The Incredible Shrinking Shrinks

Beats me. I sure haven’t kept up with our original purpose: two psychotherapists losing weight and helping each other with it.

I’d gained enough weight to enter another weight group in wrestling if I chose. Everything I’d lost has found its way back home. My jobs are all sedentary: online counselor, adjunct faculty (online), and mystery writer. My butt has expanded to the edges of my office chair.

I got to the point where I wasn’t feeling embarrassed or guilty any more. I was feeling ashamed, and that’s never a good thing. So instead of throwing another pity party, I decided to join Weight Watchers again.

Of course I lost weight the first week. Doesn’t everyone? But now the real test begins. Can I, will I?

Yes, I can. I know that, because I’ve done it before. But “will I” is the real question. What makes food more important than my health? More important than looking as good as I can?

I’m a vegan, so I do eat mostly healthy foods. Not always, because as I say, “There’s no meat in beer or potato chips.” Even with healthy foods, and the zero points foods in WW, I still eat too much. I know it’s a problem that I want to feel FULL instead of SATISFIED. There’s a major difference.

I do have some physical challenges: spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, and osteoarthritis in almost all my joints. So what? So do a gazillion other people. I don’t feel sorry for myself about those things. However, I do hate the limitations I have. Hiking is a painful chore, but one of my favorite things to do. Swimming is super exercise and feels wonderful while I’m doing it, but afterwards I’m down for the count. Even plain old walking causes me to have to lie on my side for a while. I’m averse to taking my pain pills except at night for sleep and in the morning to force my bod to move. During the day, lying on my side can serve the same function as a pain pill.

Another challenge is Sudden Onset Hearing Loss. I went to sleep 12/27/17 hearing fine in both ears, and woke up 12/28 almost deaf in my right ear. I’ve seen doctors and audiologists and now wear a hearing aid that doesn’t do too much. The things that affect me more than the hearing loss are pretty severe tinnitus that drives me batty and poor balance. Still, I find I don’t want to complain, because I’m so grateful that I hear well out of my left ear.

“I am one lucky bug,” to quote Eddie Murphy’s character in Milan.

Okay. You up to date? Good. Then I hope I can continue this weight loss adventure and I invite you to help hold me accountable.

I can report that Nikki is doing extremely well on her health plan and I hope she posts sometime. I waited a few days to post, but I’ve been on my new plan for one week. I’ve lost some of the weight I’d gained and am feeling pretty good.

I joined Noom. The first four weeks are a free trial. After that it costs. It’s an online program that combines emotional support, group support, individual coaching, group coaching. Additionally you weigh in each day, and report all of the food you eat. So far so good.

We’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck.

Not feeling good about how I’m doing on my health plan. I’ve gained weight and I hate it. (Yeah, if I hate it so much, why don’t I do something about it? Great question.)

Today I’m starting to write down all my food (AGAIN!). It seems to be the only way to get a good jump start on things before I gain a serious amount. I want to get back on the losing track again, and will let you know how it goes.

Keep your fingers crossed.

I’ve been exercising for four straight days. Just sayin’…

So for the first time in my life I have a personal trainer.

I had my first training session. I bought five hours. He said, “How about we make that 10 half-hours?” I already liked him just for this alone. Then he worked with me for around 45 minutes.

We were alone in the aerobics room, so I didn’t have to worry about being around the muscular, young folks on the machines. Because of my back and knees I thought he’d be gentle. No way. I sweated my buns off (wish that was literal), which was great, but he knew exactly what to do that wouldn’t cause me pain. He is a certified athletic trainer, and works through QMG’s Physical Therapy and Sports Medicine Department. I needed someone with a good medical background.

We did stretches, a lot of floor work, and push ups against the ballet barre. I used five-pound weights in each hand to do some upper body work. He told me to buy a yoga mat and five-pound weights for home. So I did. I’m to do the exercises once a day and the stretches twice a day. For now, he and I are meeting twice a week, on Mondays and Wednesdays.

Now that I’ve taken this first step, it’s really up to me, isn’t it? I mean, a trainer can only do so much. I’m the one who has to commit to doing the real work. It’s a bit daunting. I mean, I just looked and it’s been three weeks since I lost a pound. That’s just ludicrous. I’m still a vegan, but eating a lot of junk food. So I now have no “bad” food in my house. I think I’ve done this before, but hope I have the gumption to stick with it this time.

I’ve really been enjoying FBLTs with fresh tomatoes (finally). FBLTs are Fake BLTs. I use veggie bacon, which I’ve come to love, especially since I found a vegan brand. The one I used to love has its first ingredient as milk. That probably was the hardest food to give up when I changed from vegetarian to vegan, but I did it. When I found the vegan bacon I just knew it wasn’t going to be as good, but surprisingly it is. I fry it in my cast iron skillet and it gets nice and crispy, and yummy. (It’s LightLife veggie bacon. They’re the same people who make my favorite veggie dogs—LightLife Smart Dogs.) And most of the prepared breads in grocery stories are made with whey—a milk product. So I’ve been buying freshly made bread from Panera Bread Company (where I write my books) or from grocery stores with in-house bakeries.

It’s going a lot more slowly than I’d anticipated, but I’m getting there. At least I’m not going backward. Keep me in your thoughts. I still have 82 pounds to go.

Well, a little progress. In the last two months I’ve lost one pound. Yeah, very little progress. I have been walking more since recuperating from my knee surgery. I’ve bought a new FitBit and am usually reaching my goal of 5,000 steps a day. When my back stops acting up, I’ll move up the step goal, that’s for sure. (Not complaining about physical stuff, just stating my personal facts.)

I’ve been enjoying walking with Gus. And I definitely want that to continue. Need to push myself more. Okay, I’ll use Nikki’s new mantra: Exercise does not suck. (That’s a lie, but it’s a lie I need to live with.)