The Botendaddy – The New Zen of Writing

Phi Shroake-a Joke-a: The Revolution!

1975 Philadelphia – up norfeast.

Public courts at 13th and Girard. A black man is arrested by sex-crazed homo-erotic, racist cops for defying the laws of gravity.

He was suspended in the air for an eleven full seconds during a Marcus Garvey 360 Revolutionary liberation peoples memorial slam dunk.

After being acquitted by Magistrate Ché Al-Qawi ‘The Sensation’ Rainbow Newton due to gravitational anomalies – Ramon Geraldo ‘Shabadee’ Franklin, III is recruited to play basketball for Fr. El Vaqueiroo Froaker Jesuit University in El Chroaquo New Mexico under the tutelage of the legendary basketball priest Msgr. Blunderbuss Bill Thompson.

Whilst at The University, famed for its blacklight poster psychedelic uniforms Ramon teams up with Billy Bob ‘Mountain’ Scroggins McGee ugliest and dumbest mountain man from Weird, West Virginia top high school prospect.

The two of them work on a shot known as the Yehoshua spelled Jehoshua. A divinely inspired jump shot so extreme that the ball swishes itself.

The team went on one of the greatest runs in college basketball history. But due to ‘hate’ the team was relegated to the NST the National Shroakevitational Tournament in Mississippi where the eight most revolutionary, stylish or funky teams in the country faced off for a three day tournament 🏟️ the likes of which have never been seen since.

This is the story. “The Ghoti that Shroaked Vicksburg.” Arguably one of the most iconic and ridiculous movies ever made – with funky disco soundtrack and starring the loveable Rodrigo el gato 🐈 .

The NBA, the NCAA, the Sovietski Basketballski Soyuz and the FDBEE Federation du Basket European Extrème vie to capture the secret of the Jehoshua – the ultimate jump shot.

In the tournament final, as basketball spies stalk the arena crowd along with ruthless promoters, the New Mexico squad tip off against the demonic Arkham Baphomets of Arkham University in Massachusetts decked out in their fiery red lamé uniforms with goat 🐐 leggings!

‘A film so tacky, so disco, so funky, so psychedelic that you will go insane from watching it!’

LA Review of Basketball and Disco

Now returning to theatres for the 50th anniversary! Filmed in Shittygrainyacolor! ™️

Original Movie poster for a different movie

Yin and Yang at Utonic Manor

A week after tragedy struck at Utonic Manor whence The House was draped in black crêpe for mourning, word was received via cable and telegraph of a new achievement of the mysterious Boten-daughter.

Along with receiving a $25,000 scholarship for industrial metallurgical engineering to be presented this week, she just today received word of a prestigious art residency.

Do those who doubted and mocked us so mercilessly now shroake of DaVinci? O’ wicked hypocrisy! O’ the scourge of shrieking vanity! Do ye now not yet see?

Maledictus qui deridet nos!

The remaining members of the ancient family sip Absinthe and perch amongst the gargoyles in the dark mist 2,000 feet above Olde Uniontowne and once again their weathered stone faces are smiling.

The Brutality of Being the Messenger

We had the passing of a well-beloved family member last week.

I was standing in the dark waiting for my daughter to come home so I could give her the sad news.

This is a message nobody wants to deliver. You want to tell your children of rainbows and sunshine and puppies and joy. Not this.

But you know and I know is that life is mostly quiet and uneventful with brief moments of triumph and tragedy.

I hate delivering bad news. But truth is powerful and truth provides stability in difficult times.

There can be no delay. No sugarcoating. We can only make good decisions based on truth.

I would have rather been anywhere else in the world at that moment, but I was the messenger.

It is dark at Utonic Manor and the gargoyles weep, but they still have to face the day in the morning.

Trump Bombs mysterious Cartel Boss ‘El Chroaquo’!

Dateline Guataraguatina: Kanal Acht Buenos Aires Archibald de Froko Valdez Reportage.

Trump has bombed the villa of the mysterious El Chroaquo, party buddy of Botendaddstein of Botendaddy Island where wild partying and Shroaking occurs. It occurs…

According to a mysterious QChan post: ‘Botendaddy did not shroake himself .’

Photo by Luis Enrique Prieto Maru00edn on Pexels.com

The Pitt Effect

As you all know, I am not from Pittsburgh, I am from Cooperstown, New York, but like much of my family, I am a graduate of the esteemed University of Pittsburgh.

Pitt has some claims to fame.

Founded in 1797.

Home of the great engineering school of the industrial age, founded in 1846, now known as the Swanson School of Engineering.

First School of Library Science founded in 1904.

Jonas Salk developed the Polio vaccine at Pitt Medicine in 1955.

Pitt is highly ranked in medicine, pharmacy, nursing, public health, epidemiology and biological sciences. Pitt in the last few months received two multimillion dollar grants for bioengineering and biomedical research.

When I was at an unnamed department 26 years ago, one of the grants was 54 million dollars.

Thanks to the television shows ‘The Pitt’ and ‘Watson’ there has been a massive number of applications to the University.

There is barely overflow room for freshmen at the Oakland campus. Pitt Johnstown, Greensburg, Bradford and Titusville are approaching capacity.

Anecdotally, the shows have cast light on Pitt’s powerful reputation for the biological sciences. Students are applying from all around North America and overseas.

Carnegie Library Medical Memorial for the War by Augustus St. Gaudens.

Carnegie-Mellon gets a lot of the attention (several of us Botendaddys have done coursework there) but Pitt is dominant in health and the reputation is well-earned.

The TV shows have brought light on the home of the Panther, you are now seeing what we have been seeing – but we knew the secret all along – we were always that good.

The Cathedral of Learning

H2P!

Demonic Botendaddy Fired! Caught on-mic with ‘offensive statements’

During a Zoomo meeting with ‘sensitive’ people, The rotten Botendaddy ‘used hurty words’ feelings were hurt.

An immediate petition was launched to fire the Botendaddy due to ‘sad faces’.

Botendaddy: “$&*+ those +*%#€£ brats! Kids are &$*^! They are all stupid and fat! Ooh look at me! I’m fat! Ooh yeah! Rotten stupid brats!”

Woke Activist Teacher Xerson: “We can hear your racist, sexist, white, male, fascist, homophobic, possibly Jewish oppressive Kapitalist rant!”

Botendaddy: “It wasn’t me! You freaks! Idiots! Xe Xer somethings! Blue-haired weirdos! F*** you! I am The Botendaddy! I am a running dog fascist person-type! Long live sexy Trump and Epstein-fascism! I eat babies! Long live my master Satan!”

Woman at projector stops the film.

“I think we have seen and heard just about enough from this curriculum-r*p!ng shitty, fascist phallo-centric pen*s person who has a pen*s! Kill the outsider! Kill him with fire! He is not of the body! I am Nomad! Sterilize! Sterilize!”

Needless to say a mob formed. Torches were lit and the Botendaddy was chased to the edge of a cliff by the sea at Arkham where he had a girl on a fabulous shocking altar!

“Yog Sothoth! Yog Sothoth!”

The undead Botendaddy bared his fangs!

“I am wämpýr! I will drink the blood of you noble bold brave teacher-persons! Ah hah! Ah hah hah! O’ ancient dark ones! I conjure thee!”

The lead teacher steeped up with a cross and a clove of garlic! She chanted counter-incantations!

“Oh evil one! I banish thee back to the Eldritch horrors!”

Then The Botendaddy burst into a shocking Fabulous flame! There was an otherworldly shriek and the demon was hurled into the sea!

For now, education was saved!

Trump, Starmer and Carney Agree: Botendaddy Must be Stopped!

“Marijuana, do you smoke it? You know what I mean, little No-one Cares Lady? Herb, Dope, Wacky Weed! This is not an after-school special! You will smoke my melon-farming weed! Ooh little NCL, I didn’t know you like to get wet! Angel Dust!”

The Demonic, hulking Botendaddy began to weave in and out of the hazy vision of the doped-out NCL in the front seat of the anachronistic 90’s California Cop Car.

“Alright blokes and sheilerrz, we’ve got some poetry to read. It is poetry night at the writer’s workshop. Who wants to go first!”

“I will go first you Ofay Mr. Charlie Bo-bo jive-ass devil! I read my poetry, U Daag?”

“Botendaddy is the devil!

His skin is red, like the burning shrieking head of Kaph!

He is tall and freakish, just like a giraffe!

He makes me vomit, he makes me sick!

Despite his ridiculously oversized…”

“STOP You Just made that up Blacquez! You imbecile!’

“OK you got me!”

Shroake Revolutionary Blacquez

“Anyone else want to go? Woke Grad Student Patchouly Girl?”

“Yes. I will read in the phallo-centric racist sexist Chauvinist phallo-centric Trumpian hell that you call a writer’s workshop!”

“Down with oppression! Give me my latte!

I do yoga, I shroake every day

I shroake of repression!

I shroake of Trump!

I shroake when I’m trying to take a…”

“STOP! That’s a fake poem! Did anyone prepare? Anyone?”

The door swung open – it was the Fat Hairy Unionized Physical Plant Guy in full drag! Replete with three day stubble and moustache.

“Listen Yuns jagoffs! I brough the Donuts and coffee n’at! I wouldn’t jag yer waahrz!”

“Give me an old fashioned and my iced coffee!”

I shroake

Cause of the Worst American Combat Disasters

Botendaddy Military History Lecture Series Dumbarton Oaks Octember 32, 1973.

Kasserine Pass, Retreat from the Yalu, Corregidor, Little Bighorn, Manassas, Brooklyn Heights all had one element in common.

Some goddamned stupid bastard held up the fucking chow line ordering a goddamned omelette!

You’re in a fucking war zone! You don’t need a goddamned omelette you fucking idiot! I’m sorry that your mommy isn’t here to cook for you, but the rest of us have to get back to the goddamned battlefield, you fucking idiot!

Fuck your goddamned omelet, you fucking twat! Just take the goddamned scrambled eggs, you fucking imbecile! I want to get my breakfast and get the fuck out of here.

I thank you…

Aliado Esquecido: Força Expedicionária Brasileira

From 1944-1945 soldiers of the alliance against the National Socialist Entity battled along the Gothic Line in Northern Italy.

The forces included a combat air wing and the Brazilian Infantry Division. The Brazilians fought hard and helped to crack the Fascist defenses culminating in the epic battle of Collechio.

The Brazilians broke through ending with the breakout into the Po Valley and the collapse of the Fascist social regime and the unconditional surrender of the fanatical shock troops of the unnamed fascist entity.

Os Cobras 🐍 Fumantes – the smoking snakes were named for the pre-combat expression: Snakes will smoke cigarettos before the FEB will fight on the front lines.

But they did fight and their sacrifice of 948 glorious fallen should not ever be forgotten by their Americano friends.

Muito Obrigado!

Ike vs. Faubus 1957

President Dwight David Eisenhower, a man of great dignity was confronted by Governor Orville Faubus in the year 1957 the US Supreme Court had ruled in the landmark decision of Brown versus Board of Education in 1954 that the concept of Separate but equal violated the constitution of the United States, particularly the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendment.

Thanks to deep research at the Library of Congress none other than yours truly The Botendaddy has discovered the original tapes on reel to reel of when Governor Faubus met with President Eisenhower, and now I present this to you.

Faubas: ‘ President Eisenhower, even though you’re a no good goddamn Yankee or you’re from Kansas or wherever the hell you’re from and you did some kind of World War II thing which I don’t care less about you ain’t gonna come down and interfere with our states rights – when I wake up in the morning, I hate! when I go to sleep at night. I hate! when I eat my lunch. I hate! Pig sooooooeeeeey!!!! I hate them. I hate you. I hate America. I hate the flag. I hate the five principles of Americanism. I hate fairness. I hate the constitution I hate the founding fathers. I love the confederacy! not only that – you’re a goddamned devil mongrel student serpent of Satan!’

Ike: ‘I’m not gonna let some lowlife redneck, pig soooey calling moron tell the President of the United States what to do you fat fuck! if you think you can come to Washington and defecate on the United States constitution, the American flag and the president of these United States, I’m gonna stick my foot so far up your asshole it’s gonna come out of your goddamn face. I’m telling you right now. I’m gonna fuck you up and get the fuck out of my office you dumb ass bastard before I kick the living fuck out of you.’

THE WHITE HOUSE ARCHIVES SEPTEMBER 23, 1957 REEL NUMBER 307-23

These tapes show the dignity and strength of our beloved president, Dwight David Eisenhower and his commitment to the five principles of Americanism. It was shortly after this meeting that he sent the troops into Little Rock Central High School to enforce the decision of the Supreme Court and allow the terrified children to attend school.

I like Ike!

A furious Ike upheld the Five Principles of Americanism as follows:

Supremacy of the Constitution and Federal Law
Eisenhower acted to enforce the Supreme Court’s Brown v. Board of Education ruling (1954), affirming that federal constitutional law overrides state or local resistance.

Rule of Law (Not Mob Rule)
Ike believed lawful court orders must be followed, regardless of public opposition or unrest. The deployment ensured court orders were obeyed rather than overturned by violence or intimidation.

Equal Protection and Civil Rights
His action upheld the 14th Amendment guarantee that citizens receive equal protection under the law, including access to public education regardless of race.

Presidential Duty to Enforce Laws
Eisenhower viewed the presidency as obligated to execute and enforce federal court decisions, even when politically controversial.

National Unity and Order
Ike framed the intervention as preserving national stability and America’s credibility, especially during the Cold War, by demonstrating commitment to democratic principles at home.