Edified

If I could put into words

If I could depict my emotions

They’d sound and read like gibberish

Incompatible for any comprehension

Only esoteric divinity could decipher

There be some things undescribable

Experiences that seer into one’s soul

As traumas or drama painfully etched

Like sharing a beloved certain death

Tasting the low of bitterness in darkness

No, I think its best I not spoil your palate

Keep my experiences selfishly to myself

While you may disdain my chosen silence

You’d hate more, truths lingering…aftertaste

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Transposed

My sunny skies no longer bring warmth

Cloudless reminds me how empty I feel

I walk with a past chasing after me

But when I turn aback, I see nothing

Life isn’t how it’s supposed to seem

I often feel so out of place where I am

And I can’t figure out where that is

I’m left here in-between what is and was

Struggling to make slight sense of myself

But none of the fractures mend together

Too much is missing, too much was lost

But for my breaths, I wouldn’t know life

And yet it is life making me breathless

If only I could still live… love

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Personified

Far too up close and personal

For any life or one living with

I’ve heard and felt life’s fixed end

As I linger in its afterwards now

I still feel the eeriness of echoes

Casually drifting over the phone

Chilling both my soul and bones

Neither sound nor sense has left

But stays attached wherever I go

At times, the universe pushes back

Dominoes fall as empty paper bags

Despite the strength of their folds

But some folds are hidden creases

Modifying the aesthetics…of love

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Salience

Unlike willful ignorance of petulance

I accept reality for what it is, or isn’t

But unlike those who oft capitulate

I’m not so inclined to pretend otherwise

I do not like, nor will I accept the fate

That often turns my stomach sour

While I’m human I also sentir

Into the very deepest depths of my core

Where a whet fire in my soul burns

Where love serves as its oxygen

And where faith remains forever invisible

As time is a conduit of human construct

Nonetheless I step lighter after a loss

Though I freight a heavier… load

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Frayed

No new day feels like the old ones

And tenor of life has lost its flavor

I struggle subsisting without you

And I really miss you when it hurts

Brokenness may expand for some

But for some, fissures last forever

I suspect my life will feel very long

As I fumble throughout most nights

Each feeling hollower than the last

I talk to you so I can escape myself

Knowing I’ll not hear any response

Maybe I count on it far too often

I doubt a lot of things in life now

But even my faith adorns…wear

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Pierce

Typically inferred far too narrow

Assuming logic is the only metric

One can read or hear artful words

Shouted, whispered, or written

Implications in coded metaphors

Will often escape infirmed minds

Conflation is but laziness or fear

And honestly, maybe for some- both

I’ll frequently speak or write candidly

And all my implications are crafted

To prompt, invoke, or to reiterate

I leave the analyses to the readers

Who might recognize personally

As their own experiences… narrate

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Echt

I’ll not act as if I mastered grief

Nor will I reside life otherwise

The scar is patently obvious

And I’ll not ignore its presence

Nor of time’s plagued lessons

That follows me like a shadow

I’ll not performatively smile

So, others will feel more comfortable

Either they empathize, or they don’t

Their apocryphal is not of my concern

They are who they are, regardless

And I’ll remain changed by events

Those who intend to save me from myself

First failed to prevent…my grief

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Novice

Like unpredicted rising tides

Of my moody moonlit nights

My emotions become overrun

By my unsettled memory waves

Parts of me welcome the refreshment

But parts of me will suffer as well

Empty shores thirst and quenched

Often wear the bitter stain residual

Helpless to change the happenstance

I’m tugged betwixt the past and present

Secretly aching for a sweeter tomorrow

One I can dream of but not remanufacture

I’m beset by the outside circumstances

None of which I’m equipped to…master

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Landscapes

Degrees of separation start like fissures

Unnoticeable hairline shifting over time

Fissures may be infused lies or inferences

Justifying subsequent cracks into chasms

Partition often feeds fodder to darker egos

Where observants invent believable stories

Vacant echoes evoke the ignored emotions

Making a ghostly divide seem impossible

Only full truth filters the great magnitudes

As shadows creep throughout emptier days

As if they were secret, nefarious characters

And provide imagination’s with substance

To mix the manifestations into deceptions

As puppet masters do the…hidden strings

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Lackluster

Life tends to feel like an empty space

A blank stare upon a blank page

A place where everything used to exist

Now it’s converted into a fog of confusion

Where stirred emotions used to create breaths

Where color and varied hues used to matter

Where shadows left their lasting contrast

Where warmth was taken for granted

But now only radiant chills fill the air

Laughing echoes have disappeared

Gleaming smiles have vacated

Soft tomes of concern are missing

As I cling to my vivid memories

Of what life and love… once was

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