had lots of fun going to sushi and nickel mania with family to play. He loves gaming, which we have been working on reducing, but it is hard in this day of tech. He loves to play Fortnite, ROBLOX and loves all things sonic the hedgehog. He still loves toys, and collecting them, as well as Legos! He wants to be a Lego engineer someday and is actually very talented at creating his own sets (he's into making mech suites for various characters and is creating a sonic world of his own). He is a smart kid, and loves to learn. He asks me none stop questions whenever he is around, sometimes i have to ask him to give my mind a break. He is my best bud, we still lay with each other in his bed at night to talk about cool info we found out in our day, and he'll come at me with more questions to which i use google. He is always looking for opportunities to make money, so he’s just like his daddy. He has begun doing weightlifting like lily and had his first competition in December. We look forward to him continuing competing in 2026.Jacob is the best son, loves me so much and I love to watch him grow. He is the soul of our family. The kids started 4th and 8th grade. The last year they will be at the same school together. Kind of a sad thought. Lily is in student council as the publicity commissioner. She loves participating in all the school stuff and is apart of the backstage crew for the schools play Annie Jr. Jacob had a change in teacher half way through the year, was pretty sad about it as he liked his assigned teacher, but was happy he is in the class with all his closest friends. Overall this half of the school year is going well. Nacho has started doing swim lessons and tumbling at a local gym teachers house, he made a lot of progress with swimming! previous he would not even place his face in the water from fear of drowning. Now he can hold his breath, which is a great start. With tumbling, he has so far learned to donkey kick and do a killer bridge. He also began playing soccer, and is actually pretty good at it. He scores lots of goals and even has a victory dance where he shoots into the air and does the '6-7' dance. Speaking of our cutie Nacho, he turned 4 this year in August. We went to fat cats to play lots of games and win tickets, he wanted Sushi and Ahi Poke for dinner, seafood is his favorites. Nacho loves to play sports and be active, he is the only one of our children who actually wants to jump on the trampoline. He still makes the funniest faces and can hardly ever give a real smile for pictures. He has so much personality. My favorite thing is waking up next to him each morning where we will cuddle until he says zombies are coming, to which he will make us hide under the covers (our cave) and collect our ammo(bombs, pillow launchers, binki launchers, pistols and atomic missiles) and then we pop out of the cave to defeat the zombies. We cannot leave the bed to go potty until all the zombies are defeated. He's the best! We saw the movie Elio during the summer and after he wanted us to call him 'Glordon'...that was short lived, now he's Nacho again. He has two imaginary friends named 'Clamy and Oysten'. It started when he was pretending to split apart my hands that looked like clams. I told him he killed the whole family of clams and I think he felt bad cause he said there were two survivors which are brothers and then began to call his hands in clam shape oysten and clamy. If I do not lie with him at night, he asks me to 'hold my hand so I can remember you.' MELTS MY HEART! He copies almost everything Jacob does and looks up to him so much. He asks frequently when Jacob will be home from school so they can play. They wrestle together (Jacob, often too rough), but he hardly ever cries about it when it's too rough, he just loves playing with his brother. Nacho is such a sweet heart, I call him the air that I breath because when I'm feeling overwhelmed I just have to stop, cuddle him and breath in his scent for me to feel calm. I am grateful for him everyday in our lives. End of July I went to Boise to celebrate the baby shower of my niece Ashlyn and great niece Hazel who was born in November. It was so fun to visit my brother Gary and his family, my mom and all but one of my siblings attended (daniel) and it was so nice to be just us. After Nacho's birthday in August, we took the kids to Oregon to visit the places I grew up around. I have been wanting to take the kids to Oregon, and southwest had some great deals on flights. So without thinking too much about it, I booked the flights and hotels on the coast and we had the best family vacation. The kids said the only place they are willing to move to is Portland. They loved it! We visited the Portland temple, my city of Tualatin, the parks around the area, I got to visit with my sweet high school bestie Megan and meet her beautiful family. We spent most of the time in Lincoln city, which was everything. I miss having the Oregon coast near by, that holds some of my best childhood memories and it was so amazing sharing it with the people I love most in the world. We spent lots of time on the beach looking for sea life (lots of jelly fish) climbing the rocks in Ocean side, eating ice cream at Tillamook creamery and eating crab rolls and chowder beachside in Newport. We ended our trip visiting the Columbia gorge, and multnomuah falls. All the nature, all the green crisp air, and our family is considering moving to Oregon someday...I wish. September Mark and I celebrated our 16 yr anniversary by going to Niagara Falls Canada and Palmyra, NY. We got to visit the sacred grove, which I had a spiritual council with Mark and had some answers to prayers of the heart. It was a very enlightening experience that I have been preparing for since last year. I won't share what it was about, but lets just say I will continue with faith believing in the things I cannot deny. Grateful for a husband who loves me enough to listen to my doubts with love and patience and help me make sense of all my feelings. We spent majority of the time in Canada, Niagara falls. So beautiful, nature and human ingenuity is so incredible. I am humbled by natures power and the effort that those who have come before us have sacrificed so we can have all we have. We had so much fun exploring Ontario and Niagara together. I love going away with Mark. It's hard to get quality time when you have children to care for 24/7 and a demanding job that pulls him aways from us months at a time. So when it gets to be just us, we are reminded of our close friendship. I know some people don't have the same relationship with their spouses' but Mark is truly my best friend. I am always so grateful for him in my life, he makes all things feel possible and helps me in ways no one else could. I love him so much and am so grateful for the beautiful life we've worked hard to create and always being each others friend and companion, even when we don't see eye to eye, even when we do things to annoy each other, even when things aren't perfect (which is most of the time) we still choose each other and fight for our love/friendship above everything. He's still my medicine after all these years. October, I had to make up for 2024's crappy experience, so we went Halloween everything! Lots of haunted houses, corn mazes, haunted goodies, lots of scary movies as a family, scary stories and time spent together making Halloween our favorite holiday season together. Costumes, Mark and Nacho were characters from Minecraft movie (mark: Garbage man Garrison, Nacho: Chicken Jockey) Lily was a circus ringmaster (she put together her own costume), Jacob was Player 456 from Squid Games and I was an old haggard witch and Galinda from Wicked with my sister who was elphaba. I used the Witch costume to create a Witches workshop/sodapop shop to lure in children at our ward trunk or treat. My theme was 'you’re my little soda pop shop' And I played the Soda pop song from Kpop demon hunters and gave the kids a hand crafted soda pop meant for me to feast on their souls. I won the medal for best trunk...I am very proud of this accomplishment. lol. Halloween really will always be my favorite holiday. November we had a great time with family, just the small Arizona group at our house for the holiday. Nice and quiet which was great as we got ready for the Christmas season. I love Christmas, but sometimes all the shopping/santa hype can damper the fun. So much to try and cram into one month of fun, it feels overwhelming. This year we had our shopping completed in November so we could just enjoy our holiday traditions and creating memories as a family through the season. I liked doing this. focusing more on creating memories then the need to buy and DO stuff. Next year I'd like to keep it minimal and just focus on time with each other. Anyways, it was a wonderful Christmas season. Lots of movie nights, treats, baking, looking at Christmas lights and singing Christmas carols in the car. We went to schnepf farms the 23rd, I think this will need to be a repeated tradition each year as it was everything we needed this season. Also our tradition to go to the giving machine downtown gilbert, donate and then oreganos with the kids will also need to continue. As the kids get older, we are trying to narrow down the traditions that are meaningful to them. Nacho is at an age that is so fun, and he is understanding all the hype. You can tell it makes it more fun for the older two. Jacob was all talk with Santa when we went to Schnepf to visit him, I love that he is still my little guy, pure in every way. Grateful for these moments of them being little and excited about the magic of Christmas time, but also seeing how the season is evolving for lily, who appreciates the traditions and how spending time with family is everything. Christmas day we went to Tucson where we stayed while Mark was on a golf trip with his Uncle Kevin and cousins. We were lucky to have all of my siblings join us at my moms (except David who we missed by one day). ringing in the new year with my family and loved ones was the best way to wrap up a fantastic year. 2025, you were oh so good to us. Hopeful for a happy 2025.

The Rest of 2024 Aug-Dec

I always forget to journal...so here we go, two months into 2025. August-- We celebrated the 3rd birhtday of our beautiful, funny and oh so smart Jonah Ignacio (aka. Nacho). Good heavens do we love this boy. He is the master of all funny faces. Such a goof ball and loves his family so much. He does a good job of keeping up with his older siblings, I think he thinks there are no age gaps inbetween them. He loves cars, monster trucks, sharks, going to the trampolin park and pretty much finding an interest in anything his brother likes. He loves to wrestle him, even if someone ends up getting hurt almost every time. For his birthday when we asked him what he wanted, he'd say 'a hulk smash cake', so that is what he got and he was so excited about it. He is more caucious then his brother, he's alot like lily was at his age. He gets scared to climb up the playground and go down the slide, which is nice cause I don't have to worry as much but at the same time we are working on having a little more bravery. He loves to play street fighter, and is actually really good at it. He can also suprisingly play Roblox really well too...but we're not sure how proud of the we are. He sometimes struggles to smile on comand, but it always provides the funniest smiles. He makes us laugh so hard with the things he says, mostly cause they are so smart and quick whitted we can't believe it is coming out of a three year old. For his birthday we went to the trampolin park, had pizza and partied with family. He is the air that I breath, we love him beyond words and that love for him increases everyday. So very grateful he is apart of our forever family.

Then at the end of the month, Mark and I went to Hawaii for the first time to celebrate our 15 year anniversary. We stayed in Oahu, Waikki to be exact. The hotel we stayed in was right along the beach, so we had easy access to it's beautiful warm blue waters. It was magical. We took a bus tour the first day to see some of the major sites, so we could get an idea of the sites we wanted to see the rest of our week. We visited a beautiful cemetary that has a buddhist monistary. It was so breathtaking how much folliage is everywhere! We went to a Macadamia nut farm and got all the samples we wanted, so delicious and drank from coconuts. We then went to a waterfall, a small hike, but had the chance to swim in the Waterfalls water. I almost didn't take the chance, out of shyness of being in my bathing suit in fornt of all those people, but how could I not swim in a Hawaiian Waterfall?! I am so happy I did, cause it was a dream. We visited the dole plantaion, which I'd probably never visit again, but had to visit. First day was great! We visited Pearl Harbor, which felt somber. War is just the ugly side of humanity. So sad to lose all those lives, and you felt such a sad feeling knowing that their bodies were not retrieved from the USS AZ. Amazing stories to listen to, but a dark history. We spent lots of time at the beach, which is really all I wanted to do. The water is so amazing and made my soul feel peaceful. I loved actually being able to swim in the ocean. We visited the Polynesian culteral center, and the shows, village visits and people were so beautiful. We learned so much about their culters and I love how Hawaii is a mix of all of the islands that came together, bringing their plants, traditions and people across the seas. It is a perfect mix of all of their beauty and kindness. love all that we learned there, probally one of my favorite parts of the trip. We ate Malasadas at Leonards, Poke from a few food trucks, Loco Moco from Rainbow drive thru, and lots of Shaved ice from Matsumotos in North Shore and Ululanis in Waikiki. We rented a car and spent a whole day exploring north shore. We went to Shark cove, to look at fish in the tide pools which was so cool. It was raining a little, and felt so calm floating in the tide pools together. My mind drifts to that peaceful memory, looking towards the green lucious island as we floated in the tide pools warm water and listend to the gentle fall of the rain...sigh. We spent time basking at the beach, swimming in the water eating Poke and Sushi under the palm trees. We visited Turtle beach and watched the Sea Turtles on the beach and then return to the Ocean in time to watch the beautiful sunset over the ocean on our last in Hawaii. This was truly a dream vacation. I love traveling with Mark, we have so much fun adventuring together. Can't wait to visit more dreamy places with him in the years to come.

September-- We celebrated Marks 38th birthday and our 15 year anniversary. October-- This is usually my favorite month. We prepare for Halloween, the weather is getting cooler and we know the best of the holiday season is on its way. This year felt a little different. I had been having some dizzy spells, major fatigue after working out and panic attacks off and on since June, usually following intense workouts at the gym. I had been minimizing my effort at the gym just to be safe, and seemed to be having them less often. Told my doctors about them, the gyno gave me hormone replacement therapy without testing my hormones first and my pcp perscribed me an antidepressent and said all my labs looked fine. So the first week of October, I decided to push hard in a rowing squat workout (which I killed at), but on the drive home I got extremely dizzy and tired. I tried to pick up lily from lifting but on the way home I could not complete the drive and Mark had to pick us up (actually the third time he's had to do this). When I got home I was so exahusted that I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I have never felt fatigue like that before. I slept for three days straight, only getting up to use the restroom. I decided to take the HRT perscribed by my gyno, and it made my panic increase, I felt like I would burst out of my body from the anxiety I was feeling. I remember Mark dropped Lily and I off at Barnes and Noble to meet some friends and feeling so nervous, like I wanted to cry in fear because Mark was not there and we were all alone. I did not feel like myself, it was a very strange feeling. The next day my heart rate while sleeping went from 45 to 135 within seconds, shooting me out of bed like a rocket. I went to the emergency room becuase I thought I was having a heart attack. They checked my heart, all labs came out healthy. I went home and decided I should take the antidepressent med becuase maybe I'm just having more severe Panic attacks (which I've always had sporadicly thru my life). Still fighting extreme fatigue, brain fog and diziness, I spent most of my time sleeping in bed. Mark had to work from home to watch the kids and do all the things I did not have the energy to do...it was hell. One morining, I switched sleeping sides in bed and my heartrate jumped all the way to 165! I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest! We went to the emergency room (again). This time felt a little different as I also had tingling on my left side and face. So they did a stroke alert which was terrifying cause they have an alarm going off in the ER and everyone is looking at you. They did a CT and MRI, blood work, EKG and everything was healthy. Sometime in the days following, I had another visit to the ER cause It thought I was dying and everything came out clean, again. I felt like I was losing my mind. Very scary, dibilitating, embarrasing and made me feel completely helpless. I also felt like a huge burden to my poor husband who had to work, and do everything else in the home while I stayed in my bed, just hoping my heart rate would stay normal. Everytime I would get up to do something, like shower or go to the bathroom, my HR would escalte over 130, I'd get dizzy and need to sit down quickly. I was constantly checking my heart rate, taking my blood pressure and even bought a glucose meter to make sure I wasn't diabetic. Mark was wonderful caring for everything, never complaining and making sure the kids did not miss out of activities and fun Halloween stuff. I got lots of pictures and texts from him when they'd go out, so I could see they were having fun, but all I could do was cry and ask Heaven to heal me. I remember praying one afternoon (as I usually did) after reading about Christ healing the Nephites when he visited after his death. I cried and pleaded for him to help me. Repeatedly I pleaded 'help me please'. Finely I stopped speaking in order to listen. The reponse? 'Trust the body I created for you, trust my grand design.' Then I started to sing a tune, 'everything is gonna be alright, no matter what your going thru, no matter what I put you thru, everything is going to be alright.' I felt peace in that momment, took a shower, walked out to the TV room and waited for my family to come home. After that day, I visited a Naturpath MD and a Cardiologist. My Naturpath has made all the difference. She is such a wonderful doctor, never once made me feel like this was all in my head. We found that my estogen was way higher then it ever should be. My adrenals are barely functioning normal, I have high cortisol and thru her and an amazing hematologist, I also have Genetic Hemachromatosis which I'd never heard of before! So all these things, have been making my body feel wacky. I've been taking proper supplements to assist in bringing these hormones to level and had a phlebotomy two weeks ago for the hemochromatosis. The Cardiologist visit was great too cause it gave me peace of mind. Everything about my heart is healthy after doing all the test available. I also had a sleep study, no sleep apnea (never thought I did, that was my PCP's theory). So at least I know. Since meeting with my NMD, I have been feeling better. It's taken till now for me to feel like I am going back to my normal, I can drive again which is great, and I don't panic everytime Mark leaves me with the kids alone. I have also taken on a love for meditation and do this daily. I have had some very touching spiritual experiences while doing guided meditation, and feel that everyone should do this daily practice. I have learned a lot of life changing lessons from all of this. The lord asked me to trust his design, trust the body he created for me. I have always felt such seperation from my body and my spirit becuase my body is not what i'd like it to be superficially. I have been so focused on changing it to look more appealing with intense exercise, diets and talking to myself in such a way that is abusive. My poor body has endured so much stress and hate, I feel shame for the way I've treated it. I needed to learn love and acceptance, respect and gratitude for this body, which is tied to me forever. My spirit and body are one, they always have been. The lord loves our bodies so much that he wants us to be reserrectd and reunited with them in the end. They are important. Just as important as my spirit. Each morning, I have been telling my body how grateful I am that we try to do our best everyday. And how much I love our team. It has been very healing for me. I have also learned to be grateful for my community of friends, for those who checked up on me when they noticed i'd dissapeard because I didn't want to burden them with my issues. They showed up, checked in and showered me with their love and concern. I am learning to be a better friend becuase of them. I also have an increased love for my family. My mom who drove her little 71 year old self each week to releave Mark and to care for me. I have such an amazing mom, having her with me always made me feel better. My sweet kids who'd come and lay next to me to tell me stories of their days and just cuddle with me so I didn't feel alone. My amazing husband, who this past year I'd neglected in so many ways, he never faultered in his love for me. He did everything! And never complained, in fact, he found his love for cooking and made the best meals ever, earing him the best cook in the house award. So many things in my life that I took for granted, this experience magnifyed them and taught me to be more grateful and be more for others as well. My love for the savior increased and my heavenly father never left my side. I have taken more of an interest in knowing them, and the gospel of Christ that I have just idly been participating in. I truly want to be a disciple of truth and light, and to be more of a reflection of who Jesus Christ is and was. It's amazing how hard things can increase your faith. Christ has shown me thru this experience, how I have been doubting myself, that I haven't been trusting my capability to follow him and know that he will help lift me in my trials. I read a quote, 'Faith and fear both require you to believe in something you do not know is real, which one will you choose?' I have been fearing so much, and have not chosen faith. I am learning to replace my fear with faith/Trust. I was pondering on Peter walking on the water to Christ, when he falls into the water, Christ says to him 'Ye of little faith, why did thou doubt?' I always assumed that Peter had lost his faith in Christ. However I have been thinking about this and reflecting on my recent experience. Peter had faith in Christ, that is why he set out onto the water towards Christ, maybe the reason he fell is that he doubted his own ability to follow Christ. He took his eyes off him and doubted himself capable of walking on the water. Had he kept his eyes on Christ, he would have relied on his trust in him and not only on what he was capable of doing. With heavenly help, we are stronger. This, I am learning. So, that all was long, but I wanted to document my experience before I get to feeling too good and forget my history. I do not want to forget my trial of 2024. The kids did end up having a fun Halloween, Lily dressed up with her friends as Sigma from bungo and the stray dogs (an anemea show she's never watched), Jacob was Deadpool (also a show he's never watched) and Nacho was Darth Vader (I was supposed to be Palpatin...but oh well) and Mark was Mike Myers which is now a tradition. We also very sadly had to say goodbye to our sweet Aunt Teresa. She had been struggling for a few years with dying lungs due to valley fever. She was a tiny, strong and serviceful woman. We love her very much and will miss her thoughtfulness. After she passed, I was trying to locate all the pictures I had of her. I couldn't find very many of just her, but so many of her in the background, showing up and helping out at family events and get togethers. She was not one to demand attention, but she was always the one to help to make others feel loved. She was an amazing person. We visited her one last time back in August, feeling that this might be the last time. Hopeful that it wouldn't be. Jacob was actually the one who asked to visit her, he has had the hardest time with her passing, he cared for her very much. We used to laugh about how Aunt T would live forever because she had so much energy! She could chase and play with Lily and Jacob for hours. I will miss baking her apple pie, her sending me texts around Christmas time for our Christmas list and checking in to see how we are doing. Sometimes it'll hit me in the day that she is no longer with us, and it makes me feel so sad how sometimes life can seem so unfair. She fought hard to live and did not want to go. When she first got ill years ago, we thought she wouldn't make it. She however fought hard and managed to live two years longer, even leaving the hospital to live on her own. She was a fighter to the very end. We love you Aunt T, we miss you but know you are with your sweet Roger and we'll have lots to talk about when we see eachother again. So grateful for forever families.

Novemeber-- I was still in my funk of health, so our plans to go to Utah were ruiend. My sister suprised me one night by showing up at our front door the week before Thanksgiving! She last minute decided to drive with Ben to see me. It ofcourse made me cry. We meditated together, she went out with the kids and of course we talked alot. I have such an amazing sister, she is everything I wish to be. She is so full of love and light, never second guesses herself and lives with such passion. Truly the best. Thanksgiving was wonderful, I was actually able to cook the dinner and Mark bought a smoker for our turkey, which was the best Turkey we'd ever eaten. My brother Gary also came to our house which was so wonderful to be with him. We always have such insightful conversations together and Mark likes to have a Golf partner. It was so fun to host Thanksgiving at our house. December-- I was feeling loads better after getting onto the proper supplements, I was even able to go to Lilys NAO finals in Tucson! We had so much fun cheering her on as she swept gold in each of her lifts, 6 for 6 compleation! She is so strong, and is always having a blast at every meet. The announcer even said 'If there was an award for the happiest lifter, you'd earn it.' Christmas time was full of fun. We visited lots of christmas light displays, did all the traditional sunday christmas movie nights and started watching the Chosen together each sunday as a family, which we love that show. The boys really enjoyed all the crazy things the elves did (tricky, candy cane and snoop dog). Lily is getting older, therefore was not as in to it. It was kind of a weird transition year for her, growing up while still wanting to be a child is hard. Poor sweetie. Christmas eve we did the traditional tamales/empanadas dinner with family and then Christmas day Santa came and got them everything they wanted. Lily got a bike so she can have more freedom to go around the neighborhood, Jacob a Scooter and Nacho a bike as well. These kids got the message they need to play outside more. We went to Tucson Christmas day to spend with the moms and stayed at my moms house for a week while Mark golfed in Mesquite with Uncle Kevin, Carlos and Juliean. We had a wonderful Christmas! New Years eve my Dad came to visit, which it was nice to spend time with him since we only see him once a year now. Overall we had a wonderful holiday season, and a good end to 2024.

Half of 2024 Jan-July

I am going to turn this into a biannual journal, soely becasue I forget, but also because I don't want to forget all these precious memories! I am having a harder time remembering Lily and Jacob as little babies as they are getting older, but it's been so nice to look back on this blog to read and remember my little sweeties. Nacho is turning 3 soon and has grown so much! I'll make a seperate post about him. But I'm sad I haven't documented all his development and sweet momments of him as a baby. Time to repent and do better! So far this year has been good, interesting and eduring. Lily is growing older, total tween. She's now a 'woman' as far as physical developlment goes. Someday she'll kill me for this, but she started her period in January and was totally pumped about it, shouting from the bathroom 'guess who started their period???!!!' My world spun, how could my baby girl be starting her period at 11?! I was not prepared for this, and yes I cried but not for her to see. I quickly ran to the store to get her supplies as well as ice cream to celebrate womanhood. lol. Since then it has been interesting teaching her all the things surrounding puberty. She is still a child, but not at the same time...it's too weird. She turned 12 in february and everything feels lik it has sped up. She as a group of girlfriends from school who seem to be the most important people in the world to her. She had her very first sleepover with them for her birthday. Those girls are crazy, loud and and totally Lily's kid of people. total of 9 tween girls slept over, I did not sleep. She started young womens in church, no longer in primary. She enjoys young womans and I can see those little bits of spiritual growth as she strengthens her foundation and develops a testimony of her own. We have lots of talks about faith, resisting things that get in the way of our spiritual growth and how the lord can be a source for peace. I hope that as her road gets harder, she remembers the discussions we have and gets closer to her father in heaven. She completed 6th grade, she is a smart dedicated girl. She got excellent grades and we are always so proud of her. She still wants to be an astronomer someday. But she also is obsessed with art and illustration which she does on her free time. She is an incredible artisit and I can't wait to see how far she develops those skills. She did a couple speech competitions with the RISE program, it amamzes me how she is not afraid to do things that most kids would be too intimidated to do! She does not back down froma challenge. She joined the girls flag football team at school, and they got 2nd place in their final championship. She is still competeing in weighlifting competetions, getting a gold medal in the Arizona Championship for 64kg group. We took her to Nationals in June in Pittsburgh PA where she got 3rd place medal out of 10 other girls. She was the youngest (barely 12 and all others 13 close to 14yrs old) and she was the smallest in the 64+kg group. She got 5/6 of her lifts and was smiling the entire time. She has a total blast at these competitions and says that she gets nervous but it turns to excitement and adrenaline to make her lifts. She is so fun to watch, and i hope she continues to enjoy lifting. Mark and I also got to take her on a little trip before nationals to Washington DC. It was really cool to go to the smithsonioan museums, black history museum and see all the monuments together. That one on one time with our girl was so special. She's not used to getting the attention since her little brothers are always so needey for it, she usually hangs out in the background, never asking for anything from us. She does does what she knows needs to be accomplished and takes what she recieves. so it was so wonderful to shower her with our love and praise. She is truly a special light in this dark world. I've always felt that way about lily. She stands out in the crowd (not just becuase of her curly hair) but because she is who she is. Never trying to fit into the mold of what everyone else wants her to be, never making herself small to please others. She is always smiling, thinking her funny and creative thoughts, which she will gladly tell you if you give her a chance. She went to girls campl this year (loved it) and it was so cool to hear from various leaders how lily is such a kind, thoughtful and helpful person. Anytime someone was sad, there was lily giving them a hug and trying to make them smile. She is never fake, 100 percent genuine to who she is and does not care if someone does not like her. I LOVE HER! She is everything I want to be in life and it just comes natural to her. She has started 7th grade, Junior high, and we have lots of discussions about how her world around her seems to be changing. People she's grown with are changing and it's hard for her. I see the shift from child to teen in her eyes and i'm hating the sadness i see in her. But one thing we always try to remind her, be who you are always, be the light in the darkness for good not matter who rejects you or if you end up alone at times. I love my girl so incredibly much and I know she will be a source for good in this world.

Mr. Jacob. My lego, fornite, xbox obsessed kiddo. He turned 9 in June, and He loves attention the most out of all of the three kids. Always needes his family to listen to his stories, give him love and do things for him (which we are working on this year to be better at doing things for ourself) But he is also my most empathetic and kind hearted child. This kid can tell when someone is sad without them even saying anything. And he is the first one to give someone a needed hug or tell them that he loves/appreciates them. He is truly beautiful. I often think that when I look at him, what a beautiful boy he is. His heart is full of love for others. He loves his family feircley, and is always there for us. And he loves all his many friends (honestly everyone is his best friend) Recently a friend of his lost his father suddenly to colon cancer. He did lots of praying for his friend and family asking heavenly father to help cure his father of cancer. When i told him that his friends dad was going on hospice and almost likely would die soon, he had a good long cry about it, because he didn't want his friend to suffer in this way. He was confused that he had been pryaing hard to help his friends dad, but he was uncurable. It was a good opportunity for us to discuss the power of the attonment and the ablilty that his friend has to be with his dad forever. That this is not the end, and they will be reunited again on the otherside. After a while of talking he said he felt peace in his heart, then we discussed that this peace is only the kind of peace heavenly fathers spirit can give us and that he should continue to pray for his friend and accept heavenly fathers plan for them. A week later his friends father passed away. When I told Jacob, I expected for him to cry. But he sat in silence for a minute and then asked 'I wonder how my friend is doing right now.' My little sweetheart, unconcerned by his feelings, only cared to know how his friend was feeling. I love his kind beautiful heart so much and hope he never sees that as a weakness, only a strength. His Aunt T is in the hospital right now, she may not make it out due to her lung failure. He has been asking alot and praying alot for her and asked if we could go visit her in the hospital to possibly say we love her and goodbye if that is what is heavenly fathers plan for her. It was a hard visit for him, but I know it gave his heart some peace to be with her if possibly for one last time. He truly loves his family and friends with all his heart. He completed 2nd grade and got all four quarters making honor roll and principles pride. So he is a smart boy. So very creative, always coming up with new lego builds. He won a lego build contest at Bricks and Minifigs for his creativity. I love to see what he creates! He still loves toys and wants to collect them all, nerf guns, lego sets, sonic action figures to name a few. I am actually impressed with his gaming ablilites, though i'm trying to limit them so he does other things in life. He loves to play roblox, fortnite and sonic and wants to be a competetive fortnite player (eep, lol). He did flag football as well this year, is currently doing crossfit teens and will start weightlifting with lily in the fall. I love the end of the night when I get to lie next to him before he falls asleep, reading a book and talking about life. Jacob is a smart, talented and overall amazingly beautiful boy.

Nacho, the air that I breath. Oh man I love this child with all my heart! (as I do all my kids...but he's the baby, so.) He is such a funny baby! Still makes the funniest faces. He acts like he's 2 going on 6, such a smart boy. He is my little partner as the other two are in school. We love to cuddle on the couch watching his shows and playing together. I kiss and hug him all day long and he never pushes me away (but he'll push anyone else who tries away...he can be a spicy Nacho.) He turns 3 this month, which is crazy to me how much time has flown by. I will write a longer post about him after his birthday, but so far this year he has grown into an independent, spicy, adorable and funny toddler soon to be preschooler.

Mark and I have been doing well. Mark is a Senior Manager accountant with Republic services. So far it's been a challenge adjusting to him working from home the last few years, to going back to the office and working alot of hours. The drive into scottsdale is an hour sometimes 1.5 hours for him so that sucks. We are talking about moving closer to scottsdale so he doesn't have to travels so far, but it's hard to leave a place we've made into a home and the kids are not excited about the idea of leaving their friends. So he will endure the drive until that day comes. Otherwise he seems to be doing a great job with his employer, they seem to like him and is happy with where he works. Which is good cause he spends alot of time working and late nights...being a growup is tuff. He is still the EQ President, and enjoys serving and getting to know the brothers of our ward. Mark is so easy going and level headed, and i love that he can share that peace with the brothers he serves and they teach him important things along that journey as well. I love Mark, he is such a great father and an incredibly supportive spouse. I am very fortunate to have him as my partner. As for me, I turned 40 in June...yikes. I had been having a lot of struggle with turning 40. Lots of feelings of inadicuacy, wondering what i've accomplished so far in my life. A lot of my friends moved on from me when I got pregnant and I had stopped hanging out with them from fear of contracting covid and losing Nacho.I understand why we drifted apart, but it made me feel very alone. I have not had a whole lot of connections aside from my imideate family and have felt very disconnected from friends, and sisters within my church. I think and act diferently then alot of the women around me, and it makes me feel isolated at times. Square peg, round hole is how I feel amoungst my gender. I hate that, but don't want to change who I am, becuase I like who I am...right? Realizing that I'm aging, and that my body and appereance will never be what I want it to be. I had worked so hard the four years up till I was pregnant with Nacho trying to lose weight and get stronger, it's been frustrating to feel like i'm starting all over again after having Nacho. It's left me feeling burnt out! Honestly my visions of accomplishment were incredibly shallow and unkind to myself and I was feeling myself sinking into a deep depression, one I haven't seen since my teen years. It was scary. I realized that I was having some sort of a mid-life crisis. Once I realized this, it has lead me down a journey of realizing what is important is not my outer shell, apperance and what the 'world' seems to value, but what my spiritual self becomes in this life. I have been trying to focus on better developing WHO i am, truly who I am. Figuring out who I was before this earthly existence and how I am utilizing this life to become who I need to be in the life to come. This life is so short, why am I focusing on shallow temperal things to be my source of accomplishment and Joy? So dumb. I've been focusing on developing myself through finding hobies that will develop me spiritually and intellecually (don't worry, I still work out everyday because a happy spirit is happy in a healthy body) I have developed a love for reading that I never cared to do before. I've joined a book club of awesome women who love to read as well, I have read a total of about 15 books since January, a mix of self help, fiction, romantic fantasy (my favorite) and gospel subject books. It's my new favorite hobby along with gardening which is taking a hold until this crazy hot summer is over. When I find myself self deprecating and feeling down, I have been good about trying to point out the positives in my life and the positive qualities I have. I am more then my body, I am more then what others see on the outside, the people I love in this life love me in return and they are the only ones worth my concern. I serve and love with my heart becuase I want to live as my savior taught me to be and I love ALL of heavenly fathers children no matter the choices they make. I am happy that I get to serve in Stake Relief Society among wise women who I am growing to respect and love. I am grateful for my human expereicne and want this time to become who I truly want to be in my spirit. So, that is where I am at right now. Does not mean that I don't still struggle with dark thoughts or that my life is perfect. It just means I am trying. We've had a few sad loses within our Stake which have opened my eyes to lifes fragilty and the amazing opportunity that we have to be here to learn. I hope that the lords plan is one that allows us a long earthly journey, but I can't focus on what will be, only what is.

Other happenings this year... We went to Utah to enjoy family and good weather, we were only there for about week, not our usual month. We went to Lagoon and spent lots of time eating icecream, enjoying nature and attending Carlos' wedding to Savanah. I had such a wonderful time with my sister. I wish she and I lived closer to eachother. We had a day to spend together with no children or spouses. Spent it getting our eye brows done, getting a peircing together, and going to a park with the intention to read, but ended up talking about deep life stuff. I love my sister so much and we get closer as we grow older together.

We got to take lily to her first rock concert as her 12 yr birthday gift. Mother Mother and Cave town were great! The best part was watching her face full of joy as she rocked out to some of her favorite songs.

We had the Horton Family Reunion in Flagstaff this year. The location/House was the best part. Had everything we needed and it was great to see the cousins bonding with eachother. Had a day in Sedona with everyone, and some fun at slide rock. Lily even got to cliff jump with her older cousins for the first time! I did not stay to watch, only witness the video. lol.

Then the rest of the summer was spent at the trampoline park as many days as we could get. One of Nachos favorite places. The kids also had a short blip on a summer golf team, but after having to endure 115 degree weather for 9 holes, I decided it was child abuse to let them continue. We are going to have to work on building up their love for golf again, a little PTSD attached to the game now. lol.