Speechless

It’s been 4 and a half years since my last post. Why? Well, I don’t really know. A lot and I mean a LOT has happened in my life in the past 4 and a half years, but I’ll spare you most of the details. In short, I’ve been fired a job, what I thought was my dream job; started a new job . . .which I love; moved from our house that I thought was our forever home into a home that has been far more amazing that I ever could have imagined it could be; have had one of my kids pass me up in height with the other just a half inch from passing me up, at which point I’ll be the shortest in our family besides the dog and the cat; and this past year have lived through the CampFire of November of 2018 where our house was spared, but my family and friends homes were not, the town I was born in raised in, the home I grew up in, the schools I graduated from, and everything in between burned to the ground. So yeah, a lot has happened in the past 4 and a half years.

So why write now? Again, I don’t really know. I guess it’s because as I was watching a video chat from a friend tonight I was suddenly taken by emotion, emotion that’s been hiding for the past 8 months since the fire. The emotion really had little to do with what was being said through the chat, but all of a sudden there it was, rolling down my cheeks in giant tears that haven’t come since November 8th. I’ve driven through Paradise, my hometown, dozens and dozens of times since the fire with no tears, sadness, but no emotion, stoic really. I’m not really sure why. I wasn’t trying to stuff my emotions, and it’s not that I didn’t feel sad or completely heartbroken for every single one of my family and friends that have lost everything, but for some reason I have not felt it until tonight.

For the past 8 months I have had many MANY conversations with MANY people about the fire, the effects of the fire, the loss, the hurt, the fear, the triggers, the everything about the fire. Many, many words, sometimes the wrong ones, sometimes trying to find the right ones but not knowing what to say because I can truly never understand the loss that those around me have experienced. I can’t even begin to imagine what life is like when you have to start completely over with nothing. I can not imagine what life is like for those that have moved back home to their houses that survived but are now surrounded by a nothingness that is their new normal.

Tonight my heart broke and the tears streamed. Speechless.

Speechless because I do not know the words to say. There are no words to “fix it” or “make it better” so that “everything will be ok”, because it’s not ok. Words cannot undo the complete loss of not just houses, but homes, not just personal belongings but keepsakes, memories, treasures. There are no words that can describe the deep utter loss that those I love and those I see but don’t know are wading through every single day. And yet, there you are, everyday, doing life, putting the pieces back together. Some are picking up the pieces faster than others and others are struggling to just get through the day, but all of them are making it through the most devastating thing that life has probably ever thrown at most of them.

Speechless.

Speechless because I am in absolute awe and wonder at the hundreds if not thousands in our County living the trailer life for the past 8 months and freaking ROCKING IT! Humbled by those who have moved from hotel room to hotel room, from one rental to another, from one temporary living situation to the next because they are not just survivors, they are warriors, fighting through each day and winning, even when it feels like they are losing.

Speechless at the incredible generosity that I have seen in the past 8 months, that we ourselves were shown in the 5 weeks we were not able to get back into our home. There aren’t words to describe what the generosity shown us meant – thank you doesn’t do it justice.

You may be thinking, sheesh, for being speechless you sure wrote a lot of words, and yes, you’re right. But I don’t think I will ever have the words to express my support, excitement, and amazement for everyone in every single different situation post CampFire. For those rebuilding in Paradise – forging ahead into uncharted territory with excitement and passion and vision and maybe even some trepidation. To those who have moved away to unknown areas, new cities, new states, new schools, new jobs. To those who have relocated to Chico and the surrounding areas and are making new lives in new neighborhoods. For those still completely unsure what to do, where to go, what decisions to make (and that is OK!). There will never be the right words to let every single one of you know how amazing you are and how completely sucky everything about the Campfire is.

So I sit here, typing unnecessary words with tears streaming down my face . . . speechless.

What I Learned During 365 Days of Thankfulness

So in 2014 I decided to post on Facebook something I was thankful for each day, for 365 days, starting January 1st all the way through to today, December 31st! There were days that I missed, but I caught up, and I found that with each day thankfulness truly did grow in my heart.

I had no idea though when I began my 365 Days of Thankfulness on January 1st of this year that this would be the most challenging year of my life so far. I had no idea that my year would be full of tears, hurt, heartache and change. I had no idea how difficult it would be some days to find something to be thankful for. I had no idea how much I would need the challenge to be thankful every single day. . . . but God did.

This year started off like any other year, full of new resolutions, hopes and expectations. The months passed without much commotion until about July. That’s when things started to change. Up until the beginning of July writing my “thankful posts” had been relatively easy. Even on the tough days, when the kids had been challenging or I had been in a bad mood or unforeseen circumstances had messed with my plan for the day, I was still able to look around and be grateful for all the God had given me. But in July, my perception on life, who I was and what I am created for began to change, and in a sense it felt like my whole world as I had known it up to that point was being flipped on it’s head.

This past August my husband and I reached our 10 year anniversary. I say reached and not celebrated because at the time it did not feel like a celebration. In July I realized something wasn’t quite right in our marriage, and I didn’t know what it was. It felt like we had begun to drift apart and it was not a good feeling. I knew he still loved me and I loved him, but our marriage was not living up to the expectations that I had created in my mind about what I thought marriage was supposed to be like. Expectations based on what I perceived others that appeared to have thriving marriages had.

August came and went and I found myself sinking into an overwhelming sense of discouragement, about marriage, about work, about relationships and friendships, about parenthood, about my life. I wouldn’t call it depression because I don’t think that’s what it was, but it was a discouragement that sunk deep to my core. And that is when I realized the importance and the encouragement that came from my daily “thankful posts”. Each day I was challenged, and I say challenged because the feelings of thankfulness did not come easily during this time, to write at least one thing I was grateful for. Some days I would sit in front of my computer for what felt like half and hour trying to find something to post about what I was thankful for. Writing this now, that sounds terrible, and I’m sorry if this post is depressing you, but I felt led to be completely open and honest about this past year, because we can all put on a happy face and pretend everything is like a facebook post, perfectly posed and manicured, but the truth is that it’s not. Life is not always happy, it’s not easy and we’re ALL far from perfect, and always will be. And that’s okay!

As the months progressed I decided that I needed to seek some help to work through my discouragement and the unhealthy thinking patterns that I had begun to recognize in myself. I realized that throughout the years I had built my self worth on what others thought of me, rather than who God says that I am. So in the first week of October I began seeing a counselor to help me work through my thoughts and emotions. I had fought against the thought of going to a counselor for months, partly because I thought if I went to see a counselor that meant I had failed. You see, if you don’t know this about me already, I am a director of Women’s Ministries at my church. I lead other women. I felt that if I needed counselling, then I wasn’t equipped to be leading others. Which is completely untrue as I soon realized. In fact, God often takes us through brokenness so that we can be better leaders, more like Him, more full of grace and understanding for those who may go through the same or similar situations.

In the past three months that I have been going to counselling I have learned SO much about myself. I have learned that other people’s thoughts, actions and decisions do not dictate my worth. I have learned that my own thoughts, actions and decisions do not dictate my worth. God alone has my worth. He made me. He knows me, even the parts of me that I try to hide, and you know what?! He loves me and wants to use me for His purposes. That’s very worthwhile. As I started making changes in my thinking about who I am as a person, I started to feel a bit lost. I have been “doing” my whole like trying to “be” someone good. When I stopped striving, it almost felt as it I was treading water without knowing where to go next. A very strange feeling to say the least. My counselor congratulated me on getting to that place and said that I was feeling that way because I was letting go of unhealthy parts of me. He said,” You know what that feeling is called?”. “What?” I said. “Change”, he said. And he was right. I was changing, a lot. I was letting go of the parts of me weren’t healthy, parts of me that I had clung to for years because I thought that’s who I was, and pressing forward to something new. The me that God created me to be.

I know this post has been a bit of a downer so far, but there has also been a LOT of good that has come out of this year. When I started to feel distance between my husband and I, I pressed into God’s Word and prayer more than ever in my life. I have gotten closer in my relationship with God this year than the rest of my life combined I think. You know how when someone goes through something really terrible and someone says, “Well, if nothing else, maybe this will bring them closer to God.” I realized this year that THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THAN BEING CLOSER TO GOD!!!! All of life, all of our relationships, our circumstances, our struggles, failures, successes, everything is to bring us closer to God. Getting closer to God isn’t meant to be the fluke result of our life, it’s meant to be the goal of our life, to become more like Christ.

Those failed expectations that I mentioned earlier about my marriage, those ran throughout my entire life, failed expectations in friendships, as a parent, as a person. All because I had based my expectations on the wrong thing. I had set them on what I saw in others lives instead of on what God says He wants for my life. Does that mean I will never be disappointed, no, that’s just part of life. But it means that I’m learning to adjust my expectations to what God says about me and others, not on what I think life should be life. God has a very different view about life than we do I think. We look for happiness, for safety and security, for purpose. God says we have been created for HIS purpose. He doesn’t ever give us the false hope of an easy life, just read the Bible. I can’t think of one character in the Bible who learned “the easy way”, no, most of the stories you read are full of tragedy, hurt, heartache, pain, suffering, grace, forgiveness, and the need to trust God.

This year I am also learning about what unconditional love really means. I say learning because I think it will be a lifelong process, because unconditional love is so contrary to our human nature. I “know” in my brain what unconditional love is: love without conditions. But in my heart I have found it so much harder to understand. As my husband and I began to talk more and share our thoughts, our hurts, our struggles and our dreams for our marriage and family and future with each other, I began to get a better picture of unconditional love in our marriage. We committed to love each other for the rest of our lives, that is not a love of “feelings” but a love not based on conditions, not based on each others words or actions, but because we committed to love each other. And with the commitment the feelings grow and are cultivated as you give your life for the other person. I can honestly say that I love my husband more today than the day we got married, even though this was the hardest year of our marriage, I also think it’s been the best year of our marriage. We are learning how to better communicate with each other, how to better meet each others needs, how to better love each other.

I have also learned this year how to be a better me. As I begin to let go of the hurts of my past, I find myself free. Free from unrealistic expectations of myself and of others. Free from the baggage of the hurt that I have carried around for years (even unknowingly). Free from perfectionism. As it says in Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” I have been set free, and this year I started to realize the extent of that freedom and the extent to which I had allowed myself to be burdened by life.

The old me would have apologized that this post is so long and somewhat sad, but I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to apologize for this year that God has given me, because it has been a blessing. I have been forever changed by this year, in a great way, through tears and trials God is shaping me to reflect His glory. As I let go of who I thought I was and grab hold of who God is, He is showing me that I AM HIS, and that is amazing! This has been a year of change, a year of growth, a year of freedom, a year of true love. This has been a year of joy, of new life, of hope.

So, here is my last thankful post of the year. Day 365 – I am thankful that God gave me the most challenging year of my life so that I could get closer to Him and better understand who He made me to be.

Happy New Year!

The true meaning of Christmas

As I was sitting here thinking about what I could write about to encourage you this busy week of Christmas, the thought of “the true meaning of Christmas” came to mind. Cheesy, I know, and it seems cliche but bear with me 🙂 We all know that Christmas isn’t about presents or Santa or shopping or whatever, but that the true reason for celebrating Christmas is Jesus’ birth. But as I was thinking about it today, I realized that the true meaning of Christmas is also about sacrifice. We often think of sacrifice at Easter, when we recognize Jesus’ death and resurrection. But the celebration of Christmas is a beautiful picture of sacrifice as well. God sacrificed himself, becoming human, coming to earth as a baby, completely dependent on Mary and Joseph to keep him alive, to raise him. Mary sacrificed her reputation, and even potentially her marriage when she allowed God to use her to be Jesus’ mother. Joseph too sacrificed his reputation by taking Mary to be his wife, even though she was pregnant with Jesus through the Holy Spirit.

At any moment, Mary or Joseph could have determined that God’s call on their life was too much, too hard, required too much of them. They could have said no, they could have quit. But they didn’t. They sacrificed their entire lives to fulfill God’s plan.

It can be so easy to plan around everyone else in our lives, to make sure everyone around us is comfortable, happy, content. That can even easily become our goal for ourselves: comfort and happiness. But God calls us to SO MUCH MORE than comfort. He calls us to sacrifice. He calls us to serve. He calls us to give up our entire lives for His purpose. That is NO comfortable or easy task. And it’s not something we can do on our own. It requires complete dependence on Him, just as Jesus as a baby completely depended on his mother Mary to raise Him, we must completely depend on God, our Father, to raise us in His image.

So as you go about your week, celebrating Christmas, spending time with family and friends, remember what Christmas is really about; God, the maker of heaven and earth giving everything for you. Perhaps it’s time to give Him your everything as well.

The Art of True Hospitality

As the holidays quickly approach I find myself confronted with the same thing as many of you: having guests over to my house. I am not by nature a hospitable person. In fact, hospitality is something that I really have had to work at over the past 10 years or so (since I’ve been married). Not because I don’t like to have people over to my home, I LOVE to have people over to my home, but the work that it takes to prep the house for guests seemed overwhelming. Until I realized the truth about hospitality.

Hospitality isn’t about having clean, well decorated house to entertain people in. Hospitality is about welcoming people into your home, into your life and truly caring about them and for them.

The dictionary defines hospitality as this (if you know me, you know I like definitions!):

Hospitality: the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

synonyms:

friendliness, hospitableness, warm reception, welcome, helpfulness,neighborliness, warmth, kindness, congeniality, geniality, cordiality,courtesy, amenability, generosity, entertainment, catering, food

I included the synonyms with the definition because I love how these are words that describe hospitality in another way. Notice how you don’t see the words “clean”, “pinteresty”, “perfectly decorated” among the synonyms?!

Don’t get me wrong, a clean home is nice to have. But the struggle that I faced was that the over cleanliness and orderliness of my home earlier in my life made for a less hospitable environment for any guests that may have come over. I was more concerned about my menu coming out just right and just on time and all of the plates being set and the knick knacks being dusted and the floors being kept clean than I was about the people who came through my door. And so, we rarely had guests over for the first 5-7 years of our married life. I would get stressed about making sure the house was just right, everything clean, nothing out of place. My attitude was NOT one of hospitality, but rather one of performance; trying to achieve an outward perfection of some kind.

It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I realized that hospitality has NOTHING to do with the state of my house, and EVERYTHING to do with the people I welcome into my home.

If you notice, the root word in hospitality is “hospital”, a place to care for sick and injured people. My home is meant to be a place to care for people as well. I desire that each person that comes through the door of my home know that they are loved and cared for, even if my floors are dirty and my shelves are dusty and my bathroom mirrors have spots on them.

As I was sweeping my kitchen floor today, which I hadn’t done all week, so it was pretty dirty, I realized the old me would have been embarrassed to have someone over with dirty floors like they are right now. The me that I am now though doesn’t even care! That was a big and great realization for me! Dirty floors used to keep me from loving people. Now, know that you are welcome into my home any time, just don’t eat anything that you might drop on the floor 😉

So as the holidays are upon us, let me give you a handful of tips that I have learned along the way that have helped me to be more hospitable. Some of them you may find silly. Maybe you’ll find some of them helpful, who knows! And if you find yourself twitching in disgust at any of them, let me encourage you to evaluate your own view of hospitality 🙂

1. Don’t mop the floors before guests come over. – save yourself the trouble of clean floors. No one, and I repeat NO ONE is going to be looking at your floors wondering if they have been freshly mopped.

2. Don’t do a thorough cleaning before guests come over. – Tidy up, wipe the counters, sweep, whatever, but don’t stress about cleaning every spot of dirt in your home. The baseboards can wait, and so can the ceiling fans, and the pantry doesn’t have to be reorganized either (for those of you OCD people out there!) No one, and I repeat NO ONE is going to be looking at your ceiling fans, baseboards or pantry. And if they do and comment about them, hand them a rag and some cleaner and tell them to have fun!

3. Make food dishes that are EASY! – don’t try a new recipe that you don’t know how to make and don’t know how it will turn out when you are having guests over, unless you are also okay with ordering take out if it doesn’t turn out right. Making food for friends should be fun, not stressful, so go ahead, serve up store bought salad with that turkey!

4. You are NOT Martha Stewart, and that’s okay. – there is only one Martha Stewart, and that it enough for this world. And unless you are her (and I’m pretty sure you’re not because I doubt she reads my blog) then don’t try to be her. Some of you are craftier than me and that is your gift and you LOVE to make beautiful things and you do them well, GREAT! You 10 people have fun with that. The rest of you who are like me and have more Pinterest “nailed it” moments that real Pinterest moments, it’s okay! Let it go. You are not Martha Stewart, be okay with that 🙂

5. Don’t clean up after people until you are SURE they are completely done. – Okay you may be wondering what in the heck I am talking about here but seriously people, I used to have a problem with this. And if you ask my husband he would probably tell you that I’m still recovering from this non-hospitable habit. When you have guests over, particularly when there is food involved, DO NOT clear their plates or cups if you think they might still be using them or may use them again. IT’S OKAY if there are plates and cups laying around the table and counter. Really, it’s okay, I promise. In all honesty, something I have learned it that cleaning up after people makes them feel uncomfortable, like they are making a mess that you didn’t want them to make. Relax and let them make a mess. You can clean it up AFTER they leave!

6. Don’t spend all of your time in the kitchen while guests are over – Remember some of the synonyms of hospitality? Kindness, warmth, helpfulness, generosity? Those traits of hospitality take place between people, not between a spoon and a pot, or rubber gloves and a sink of soapy water. The dishes can wait, people should not. Don’t hide yourself in the kitchen keeping yourself busy with tasks while you could be building relationships!

And last but certainly not least.

7. Make your guests the priority. – everything else is just the stuff of entertaining. The food, the drinks, the atmosphere. What people remember most is how YOU made them feel, what you said, what you did to show them you truly care. Talk with them, listen to them, laugh with them, and maybe even cry with them. Hospitality is about people, make sure your guests know that they matter to you.

I guess my hand has 7 fingers because I told you I was giving you a handful of tips and you got 7, lol. Oh well.

I hope that this post is helpful and encouraging to you. As a recovering attempted perfectionist and a recovering lousy hostess, let me encourage you by saying that if I can learn to be hospitable and learn to LOVE it, then you can too!

My favorite part of the definition of hospitality is the list of people that are included in it: guests, visitors and strangers. When you realize the truth about hospitality and discover the art of true hospitality, your home will become a welcome place for all. Who are your doors open to today?!

I Love My Body

This morning I found myself reading yet another blog that had been posted on Facebook about body image. I honestly think I’ve read over half a dozen of them this past month, all written by women, some by moms with post baby bodies, others by women who have lost significant amounts of weight and are getting healthy, all spurred by the summer months and the fear or freedom of putting on summer clothes and being seen by other humans. The one I read today was about a woman who had lost a huge amount of weight, was living a healthy lifestyle and had even become a personal trainer, but her body still reflected her past weight: saggy skin, stretch marks, left over fat. She was no size 2 and she was writing about how even with all of the work she had done to lose weight and get healthy she fell into the trap of hating her body at times.

The sad thing is, if we’re being honest, what woman hasn’t hated her body or parts of it at times? I know I have. I know there are days, weeks even, that I dislike what I see in the mirror even now. Why? Why is so much of our self worth caught up in what is reflected in the mirror?

I am a mom of 2 kids, aged 6 and almost 8. I have very minor battle wounds from childbearing: a small stretch mark here and there. I am a size 4 and would be considered by most petite, yet I sometimes feel overweight and that I need to lose a few pounds. I used to work out 10 hours or more a week and train for and compete in sprint triathlons, but now I work outside of the home and I don’t have the time, or rather, don’t want to give up the time I have with my family to spend at the gym so my daily exercise has become walking the dog and playing with my kids. I eat fairly healthy but I do very much enjoy chocolate, ice cream and anything sweet 🙂

I am 33 years old, am 5 feet 2 inches tall, weigh 127 pounds am a size 4, am pasty white with a bit of an orange-ish hue right now (because I smother myself in sunscreen and self tanning cream) and I am healthy. But in the view of society in America, or at least what is portrayed on the front covers of the magazines I pass as I load my almond milk, whole wheat bread, veggies, pasta and ice cream onto the conveyor belt at the check out line at the grocery store, I could probably bear to lose a few pounds, and get a tan (or at least a spray tan). I am not tall thin and tan. Jeans are always too long for me. Most boots do not fit me because I have large calves and mid-drift shirts are about normal length on me (not that I would wear one anyways, and if you do see me wearing one, please slap me upside the head). But you know what? I am beautiful.

I can remember in high school getting teased because I have weird toes (and I do have weird toes, feel free to look at them if you see me in sandals), and because of that, I wouldn’t wear any sandals that showed my toes through much of high school. I have always, and I know I’m not the only one, compared myself to other women. “I wish I was taller like her”, “I wish I had long hair like her”, “I wish I could wear jeans like that”, etc. Why do we do that?! Seriously, the person you are comparing yourself to does the exact same thing, trust me. We all do it. That woman that looks so perfect to you looks at herself in the mirror and sees things that she dislikes as well. Theodore Roosevelt said it well when he said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

I say all of that to tell you that this summer has been different for me. This summer I am the heaviest weight I’ve been since I had my kids, I’m not toned or tanned or bathing suit ready by society’s standards, but I am the most comfortable and happy that I have been in my body in a very long time. I am realizing that my worth is not at all about what I see in the mirror or what others see when they look at me, but my worth is in the fact that God made me. GOD! You know, the very same God who created rainbows and butterflies and waterfalls and sunsets and beaches. . . He created me. I am His workmanship! And if you know anything about God, you know He doesn’t make mistakes. God didn’t make a mistake when He created me with short legs and thick calves. He didn’t make any mistakes when He gave you a thicker frame than the girl sitting next to you. Our American magazine cover standard was NOT God’s perfect design for humanity and then the rest of us were mess-ups.

Ephesians 2:10 says that , “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” I am God’s handiwork. God took pride in creating me exactly as I am, so why when we look in the mirror do we doubt God’s ability to create something perfectly beautiful and instead look for all of the flaws? God didn’t create any flaws in you, so stop looking for them. If we stopped worrying so much about what others thought of us, and about trying to get what we see in the mirror to match what we think we should see in the mirror, maybe then we’d be able to live out the rest of this verse. . .”created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

God didn’t create us just to look good in a bathing suit. He created us to do good works so that others may come to know His love. I realized earlier this year that having a poor self image about myself does NOT point others toward God. When I’m more concerned about how I look in the morning than spending time with the One who created me, then my priorities are wrong. When I look into the Bible instead of the mirror first thing in the morning, My Creator tells me that I am beautiful, that I am made in His image, that I am created to do good works, that I should be full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, and self-control, not so that I can look amazing in a pair of shorts or a swim suit, but so that my life honors the One who made me. I wasn’t created to be a super model, I was created to model Christ.

I have a 6 year old daughter who loves to look in the mirror What little girl doesn’t? Funny how we go from loving to gaze at ourselves in the mirror all day long to running past the full length mirrors in the shopping mall so we don’t have to look at our reflection. It would crush me if my daughter looked in the mirror and instead of twirling around and flipping her hair and primping she instead stared sadly into her reflection looking for things that she didn’t like about herself. She is beautiful and perfect in my eyes. In the same way, you are God’s daughter. He created you and you are beautiful in His eyes. He wants you to twirl and laugh and love and live.

So this summer as I bear my body a bit more than the cooler months I’m going to enjoy the life God’s given me. I’m sure throughout the course of the summer I’ll lose a few pounds and gain a few pounds, I’ll eat salads and fruit and ice cream and smores. I’ll soak up the wonderful sunshine that He created on my beautiful pale skin and dig my creative looking toes into the soft sand and know that God created me for purpose. I’m not just a pretty face here people, I’m part of God’s master plan. . .and so are you! 🙂

Christmas Overload

So this year Christmas has sort of snuck up on me (anyone else feeling that way?) I finished my Christmas shopping (online) this past weekend, not all of which have arrived yet (still hoping everyone gifts will get here on time), there are no, and I mean NO presents wrapped yet which means ZERO presents under the tree at this point. The tree is up though and the house is decorated so if you ask me, that’s a win 🙂 Oh and we have our Advent calendar and Christmas countdowns up and they just adjusted to the correct day most days (and that’s still a win because whoever gets to put up the correct days number gets to do a few days worth and feels like they got away with something for putting up more than one number!). Christmas cards were a casualty due to the lack of time and energy this year. And to be honest, it really didn’t make me sad not having try to get a decent family picture for our cards, trying to select the “perfect” Christmas photo card, order, address and mail a bazillion cards during the busiest time of the year. I’m telling you, some of the cards I got were stunning! I don’t know how you people get your kids all dressed nicely and “coordinating” and get them all to smile at the same time! I’m pretty sure bribery and threats are part of this joyful holiday tradition, at least they are when we attempt family Christmas photos.

This was our attempt at a decent Christmas photo last year. We got one eventually but not for the lack of tears (my daughters and maybe a few from me after the fact 🙂 )

All of the hustle and bustle and to-do’s of this time of year has really got me thinking this year. Why do I try to do every Christmas tradition ever known to man and exhaust and stress myself out every year? Do I do it for fun? To make new family traditions? Sometimes. To keep up with what everyone else does with their families (or at least what they post on Facebook that they do with their families?) Maybe. Do I do it to teach the true meaning of Christmas? Um, well, um, uh. . ., probably not. Well, my solution to the problem of Christmas “stuff” and stress overload this year was to simplify. No Christmas cards, no gingerbread house, no fancy homemade tags for my Christmas gifts, no Elf on the shelf (okay we never did this anyways, just not my thing, sorry, but I have to admit, some of the ideas I see out there are pretty hilarious). . .no stress. Now don’t get your Christmas spirit all in a bunch, I’m not the grinch or anything, I’m just a mom who feels like my family time suffers around Christmas due to all of the “stuff” that has to be done, which is, in my opinion, the time of year that the time I spend with my family should be the most valuable!

Now c’mon, that’s just wrong (and funny 🙂 )

Simplify. Now what does that mean? The definition of simplify is literally: to make (something) simpler or easier to do or understand. The true meaning of Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ is already so overshadowed by the traditions and commercialism of today’s culture that I need to simplify in my home so that my family (and so that I) will better understand why we celebrate Christmas in the first place! There are SO many things you can choose to do at Christmastime, and traditions are not bad, in fact, they are great, but do you really need to do ALL of them? In my case, the answer is a resounding NO. No, I do not need to do cookie decorating and gingerbread house making and Christmas card mailing and Santa picture taking and fancy gift wrapping and a partridge in a pear tree, not if it distracts from or takes away from the quality time I need to spend with my family at Christmas so that I can teach them about what Christmas really means. If the stuff gets in the way, or causes too much stress, the answer (for me) is to get rid of the stuff. Each year might look a little different than this year for Christmas festivities and that’s okay! Maybe I will have time and energy for Christmas cards next year (although I bet my husband kids are secretly hoping that I won’t). The key is, at least for me, doing what is important to your family without taking away from what Christmas is really about and without adding unnecessary stress just to get it all done.

You know what has been amazing about this Christmas season so far? I have got to spend more time with my family talking about Christmas, about Jesus, about why we give gifts and why we sing songs and why we celebrate Christmas! If I’m being 100% honest, it hasn’t been all stress free, but it has been much more enjoyable and relaxing and purposeful than before! And you know what else? My kids haven’t even missed the stuff we haven’t done this year, honestly. Not once have they asked why we didn’t do gingerbread houses this year or why I didn’t force them to dress up and act happy for a picture to mail to people they don’t even know.

Now just to quiet those of you who may think I have lost my Christmas spirit altogether, don’t fret, next week, even if it’s the day before Christmas, I will decorate cookies with my kids. The presents will get wrapped and get under the tree at some point (it may be Christmas Eve at 11:59pm). We will drink hot chocolate and go look at Christmas lights and we will make lots of Christmas memories with our family. And everyone will be joyful and merry and bright and NOT stressed (at least that’s what we’re shooting for)!

So this year, make Christmas about Christ and family. Let your traditions add to the true joy and meaning of Christmas, not distract from it. Let the laundry sit in the dryer for another cycle and sit with your kids and read them the Christmas story from the Bible. Make the traditions and the moments that you spend with your family count, and let go of the things that don’t really matter. I want to leave you with the words that my five year old daughter wrote in her public school teachers Christmas card (yes, we got around to getting the teachers’ cards at least 🙂 ) It made my heart happy to know that she understands what Christmas is all about:

“Merry Christmas. I love you. I wish you have a warm and happy and cozy Christmas. I know that Christmas is not about Santa and presents but about love and Jesus. Love, Gwyn”

Thanksgiving or Complaingiving?

It’s November! One of my most favorite months of the year! I love the way that God’s creation paints November with hues of oranges and yellows and reds, so beautiful. It’s also the month that we celebrate Thanksgiving. I’m not just talking about the fourth Thursday of the month where we celebrate the holiday known as Thanksgiving, but the month of November has, in more recent years it seems like, become a month of expressing thankfulness. On Facebook many people participate in the 30 day of Thankfulness expressing one thing each day that they are thankful for.

I recently read a funny ecard about this month of thankfulness that hit me right between the eyes. It was funny but also devastatingly true.

Isn’t it true though? We (myself included) are so quick to complain about anything and everything, in person and on social media, but it takes a national holiday and a set month of thankfulness to express our gratitude and thanks everyday.

I like definitions, so I looked up the definition of thankfulness and here’s what I found:

thank·ful (thngkfl)

adj.

1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful.

2. Expressive of gratitude: a thankful smile.

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Why is it that we have to set aside a month to highlight the things, people, experiences, that we are thankful for, but for the rest of the year we are content to express our grumbling and complaining about every little thing that messes with our lives? As I started to think about this, it made me sad. I have SO much to be thankful for, and yet I fall into the trap of complaining about something or someone almost every single day. Why is grumbling coming from my lips instead of thanks? Why is it so much easier to complain than to be appreciative?

The answer: it’s not. It’s not easier to complain that to give thanks, it’s just a horrible, terrible habit that needs to be broken. Have you ever joined in on the 30 days of Thankfulness? What happens when you start being thankful? It becomes easier and easier to be thankful. Once you start to take notice of what you have to be thankful for, it’s like a snowball effect and you just keep on realizing more and more things, events, circumstances, people, experiences, to be thankful for. Our attitude changes when our focus is on being thankful.

Like I said, I like definitions. Look at the definition of complain:

com·plain kəmˈplān/

verb

express dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.

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Complaining is the complete opposite of being thankful. We have so much to be thankful for (Americans especially), yet we find so many things to complain about; the weather when it’s not just as we like it, the speed it takes to get through a line at the store, the traffic, our family dynamics, our houses. But what if we look at those things from a perspective of thankfulness instead of complaining: the sun gives us light and the rain gives us water; the line at the store gives us an opportunity to slow down (goodness knows we all need to slow down a bit) look up and converse with the other people around us; we have cars to be stuck in traffic in and it gives you time to think, pray, sing out loud, whatever; we have homes to live in, to keep us warm and dry. We often see the problems that come with all of those things and miss the blessings that we are surrounded by every second of every day.

I’m going to sound like a parent now for a moment, but I am a parent so just deal with it :), but there are people in this world, right now, who do not have half of those things listed. Traffic and house issues don’t apply to them because they don’t have cars or homes. Family issues aren’t something they complain about because they don’t have a family who cares for them. We take for granted every single day (myself included) hundreds of blessings that others will never experience, and we have the audacity to complain about them.

Recently for me November has become the month of “giving back”. There are so many in need locally and globally. Most of us that are reading this have been blessed over and above what we need. It’s time to share that blessing with others. There are SO many ways you can give to those who need it. Perhaps your city corners are manned by those less fortunate this time of year, you could create a “Blessing Bag” to keep in your car and hand out to those in need. You might include things like: deodorant, toothbrush and toothpaste, granola bars, bottled water, gum, chapstick, comb, Kleenex, trail mix, band aids, a gift card for a meal, and maybe a note of encouragement. You put all of the stuff in a gallon Ziploc and keep it in your car so you have it on hand when you recognize someone who needs it.

Something else you could easily do locally is check with your local foster care agencies to see what needs they have this season. There are literally thousands of children in foster care just in California, who have nothing that belongs just to them. Agencies often need backpacks or duffel bags and blankets that they give to these kids when they are placed in a home for the first time. Many of the agencies also need gifts for those children who potentially will not get any Christmas gifts this year.

There are dozens of easy ways you can give back, and many of those ways could be you passing on something that you no longer need that someone else might. Many church’s have food pantries and clothes closets to help those who need assistance in those areas. You can donate food and clothing to help those services. Our church also has a wood ministry to help those needing wood to heat their homes during the cold months. You can see the full list of ministries at my church that are there to help those in need by clicking on the following link. Or check out the churches close to you to see how you can help.

http://paradisecma.org/benevolence-ministries/

Other ways that you can give back include financial donations to organizations that do the work that we sometimes can’t do ourselves. For example, when the typhoon hit the Philippines this past week, my heart broke for those people. So much instant loss and devastation. What could I possibly do that would make any impact in their lives to help them? On my own, not much, but there are organizations already established that can offer immediate relief in situations like these. One that was brought to my attention this week is CAMA. CAMA has workers on the ground living in the Philippines who are already getting relief to those who need it.

For more information on CAMA or to give to the relief effort in the Philippines, go to http://www.camaservices.org.

You can also “give back” by being aware of how you spend your money. There are many businesses and non-profits out there that you can purchase items from that give the profits to charities or organizations that are working to improve human life. A couple of girls from my hometown recently started their own non-profit business making scarves. They have partnered with Nvader an organization based out of New Zealand who works world-wide to not only rescue women and children from human trafficking, they also work with local government, train the local law enforcement, work to prosecute those responsible and bring justice to those affected. All of the profits from each scarf that is sold goes directly to Nvader to help fight human trafficking!

Click HERE to go to Kompassionknit’s website

Even if you don’t have the time to start your own non-profit organization, you can be educated and proactive in how you spend your money; know what you are buying and what it is going towards!

November is about being thankful and that is great, but let’s not let it stop expressing what we are thankful for on November 30th, let’s make thankfulness something we exude 365 days a year. I’ve decided in January that I am going to start 365 days of Blessings on Facebook. Why January, well, not because I’m not thankful right now, I most definitely am, but I thought it would be a good way to start off the new year. Every day I will post something that is a blessing to me, because there are FAR more than 365 things to be thankful for and more importantly because I want my attitude and my words to change from being complaining to be thankful. Maybe you’ll join me?!

Let’s make November and the other 11 months in the year about Thanksgiving, instead of Complaingiving!

The Church Is Full Of . . .

Yesterday I posted a couple of questions on Facebook regarding “church”. I wanted to know peoples honest thoughts, opinions, feelings, experiences with church. The responses I got were not all what I expected, in fact in some cases I was taken aback by the vulnerable candid honesty with which people replied. Many of the answers were idealistic in their approach to the question and others were answered through the lense of personal experience. So that you can understand where I will be coming from throughout this post, here are the questions I posted yesterday and the majority of replies that I received (I left out some due to repetition and I’ve left off names to protect the innocent 🙂 ).

Question: I know I may be opening up a can of worms here, but I would like to hear your thoughts on church. You may have gone to church your whole life or you may have never graced the doors of a church but I’d love to hear all of your thoughts on what you think church is. Please keep it to comments and no arguing on the subject:) Everyone will have their own thoughts and I’d love to hear them all!

Answers in reply:

Went to church when I was younger, it’s fine I have nothing against gathering to pray and sing and worship God, but I believe you don’t have to gather with others in church to be a Christian, and a believer, and to pray…I’ve been doing alot of that on my own lately…

Church is an important part of a believers walk with God because it allows us to be in fellowship with other believers. However churches are filled with imperfect people who make mistakes and often hurt one another. I know many people that have been hurt deeply by different churches (myself included) but I think this gives us an amazing opportunity to show mercy and forgiveness to one another. It is a place to learn and then be sent out. But the “church” isnt confined in the four walls of a building. The church is the body of believers and we need to get out of our comfort zones and be “the church” everyday everywhere.

Church is a hospital for the broken

I was A Mormon til I went to hs. then I quit goin to church til i had my oldest daughter, i attend cma church when i can. I work n take care of kids. I dont think u always have to attend church on regular basis but can catch every now the lecture from the churchs website….

The fact, God is everywhere He hears and sees us with each breath we take. I feel church to me is where we go to learn to be better at being aware of God’s promises and His word. We can’t be a a Christian part time! With God it is ALL or nothing…you get to choose. Church is just a learning tool and our pastors do a great job at apply daily lifestyles to God’s promise to us!

Do not forsake the gathering together….what does that mean to you.

Church should be like Acts 2:43-47. Sadly this is not the case.

I have attended church most of my life and never ever saw myself leaving. I honestly was shocked when I found the need to leave for a season and seek God about the challenges my family was going thru and finding that knowledge about God seemed to be more worshipped than God Himself in many churches today. I asked God to show me what I was believing that wasn’t true and what I found was astounding. We meet with a small group of believers that worship Jesus and allow God to love them so that then we can love others. It is amazing what was accomplished on the cross and through the resurrection. I feel FREE to experience the gifts and inheritance that He has left for us and it has been INCREDIBLE! It is no longer about me but about Jesus! That is what the New Covenant Gospel is ALL about. Most churches don’t seem to realize that we are NOW under the NEW Covenant which was brought forward by the resurrection. The teachings of Jesus in the gospels was under the Old Covenant. Jesus was born under the law. His death and resurrection FREED us from the law & gifted us with His Righteousness. Not because we deserved it but because Jesus knew this this kind of love would be the ONLY thing that would compel us and complete us. He said it is FINISHED and I am now believing it’s true! His love still amazes me and is bigger than I ever could have imagined. I am not opposed to church but if it is not preaching the Good news of the Gospel of Grace then it is not good & life giving news! Thanks for asking and giving me an opportunity to share about the Love

I’ve thought about how to answer this and not have people wonder about me, lol. For me it’s a two part answer and certainly not a set in stone answer. Church should be, and often is, a place to gather together for learning/encouragement/teaching/equipping so we are ready to head back into this life. It’s also a place that, in some ways, has become another club to fill our time.

For me…it has been a place that people who judge hide behind. It has been a place that seems to allow people who do not walk daily in gods path to do it once a week and feel better about themselves. For this very reason I don’t attend church. I pray everyday and I do my best to walk in gods path, but because I’m not always great at it, I fear church and a gathering of large followers because of judgment. What does that say about the churches I’ve been to? Not great, but I haven’t stopped seeking one in hopes of finding one that attempts to follow what they preach about. Until then…I continue to live my life in gods path at home and out in public.

I myself was never brought up with a life of going to church, my parents are not bad people because of this, I think they wanted us to figure out what we need and what is for us in life. I have been with friends growing up. I have always believed in God, I just never thought you needed to attend a building to prove I believed in him. Well my life has changed quite dramatically within the last couple months, this is a change that was going to happen. After we moved I found myself out of sorts, and realizing that I was being called/or more like talked to silently that I needed more than just the understanding that God and I share. So I have been trying to gather the courage to attend a building that will have individuals inside to teach me more about God and his way. Anyways. Trying to put myself out there…..A little at a time. Haha Not even sure I answered a question.

I’m in a unique position of having been on staff at churches pretty much from the point I could call myself an adult till the present. I confess there have been times when I’ve wondered “If I wasn’t on staff at a church–what would I do?” That’s why this thread is interesting to me. I appreciate the candid responses. I believe that if we are “not to forsake gathering together” then there must be something that can happen in a gathering that cannot happen alone. That seems logical to me and I have witnessed it. I believe there is power, encouragement and motivation when a group of people come together honestly and humbly before God. The song “Love Came Down” says it so well: “I remind myself of all that You’ve done, and the life I have because of Your Son.” I think that is what church is for–a regular reminding of our souls. We are human–we all have emotions, will and intellect. I think church should help align us on all of those levels. We need to be able to connect–as fully integrated humans–with the story of grace and with the family of God. We need to be able to connect emotionally and intellectually–soul and mind.

Churches these days are more museums of perfection than sanctuaries for the broken.
And heaven forbid you look or act different or happen to love the wrong person.

It’s not a building, If you’ve given your heart to the Lord then your a part of the Church Family. The church building is where the family meets to be connected with each other. It’s place where the hurting can come and ask for help and not be judged or criticized. It’s a place where we can unite with one heart and worship our Lord who gave His life for us.

My Pastor once said this during a sermon, and it has stuck with me. “Church is not a house for God’s saints, but a hospital for His sinners.”

Honestly, where else can you go and open your heart to God with friends and family and sing your lungs out, maybe cry a little, hear a good inspiring, challenging message, hug and encourage people and be convicted to go out in the world and be a blessing? Nowhere but church

I followed up with the question: In regards to my earlier post, I’m very interested in hearing from those of you who don’t go to church. There are no right or wrong answers to this. What do you think of church and why?

Here are the answers in reply:

I use to go to Sunday school growing up, got confirmed in 9th grade…was baptized @ 21. I believe in God, I pray, but I feel like being as he knows how I feel I don’t need to go to Church to believe….I enjoy the outdoor scenery he has created….that is my church!

I enjoy church for the message usually. I don’t feel like I would be condemned if I didn’t go as I know where my walk is with God and accepted Christ in my heart so long ago. I feel that the frustration about church is that everyone who goes is imperfect, however I have felt judged by many in church for years. Especially older people. Yes, I’m a sinner, yes, I still make mistakes, yes I know when I’ve done wrong… But when the tables are turned, I really try to accept everyone for who they are as Jesus did. I went to a youth group when I was younger and had a youth pastor who was unmarried and in his mid 30’s. He made sexual passes at my best friend and I and said some very inappropriate things to us. When we confronted the church about it (and it was not CMA) they did nothing but slap him on the wrist. There has been quite a few things that I have experienced in church life. Some good, some bad. Bottom line, I have never found a place where I felt so comfortable that I could call it my home church. I hope I can experience it someday as I do enjoy church. In fact, I really enjoy the CMA, but my fiancé feels very out of place there and people that go there know him from his past and still seem to pass judgement on who he used to be. That makes it frustrating as I love it there but he just feels way too uncomfortable there. Main point is, God is awesome and no matter where I am, I know who my Saviour is and I know where I’m going when I die. I’m grateful for being brought up in church and I want the same for my kids.

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The thing that surprised me the most about all of the comments I received is that not one of them, not a single one mentioned hypocrites. In all honesty, I expected that to be a top response. I know I’ve heard it numerous times, “I don’t go to church because the church is full of hypocrites”. And you know what? It is. Now if you are reading this and are now fully offended because you go to church and you’re getting ready to jump on your high horse to defend the church, don’t worry, this post is not about bashing the church, it’s about shedding some light on the truth about the church.

I titled this post “The Church is Full Of. . .” because I’m sure we could all finish that sentence with a different word, and we would most likely all be correct. The church is full of. . .hypocrites, judgement, liars, cranky people, sinners, saints, hurting people, healed people, leaders, followers, cynics, cliques, gossip, slander, worship, encouragement, faith, fellowship, family. Yes, the church is full of all of these things, and you know why? Because the church is full of people; humans. Christians, unbelievers, those somewhere in between, doubters, prayer warriors, ex-cons, drunkards, doctors, lawyers, teachers, preachers, tax collectors, people. The church is a motley crew of humans to say the least.

You may be asking, “Are you talking about the church universal or the local church?” and my answer would be, yes. When I say church, I mean both your home church, the local church and the church as the body of Christ, since that’s what they all are. If you have accepted God to be the Lord of you life, you are part of the body of Christ, the church. Now here’s where it gets messy.

As soon as you accept Jesus into your heart you are “saved”, you are a child of God, made righteous in His sight because of the blood of Jesus that was shed for us on the cross. But does that mean that you are instantly perfect? Do all of your human faults, failures, struggles, bad habits, magically disappear all of a sudden and you no longer sin ever again because you are now a Christian? Is that what that means? No. Being a Christian is a daily walk with God, daily giving Him our struggles, our sin, our faults and allowing Him to change us to be more like Him.

This is where the church comes in. For those of you who thought by the questions that I posed yesterday on Facebook and this post that I am somehow challenging the theology of the church, let me assure you, I am not. I am simply discussing something that has been on my heart for quite some time, the misconception of church. The Bible is clear that God established the church (Matt. 16:18), that we as the church are the body of Christ (1Cor. 12:1-31, and as an extra note, the chapter that follows this is what is known as the “Love Chapter”, coincidence, I think not:) ). And to quote the scripture that was quoted to me more than once yesterday in the replies and is used over and over to “defend” why people need to go to church, Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Now before I go any further, let’s talk about this scripture, Hebrews 10:24-25. If you look at the whole of Hebrews chapter 10, it is addressing a call to persevere in the faith. Perhaps written to Jews who were considering returning to Judaism, Hebrews chapters 8-10 clearly discuss the “old covenant” and the “new covenant”, or in other words, living under the law and rules of the old way of doing “church” versus living in the new covenant, the freedom that came through Jesus Christ and His death and resurrection. The people in the church of that day were still struggling with the fact that they no longer needed to offer daily sacrifices for their sins as they were accustomed to doing because Jesus died on the cross as the ultimate sacrifice. What’s interesting to me is that the verses used to communicate the importance of gathering together (ie. Church), Hebrews 10:24-25 is sometimes used as a “rule” for Christians when in fact it is in the middle of a passage talking about being freed from the need for “rules and regulations” regarding sacrifices. If we are truly a part of the body of Christ, we will desire to meet together! If we are in deed walking daily with God, seeking Him, reading His word, willing to be changed to be more like Him, we will desire to meet together, we will seek the encouragement of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Notice also the verses that follow Hebrews 10:25, that discuss consciously continuing in sin once we have a full understanding of God’s truth. This is where I think we hit the problem on the head.

The word I heard over and over yesterday in the responses that I got to my question was “judgement”. And yesterday wasn’t the first time I’ve heard this. Friends let me tell you, Christians and those who have yet to come to know God both often face judgement or feel as though they are being judged when they go to church. And I can’t disagree with them. I know I’ve felt it, I’ve been the recipient of it and if I’m being completely honest with you I have also been the one passing judgement. Shock, horror, gasp. I know. But you know you have too. We have all looked down our ugly noses of judgement on someone else in the church. Why? Because we are people, we are human. That is why God gave us clear instructions to let HIM alone be the judge. Matthew 7:1-2 couldn’t say it more plainly, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Let me put it into perspective a little clearer for you. Maybe you’re thinking that you’re the one being judged and that you haven’t judged anyone. And maybe you are being judged, it’s highly likely, like I said, the church is full of people, imperfect human people. But here’s deal, if you are feeling judged, you are probably judging back, and if you are judging someone, you are probably being judged back. Judging and being judged go hand in hand. For instance (and this is strictly hypathetical) a young woman walks into a church with her child, no father in the picture and she is looked at by an older women as they walk through the lobby of the church. The are no “hellos” exchanged, no smiles. The only thing they have in common at this point? Judgement, or the fear of it. The young women sees the older women looking at her and she instantly feels judged because of her situation. The older women may be judging, or maybe she just is taking in the situation. She’s old, her eyesight is fading, her responses have slowed through the years. She isn’t quick to hold out her hand or say hello, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. She’s tired. She feels the young women think that she is judging her and continues on walking because what is she going to do about it? She doesn’t even know her. Scenario two: you have been going to church your whole life. You know the bible, you love God, you go to church weekly. But in your opinion (and it may or may not be true) the church is failing in it’s duty to love the poor and needy, to care for the widows and orphans. So you judge. You judge all of those in the church who are failing to do what Christians are called to do. But in your judgement, are you not also failing to do what Christians are called to do? I could keep going all day long with hypothetical scenarios but the point is we’re probably all been the recipient of judgement and we’ve probably also as some point been the issuer of judgement. Remember what Hebrews 10:24-25 said, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Encouragement, not judgement. Judgement is reserved for one and One alone, God, the King of Kings, who alone can see into the hearts of men and women, who alone knows our thoughts and our motives, our histories and our current situations and our future. God alone has the ability to judge because God alone is perfect.

That brings me to my next point. When we decide to pass judgement it is often out of past or present hurt, our own insecurity, lack of understanding and/or fear. For instance, yesterday when I posted the question one of the responses that I got I almost instantly took offense to. I had to read it again, take it in and take a step back. The response was from a dear friend of mine and read like this:

Do not forsake the gathering together….what does that mean to you.

I knew that the question I had posted offended her in some way and in reading her response I quickly jumped on the defensive. Perhaps she thought I was challenging the validity of the church, I’m not sure, but I responded to her letting her know that my intent was purely to hear people’s thoughts on church. What she replied back brought me to tears. “Because of health I have felt empty and alone”. Perspective. In reading that sentence I instantly gained a whole new perspective to her response, her comment, her situation. My initial response to get defensive to her first comment was an emotional reaction, based on feeling, not fact. But in reading the reason behind her first comment through her second response I gained correct perspective. You see this friend of mine is older and has cancer. She has been home sick recovering from a recent bout of pneumonia. She is a widow and is home alone. My question hurt her and so her initial response was out of hurt and loneliness. She understands church as a family far better than most of us ever will. To her church is more than a gathering of people once a week, it is truly her family and when she is unable to meet with her family she feels lonely. Why can’t we all long to come together as a church family as my dear friend longs for it. We make excuses, we come up with our own “versions” of church, perhaps because we have been hurt by a church or by people in a church (and if you haven’t been hurt yet, trust me, it’s only a matter of time, churches are full of imperfect people, remember?), perhaps because you feel like church just takes up time, or perhaps you have never experienced church. But if we all experienced church like my friend does, as a family coming together to love one another, care for one another, pick each other up when we are down, to rally around each other when we are hurting, to take each other to the doctors when we can’t drive because of the chemo, to gather around each other and pray when we are sick, to love each other, I’m pretty sure we’d all be running to church as often as we possibly could.

Friend, that is what church is meant to be. Church is meant to be family. All families are made up of a crazy mix of people. There’s the aunt who won’t stop pinching your cheeks even though you’re in your 30’s, the crazy uncle, the grandma who never stops fussing over the meal even though everyone is going to devour it no matter what, the grandfather who has more stories to share than ears that will listen, the cousins running around causing all kind of chaos, the brothers and sisters bickering and then hugging and then bickering and then hugging again, the mother and fathers leading, disciplining and loving. We are meant to be like a family, load and chaotic, but full of love, appreciation, encouragement, laughter, praise, discipline, tears, joy, hurt, victory. We are meant to love and encourage each other. All of us. That doesn’t mean that we will all be exactly the same. Families are made up of different people, just as the body of Christ is made up of many parts. We all have a place. It’s when the arm (we’re talking about the church as the body of Christ now if you didn’t catch that) starts looking at the leg and telling it to look more like an arm that we have a problem. I don’t want to be part of a four armed no-legged body, do you?

Now there’s one other thing that I want to address. More than one person mentioned in their response to my questions that the church is meant to be a hospital for the sick, or something along those lines. The church should be full of hurt, sick, and broken people, BUT (and this is a big one) is should also be full of healed and healthy people, mature Christians. Hospitals is a place where healing happens (or is meant to). If churches are only full of the sick and broken, the lost and hurting, then who is going to help them be healed? Who is going to guide them to health? When we accept Christ into our lives we then have the responsibility to allow Him to continually change us to be more like Him. Take all of the letters in the Bible for example, Romans, the Corinthians, Galations, Ephesians, Phillippians, Colossians, the Thessalonians, the Timothy’s, they were written giving instructions to specific churches. These letters brought encouragement but also addressed issues of sin in many of the churches that needed to be addressed. Once we have given our lives to Christ and made Him Lord of our life, we cannot continue to live as we did before we were Christ followers. Christ is not broken, He is whole and perfect. We must allow Him to change us to be more like Him daily. We cannot expect to ask God into our lives and then lives exactly as we please, that’s not how it works. Our church buildings should be full of people seeking healing, love, forgiveness, acceptance, but they also must be full of people pouring out love, extending grace, accepting everyone with open arms of love. If the church is doing it’s job, to reach the lost and make disciples, the hurt and broken shouldn’t stay hurt and broken, they should become the healed and restored through the grace and power of God.

I know this is a lot to take in, and I’m not an expert in church theology, I’m not claiming to be, but I do know that the Word of God is clear on how we are to act as Christians. Love. So whether you have gone to church your entire life or whether you have never graced the doors of a church, let me leave you with this, The Church is Full Of. . .broken people, restored people, hurting people, healed people, skeptical people, faithful people, God’s love, grace and forgiveness. The Church Is Full of God’s love, grace and forgiveness. Maybe you’ve never gone to church, why not give it a try! Who doesn’t want to be part of a big crazy family?! Or maybe you left the church a long time ago because you were hurt, why don’t you consider going back? Pray about it, truly, ask God what He would have you do, He established the church, remember? If He created it it probably has a purpose. And if you one of those who goes to church every time the doors are open, awesome! Let me encourage you to make sure that you are the love, grace and forgiveness that everyone who comes through those doors, or encounters on the street or in the grocery store or in the office cubicle or school hallways encounters!

I want to leave you with one of my very favorite passages of scripture. It paints a beautiful picture of what the church is meant to look like:

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of Godis coming.[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew,circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do,whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:3-17

Wife, Mother, Homemaker. . .Turtle Saver?

I was at work today and my dear husband calls me. “Do you have time to drive to Magalia right now?” he asks. Mind you, I’m at work, and in the middle of planning a Women’s Conference that is to take place in less than two weeks and Magalia is about a 30 minute drive from the office and I have to pick the kids up at school in 20 minutes so of course my answer was NO.

“I can’t come right now, I need to pick up the kids from school in a bit. Why do you need me to come to Magalia?” I asked.

“I found a big tortoise or turtle in the middle of the road that I almost hit with my work truck so I put it in my truck so it wouldn’t get run over. I went to the houses nearby and nobody is claiming it. Can you come and get it?” my husband replied.

Today is the only day during my week that I don’t any running around to do in the afternoon. No soccer practice to go to, no gymnastics to run my daughter to, no errands to run, just a nice fairly relaxing afternoon to help the kids get all their homework done and pay bills. Turtle rescuing was definitely NOT on my agenda today. So what do I do?

“I’ll come get the turtle from you as soon as I get the kids from school,” I said.

So I picked up the kids from school and while I’m sitting in the parking lot waiting to pull out, a lady in her Subaru backs right into me, blegh. I hop out of the van, check the bumper, it’s just a scuff mark, yippee! Disaster avoided! The lady apologizes and we both hop back into our cars and head out.

I call my husband, find out where he is and the kids and I meet him in a parking lot and he hands over the goods. . .a fairly big and very muddy turtle in a box. The kids are ecstatic as you can imagine. “Can we keep him?!” they exclaim. And my answer again to this situation, “No. . . but we will take him and find him a new home.”

Awww, it’s he just the cutest little mudball you’ve ever seen?!

The kids and I and Susie the turtle (as my five year old daughter has now affectionately named it) drive to the local pet shop to find out what kind of turtle he is and where we should take him. The pet shop workers were pretty impressed at how big he was and informed us that he is a Western Painted Turtle and agreed with me that he would probably be happy living at the “Duck Pond” a local pond in town ducks and other turtles.

At this point I had hoped to be home relaxing, maybe having a cup of coffee, but instead we were off to our next destination; the “Duck Pond”.

The kids and I and Susie the turtle exited the van and with the large box in hand we headed over the the duck pond. My son Landon carefully picked up Susie from the box and almost before he could put her on the ground she was off! I don’t care what people say, turtles are pretty fast!!! At least this one was. Off the gravel and into the pond Susie went. She happily swam off and began exploring her (if she’s a her) new home. A very nice older couple sitting on a nearby bench praised my kids for doing such a nice thing to save the turtle as my children rambled off the entire story to them.

Landon carefully releasing “Susie” into the wild

So why did I feel the need to share the “Adventures of Susie the turtle” with you today? Well, first of all because I thought it was hilarious. Seriously, how many of your husbands have called you with the emergency to “come pick up this turtle I saved.” But more importantly, because even though it wasn’t in my schedule today to save a turtle, it was fun! It might have been a waste of gas driving around town, but my kids haven’t stopped talking about “saving the turtle” yet. I’m pretty sure they will always remember the day we saved Susie and it was much more important for me to make that memory with them today than it was for me to sit on my couch and have a cup of coffee. Listening to the joy in my kids voices as they recalled the whole experience to the sweet old couple on the bench at the “Duck Pond” made every minute worth it! (except maybe getting backed into by the Subaru, but that wasn’t Susie’s fault)

C’mon, I know you’d take time out of your day to save this cute little mug as well:)

Supermom: Nailed It

So in the past year I’ve had a handful of people ask me how I do everything that I do; work, be a wife, a mom, keep my house together, run kids around to soccer, baseball, gymnastics, whatever, etc. They were implying that I have it all together, but let me let you in on a little secret. . .I’m not a supermom. In fact, in some areas of motherhood I’m a pretty unsupermom. But you know what? That’s okay.

Every now and then I like to browse Pinterest, but to be completely honest, if you look at my pinterest boards, I’ve only ever tried 4 or 5 things that I have pinned and I have over 400 items pinned! I was recently introduced to the section of Pinterest that is referred to as “nailed it”. If you haven’t checked it out you really should, it’s very amusing. “Nailed It” is where pinterest pinners try a pin they have found and repin their results and some of them are hilarious. These are a couple of my favorites.

So what does “nailed it” have to do with my supermom abilities? Well, that’s pretty much where I belong, in the “nailed it” category of pinterest. For instance, throwing kids birthday parties, I’m the worst pinterest mom ever for this because I really don’t like throwing birthday parties. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and celebrating their wonderful birthdays, but I don’t want to make a cake (or fancy cake pops), put together goodie bags, or create a whole party around a theme. For the past 3 years (and my kids are only 5 and 7) I have given them 3 choices of where they can have their birthday, none of which are at our house; the gym, the skating rink, or the gymnastics facility. Why these 3 choices? Well, all of these facilities provide everything needed for a birthday party, all I have to do is provide the kids and the money to pay for it! This year my son picked the skating rink. Even the party invitations would have made it on the “nailed it” list because they were an email, not an ecard mind you, an email saying where and when the party would be. And the goodie bags? Well, I gave each kid a handful of tokens and let them have at it with the video games at the skating rink. I didn’t even make the cake, the rink provided that too. All we had to do was show up, have fun and leave. I may not have provided a party themed top to bottom with an interactive menu, games and prizes to match my theme but it didn’t seem to matter. I’m pretty sure all the kids had fun, I had no stress and all that really matters is that my son had a good birthday and he did! If you ask me, I NAILED IT!

By the way, I’m not dissing all you moms who throw super fantastic over the top themed birthday parties for your kids, you’re amazing! But I’m amazing too, in my own “nailed it” sort of way:)

Making dinner is another area of my life where I regularly fit into the “nailed it” category. If NOT cooking dinner more than 4 nights a week made me a supermom then I would most definitely be wearing a cape and sporting my super powers. Between work, running my kids around to sports, running errands and whatever else finds it’s way into our lives (and it’s summer, we’re not even dealing with homework yet people!) I’m pretty sure we eat out at least 2 maybe 3 (or 4) nights a week. I’m really working on this one though. I’m really good at making eggs and toast for dinner! If that was a pinterest post then I’ve got that one down for sure! And it doesn’t help that I’m not really that good of a cook. In fact, for the first 5 years of my married life, I’m pretty sure I burnt at least one part of our meal every time I attempted to cook. And adding kids to the mix doesn’t really make it much easier. Our dinner repertoire that I actually cook is probably only 6 or 7 different meals. But you know what? We’re all still alive and relatively healthy. We eat plenty of fresh fruits (well at least my hubby and kids, I prefer chocolate to fruit) and not enough veges but that’s okay. We all get three meals a day plus snacks so I’d say I “nailed it” when it comes to feeding my family!

Frozen yogurt counts as dinner, right?

So, sorry to disappoint any of you who may had been disillusioned into thinking that I was some sort of Supermom. I’m not, I’m just a normal human being. I’m not Martha Stewart, my house is often a mess, some of my meals may come from the freezer section, I don’t make cute crafty things for my house (well, maybe on a very rare occasion), but I do have kids who know they are loved and who love me back, a husband who loves me just the way that I am, even when I attempt to cook and burn dinner, and a house that is clean enough. If you ask me, I think I’ve “nailed it”!

My Open Book Life

by christina souther