My dear family and friends,
I am writing this blog in tears as I am on the brink of
deleting all my social networking and online accounts as they have been hacked
and my privacy and security compromised. I am doing this with a very heavy
heart, as frequently living alone in a country not my home, it is not easy. The
internet is my primary mode of communication, be it to connect with new friends
in the country I am in or to keep in touch with family and friends I have all
over the world and especially those back home in the Philippines.
Many of you probably know how much I value family and
friendship. I would never pass up an opportunity to have a conversation over
coffee with a kindergarten classmate halfway around the globe whom I haven’t
seen for decades. I would down a beer with a person I just met on a hike in the
deserts of Israel. I would love to click that like button on the latest photo
of my niece that my cousin in the US posts. But despite all that, I would also
like to have that peace of mind that no one else can see my location, actions,
read my emails, and have access to all my private information unless I voluntarily
share it.
I am in tears also because of a failed relationship which
ended badly.
Late last year, I cheated on my then long-distance girlfriend.
Being in a long distance relationship is difficult, but that was no excuse for cheating.
I was very sorry for what I did and owned up to my fault by breaking up with
her.
Soon after, in March of this year, I entered into a new
relationship. The relationship was fun, exciting, romantic, and having it in a
foreign country with a foreign girl, it was full of new learning and
experiences. My whole life in that country revolved around her.
But alas, after being together for 6 months, it struck me: I
was not truly happy. There was something missing in our relationship, a feeling
of mutual fulfilment in having even just each other; something I may have
gotten close to finding in my other previous relationships. But I knew, it was
not this one. I broke up with her, quit my contractual job and left the country to go back home to
Philippines.
She could not accept my reason for breaking up with her. She
resorted to coming to Philippines to visit me and try to win back my heart, but
I couldn’t give our relationship another chance anymore. When she went back
home to her country, she continued to frequently send me sweet and romantic messages.
I blocked almost all modes of communication with her (except for email),
thinking that if we stopped talking, it would be easier for her to stop
thinking about me and eventually get over me.
Apparently, this blocking of communication is what triggered
her to hack into my online accounts, see what I post (and what you my friends
post too!), know my location, have access to my emails which store my work
contract info (umm, salary?), bank account details, etc. Though she has not
done anything to alter any of my accounts, but just the thought of someone else
having unauthorized access to my private property makes me very anxious.
I am very sad because it had to come down to this. I know, I
have broken a number of women’s hearts, and had mine broken by a few too. I am
sure many of you know that I have ended each and every one of my failed relationships
in a good way; except for this one which I have exhausted my efforts to do so. I
am pained by the thought that someone I shared a part of my life so intimately
with had the guts in her to invade my privacy. Sure, I had an idea that she had
the intellect and skill to do this, but to actually do it? No.
So I have to end my blog here with a sorry good bye to my
friends for now from being in touch. We will find alternative and old-fashioned
ways to keep contact. To my friends that I may not cross paths again…fuck it, I
damn hope we do. :D
Lots of love,
Martin
