early birthday present to me, with love, from me. May 10, 2006
Posted by pusher in Uncategorized.3 comments
its amazing. i think the name is “the captain” i may have to smoke a few more bowls out of it before i really decide on that or not.
….update: her name is midnigh daisy. love it.
May 3, 2006
Posted by pusher in Uncategorized.add a comment
today is SUCH a gorgeous day out at the river
so i took a picture
and been playin with it on the computer
finally ready for posting: <img src=http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e27/PinkHo/antiqueriver.jpg>
falling down the rabbit hole May 1, 2006
Posted by pusher in poetry, thinkin again.add a comment
deeper into the rabbit hole
down down in darkness she rolls
a world of colors and creatures
full of twisted strange features
run into teasing and cheating
what's in the bottle she's keeping
drink it drink it, down down
drunk girl, drunk, drown drown.
too big for this small space
feeling so little, so erased.
clawing and digging upside out of this hell
she'll never stand up from the place that she fell.
<img src=http://www.sea.fi/foto/alice_in_wonderland_1951.jpg>
my fears of tears April 24, 2006
Posted by pusher in Uncategorized.add a comment
no secrets
just wide open
you can keep it
thats what i’m hopin
hide the fears
i didn’t see it
always waiting here
i don’t want this to be it
one more time
i always give in
it twists around my mind
i quit playing
let me off of this ride
its making me sick
stop and go, halt and roll, im so tired
i found the secret potion, my little trick
can’t be here
can’t be away
i’d share my tears
any other day
circles April 17, 2006
Posted by pusher in Uncategorized.add a comment
run around in circles
until your face turns purple
faster each time around
run hard and hit the ground
pain shooting through your entire body
waste away without help from anybody
deprived
yet survived
give up now and give up life
it makes it easier without the strife
you find that you stress it and press it
you forget how to caress it
put the pain away on the top shelf
learn to love, be true to and love yourself.
it fucking hurts April 11, 2006
Posted by pusher in poetry, thinkin again.1 comment so far
hurt me, fucking hurt me hard
hurt me the way you fuck me
you're so good at it
hurting and fucking
and i come running back for more
like a clingy needy bitch
hurting myself
fucking myself over
fuck me until it hurts
fuck you for hurting me
hurt me for fucking you
hurt me cause you dont give a fuck
i hurt me too, what joy what fucking fun
fuck hard
hurt hard
fuck me sweetly
hurt me greatly
hurt me because it fucking feels good
heartbeats April 11, 2006
Posted by pusher in Kho Deep Thoughts :-P, thinkin again.3 comments
god loved his world and his people so much he hung himself on a cross in order to absorb all the pain and suffering those people would ever experience in all of time.
im not god but i see how much you hurt and suffer and if there was anyway for me to take on your troubles and hurts and even that muscle pain in your knee…
just so you could carry on happy, smiling, feeling the way you feel on those pills and drugs without the pills and drugs just like yourself so care free…
i would do it in less then a heartbeat.
i have a big heart and i’d give the whole thing to you if i could
but the thing about heartbeats, is that i need mine. i need my blood to pump. my oxegyn to flow. my body to work.
so you see i cant continue to give my heart so freely to you, i just wont live without it.
you didnt ask for this but this is what you got.
i didnt plan it this way either.
but someone did and he usually knows what hes doing.
the word association game April 6, 2006
Posted by pusher in Uncategorized.add a comment
songs
feel
bongs
heal
mind
matter
kind
clatter
expectaions
shatter
break
heart
take
apart
listen
ignore
kristin
whore
sleep in
wait
sin
late
love
fit
glove
mit
letter
pause
better
cause
unstoppable
forever
probable
weather
outside
chaos
inside
fast
rides
nothing
to hide
words
meanings
yours
seeming
truth
trust
stuff
busts
trends
lose
choose
ends
tommorrow April 4, 2006
Posted by pusher in poetry, thinkin again.1 comment so far
i might not be around
for you to hear this sound.
you might not be here long
so you see my silence seems wrong.
what if today is the last
and i never said this in the past?
i dont know how i’m supposed to act
and im counting on you to create this pact.
ive laughed until i cried,
and cried until my eyes dried.
thats jsut my outward signs
of what makes us inwardly blind.
you go first,
i don’t have this rehearsed.
how long am i supposed to wait?
another week,
another four?
until you’re too weak,
until you even your score?
how will i know if tommorrows too late?
PinXho 
