It’s been 4 months since I came to this country, a small country which is contains 400.000 population. A country that teaches you how to have slow living hehe. I was bored at the first time, but I would talk about it later. This last two months I try to find any relationship using dating apps, because according to statistic, this country can be categorized as safe country, so I thought meeting new people will less scarier for an overthinking woman like me.
Finding friends or more in dating apps is such a hard work for me, it’s not easy at all except you already got natural talent to attract people to you. You need to invest your time to the person you are talking to. You need to keep the conversation going. It’s easier when you just talking for a day or two because you still have lots of curiosity, but it will be another thing when you try to make the conversation keeps going for months.
Why it’s hard? For me because in natural we don’t have anything in common to talk to, coz we never had same experience. We are not really profitable for each other in real life and we need to guess about the boundaries coz we don’t really know about this person personality. And one more thing, we never know about other people intention, even us, sometimes we dunno what we are looking for. May be you want something serious, but still, you don’t want to be serious just with anybody. Even you found someone who put handsome and decent photos in their profiles, but not every handsome and decent person will vibe with your personality. Or may be you found someone who nice, but then you realize that sometimes we need more than a nice people.
Too much match isn’t a good thing either, coz build relationship need times, and you would waste your time if you try to talk to everyone who match with you. In other hand, not everyone will suit with your type of texting, and also sometimes you just don’t feel the vibes with people on the other side. You may interest with someone you’re talking to but sometimes it’s just how you picturing them, because you never meet them in real life. And if no one never ask to meet, than you won’t see the point of talking all that time.
I thought in every relationship “being beneficial for each other” is something that should be present.
When we talk about people in their 30’s, they can have very opposite point of view at something, and because you use dating apps, actually you live near but you just don’t want to add another variable to your stable life. Coz meeting a new friend is refreshing but maintain a new friend is frustrating if not vice versa.
Building a relationship needs sacrifice from everyone who involved in it, sacrifice to adapt with their personality, their way of talks, their way of life, their way sees things, their hobbies, and also their values. If I can add one more, we need to have same goal. If we already see the same goal to reach, everything will be easier.


