Flying Home

In May, Ian graduated from PA school at UNE so we packed up all we had in Portland and said good bye to our beloved friends. After about six weeks in Pittsburgh (selling our two cars and trying to save as much as possible living at my sisters house) we got a phonecall that Ian could start his job in California that next week. With that, we got on the next flight to Los Angeles. While on a layover in the Boston Airport we received a phonecall from Ians employer saying she just figured out that Ian wouldn't be able to start for another few weeks. Do we turn around and cancel all our plans with meeting up with people and unpacking the next morning--or drive two hours to Portland and meet one of my best friend's brand new babygirl, like I was really tempted to do? No, we figured as long as we are all together as a family we would be just fine.

That was a very important perspective that we set that day. Our experiences in California were either painfully dissappointing or surprisingly blissful.

We loved our house with a big grassy backyard and a fruitful orange tree, some plums on the front tree later in the summer, a garage that we turned into the boys art studio and a friendly and bike-able neighborhood.

Ian's first day at work where he met the physician, with whom he'd be working alongside, who expressed she didn't even know he was joining the practice, and the other 2 physicians, whom he later met, would not support him in working there. It was a trial of a week, which inevitably ended in our hard (yet unavoidable) decision to quit that job.

I was able to reconnect with old family friends including a best friend from my early teens who now lives with her husband and baby in the ward! The boys and I were able to make friends in the ward, easier and faster than I ever remember doing, with the frequent playgroups and music classes.

It was very stressful to manage ourselves financially when we had exhausted our meager resource moving across the country hoping to quickly recouperate on the other end with the start of the job.

It was wonderful living by my brother and gramma! Of all the Haglunds (including my husband) I had never done the LA tour (seen Josh's house, gone to Scoops, eaten at his fav. restaurants). I am happy to say that during our time in LA I was able to all that and more! The boys enjoyed being with their Uncle & Gramma so much, and with Ian unemployed we were able to see Josh and my Gramma more than would have been possible!

Job searching is very invalidating! It would have been easy for Ian to take it personally, but he didn't. All in all, with the economy the way it is, hi being a recent grad in a new city without any contacts I think he did remarkably well. It was fun to walk around Westchester with the boys inthe stroller passing out paper resumes to anything medically related. It was not fun to send resumes off into cyber-space online wonderinf if anyone on the other end was there to receive it. Ian honed his interviewing skills after driving around the County meeting with perspective employers.

The beach makes me happy. I think this one is an obvious blessing of our time in LA. One thing we never did in Maine though, was bonfires on the beach, which is a great tradition I hope to carry on--next time we are near a beach:) Just the other day Ben saw s'mores on t.v. and said "I made those at the beach!"

When Ian told me that he applied for a job in Las Vegas I was sorta embarrassed for him. "Wow, he's really losing it!", I thought. When I told my mom my concerns about my stretched-to-the-max husband she said, "Let him go for it! In his mind it will always be best job if he never gets to try for it." So with that in mind we drove out to Vegas so I could prove to him that it was the worst job. After the interview it was very apparent to me that he wanted this. I offered that he could commute from LA...then I remembered the Boston Airport a few months before, and how we knew everything would be fine if we all stayed together.

This was hopefully going to be a quick blog fulfilling two purposes.

1. In answer to my friends who may still be wondering why one post says we are happilymoving into our home in LA and then suddenly we are in Las Vegas.

2. To remind myself that as long as we are all together as a family we will be just fine.

I didn't accomplish the "quick" part but I hope the rest isn't lost.

So far transitioning to a new ward and job has taken more time than I had hoped but I know it will come.

Here is a song Ian and a good friend from "back home" in Maine collaborated on. It makes me happy to think of both of them when I hear this song...maybe that's what makes it so beautiful to me. When I listen to itI imagine myself flying all over the country giving big hugs to the friends and family I reunite with, but always having my Ian, Jacob and Benjamin.

www.fawm.org/songs/14899/

Christmas 2010

I was hoping to publish this post before Christmas Day but with so many fun things going on I am now here at 12:30 am on Christmas finally getting to it!

I had a bit of inspiration this past week for a Family Home Evening about who or what was born on Christmas.  We came up with a list, which I don't have in front of me but remember many of them:

Jesus Christ was born at Christmas.
Our Savior came down at Christmas.
We remember the Redeemers Birth, Death & Resurrection at Christmas.
We study the teachings of our Greatest Teacher at Christmas.
Lamb of God. (or as Jacob insisted, "Land of God")
Messiah.
Wonderful.
Friend.
Brother.
Lord (Jacob also came up with this one)
Repentance is because of Christmas.
Forgiveness is expected because of Christmas.
Forgiveness is given because of Christmas.
Love was born at Christmas.
Hope came down at Christmas.
Forever Families were made on Christmas.
Sacrifice was Christmas.
Mercy & Law are Christmas.
The Atonement.
Our Rock.
Our Salvation.
Resurrection for All.
Eternal Life for those who desire it was made possible at Christmas.

It's amazing to me as I have been pondering on the Condescension of Christ (to be born as Man on the earth) how everything is possible because of Him, because of His Father letting Him come here, and because He fulfilled his mission on the earth.  I hope I'm fulfilling my mission too.

Some of my favorite memories from Christmas this year:

Catching up with great friends. From Christmas Cards with pictures, stories or just a simple card they sent showing that they remember me!  To phonecalls saying that they didn't send me a card but that they were thinking of me nonetheless.  And of course the e-mail correspondences from those requesting addresses in hopes that they may someday send a card.  Such a great season of connections with the many great friends that I have been blessed with!

Having family in town. As I type this, every single member of my family is here in Las Vegas. This may never happen again (especially after all the in-laws realize how loud and hyper my family is!)  It's been great anticipating thier arrival and I don't look forward to when they're gone again.  We'll just have to plan more visitors!

Generosity.  A man standing behind us in the line at the Target Cafe paid for Ben's pizza,  my hot dog & Jake's mac 'n cheese.  Then after he heard Jacob asking for a drink and me telling him "No" he asked the cashier to throw in a drink for us.  That was really cool.  Who does that?  I hope I will from now on.  It made our day...or even longer:)

Having my family Christmas Carol to me!  I was babysitting for a friend who is my neighbor this week and I heard a knock at the door.  I looked out the peephole and saw the three happiest most anxious-to-carol elves I have ever seen.  I opened the door and I (and the two girls I was putting to bed) got a real Christmas treat.  Ian had cut pointed hats and vests for himself, Ben & Jake out of candy striped wrapping paper and came to bring us Christmas cheer.  I do believe I have the best family, including the best husband who is creative and PLAYS with our boys.  I was afraid he might be sick of children after seeing them all day at work but he comes home every night ready to wrestle on the bed, rock-out, or in some other way have some serious "boy time." They are the best!

Hope all who read this are doing well and feel the love of Our Savior, Jesus Christ, (the Land of God) now and all throughout the year.

Merry Christmas!!!!

All Because of a Day Planner

I hate feeling like I have to "catch-up" on my blogging because then when I write again I feel like I have to summarize with pictures and explanation on all the lost time.  While I do hope to do that sometime, for my own journalistic purposes, I finally decided to publish something tonight just to get back in the swing of things.  This is a letter I was sending off to my mom when I realized it was something I might want to remember I said months or years down the road.  And for those of you whom I haven't spoken with in the past 8 months, it may shed some light into our lives a bit (like the fact that we no longer live in Maine, or California or are staying in Pennsylvania but are now Las Vegas residents.)


Hey Mom! I have checked my e-mail today for the first time in over a week---seems to be happening like that more and more often:/ Anyways, if you haven't already placed the order on Moleskine.com I would like to add mine and Addy's to yours and dads. I can just pay in cash when you come, b/c you'll be here so soon!

I would like the Moleskine 2011 Red Pocket Weekly Notebook. It's about the same size as my old one, and I've opted for the red because I might be able to find it easier in the dark abyss which is my diaper bag (which is more like a dirty, crumb filled, over sized purse now that Benjamin is almost completely potty trained!)

If Red is not available black will be just fine. I'm already compromising because what I really want is my old one. When I open it I'm reminded of sitting in Lisa's office at the end of a session, with a clear, refreshed mind scanning my upcoming week's battles with optimistic anticipation of the dragons I will conquer with my newly honed skills and looking forward to reporting it all back to her in a weeks time.
Oh how I miss her!
She wrote me a letter/card this week. I cried after I read it knowing that things will never go back to how they were but also knowing, and being grateful for, how she really was prepared for such a time as I needed her most. I appreciated that her letter was not overly emotional or at all sentimental. She's letting both of us move on and was sharing with me the happenings in her life RIGHT NOW; she is practicing great Mindfulness Skills: "being in the moment." She's living what she has taught me--and what I now struggle to practice.

While I'm glad I wasn't chased out of Maine (or Utah, Pennsylvania or California) with flaming torches and pitchforks I do think I would be able to forget about angry mobs easier than amazing friends. Angry mobs don't linger in ones thoughts during normal day activity; especially not in the minds of four year olds. It happens most often at lunch time. Jacob will sit quietly and then say things like, "I miss Joshua. Will he sit with me at this Primary Activity like he did at the last one (in California)?" or "Mom, lets ask Heavenly Father to bless Enoch to be okay in Maine without me."

Imagining what you or Lisa would say, you two being my top examples of "Wise Minds", it is wonderful that Jacob and I can snuggle on the couch and plan our trips to visit loved ones all over the country. And it's just perfect that the letters we wrote this week to our old apartment neighbors might help buoy them as they also have had to leave friends and family in their moves from Iraq and Sudan. Of course, mom, you would point out that I am missing the most important tender mercy in this all and that is that through the moves this past while we have always been together as a family. And that counts for a lot!

So I guess I should stop looking for people her in Vegas to replace the ones we love and miss so much, because while we still miss them a lot we still love them a lot too and we hope to keep them a part of our lives as best we can.

I'm grateful that you are coming next week and that Brook & Linwood are making the long journey as well. I hope Kenz makes it back easily and that Adam can finish up his finals and get here soon! I KNOW Josh is coming because Jacob is anticipating him wearing his bear suit and eating home made peppermint patties with him. Now we just have to hope that Karleigh and Jake can make it. It makes my stomach nervous just thinking that they might not be able to make it.  Oh, I hope they can--I hope everyone can!! Is that being too greedy?  Because it would really be just perfect!

It's just like Deedra and I have agreed that Heaven will be like.  All the Family and Friends we love in the same place and at the same time.  Yes, Heaven is ME, NY, PA, UT, CA, OR, NV, ID, WI......and all the other places in the country and world in one spot.  No more leaving, no more moving, no more "good-byes"!

Well I'm off to count my blessings of things in the here and now...like that my husband has a job to go to tomorrow and that the boys and I can play outside in the morning without full winter gear on!
See you sooooon!!!
Love,
Alexis

p.s. I forgot to tell you about Adam's. I'd like the "Volant Pocket Ruled Notebook" in black (they come in a 2-pack!). Call me if you can in the morning because I might have to chose another color on his--I'm not sure if they have black in stock. Plus, it would be lovely waking up to a phone call from you:)

We Have Arrived

Pittsburgh, Provo, Portland and Los Angeles....someone didn't get the memo about the alliteration!

My computer won't let me type much more:/

We are happy and healthy though:)

A few great weeks...

These past weeks have already flown by so quickly.  I think if I don't record now what we've done I will forget it ever even happened during the next few whirlwind weeks. So not for entertaining purposes but, For the record...

Went to Boston Temple with Audra. Thanks Jessica for watching the boys :)

Stake Relief Society Conference--last time in Augusta, ME Stake :(

Ian gave a beautiful Mothers Day talk...I was late for because he "let me sleep in."

My angel of a therapist and her daughter took me and my boys out for dinner <3

High levels of anxiety--disaster avoided after a few phone calls.  Sorry Missy. 

Picked up the Wrights from the airport.  Jacob and Max reunited!

Portland Young Women Spa Night.  Black polish with neon pink & green swirls.

Packing, Cleaning, Cardboard Box Dumpster Diving.

Playgroup at my favorite beach, "The Waters of Mormon" Berkley & Mandy : keep it up :P

Deedra's Baby Shower -- Great Job Anna & Kerry!!

Rachel called from Utah wondering when I was coming West...I was in the middle of packing boxes ;)

Road construction begins on Forest Ave ... blocking our apartment : /

Picked my dad up at PWM, then mom at the Greyhound, then Larry and Geniel arrived at PWM.

Graduation Festivities: we're done with PA school--Jillian and Jason too!!!

Packing, Train Museum, Ward Activity Prep, Seafood Lunch and Farewell to Portland Headlight.

"Linger Longer" Last ward activity --- and it was a SUCCESS!!

Packing,  Cleaning, Final Cardboard Box Dumpster Dive.

Packing, Cleaning, Painting, Loading Moving Truck, Lobster Dinner, Sunset Walk on Beach, Motel.

Cleaning Check (Full refund!), Farewells: Wafi & Wael will be much missed:( On the Road!

7 hours in a 100 degree car - NYC!!

PANCE (PA Board Exam) studying Begins 24/7

Van A/C repaired :) Queens Zoo, then looooooong drive to Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh 6th Ward Memorial Day Picnic at Moon Park - Classic.

Ian studied and studied. Took PANCE. Got 747/800. 97% in US :)

Called Jenilee in LA...so excited to have one friend there!
Ian, Mom, Erika, Josh, Pat, Jake, Toltons: Unpacked moving truck and prepared our house, THANKS!!

Using LA WST Craigslist LOTS.  Stove, microwave, fridge, dining table.
Sewickley YMCA...we miss our Y:(
Pittsburgh with Brook, Kenz & Tracie.  Arts Festival, IKEA, Gabes, Catching Lightning Bugs.

Ian arrives back in Pittsburgh. Talks in Church that day :/
Jacob discovers watercolor painting.  Benjamin tries to knock the door down at bedtimes.
Tried to fly to Barbados. 1-1/2 hours later Ian picks me up at the airport. It was my choice.

Quality Family Time: Pirates Game, Dinosaur Museum, Bonfire, Hanging out.
Trying to sell our 2 cars here.  Trying to buy 1 car for CA.
Calling friends in Portland.  Hanging out with Wendy in Pittsburgh.
Working on the house in Pittsburgh--Ian has blood blisters. The boys make swimming pools.

....Hopefully more full weeks to come:) INCLUDING Finally moving into our home in California!!

Is it easier to clean dirty underwear or the van floor?

There was a boy I was interested in while at college who invited me one Saturday afternoon out for a ride in his brothers car. I thought it was a hot date, until we drove 2 blocks down the road to the self-serve car wash and I was instructed to operate the soap squirter while he managed the scrub brush so no quarters were wasted. We had to have the car back to his brother in shining condition or he would never get to use it again to take another girl out.

Though I've gotten over the dejection of that experience, the thriftiness of his method of car washing has forever stayed in my mind.

Today I took our van two blocks down the road to the gas station to have it emptied of Target popcorn, the local beach and billions of granola bar wrappers. I wanted to do such a thorough job I even took the boys car seats out. I put in my token and raced as 5 minutes counted down on the huge silver vacuum canister.

Where are my boys you ask? "Cleaning the outside of the car" with the snow removal brushes. They were very content. Until they weren't.

Over the whir of the sucking I missed the whole "Warning Beep" and before I knew it my van floor was immaculately clean all for one very obvious spot. I was feeling compulsive so I forked out the extra dollar for 5 whole more minutes with the high power vacuum.

Somewhere in the first few minutes Jacob told me he had to use the potty. Luckily, I chose the stall farthest from the road so I told him to go between the fence and car seat to pee. I couldn't waste money to help him.

Minutes later he was back to tell me that he went. "Mommy, I went pee and then poop, and I didn't even get any in my underwear! Doesn't that make you so happy?!"

Not really believing it because he NEVER goes without a fight or maybe not wanting to believe it I continued to use the last few seconds of my dollar's worth of cleaning---not wasting a cent!

Of course something had to happen to snap me out of this obsessive cleaning/thrifty trance. There's nothing like two boys, with fresh human poop on their shoes walking around the floor of your newly vacuumed car to do just that!

Luckily I was at the car wash and could easily switch the vacuum to shampoo and have it taken care of like "that", right?! Well, it didn't go as smoothly as that sounds but eventually the mess was contained, cleaned as best as possible and I am searching for the lesson I am supposed to have learned from that. Any ideas?!

Until then I have some shoes to disinfect.

Frozen

These are a few of the surrounding areas of Jackman. This sunset was taken about 1/4 mile from where I am staying. Jackman sits on the edge of Big Wood Lake. The two little signs stuck in the frozen lake are snowmobile trail markers, the lake is a popular snowmobile arena. I have to admit, just like any attempt to photograph a sunset, this picture just doesn't do it justice.

I think this is the neatest thing. These are little islands in a lake a little bit outside of town along the drive home. When I was looking at it, it looks like you could just go walk along the ice and start sliding these islands around, pushing them over the ice. There was something stirring about these vast open spaces and flat, glimmering frozen lakes.

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Luckily, I think the White Witch has started to loose her power and there are signs of spring. Here in Jackman there is a season that I had never heard of before. It is called "mud season". It comes between winter and spring. It falls in late march into April where a lot of the snow and ice have started to melt and where everything turns to mud. It is a celebrated season among the locals here because it signals the only time of year that there are not any visitors in town. The snowmobilers go home when the snow goes, and the campers and boaters don't come until it is warmer. There is a sign up sheet here in the medical office where all of the staff have signed up for the annual mud season party where they go to the muddiest location they can find and well.....go get muddy. Food is also a key part of this festivity where "mud (meat) balls" are served, and "Gritty taters" can be sampled.

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On the medical side of things, if there one thing that I could do to best help the overall health of the people of Jackman it would be to get rid of their confounded snowmobiles!!! I have lost track of the back pain, knee pain, you-name-it pain that I have seen because of these confounded contraptions. I guess looking at the big picture, snowmobiling is a huge part of their existence. It plays a large part of their trasportation, entertainment, and livelyhood up here. I don't think this place would exist if the snowmobile had never been invented.

Jackman: The commute.

I made the 3 hour long 165 mile commute up to Jackman this morning after a wonderful weekend back home with my beautiful family and a great birthday party. A 3 hour drive allows plenty of time for reflection and you realize just how much you don't want to leave your family, especially being away a week at a time. It also doesn't help when the farther you travel north, the more and more snow is still on the ground. When I left Portland, I was enjoying an actually pleasant morning with that fresh spring dirt/life-is-coming-back-to-the-world smell. And when I got to Jackman, winter had not loosened her grips a bit. But, as you may be able to see from the above photo, the river that runs along the road up to Jackman has broken through the ice. Just 3 days ago when I came down, the river was completely frozen over. There is hope! Anyway, during my commute, as I was pondering the vast intricacies of life and rocking out to the great James Taylor, I got to thinking about my new found community. The more and more as I searched to understand the sociological oddity that is rural America, I came to the conclusion that living in a small town like Jackman would be like living all aspects of life completely within an LDS ward.

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Example #1: Everyone here knows everyone on a first name basis and there are very few secrets that last more than a few days without them becoming public knowledge. Last Friday was my birthday which I happened to mention to Dr. Doyle the day before my birthday. When I walked into the clinic on Friday morning, I was followed in by all of the nurses and office staff in a great chorus of "happy birthday" and a fresh batch of muffins. Throughout the day I would pass an unfamiliar housekeeper or resident at the nursing home who would wish me a happy 26th birthday!!! That was so great!! Last Thursday I went to have dinner at the local eatery and as I was sitting down at my booth, a woman came out of the kitchen and headed in my direction. I had never seen her before. She said "Sorry to bother you, I know you are not working right now, but I have a question." She then proceeded to ask me a medically related question in front of the other restaurant patrons. I will admit I felt a little awkward, and a little freaked out- kind of like I was in an episode of the twilight zone. Who are these people and how do they know me? But like entering into any new ward, anonymity is not easily preserved.

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Example #2: I had to laugh at this one. Instead of at a ward building, here at the health center, if you go into the kitchen, you will find various forgotten pieces of tupper-ware with the previous owners last name inscribed on top with black sharpie marker. Who knows how long they have been there, but hey, who's going to take them?

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Example #3: People is family!! I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see people display care and compassion to one another. I have heard many times that if you are ever in need in Jackman, the whole town is there to help. If you ever get your car stuck in the snow around here, it doesn't stay stuck for long! Everyone comes out with their snow-blowers and plows. Also, if anyone is going "down-river" (that is the colloquial phrase for going out of town to the "big cities") everyone makes sure to ask their friends and family members if they need anything. I have heard it many times "Hey, I am headed down-river...do you need anything?" I love this place.

The Jackman Experience- #707

Hello everyone, this is Ian. I think this is my first official contribution to our blog (yikes). Well, I believe my wife is right when she says it would be a shame not to document the truly unique experience that I am having here in Jackman, Maine; population: 706 (make that 707 for the next 6 weeks). I am fulfilling my PA school assigment to do a 6-week family practice clinical rotation in a rural setting, and I don't think there is a more appropriate place than here to earn the title of "rural". It has been almost 2 weeks now of being up here, and everday I am discovering the fascinating quirks and qualities of this strange new winterly (isolated)world.

Jackman is the last stop on your way from western Maine up into Canada, about 20 miles from the border. The nearest town/settlement with more than about 200 people in it is about 50 miles away. It is known as the snowmobiling capitol of Maine, with good reason. Jackman is a beautiful place, well, I should clarify that the surrounding countrside is beautiful. This is forest country filled with thousands of acres of forest and hundreds of miles of logging roads and snowmobile/ATV trails. This is also Moose country where, no kidding, the moose do outnumber the people. Unfortunately I havn't seen any yet, moose that is, but I hope that will change before I go. It is also home to Jackman Region Health Center where I will be spending the next several weeks learning the ways of rural medicine.

The health center consists of a family practice office, a mini-laboratory, an urgent care room, and a 12 bed nursing home attached to the side. This is mainly a one doc operation. Dr. Doyle has been here for 22 years and is here most of the time. This includes being on call every night incase any emergency happens and I mean ANY emergency. There is another doctor and another PA that take turns covering the weekends in case of emergency and occasionaly fill in when Dr. Doyle is away. The other staff here were many hats. We have one nurse who is our phlebotomist, lab technician, and lab manager. We have another nurse who is our part time receptionist, clinic nurse, medical records manager, and x-ray technician. These people are wonderful and they are very good at what they do. I hope to share over the next few weeks the great (and often humerous ) idopsyncrasies of practicing medicine in such a way. Here is an example:

Our wonderful labratory person has Friday's as her "on-call day" where if there is any blood work to be done, then we are to call her in to work from home. An occasion just so happened that we had to call her in to perform some blood work last friday morning. After she finished the tests that we needed here in the clinic, she said, just as normal as can be, " I will be on my sled, so just call me and I will come right in". For those who may not understand the significance........one: a "sled" is the term for snowmobile around here, and two: most lab technicians in the world usually do not take call while on their snowmobiles. How great is that.

The Funnies

Jacob likes to call people, "Funnies." He almost uses that name as a light-hearted insult. While wrestling with his dad, he'll stop and say "Daddy, you're such a funny!!" then he'll get back to trying to put his little arm around Ians neck.

I've added a anew gadget on sidebar of some of the funny things Jacob says. Granted it's not even a percent of what comes out of his mouth, but it's better some than nothing.

Enjoy!

We Miss...

We really miss our friends and think about them everday....

but we are slowly making some friends here....then we'll be back home again!

Halloween

We had a very fun halloween this year...so much fun we continued to celebrate without posting anything. Halloween will forever remind us of the hardest year of our lives that started around that season in 2008. So we felt very accomplished "Tackling our Dragons" head on this fall time. Thanks to our Portland friends & Family -- We did it!

The ward Halloween party was a success...more so in the eyes of some than others (probably least successful in the eyes of the co-ordinater)...it was kind of a big deal though, that even the Sister Missionaries dressed up---they are such cute cats!
Halloween night came sooner thatn I remember in Pittsburgh---probably because it gets dark so early. We had quite the trick-or-treating parade. Our neighbors brought friends from UNE as well as an Iranian family who kinda laughed at us the whole way. We invited our friends from Sudan, but since Mona was 8-1/2 months pregnant we took the extra two boys on our route. Mona was quite surprised when we showed up hours later with her two tired out boys lugging heaving sacks of candy....It's fun introduing people to our traditions:)