Spotted Head, Spinny Tail

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks to the day from when we lost our Prynnie Girl. There were times during the week when I welled up. There was a day or two that I just cried. But I know in my heart that my Prynnie girl didn’t want me to be sad. We’re doing our best not to be.

We’ve also had 2 weeks to really get to know Max now. For a 61 pound dog, he’s almost cat-like. He’s very quiet and is becoming very well behaved. He’s getting all the attention now and, well, I think he’s learning how to deal with that. Being the big brother, he came for hugs but always went back to his spot in front of the door wall or on the sofa or chair. Every morning when I would come out of the bedroom to start my day, the kids would be sunning themselves in front of the door wall. Oh yeah, unless you’re from the midwest you may not know what a door wall is. It’s a sling glass door. Well, that is where the kids sunned themselves. Prynnie just loved it! She was such a sun worshiper. The hotter and sunnier the day, the more she would want to go outside and lie in the sun.

Max, being blacker from having more spots, would prefer the shade when they were outside. Prynne would take a few steps onto the patio and just lay down. She would often moved to under the lilac bush. Max, he’s head for the side of the house and lay in the shade.

Max & Prynne Just Chillin’

Yup, that’s Max on the left. That was taken on a hot Friday afternoon, our first summer in this house. Yeah, it’s the same house we bought for the kids 4 years ago now. First thing we did was put a big old fence around the property so the kids could run free. No more leashes, at least for the potty breaks. Wound up being just under an acre.

From that spot, you can see out to the hills on the other side of Pottstown. That’s PA, Pennsylvania. We’ll save that picture for later.

Their spot on the hill looked out over a valley with lots of life. There are cars driving by, people walking down the hill, a little village just laying there for them to see. Our house sits up on a hill that looks out over a small village like area. It used to be a big field, but they came in and put in a parking lot…. and some buildings too. The buildings house doctors, dentists, insurance agents, and a day care. On the other side of the road are townhomes. Cars travel up the road between the two locations, people walk their pets and kids, and occasionally you’ll see someone on a bike or skate board. There’s always a lot of activity. Keeps those spotted heads moving!

The weatherman is just saying that tomorrow will be our first snow, here in the burbs of Philley. He did call it Novelty Snow though, which means that type of snow you can just catch on your tongue. No snow plows needed 🙂

Prynnie loved the snow…..loved it! She would run through it, stick her nose deep in it and plow through. She was hysterical to watch. Add a ball or a frisbee and she was in heaven! She was always so self entertaining.

A Dogs Soul by Author Unknown

Every dog must have a soul
Somewhere deep inside
Where all his hurts and grievances
Are buried with his pride.
Where he decides the good and bad,
The wrong way from the right,
And where his judgment carefully
Is hidden from our sight.
A dog must have a secret place
Where every thought abides,
A sort of close acquaintance that
He trusts in and confides.
And when accused unjustly for
Himself, He cannot speak,
Rebuked, He finds within his soul
The comfort he must seek.
He’ll love, tho’he is unloved,
And he’ll serve tho’badly used,
And one kind word will wipe away
The times when he’s abused.
Although’ his heart may break in two
His love will still be whole,
Because God gave to every dog
An understanding Soul!

About an hour ago, it was exactly one week from when we lost our little girl. The week was just short of being, well, the only way I can explain it is that it felt like there was this huge vortex. Anything that meant anything just slightly went off kilter. At times I felt that I was floating over my own body watching everything that was going on but having no control over any of it. It was all just happening.

At 8:13 pm last Saturday, we heard a yelp from our little girl Prynnie. We had just given her a new toy. She was playing, yelped, and quickly sat down. She had an awful look on her face. Then she laid her head down. Her eyes looked funny. We called out her name and her little tail still wagged. Her tail was always wagging.

Her eyes quickly went from bright and happy to dull and lost. She was losing her focus. We called the vet and they said to bring her over, but she was gone before we even reached the vet hospital. It had only been 20 minutes, but it felt like it was hours. When they pronounced her dead, it felt as if a light in my heart went dim. The most regal and prettiest Dalmatians we had ever seen was gone.

I can say that time is slowly healing me. I cry maybe once a day instead of all day. I’ve told that knew her that she was gone. I’ve told everyone else too. As humans, I think we need to hear it said before we even believe it. Our hearts are ache as we tell the story, but we have to tell it. We have to say it, get it out, and move on. Please don’t think this is being harsh, but it is reality. Time does heel us. It just takes time.

Death is a heart-breaker. It truly is. No matter who dies, pet or person, it just breaks our hearts. We have a lifetime of losing those we know and love and it doesn’t get any easier. But we do heal. I can feel that I am healing. Heck, I have a dog here that needs me. Poor Max is still grieving too. He picks up her toy and carries it. He still looks for her to come running out and grab the other end of it. It’s still fresh in his mind too.

These are our children, our pets. Ask anyone you know if they have a pet. Most do. Most love them as if they gave birth to them. They are with us every day and we respond to each other. We feed them, play with them, talk to them. They all respond to us and we always need that.

Admit it, you’ve just got home from a really bad day at the office. Your clothes are disheveled; your hair is almost on end. You smell from sweat and you’re tired. But here comes that dog, all attentive. It doesn’t matter to them what you look like, or smell like. They give us unconditional love with no limits. They have no expectations. This is what having a dog is all about.

I don’t know about you, but I talk to my dogs. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t ask them to make any big decisions on their own, but they are good listeners. Let’s just say I like to keep them involved. I always say “goodbye” when I leave and “hello” when I get home. I tell them I love them every day. Of course there are the belly rubs, pats on the head, and the occasional treat too. They are family too.

It’s been one week. One bizarre week and it’s done. I’ve gone over it hundreds of times in my head asking “what just happened here?” I have no answers. I just know she is in a better place. She is free from collars and leashes. She is running and playing and happy. I know I lived unconditional love.

My Prynnie was everywhere I was. She was the ultimate velcro dog. She would check in with me, see what I was doing, sniff around to see if it was anything she should be helping with. She was just always there.

The nights are hard, but the mornings are harder. She would always come to greet me when it was time for my morning coffee. A pet on the head or a belly rub was all she wanted. Afterwards, she would go lay in her spot in the living room in front of the large glass wall where she would let the suns rays warm her. She so loved the sun. Put her outside on the hottest, sunniest days and she would lay and be so happy.

I’m worried about Max though. Poor baby is so lost without his sister. He stays in bed most of the day. We’ve been getting him up to go for walks. Yesterday he got to play with his old buddies, a few dalmatians that we know.

I can still hear the gingle of her collar. We had a heart shaped tag on it that had her name and phone number. I have it with my jewelry now. She no longer has a need for it. Where she is she is free from fences and leashes.

Welcome to my blog! I’m dedicating this to my beloved dog Prynnie. She was a Dalmatian that came to us 5 short years ago from an animal rescue group. What a beautiful dog she was. Prior to meeting her in 2002 at an exit on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Prynne had been roaming the streets of New Orleans, cold, homeless, hungry. She was unwanted and pregnant with her first litter. We helped her into the back of my SUV and onto a soft blanket laid. We brought with a toy for her, and a few treats to welcome her. As we left, she licked me on the cheek. I always new it was her way of saying “Thank you”.

Her first year with us was very trying for everyone. She trusted no one, was scared, and was sick. Once we realized she was sick and got her help, she opened up and began to trust. What a sweet dog she became. She was so smart; picked up tricks that we taught her very quickly. She loved to keep herself occupied. She would throw a toy up in the air, catch it, then run around with it and do it all again.

She left us suddenly on a cool fall evening. They think it was a heart attack. The doc thinks her heart was damaged from heart worm. She had it before she was one, before we had her. It was just her time.

Prynnie has a brother, Max a 6 year old Dalmatian. Poor baby is so lonely. He has never been alone, except before we adopted him. Max was neglected, but Prynne had been abuses. He’s lost without Prynnie. None of us know what to do with each other. Prynnie was just there. She was always there leading the show. And Max followed her lead. When it was time to go out, Prynnie would come and get me. She took care of him like a mother with a son.

It was just the other day that she was here, playing with her new toy. Within 20 minutes of a yelp she let out, she was dead. It’s been like bizzaro world around here. These things don’t happen. My dog just doesn’t drop dead from a heart attack. Not my dog. She was so healthy! I cook for our dogs. They get real food, not store bought kibble. But her heart was damaged. It was a freak thing, even the vet said.

Her heart was very big and her tail was connected to it. Her tail was always either wagging or spinning in circles. We always said her tail was directly connected to her heart. She was so happy. She loved just about everyone she met, and the feeling was mutual.

But, this is my first blog – blog #1. I just want to share. We’ve all had losses. She was family, it was sudden, and we’re in shock. It has just been surreal. That is the only way to describe it. It’s like we’re looking in from the outside and watching everything happen around us.

It’s just been bizarre this week. But I promise, it can only get better.