If anything, we thought we were losing Nana in mid-December when she had a small stroke or heart attack. (I wasn't aware of how bad off she was at the time.) She spent about 7 weeks in a hospital and rehabilitation center and then was sent home (to live, not for hospice) on Saturday, February first. She passed away in my parents home, her home the last 18 years, in the wee hours of the morning Saturday, February eighth.
CJ and I were immediately ready to buy plane tickets to come home. Right when we got married, we put the cost of two same day tickets to Dallas in our savings account for this very reason. However, our parents encouraged us to do what Nana had told me to do: not come home. Nana, our little diva, told us many many many times she didn't want people making a big fuss and stopping their lives when she died---she wanted them to do that while she was still here!! (again her words) Thankfully, The Lord allowed that to happen. I had just been in Dallas for nine days and got to spend hours visiting her each day at her rehabilitation center. I was there January 21st-30th and we had a great talk on the phone Wednesday, February 5.
My mom followed all of Nana's wishes and did not have a funeral. There was a simple burial service with about 8 family members. Since I was not there my mom suggested writing something to be read a the funeral. It was hard to know what to say. What do you say when you lose the wisest person you'll ever know, your 'other mother,' and your roommate of 13 years??? Eventually this is what came out...
“Remember Lindsay, He is the ‘Father of mercies
and God of all comfort.’” This was the last sentence Nana spoke to me both the
last time I saw her on January 29 and the last time I spoke to her on the phone
on February 5. This truth comes from 2 Corinthians 1:3.
Nana always shared with us (and whoever walked in
the door) the scriptures she was currently studying. Though she had read
through the Bible numerous times, she would dwell on specific verses for weeks
at a time and marvel over the majesty of God and His promises. Another verse
she recently shared to us on a daily basis came from Hebrews 1:14, which talks
about angels being sent to minister to the heirs of salvation. During Nana’s
last part of her life, she didn’t just memorize these verses but she truly experienced them as only one filled with
the Holy Spirit could.
Nana has been my constant companion since she
moved in with our family when I was in first grade. Countless evenings it would
be just the two of us, as my parents and brother were off at sporting events or
other activities. For about the first 7 years of this relationship, it was her providing
for me, whether it be with physical food, companionship while I played and
“performed” for her, or spiritual wisdom.
This all came full circle, as I would come home
to visit from college but especially during the 15 months I lived at home after
graduation. There were many nights that it was again just Nana and me, but now
it was me who would set up her dinner and make sure to visit or watch TV with
her for companionship. And though I am nowhere near close to her spiritual
maturity, The Lord would allow me to encourage her by reading the Bible to her
and having deep discussion over the different things we were learning.
But while these roles might have flipped, she
never stopped being my Nana. The last day I saw her, I laid with her in her
hospital bed, resting my head on her chest. She was still my Nana. No amount of
physical weakness or age would ever change that.
Though while it is so hard to comprehend that she
is really gone, there was at first an unexplainable peace. But as I was
reminded of these two verses that had been so pressed upon her heart recently I
know exactly why I have such peace. It is because there is a spirit ministering
to me as a humble heir of salvation and because as second Corinthians 1:3-4
says “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercy
and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can
comfort those in any trouble, with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
How gracious is our Lord God to place that verse upon her heart and for her to
share it, in the midst of her own physical troubles, right as we would need it
most.
We have a gracious God.





























