Hey everyone
My e-mail account was hacked recently and I need to change all of my online things different things (haha, i’m so vague) Anyways, to the point. I am going to change my blog to a different name. I’m sorry I haven’t done anthing lately. Please text me your e-mail address and I will send you my new url to my new blog. Thanks sorry for the lack of posts.
I am doing a double post tonight because there are a lot things on my mind.
Here I am sitting at home, sick. In between laying down and napping, I did a lot of discussing today with my family about many subjects that have arisen, mainly about the church. Sometimes I get so mad at myself. I don’t like the church. It scares me all the time. I know that I am supposed to love the body of Christ, but that is something I have struggled with deeply. I want so badly to love them, but my heart is offended and frusterated.
I have at least taken a step in the right direction. The church is a we not a they. I am part of it, therefore this is my problem also. I do not have some special knowledge that makes me better. I know that I need revelation and that I am part of the problem.
We do not know love. We do not know what it means to love God. And we do not know God’s love. Some know how to love others really well, but are not alive in love with God. Some focus so hard of loving God, they do not love other well. Me for example. I try so hard to love God that I alienate myself from people. If I don’t deal with people I don’t sin as easily therefore I can live more righteously to please and love God more. That is why I guess I’ve become so bitter towards the church. Now this is something that I believe needs to be addressed. I’ve seen the manifestation of these two extremes in my life. One of them “loves” others so much they are blind to their one with God, while the other “loves” God so much they are blind to others.
To the people who love others: God made us to be in love with Him. This is the first and greatest commandment. It is our highest calling to love Him with all we have. We cannot love rightly if we have not experienced the love God personally. We must fall madly in love with Him and pursue to know His love. In order to love we must know the Lover.
To the people who love God: While we are striving to love God, there is one thing we have forgotten. The Holy Spirit dwells inside all Christians. God expresses His love through other and to others that we might ‘tangibly’ feel Him. The love of God is expressed through His people. Encouragement and speaking the thoughts of God to other is imperative to know the love He has for us. By encouraging we are extorting life and love into others. By speaking the thoughts of God constantly we beging to know what He is like. God chose us to be salt and light in the earth. We are love that we might know His love. If we truly love Him, His love will sustain us in our times of weekness.
To all: WE MUST ENCOURAGE AND SPEAK LIFE TO ONE ANOTHER. This has been a lost ancient tradition. Jewish tradition during Sabbot, the father speaks life and blesses upon the household. We must sit down rest and proclaim the love and thoughts of God over our brothers and sisters at all times. It breeds a community that practices the first and second commandment. It causes us to commune with God (first commandment) and speak His thoughts over others (second commandment)
Elections are over and now the dust has settled. Barrack Obama won.
To be honest, I’m not that surprised that he won. I heard over and over that Mr. McCain and Mrs. Palin were chosen to be redeemers. The US was going down the drain and they were the answer. Churches shouted from the rooftops that they were the ones God wanted. They turned out to be wrong. Turns out that God has chosen Barrack Obama to be the president. Not that I doubted the churches ability to hear from God, but I doubted their motives.
It came down to this question at the end of all this, and I want you to ask yourself this question. Righteousness>God’s Will? That seemed to be the theme that I kept hearing day in and day out. Surely any Christian will say God’s Will, but I believe that the church was disillusioned at this. But this election, in the charismatic community as well as others, seemed to have an affect upon people (riding the fence if you prefer). Some where so taken in by the hubub about McCain and Palin being the righteousness that would redeem the country, “chosen by God” many would say. Others would sit back in silence and wait, I was in that category. I heared things, “God desires righteousness therefore McCain and Palin are what He wants.” Things didn’t sit well with me.
I want to refer to one of my older posts. “We Ask Because We Do Not Know Love”. God is sovereign and love. Don’t seperate the two. God’s Will will always triumph over righteousness, because His desire is for love. Love births righteousness. We cannot be righteous if it weren’t for love.
I believe Barrack Obama was chosen because He wants the church to understand love. This can only be done by tribulation. These next years are going to be a dividing line for the church. The principle foundation of this division is going to be the matter of love. Is out love for God and people higher than ourselves?
A generation of Christians reared among push buttons and automatic machines is impatient of slower and less direct methods of reaching their goals. We have been trying to apply machine-age methods to our relations with God. We read our chapter, have our short devotions, and rush away, hoping to make up for our deep inward bankruptcy by attending another gospel meeting or listening to another thrilling story told by a religious adventurer lately returned from afar. The tragic results of this spirit are all about us. Shallow lives, hollow religious philosophies, the preponderance of the element of fun in gospel meetings, the glorification of men, trust in religious externalities, quasi-religious fellowships, salesmanship methods, the mistaking of dynamic personality for the power of the Spirit; these and such as these are the symptoms of an evil disease, a deep and serious malady of the soul.
I have been here at IHOP for about 5 months plus a couple of days. In this time here, I’ve realized something about myself and the people around IHOP.
Time doesn’t relate the same as it does for most people. Here at IHOP, everything operates in 2 hours integrals. This doesn’t seem to be a big deal. But when you sole purpose of being there is basically to be intimate with God, it changes your perspective on everything. My whole being is now rigged to complete devotion and wholeheartedness.
I realized this the other day. I was had some time to spare, about an hour until I had to be at the next prayer meeting. I thought to myself, “I think I should go home and say hi to everyone.” I stopped myself though, and I began to think about how much time I really had. A hour didn’t seem like enough to do anything. Normally a hour is an eternity in some minds. I felt that I didn’t have enough time to really visit with my family. I didn’t have time to discuss what was going on in my life. I didn’t have time to hear about there’s. If I wanted to get to know them, I would need to spend a long time doing things with them. Truly discussing the occurrence of our lives.
I have been spending a minimum of 2 hours, an average between 4-6 hours, in the prayer room searching and beginning to know God. I pour myself out in that time, desperate to know and become intimate with Him. If I have a set, I worship hard for 2 hours strait. If I have a class, I spend 2 hours rigorously learning about God. Everything, I pour myself out into what I am doing. I express myself fully. I get involved deeply with what I am doing.
When I see time now, I don’t seem small incriminates of time. The only time worth spending is a long time. Not much is done in a short amount of time. I spend at least a hour for lunch with a person. I spend at least a hour working on my music. Time is different. If I have something to spend time on, it must be done with full concentration and wholeheartedness. That is the beginning of the eternal mindset, when we start doing things wholeheartedly with all we have at the expense of time. I think a lot of people know what I am talking about. A hour with a person isn’t enough, thirty minutes reading isn’t enough, and the way we perceive time has changed.
I had being shallow in whatever I do. I want to be passionate. The way we use our time is a reflection of that inside of us. The things we spend time on reveals our passions. Pretty simple, but it shows a great deal about a person. I am just curious what everyone thinks about this. I was also wondering if any IHOPers experience the same thing.
My inner life – Beautifully Broken
My outside life – Faithfully Provided
My friends – Close But Distant
My family – Lovely
I dance, I sing, I cry, I know I am alive.
Both the person who trusts in reason and intellect
and the person who trusts in faith and intuition,
while coming to very different conclusions,
are asking the same question:
What is true?
Hey everyone. I know that I haven’t written in a while. I really don’t have an excuse. God has been teaching me a lot lately. I’ve just been digesting it all I guess you could say. I’ve been doing well though. God is so mercy and lovely. I’ve fallen in love with Him all over again. I’m also beginning to understand a little more of His Father’s heart. I hope to hear from some of you soon. I’m excited, my best friend Spencer is coming back in town this week. I can’t wait to see him. It feels like forever. I’ve been doing quite a number of sets lately. Here are the times if you want to come to any of them.
Sundays: 9pm-10pm and 2am-4am
Monday: 12am-2am (intercession)
Tuesday: 6pm-8pm and 4am-6am (intercession)
Wednesday: none
Thursday:none
Friday: 10pm-12am
Saturday: 12am-2am
I have been troubled lately just by situations that are happening in life right now. Decisions are to be made here and there. The future is coming up quicker than I think. Not to mention I have to get everything done while on a night schedule. I was confused and restless in the midst of chaos.
Then the question came up in my head, “Why is all this happening to me?” The question once again came up in another conversation with a very dear friend of mine. “Why is He letting these things happen?” I sat down right then and there. I started to think, muse and ponder all of this.
I realized something. “Why am I worrying?” God created me for love. God is love. This life is all about love. If I have said yes truly in my heart, which I have. Everything in my life will head towards love. I was created, I am drawn, I am predestined for love. I ask these silly questions, “Why is this happening?” because I do not know the truth of God’s love and what love is. Because I have said yes, God will pursue me with all He has until I am brought into intimacy with Him. Though things happen to me, it is all towards the love of God. Sometimes it takes measures that we deem unreasonable, but would we have listened to Him if He spoke another way? God does what He does for the perfection of love. Who am I to question Him?
All we need to do is to know God’s love. We are insecure in this life, because we do not know the true reality of His love. He is Sovereign. He is Love. They go hand in hand. Never separate these truths.
Thoughts of the Night 