This is a story for anyone who has ever moved house, is contemplating doing so, or who simply enjoys browsing Rightmove to see what is currently on the market. Although told as a story, the story is true. It is a memoir recounted by the author about the time she and her husband decided to move out of London and the home they had made their own over more than three decades. Habits had changed and they now wished to live closer to the area where they spent much of their time.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that moving house in England is a stressful experience. The chains formed by sellers and buyers are unstable, reliant as they are on the whims of those within them, and therefore easily broken. Every required step of such a move – surveys, solicitors, taxes, moving fees – are a drain on capital. And that is before the snags of a house are uncovered and costs to put right guessed at.
Roz and Dave Morris made the decision to go house hunting in the winter after Covid.
“When the lockdowns end, many people emerge with life-changing epiphanies. This is ours. Our two-part life is absurd. For the time it takes, the money, the carbon footprint and the freedom that we have learned is fragile.”
They put their house on the market. They find buyers who, amazingly, have sold their property and are willing to rent until the Morris’s find a place they are happy to move into. And yet this is where the real problems begin.
The story is one of houses and their importance in our lives. They are not just places of shelter but also custodians of personal tastes and memories. Occupants stamp their mark on a place: the colour painted on the walls; the statement fixtures and fittings; the strangely designed extensions that must have made sense to whoever originally commissioned them. Roz does not expect perfection and has money put aside for remedial work as every house will have issues. The biggest issues, however, turn out to be the sellers who tend to view their homes through a rose tinted lens despite the fact they wish to leave them.
Houses are bought and sold through intermediaries known as estate agents. They work on commission so are eager for sales to happen. This can mean they are not always open about sharing information. Offers are made only to be rejected for being too low, or because another buyer has been preferred. A short time later this buyer mysteriously vanishes and Roz is told that for just a small increase her offer would be accepted. Then the buyer changes his mind and the acceptance is withdrawn. They may come back a few weeks later and none of this is satisfactorily explained by the agent.
The book focuses on around half a dozen houses that Roz seriously considered. The reasons why each were not in the end purchased is covered with wry wit and an increasing knowledge of the games that can be played by agents in order to push through a sale. In amongst these details are memories of other houses Roz has lived in and their importance in the history she has built around her life. When a house becomes a home it wraps itself around the family who live their and the friends invited in. The older the house the more its walls, and the land it is built on, hold the shadows and history of residents who have passed through.
As time passes agents start blaming Roz and Dave for not trying hard enough, for not moving into houses that still need to be checked over to ensure they are not seriously unsound. The story offers a warning to those who may feel rushed and pressurised, ending up with a white elephant. Yet it is told with humour as well as candour. The associated anecdotes are entertaining.
The writing flows and remains always engaging, helped by the chosen structure of mostly short chapters. Readers will become invested in whether the couple can find their next home before their buyers lose patience and pull their offer. Despite the mentions of friends who managed to sell and buy within the months covered, the book may prove enough to put off any but the most determined from ever trying to move house again!
An enjoyable read with its light hearted approach to what is such a stressful experience. The denouement offers food for thought on where the grass may actually be greener and what gives a home its worth.
Turn Right At The Rainbow is published by Spark Furnace and may be purchased from Waterstones and other good bookshops.











