Mwt Nut ~ YeYe Yemonja

a cross-cultural love letter to two of my Mothers.

mother wisdom speaks

a former coworker gifted me and some others with this poem almost two years ago...it was beautiful then, but it has really special meaning for me now.

Mother Wisdom Speaks
by Christine Lore Webber
from All Will Be Well

Some of you I will hollow out.
I will make you a cave.
I will carve you so deep the stars will shine in your darkness.
You will be a bowl.
You will be the cup in the rock collecting rain.

I will hollow you with knives.
I will not do this to make you clean.
I will not do this to make you pure.
You are clean already.
You are pure already.

I will do this because the world needs the hollowness of you.
I will do this for the space that you will be.
I will do this because you must be large.
A passage.
People will find their way through you.
A bowl.
People will eat from you
and their hunger will not weaken them unto death.
A cup to catch the sacred rain.

My daughter, do not cry. Do not be afraid.
Nothing you need will be lost.
I am shaping you.
I am making you ready.

Light will flow in your hollowing.
You will be filled with light.
Your bones will shine.
The round, open center of you will be radiant.
I will call you Brilliant One.
I will call you Daughter Who Is Wide.
I will call you Transformed.

peeking in...

wow...i didn't realize it's been almost a month since i wrote here.

on the other hand, i feel like i've lived a lifetime over the last couple of weeks, so random blogging kinda fell off the agenda.

i've taken my spirituality to a new level and gained a new family.

i've been gifted with a love sweet and delicate as a newborn. instead of being lovers, i often feel like we're devoted parents determined to see "our baby" thrive.

i am, once again, at the beginning of something. several somethings, even.

and i am grateful.

full moon gratitude

ain't got much money on this friday, but i am feeling quite grateful for what i have got:

breath and life in my body

an understanding of reasons, seasons and lifetimes

friends and family

the willingness and ability to learn, grow and expand

health and strength

sound mind

love/loving

i am blessed, and trying my best to be a blessing. that's what i'm holding on to today.

church.

i recently discovered the daily love through a sistafriend, and today's email was just...wow.

Love everyone as best you can, but only invest in people who invest in you.


Your heart and dreams are precious things, they should be in hands of people who will help to guide them, protect them and nurture them.


As you embark out into the unknown on the Journey of your Dreams choose wisely your traveling mates. Your team and who you surround yourself with is one of the most important decisions you can make and a great influence on whether you will complete the journey successfully.


Treasure your dreams, follow them with trust and surround yourself with only the best.


Don't think twice about dropping the rest.

coming to the place in life where you can see this, feel this, know this...and live it...that place is a wonderful, invaluable gift; one that can never be taken away unless you choose to close your eyes.

choosing to keep mine wide open is the best decision i've made.

is it easy? hell emphatically no.  but it's real, clear, and keeps me on the road to my destiny.   

this is what i'm grateful for today.

another hallelujah moment...

they just keep on coming...

marked

i've noticed that folks seem mesmerized, surprised, wary or otherwise curious about my serpent tattoo.

i understood the issues that might arise around the design when i was led to it, particularly since it's my most visible tattoo to date.  i thought about how the snake's gotten a bad rep in this culture, what with the whole temptation of eve thing, yadda yadda. to be honest, i'm grateful i haven't gotten many outright inquiries from strangers.

still, serpent's story goes much deeper than eden, particularly for african and other indigenous people, and i knew it went much deeper for me.  

if you've been reading for awhile, you know i've written about my spiritual relationship with serpents. in the last few years, that understanding has widened and deepened, and all i can do is stand in gratitude for its role in my evolution.  

over the years, i've learned that serpents have always been friends of the goddess, symbols of sacred wisdom, rebirth, and resourcefulness.  when you consider the development of the major three western religions and what they needed to suppress in order to spread, flourish, and--let's face it--control, you can understand why the serpent had to be denied its prominence. 

Healthy snakes usually have little or no difficulty with shedding and tend to shed their skins in one entire piece. Exceptions to this include snakes with injuries to the skin and/or scales resulting in scarring, and snakes housed in enclosures with suboptimal temperature and/or relative humidity levels.


The stresses associated with shedding can be substantial. Sick snakes, those suffering from malnutrition, or those whose health has been directly or indirectly compromised by poor husbandry experience delayed and incomplete sheds. These snakes tend to shed their skins in pieces. In fact, many of the pieces remain adhered to the underlying skin and eyes (retained eye caps).


The shedding process is preceded by a period of relative inactivity. This period usually lasts 1-2 weeks, during which time the eyes begin to exhibit a dull, bluish-white appearance. During this period, the snake's vision is impaired, which causes them to be rather unpredictable and sometimes aggressive. The skin during this period tends to have an overall dull appearance. The underlying new skin is soft and vulnerable to damage while the outer layers prepare to slough away. (source)

...now think about that symbolically, emotionally; what it would mean to manifest this lesson while inhabiting a human form.

this is the gift in studying animals you are attracted to or that show up in your dreams.  it's what should always be in the back of your mind while you're watching pbs or enjoying "shark week".

refuse to stop at the "scientific" level.  go deeper.     

snakes--although worthy of respect because of their potential danger to humans--are not any more evil than any other creature. they are bearers of a particular kind of wisdom, as are all animals. that is why we all share this earth-space.

our four-legged, scaled and winged relations are living, breathing illustrations of nature's beauty, diversity, and conscious design--just as humans are.  

examine what you've been taught to demonize.  question what you idolize.  you might surprise yourself.

green cleanse: day 7

breakfast: orange juice w/ chlorophyll, kiwi/grape fruit salad

lunch: romaine lettuce "boats" stuffed with spinach & avocado spread* (pic)

dinner: spinach pasta tossed with fresh pesto, zucchini "fries"

last night was rough. i wanted eggs this morning, honestly. i love spinach/avocado omelettes...

but i'm hanging in.

tomorrow i'm sure i'll have to make some substitutions, but i'll get back on track monday.

i decided not to eat at all last night, just had a glass of mango nectar and some water and vegged out with a movie.  my body felt tired, but not hungry.  did some freewriting as well.

i'm feeling VERY emotional right now. wanting to cry, love, understand, grow....feel. my heart is slowly, gently opening.

the first rush of feeling is always jumbled...confusion is normal, although frustrating.  i just have to push past this and into the clarity...

i know now that i'm doing this at the right time for the right reasons.


*very simple:

1 avocado
sea salt
blk pepper
a dash (or more) of dried red pepper
lemon or lime juice (about 1 tsp)
1 clove garlic (finely chopped)

mash the avocado, mix w/ seasoning, garlic & citrus juice, and spread! also yummy on sandwiches.

mid-cold gratitude

my "summer" kinda sucks so far.

after a 2-day meeting at work, i was all ready to come into my 4 day weekend with a bang.

i did. or, at least my sinuses did.  the bad sort of bang. 

but, in the spirit of not complaining, i tried to think of the good in being stuck in bed for a few days.  that started with a couple of status updates on facebook. an extended version follows.

gratitude in illness

i'm inspired to own more kaftans. they're ridiculously comfy!

the weather's held out. it's been comfortably cool the last few days...barely even need a fan. i don't know WHAT i would have done if i had to be stuck in here in 90-100 degree weather.

i have a vision for my ori altar.

i made a yummy pot of soup for myself - even though i barely tasted it.

had some great, extended phone conversations.

although it REALLY sucks that i missed her & janelle monae, i'm glad i didn't buy advance tickets to the erykah concert. i probably would have been more miserable if i'd gone.

truce

i wound up speaking with him...i probably shouldn't be surprised, considering mercury's retrograde.

although it began awkwardly, the timing was actually perfect in its own way. and the ancestors held my hand through the whole thing.

it's nice to see that chapter coming to a close in such an unexpectedly peaceful way. especially when there's so much in front of me.

pushing forward...

gratitude

yesterday, it was hard to sit still while i ate my lunch.

i was nearly overwhelmed with gratitude.

i was raised to say grace, so while i often consider those who are poor and/or hungry when i eat my meals, this is probably the first time i was grateful for the actual act of eating.

the texture of the food...
the smells...
chewing...more texture, more tastes....

easing it down my throat, knowing it would give me strength to go on with the rest of the day.

in the wake of the sheer loss of life in ayiti, i became acutely aware of the gift of possessing spirit AND flesh, and the gifts inherent in that.

spirit lives all around us, protects and blesses us. but it is an honor and a privilege to be in the flesh. to feel, to love, to work, to BE.

...and to eat.

our diverse shades, shapes, abilities and ways of being are all gifts.

if you are here, breathing, owning consciousness, living, you are saved. don't let anybody tell you different.

In the silence that followed, Baby Suggs, holy, offered up to them her great big heart…“Here,” she said, “in this here place, we flesh; flesh that weeps, laughs; flesh that dances on bare feet in grass. Love it. Love it hard. Yonder they do not love your flesh. They despise it…No more do they love the skin on your back. Yonder they flay it. And O my people they do not love your hands. Those they only use, tie, bind, chop off and leave empty. Love your hands! Love them! Raise them up and kiss them. Touch others with them, pat them together, stroke them on your face ‘cause they don’t love that either. You got to love it, you! And no, they ain’t in love with your mouth. Yonder, out there, they will see it broken and break it again.What you say out of it they will not heed…What you put into it to nourish your body they will snatch away and give leavins instead. No they don’t love your mouth. You got to love it.

~from toni morrison's beloved

today's gratitude

to ward off the insanity...

my cooking skills
sunshine
candles & altars
sister circles
my wits
dreams of grandmamas i never knew
fresh breezes
intuition
self love/self preservation
silent phone settings
breakthroughs. even painful ones.
farmer's markets
goddess oracle cards
incense
having just enough to get by
futureme.org

let me be grateful...

...before i kirk out up in here. i won't even get into it. let's just say all a sista wants to do right now is bleed in peace...

parents
words
email
quick im's in the middle of busy lives
cushy beds
trader joe's
hot baths
potato chips
friends you can call anytime
cheap gas
the forgiving nature of companion animals

today...

i am at home.
my home.
with my chosen scents and colors, my books and my familiar.

enjoying my kitchen.
eating my food.
savoring my appetite.

i have had the day to myself.
i have slept, awakened, bathed, and prayed in ways pleasing to myself.

i am full of myself
and life
and love.

and i am happy.

thank you for...

breakfast!
mornings @ work that feel like mornings @ home
green tea
body awareness
candles
cheap(er) gas
water
ori mi
incense
friends i can talk to on the drive home
pretty journals
love dreams

goddesspace III

long-time readers will be familiar with the evolution and incarnations of the goddesspace. it started out as a sort of eclectic, crystal-centric space devoted to the divine feminine.

phase two was lovely, but short lived. i never really took to the space, and the end of summer ushered in a strange, difficult phase.

so i started again. the initial idea was great, the execution mediocre.

just as i started to birth the space, money got tight and inspiration waned. but as i've been able to give name and form to the shifts i've been experiencing over the last few weeks, the fog lifted and i could finally give the space the time and attention it deserved (i'm sure the new moon energy didn't hurt, either)...

plenty of light, color, and quartz. triangles enhance energy.

feathers...beauty, expansion, warmth; a reminder to keep the spirit light and prepared for flight.

i'm hoping that this one will last at least as long as the first, if not longer.

self love #5

typically the "self love" posts are more about imagery than words, but inspiration led me to take some good but "too hot for blogger" shots, so i won't be going there.

but i can say that i gained a new appreciation for the ridges and ripples my lovers enjoy.

i got a view of my tummy that made me want to kiss it.

i learned that maybe i shouldn't be so critical of the slope of my breasts; they look very different from outside angles.

my thighs aren't as fat as i think they are.

twisted and turned a certain way, i am full of mountains, valleys, hills and waterfalls.

one shot put me in mind of a melting golden candle.

so, yeah. it's good to be me.

little things

getting out of bed at 11:30

pandora.com

dancing around the living room

kitchens

rose quartz salt baths

inspiration

honeyed french toast

raven's nests

hot tea

apple-cherry cider

fafinettes

river dreams

...i'm beginning to think i just needed a day all to myself. time to sleep and to dream. time to reconnect, revision, reset.

giving thanks...

no collectors calling me
self awareness
knowing when to buy a cookie for sanity's sake
rose quartz
culinary skills
fresh sheets
resourcefulness
sometimes just not giving a fk

blessed serendipity

it's been a rough few weeks, and the sudden onset of pms isn't helping.

i was feeling kinda blah this morning when i boarded the bus. but then i looked up and saw the full moon still high in the sky. the sunrise was at my back.

i briefly acknowledged and gave thanks for the sun's rainbow sherbert display, but turned back to the moon to ask for strength.

something in the cloud pattern took me back to august when i sat on the beach with yemonja. that morning, i could also see the moon and sun together.

almost immediately, i felt blessed beyond measure. my trials are simply an ebo, and it's temporary.

i will see the other side & be just fine.