Things take time

Posted: March 19, 2019 in story over coffee
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Written at February 27 2011, Rende, Italia

This is exam season, it’s my logical reason for my absent in writing. Well, to be the truth, there is nothing really going on here, despite that I passed my exam with maximum mark :p. Others are just the same, the parties that I intentionally  missed, the cold lonely nights with coffee, music and books. The walk and the talk,  I still do. The coming and going of guys who keep trying and I keep refusing (of course). And my heart. She’s being very cooperative lately, maybe because I was torturing my brain more in balancing of my broken hearted, but whatever it is, I found them (both heart and brain) are survived. Or maybe I am simply a survivor that I barely known. And friends, ah surely they are the reason why I still be able to stand on my two skinny feet.

Time surely flies, it was just yesterday we celebrated the new year’s eve, and also it’s still in the back of my head how I was so down, I could not even think how I through those moments, but look at me now, it’s my smile decorate my face, this time I don’t disguise it with red lipstick.  Even in one day I woke up in the morning and searched my heart and asking to my self, “hei where are you? where is the heart which once broken down into pieces, are you still beating?” It’s not that I miss it, no, I just wonder how exactly the heart works, but then I knew, the broken hearted grows, because you have friends, who hold your hands, and the talks over coffee, over tea, over youtube, over soccer game, even over nothing, the walks in the 4 degrees temperature, the swing around huggies when your friend know you passed the exam, the simple greetings of good morning at 4 in the afternoon, the super silly jokes, the very late dinner, the purr of the cats, the everything that makes the wounded heart slowly stitched closed. And in the end, I know my heart will take me to another love when I am totally ready. I know I am being too careful, I know all my friends encourage me to fall again, with or without parachute is another story. But surely, there will be a right time to fall and to be landed. Because I believe everything will come at the right time, like now it’s not coincident that my radio playing the song with this lyric :

hey survivor
Don’t matter who you are
time ran so far away
and you must save your life
(we know you can do it now….)

Hey survivor
you’re gonna fly away
to the places you’ve been
many times with a friend
hey survivor,
don’t you be afraid
hey survivor,
we’re gonna fly away, there will be another day
hey survivor
you will fall in love again,
knockin’ on the door
you will think about the things
to say

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Fast forward to 19 March 2019, Werribee, Australia

It has been 8 years apart since that writing, when I reread it, I still can picture the situation and the memory, so vivid, yet when I reread the second time, I have come to realised, what I wrote that time surely happened.

It took more than 6 years, more up and downs, more broken hearted, more people come and gone, I still remember in those times in between, I felt so hopeless to the point “I don’t wanna try again” yet I kept going for some reason.

And here I am, 14,373 km away, totally ready, fall to someone and landed safely in his arms. Whatever it is, takes time.

Hang Loose

Posted: May 4, 2016 in story over coffee
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Cheers from us, Local Surfers. Having nice chat on a lazy Sunday evening.

Hang Loose.

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falling in love in a coffee shop

Posted: April 22, 2016 in story over coffee
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not necessarily to fall in love with a person but with a coffee shop itself. It was almost weekend and i just had a whole hectic days, be it a plan of moving to a new place (hopefully it will call home) and at the same time my brain works faster and more productive than it used to be and it practically drains me out.

So I dragged my self out from the house, (literally, since all my stuffs scattered around and i should walk extra carefully between all the cardboards) and drove to the town aimlessly. I spotted one small coffeeshop, looks homy with a wooden furniture which is my favourite. I’ve fallen in love with this place in no time. The coffee is good, the price is reasonable, and oh how I love local coffee in a local coffeeshop. And the churros is grand. And because the place is quite small, I found my self talk like an old friend with the barista. Kudos for the small business in a small town. So this is how I spend my almost weekend.

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How To Make a Change?

Posted: April 7, 2016 in story over coffee
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Nothing so special about this year, it has been passed whether or not you prepared of what’s coming. This morning I happened to blog-walking to some blogs for a change (cause I have not been so active recently on my blog, so being a silent reader at some points really refreshing). I was fascinated by one, in her post she mentioned about “sort of” her resolutions for this year. She changed about 80% of her life style. Being an early riser and does exercises regularly for about 30-45 minutes after her iced coffee morning ritual. She also mentioned by making a change for her self, she feels that she is more productive than she used to be and less of her times wasted. Then I have my “moment of silent” after reading her post. Her certain post. I used to have resolutions some years of stone ago, be it very cheesy one until the very serious one (note down that I never had resolution to go on diet) I did try to keep my resolution the whole year, such as “sitting side by side with my best friend on a plane headed to Europe”. We did eventually, not so long from our resolution’s made. With a twist (of course), we did sit side by side (in a train though!) for our journey across the Netherlands – Germany. We didn’t go together at the same time to Europe, we had our chance differently, my best friend happened to have her scholarship for master degree in the Netherlands, while I got mine in Italy a year after her. Then I and (she too) checked our resolution’s list, and move on to another one. But, as time goes by, lots of those resolutions are not kept; let’s say I was busy, busy struggling my life in Europe, busy surviving and trying to finish my thesis. Busy keeping up my relationship with errrhh an Italian hottie after a German geek (both not worked though), and all of sudden all resolutions seemed not important.

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Anyway, back to the blog-post I visited this morning, it struck me a bit, thinking how long have I live my life without any resolution nor any goals. How many times I have wasted. To analyze with whatever written in her blog post (though it’s not fair in one way or another), she was not a morning person who’s now becoming an early riser which start her day at 4:30 every f*cking morning, while me, I am a natural morning bird who wake up precisely at 4 or 4:30 in the morning, just because my biological clock tells my body to do so. And I drink my espresso religiously soon after I woke up. If I don’t have class in the morning (I have 3 classes in the morning in a week) surely I will be in my workout suit, to do some workout. I prefer to do it at home, cause it’s less time consuming, unless if I had a plan to swim, then I have to go to the sport center. After all those rituals, I start my day, check my appointment since I am in the middle of building a start-up with another best friend and do whatever in my schedule book. As a freelancer for this past 2 years, I am in and out of jobs in a flick of fingers. Which is I could be here in my city in the morning and in an aero plane / train heading to another city in the afternoon.

So here I am thinking, If changing life style at some points makes your life more effective not to mention productive, what about me who has been a natural morning person since your youngest siblings not even born, who has coffee ritual followed with a helluva of workout 5 times a week? (to brag a bit, I have lean muscles and nice ABS).

Should I do all the opposite to make a change?

hello 2016 …

Posted: January 4, 2016 in my black coffee, story over coffee
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This going to be my first post in 2016. Not so productive back then on 2015, I more posted pictures on my instagram account than writing here in wordpress. My life is somewhat okay, since I didn’t set some goals, the whole year was like going through day by day with all good and bad things. Meeting some new people, and ditching them at once 🙂 Having more friends at some points and lose one too.

The highlight of the year is of course having a chance to meet my bestfriend and had trip with her and had a lot of fun times together (which is including lazing around in a hotel room and practically doing nothing but laughing even we had no particular reason what we laughed about). Happiness is around the corner, over our coffee or simply on our gado-gado plates. Not so much tears to be shed when we had to be parted, not because we are stronger than before, but because we know we will meet again in only God knows where.

And I managed to have road trip by motorcycle from Java Island – Bali Island back to back, to climb the mountain, and back to the sea for a wave-seeking. And again just lazing around laying on the soft sand or to feel the salt air on my skin.

This is not about my achievement in a year, cause I don’t have any, this is about how I get through my life day by day. And how one can actually change mentally after doing so. I don’t have a note book with a check list in it, I don’t have a stable job. To be a freelancer is scary to some people, to me too. But to my surprise, I am survived, some times with good amount of money in my bank account, sometimes with very limited resources. But I managed to not have any loan or loan with the lowest interest or not at all. I don’t live a fancy life, and I am happy with the lesser things I posses, I am happy to be able to exercise 5 times a week and maintain my health. I am happy not all the time stuck in traffic on the way to work, but I am happy when I have some peak time of my work where coffee break is the only break I have. I don’t have so much regret recently, you can disagree about my life. You can tell me that I should be more organised and set some goals.  But thing people should know, that every goal is different to each person. There’s nothing wrong to have some goals or not to have any, or even to change your aim after half way. As someone who achieved bachelor degree in technical engineering and changed drastically on master degree for social science, working mostly 7 days a week to a freelancer, nothing really surprise me anymore. And I know I can achieve my any goal anywhere and with no certain time line. Cause, why I limit my self?

Happy 2016 !

 

Sandboarding

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Image  —  Posted: August 29, 2015 in Uncategorized

Oo dear You

Posted: July 26, 2015 in story over coffee
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I miss our conversation over coffee and that devil choco cake.

Talk about nothing and everything all at once. Talk about who you are and who I am.

Nothing fancy. Just life in general. A life that is not problem-free, but we’re happy with it.

We don’t have too much to ask, do we? We just do the things we love and to be closed to our beloved people. Be it friends, family or the special ones.

Have a daily routine to not being rotten. To have a safe place where we come home to. A home where we can share the laugh or the warmth of newly baked choco cake or your lasagna. Yes, your lasagna that you’re always proud to make one.

I secretly saying your name in my prayers, oo dear you. To every good things happen to you and wish I am one of them.

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What beneath under

Posted: June 19, 2015 in my black coffee, story over coffee
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Yes, you are cold like your weather

And I am hot for the sun in my mother

Why bother?

We don’t need to argue each other

For knowing what beneath under

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Dec 14th 06 one morning in J town

Extra Virgin

Posted: June 18, 2015 in story over coffee, the bitter the better coffee
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So I have this close friend, a 20 something years old guy, to be precised. We’re not friend-zoning each other, yet we have this mutual relationship. I like to cook and he loves to eat. He brews good coffee (he was a barista once in Hawaii) and I am a coffee addict. We traveled together, maybe thrice abroad and hundred times to supermarket nearby buying milk or only to get lost by public transport to nowhere.
There was the time we got bored of our university cafeteria food and I had to cook for both of us. He had to do the grocery shopping. I made a list of what to buy and he took it without asking and off to the supermarket.
But then after a moment he called me on my cellphone, puzzled about something;
Him : Where do we find the olive oil, is it the same place with the usual oil?
(as Indonesians we are not familiar with Olive Oil but Coconut Oil)
Me : Yes, it’s the same, there will be lotsa type of oil there.
Him : And what’s the different between “extra virgin” olive oil than just olive oil, can we just buy any of it?
Me : I have no idea the difference, but come on, just find that extra virgin olive oil, cause that is what I read in the recipe. I just wanna make the food right as in the recipe. And I am sure it’s easy to find that “extra virgin” one.
Him : You’ve gotta be kidding me!!! Here, it’s not even easy to find “A Virgin”, how the hell I can find “The Extra Virgin” one.
Me : …….. (pause) dude, we’re talking about olive oil, right??? are we even talking about the same topic?
Him : uh ..oh.. humm yes, extra virgin…

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* Extra Virgin Olive Oil : Comes from virgin oil production only, and is of higher quality: among other things, it contains no more than 0.8% free acidity and is judged to have superior taste. (wikipedia)

Stranger

Posted: May 29, 2015 in my black coffee, story over coffee, through the lens
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Do not ever miss a chance to tell someone you love them.
Especially strangers, cause you might not see them again.

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*on the train J Town to J City

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