Court proceedings got to a heated start today when it was clear that the angel Hazrat Mikaeel was not present in the court as directed on the previous day. Government representatives expressed their inability to produce the angel and claimed no knowledge of his whereabouts. An incensed Justice Bhagwandas then ordered Director FIA to locate and…
DG traffic police appeared in front of the 2 person benchy ( small bench) of the supreme court to answer questions about the traffic nightmare caused by the recent rains in Karachi. Justice Rana Bhagwandas, who heads this bench, was perticularly incensed that the rains had havoced his earlier good work. And he wanted to…
Just when it seemed that the supreme court had managed to solve Karachi’s traffic crisis things went from bad to badder. Justice Bhagwandas’ micro-management of traffic flow patterns was expected to relieve peak hour traffic jams. But nature had other plans for Karanchi walas. Thence, the surprise thunderstorms that deluged Karachi after a full day…
Mullah Abdul Aziz, the sipah salar-e-azam of the fundoo brigades of Islamabad, was arrested trying to escape from Lal Masjid in a burqa amid a crowd of girl students of Jamia Hafsa. His disguise was discovered by female police officers of Islamabad police. We now have a clearer picture of the scenario of his discovery.…
The rest of the mediaseems hung up on the latest incident of foul speech emanating from the mouth of the minister for turning law on its head. We are just as disturbed by such utterances from Chaudhry Khassi Zafar and sent Alibhae Cheeta to investigate the causes of such foul oral discharge. Turns out, Chaudhry…
Our irradiated correspondent, Alibhae Cranium reports from Kahuta about a new project. The Khan Research Labs are working overtime to produce a line of atomic power cleaning agents and deodorants. The project has been initiated following a request from the bedroom of the presidential palace. As befits a matter of such national need, a chemical engineer…
image stolen from BBC The government has stopped Ajoka Theater from any further performances of its musical drama “burqavaganza”. Despite protestations by the head of Ajoka, Madeeha Gauhar, and playwright, Shahid Nadeem that the play does not go against Koranic injunctions, the government dismissed their appeals against the ban. Culture minister Ghazi Kanjar (related to Mullah…
The sharia economic system will decrease our reliance on imported cotton, says Lal Masjid economist Mullah Ram Yehuda. He explained that if the whole nation were to start wearing the shorter above ankle shalwars, of the style popularized by Tableeghis and Jamatias, the nation would greatly reduce its cotton imports from Israel. Our textile industry…
IJT activists at Punjab University Lahore have been protesting loudly over a cheating scandal involving their teachers. Our correspondent Alibhae Nalaik Bhaanda interviewed a couple of IJT members and asked about their agitation. It seems the psuedo students are angry that the scandal is making them look stupid in the eyes of those immoral artsy fartsy…
Our entertainment correspondent Alibhae Casting Couch has allerted us to the existance of a sex tape, allegedly of some Jamia Hafsa girls getting their lez on. The tape is reportedly doing the rounds of the underground networks of the jihadi servers. We are hereby appealing to any and all to please share the titilation. Akele akele, sahi…
Our IT correspondent Alibhae Www recently interviewed Lal masjids IT staff member hafiz Abdul Dotnetia. Hafiz Dotnetia revealed some important details of the real story behind the recent drama being played out on aabpara road. He wanted to talk about the message behind their message. But Alibhae was more interested in watching booty shaking videos on youtube. That…
This revelation was made at a halwa party on the courtyard of the Lal Masjid. Mullah Ghazi told our correspondent Alibhai Mithoo that the country has a well developed network of 500,000 brothels. And they are the largest employers of women in Pakistan, employing as many as 10 million women. The worlds oldest profession seems…
Bamboo prices have shot through the roof in the Islamabad-Rawalpindi twin city area as demand for straight bamboo has outstripped supply. Alibhae Baanswaala, a small time timber merchant who mostly sells tooth picks in Raja Bazar, talked about the situation to our business correspondent Alibhae Akhbarnawees. Baanswala, explained that administrations of Lal Masjid and associated Jamia Hafsa have been buying bamboo in large quantities recently. The opinion of most in the market is that…
Islam is often referred to as a complete religion, nay a complete life. For the non-believer that is a tough concept to grasp. But for the devout musclemaan their exists no argument against this. Recent events in Islamabad have provided credible proof of the strength Islam imbues in its followers. Female students of the Fundamentalist madrassa Jamia Hafsa…
Rooznamah 