The accidental circle of friends sat in the backyard as the Saturday evening sun kindled an anxious sky into a natural remedy of copper, apricot and ocher. The flames grew from shy fledglings to muscular spires as they rode the ageless sky as if heralding the end and the beginning of all the timeless mysteries of the universe. The clouds simply navigated the silent war of the ancients in a contemplative, icy weep.

From there, the hours passed into night and absolutely nothing was accomplished. Merrily.

“So get this, my boss wants me to change my name,” Josh said as he clinked glasses with Lisa, Dantley and Amy. Jess contented herself with a kombucha as they finished catching up on the whodunit she had coined “The Mystery Of The Untalented Mr. Ripley”, a sardonic take on the classic Patricia Highsmith thriller. Poor David Greene had hustled his way to an early grave without ever getting a chance to taste the biggest score of his life.

Amy’s newest romantic interest, Nicholas Greene, was going to prove invaluable to these brainstorming sessions. Dantley possessed nary a grain of jealousy when it came to the pairing. It wasn’t in his DNA to wish anything but the best for the girl he’d loved inside a moment’s worth of time. Hers was the kind of spirit that needed so much better than he could supply and if Nick was the man for the job, all the better.

“How in the hell can he ask that of you? I mean . . . what’s his deal?” Amy scoffed.

“That’s nuts man,” Dantley agreed.

“He’s the Mayor of Megalomania for sure,” Lisa chimed in.

“I thought so too . . .” Josh said as his voice trailed off into a whisper.

“However,” Dantley interjected.

“What?”

“There’s a however attached to this,”

“He’s offering me a bonus of $10K if I change my name,”

“Told ya,” Dantley replied.

“Hell, for $10K I would change my sex,” Lisa observed.

“Really?”

“No. But . . . I’d think about it,”

“Why does he have a problem with your name?” Dantley asked.

“His former accountant’s name was Josh and he screwed him out of a shit ton of money,”

“Well . . . Hell! It’s a perfectly reasonable request when you put it that way!” Dantley laughed.

“What name does he suggest?”

“Gunner,”

“So he has a German Shepherd fetish, is that it?” Jess asked, cracking everyone up.

“What does Emie think about this?” Amy asked.

“She’s into it. That bonus would be a couple nice vacations or a nice advance on a kitchen remodel. Plus, she loves the role play possibilities . . she thinks Gunner sounds like a stud,”

“Or a German Shepherd,” Jess finished.

“And the best part is, it’s solely a work thing. My nameplates will change, all office memorandum . . everyone will refer to me as Gunner. But he’s not asking me to legally change my name or anything like that,”

“Shit, I hope you said yes?!” Amy laughed.

“Dude, you basically cashed in for a fucking nickname. Can I send in my resume? This company doesn’t sound like a solid long term bet but maybe I can dine on some dead presidents before the captain abandons ship,” Dantley said.

“Dantley’s a cool name, nobody in their right mind would make you change it handsome,” Amy winked.

“You’re right,” Dantley sighed.

“Okay people, let’s try and find this Chuck guy since Nicholas . .” Jess began.

“We can call him Nick,”

” . . since Nick insists he was pals with his brother. Which is not something he shared with you guys,”

“Not at all. He was Barnum and Bailey in a business suit, but I’m starting to think that was a ruse,” Dantley said.

“Oh I don’t know . . Chuck seemed totally harmless. Inept even . .” Amy disagreed.

“That’s a perfect cover. Works for Congress,”

“Me and Leez will handle the online end of this search for Chuck since I can’t drive and if it weren’t for booty calls, the girl would be a shut-in,” Jess volunteered.

“Hey!” Lisa smiled.

“The kid’s not wrong,” Dantley said.

“That leaves the legwork for me and handsome. I’ll go to this nail salon he works for this week to do some digging. It’s a good excuse to get my nails did anyways,” Amy said.

“And I’ll bring my laptop and hang out at the local PO tomorrow since it’s a Monday at the beginning of the month and I’ve got a better than even chance of catching him when he picks up his mail,” Dantley concluded.

“How’re things with the wife?” Lisa asked Dantley now that Kyra’s one night crash had turned into a cohabitation.

“Funny,”

“No, funny would be if you were having sex and I was calling her your wife,” Lisa corrected him.

“We had sex the night she arrived,”

“That was crash night sex, doesn’t count. The girl needed a free hotel with cable TV so horizontal negotiations were a must. It’s soft prostitution,”

“Leez is right,” Amy nodded.

“So she is staying with you, rent free. You’re paying for everything until she figures out how she’s going to get her husband, whom she left, to hang for her sins. And you’re not getting sex why?” Amy asked.

“Because she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship,” Dantley said meekly.

“She’s ruining the friendship by not having sex with you!” Josh said.

“Tell him son,” Jess nodded.

“Sorry man. You gonna tell her to leave?” Josh asked.

“She has nowhere to go,”

“I missed the part where that’s your problem,” Amy said.

“It’s a couple weeks,”

“It was supposed to be a night. Okay, I’m going to shut up now. I just want Dantley Grisham back because ever since this woman showed up, you’ve lost your bachelor superpower,” Amy said as she got up to leave, giving Dantley a kiss on the cheek.

“You would never have taken away his superpower mama,” Jess said as they hugged.

“Thanks kiddo,”

“That’s because she’s a superhero too,” Lisa winked as the two embraced.

“You are the sweetest,”

“That’s what the ladies say,”

The meeting of the minds now concluded, Dantley headed up to his crib. He tried the door but it was locked. No keys. Again. He knocked but no answer. Then he noticed a note on the door and he unfolded it.

Hey you, I’m spending the night at my sister’s house. Be back in the morning! 😉

Of course, she had taken one set of keys while failing to notice the other pair that was sitting on the coffee table.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck  . . . . . . . . me!” Dantley cursed as he headed down to Mel and Trudy’s porch swing for the night. He contemplated dialing up Kyra but then thought better of it since her sister lived an hour away and a return trip would just result in her scrapping her plans and staying with him.

He flipped off his shoes and moved onto the porch swing, pulling the blanket over his head. It would be his best sleep since Kyra arrived.

Steely Dan- Dirty Work

“Guys, I’d like you to meet Nicholas Greene . . he’s David’s brother . .” Riggs announced to the séance party.

“So David Greene really is . .” Dantley said.

“Dead,” Riggs confirmed.

“I’m sorry if I gave you a scare,” Nicholas said softly. Upon further inspection, Nicholas was the better looking of the two but Dantley chalked that up to brother David’s heroin habit as well as his knack for finding trouble.

Riggs came clean on his cloak and dagger act, explaining to the gang that the money had been David’s, in a manner of speaking. The scofflaw had scored the windfall- which totaled half a million dollars-and Riggs investigation into the how of it all was going nowhere. It’s why the detective was spending so much time around the apartments, in the hopes that whoever the money belonged to might show up.

“Okay, so we do have a dead guy after all. Uh . . sorry,” Amy said, apologizing to Nicholas.

“No need to apologize,” Nicholas winked. “David called me right before he went missing and he told me he’d come into some money and he was leaving town for a while. He wouldn’t say anything more but I knew my brother all too well. He didn’t win it playing bingo,”

“If he was leaving town, why didn’t he take the money with him?” Lisa asked.

“I think whatever game he was running caught up with him before he could grab the bag and skip town,” Riggs said.

“So we found the money and . . .”

“Excuse me Dantley, me and Amy found the money,” Jess corrected him.

“Right. So they found the money and then I relocated the money. Maybe David came back here with the rightful owner and when the bag was gone . . so was he. Holy shit, am I the reason he got stuffed in that wall?”

“My brother never met a bad idea he didn’t double down on, and honestly? I have to believe whoever that bag belongs to was intent on killing my brother, money or no money,”

“Wait! What about Chuck?! The natty dresser who was looking for Greene because he owned him money, remember?” Amy said to Dantley.

“For one thing, Greene owed everybody money. For another thing, Chuck was looking to recoup a couple grand. I interviewed him after he showed up here and I ain’t gonna lie. I’d sooner believe Mrs. Ellinger took care of Greene than that guy,” Riggs replied.

“From now on, I say we move our séance to Dantley’s crib. This place has some bad juju going on and I’m not liking it,” Jess announced.

“Don’t we want the bad juju? Isn’t that the point of a séance?” Dantley countered.

“You don’t actively look for the bad juju, Dantley. And when it’s presented to you in the way this basement has presented it to us in real time technicolor, then nope. It’s time to change locations,”

“Hey, don’t sell your spiritual skills short. You did communicate with the dead, sort of. Sorry Nicholas,” Dantley said.

“Okay guys, let’s call it a night. And the kid’s right, let’s not make it a habit of hanging out in the basement. Also, it wouldn’t be the worst idea if you guys went to a laundry buddy system until I can shake something loose in my investigation, comprende?”

“Comprendido,” Lisa replied as Nicholas and Amy talked their way up to the parking lot with Riggs tailing them as if a rental chaperone.

“The chemistry with those two . .” Lisa gestured.

“Big time,” Jess agreed.

“I’m just trying to figure out how you got me to agree to host seances at my place,” Dantley smirked.

“Easy. It appeals to your ego. You get to entertain us with your food and drinks and winning personality,” Jess laughed.

“Nah . . that’s not it,” Lisa said.

Amy departed first, followed by Riggs and Nicholas, leaving Dantley, Lisa and Jess to fill in Mel and Trudy. The flower power couple were digging into some post-sex nachos on the porch as they were brought up to speed on the latest murder update.

“I have to go write something really kinky or I won’t be able to sleep tonight, later people,” Lisa said as she excused herself.

A red Fiat pulled into the parking lot just as Jess and Dantley were saying goodnight. This ride wasn’t familiar to them as far as the current occupants of the building were concerned so they looked on with mostly keen interest.

“What now?” Jess sighed.

That question was answered as soon as the driver removed herself from the car and began walking towards Dantley. Kyra Ward was smiling that smile, all six foot something of her. A rambling scrum of dirty blond hair that had lost its pixie, her black leather boots clicked hard against the pavement, powered by legs that ran longer than a catamaran. She was the kind of trouble Dantley didn’t need right now.

“Dantley, I’ve missed you,” She said, forging an embrace.

“Where’s Richie?”

“In Vermont where I left him. I filed for divorce,”

“You guys just got married like . . two months ago!”

“I know. I can’t believe it lasted that long. Who’s your friend?”

“Kyra, this is Jess . . Jess . . Kyra,”

Jess and Kyra exchanged nods before Kyra returned to her favorite subject.

“I hope you don’t mind me crashing here for a few days. I am dead tired from the trip . . .” Kyra said as she began walking up to Dantley’s apartment.

“Fuck my life,” He muttered under his breath.

“You have tequila, right?”

“Sure,”

“Cool beans,” She said, closing the door behind her.

“This isn’t good, is it?” Jess asked.

“No, this isn’t good at all. And we’re probably gonna have to find another place for our next séance,” Dantley informed her.

“Why?”

“That bad juju you were talking about? Well, it just made its way upstairs,”

Britney Spear- Toxic (Alex & Sierra cover)

 

“I’m not dead!” Riggs bellowed, his baritone cutting through the air as he removed himself from his unmarked vehicle.

“We see that . . . now,” Lisa replied.

“What made you think I was dead?”

“Your eyes were shut and you were unresponsive when I tapped on the window and yanno, the blood on your shirt?” Dantley explained.

“I was resting my eyes and evidently that super deluxe bacon cheeseburger caught up with me and the blood? Extra ketchup,”

“Well . . shit,” Dantley cursed.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Riggs smirked.

“What the hell were you doing here anyway?” Dantley asked.

“I’m meeting somebody here a little later,”

“What’s going on?! Lisa . . we heard your scream from the basement!” Amy said breathlessly as she ran over to see what all the commotion was about. Jess, Mel, Trudy and Mrs. Ellinger trailed along behind her.

“That was Dantley,” Lisa said.

“Hey, it was coming out of one end or the other so considering my pants are still dry, I’m calling it a win. Alright guys, nothing to see here . . we thought Detective Riggs was in distress and that’s what you heard,”

“Uh, you thought I was dead, Dantley . .”

“That was a distress call? It sounded like the mating call of an orangutan!” Mel laughed.

“Well I don’t see what all the fuss is about, this young man would do well to use a napkin but he’s very much alive kids,” Mrs. Ellinger observed.

“You had to be there,” Dantley rebutted.

“Transparent attempt to get your ex-girlfriend’s attention Dantley,”

“Jess!” Amy admonished.

“Kid, at least I know how to communicate with the dead!”

“I wasn’t dead! It was a super deluxe bacon cheeseburger!”

“I’ve had enough excitement for one night, I’m going upstairs to watch Judge Judy. Good night everyone,” Mrs. Ellinger announced.

“Yeah, I think we’re going to call it a night as well. All this talk about death is harshing the mellow I was taking into that séance,” Trudy confessed.

“Oh baby I have just the remedy for you, let’s go reset your turntable,” Mel said as the two canoodled their way back to their apartment.

“Great, that is just great! We’re down three people now . . thanks Dantley!”

“What’d I do?”

“You cry like a girl!”

“I have an idea, handsome. Why don’t you, Lisa and Detective Riggs join our séance?” Amy suggested.

“As amazing as that sounds, I’ve gotta research Scandinavian housewives porn for a novella I’m working on . . .” Lisa said.

“We’d be delighted to join you,” Dantley smiled.

“Nah guys, I saw The Conjuring and I’d much rather battle high cholesterol than tango with a pissed off spirit,” Riggs said.

“You’re joining us too Riggs because unlike the movies, nothing actually happens in a real séance so you can get back to resting your eyes,” Dantley told him.

Riggs mumbled to himself while texting as the group headed downstairs. Amy and Dantley talked about the Pirates while Jess and Lisa talked about how Vera Farmiga would be a kickass séance partner.

They took their seats as Jess lit a candle and the quintet locked hands as the junior partner in this soul searching expedition filled in Riggs on how it all worked.

“I’ll be the medium, which basically means I’m the point person for whoever we might contact on the other side. Keep all questions respectful, we don’t want to piss off the spirit world,”

“No problem there,” Riggs assured her.

“Follow my lead, just focus all your energy on what I’m saying and who I’m attempting to reach,”

“Got it,”

“We are gathered here to summon Alice, Theodore and Mildred. We offer our respect and full attention to the three of you and will await a sign. No pressure . . .” Jess said softly as she allowed her invitation to dissolve into the dank, musty air. A long silence followed as the group remained focused on a sign, any sign.

“I don’t think it’s working . . .” Riggs said, breaking the silence.

“It’s working, stay with me everyone. Alice, Theodore and Mildred are here, I can feel their presence. Theirs is a light that can show itself when they are ready . . .”

“How will we see the light if our eyes are closed?” Riggs asked.

“We’ll feel it,”

Dantley opened his eyes the slightest bit as he watched the kid immerse herself in the process. For the first time since he’d made her acquaintance, he felt something other than annoyed in her company. He wasn’t about to admit it, but he was thoroughly impressed with how wise beyond her years she could be.

Silence filled in the time without words and then something was happening, truly happening. They could feel something approaching them, a presence announcing itself. Hushed footsteps reaching, getting closer . . closer still. And then a knock at the basement door.

“Holy shit it worked!” Dantley exclaimed.

“Yes . . yes we hear you,” Jess confirmed as the circle of hands tightened.

The knock came again, only this time much louder. And then a voice joined in, a disembodied mystery awakened and it was saying . .

“Riggs? You there man?”

They opened their eyes to the realization this visitor was among the living as Riggs moved to the basement door and opened it, reprimanding the voice for not realizing the door was unlocked before ushering him into the makeshift séance room. When Amy and Dantley set eyes on the man in question, their mouths dropped because they knew him, in a manner of speaking.

Standing there in flesh that was very much composed was none other than the former tenant of Dantley’s apartment. The golf pro David Greene, the very same David Greene who’d been stuffed in the wall behind them a little more than a week ago. Not dead, not undead. Real.

“Doesn’t anybody die around here anymore?!” Dantley shouted.

George Harrison- What Is Life