Its been a while....

Dam I havent blogged in forever... I could so get in trouble for this right now. Yes I am at work ...shyt its GOOD FRIDAY.. when I pulled into the parking lot that shyt was empty as hell. I said to myself..ummm did I miss the dont come to work memo. lol

Tonight is fuzzys birthday party at Secrets in NYC. I have a date tonight too. Yayyy me. Supposed to be going to see Why Did I Get Married Too!!!! I really enjoyed the 1st 1 so I know this one will be off the chain.

I soon will be moving to Wisconsin. In January my department was asked to relocate. We really didnt have a choice , it was either be fired or move. Ummmm since the economy is kinda fickle these days, I opted to stay and move. You know I had to get a pay increase before signing that dam contract though. I was not beat and they better not decrease it when I get out there. This will be my first offical place, my first time away from home and Ill be states away from my family. YESSSSS I love it lol. Dont Judge Me lol. I will miss the bright lights of NYC and the late nights at Twin house bugging out drinkn, Going to Target with my cousins, Fuzzys card partys *side eye* lol (love ya). I look at it all as a new beginning.

My oldest nephew is almost 3yrs old in august. My 2nd nephew will be 1yrs old in may...wow time flys.

(pause) moms is ringing my phone.

My mother always seems to call me on pay day to borrow money. She called me 2 weeks ago and I told her flat out NO I dont have it. I felt bad but then again I felt good too. I hate feeling used and I wouldnt do that to anyone so I wouldnt expect someone to do that to me.

I recently after years of being close, I officially stopped enabling my best friend. I am showing him tough love. I just dont understand how one can be so dam comfortable at 27 yrs old, smoke weed all day, live in your moms house, dont work and think its okay. I wasnt taught to be comfortable. I was always taught to always want more for myself. The straw has broke the camels back. Two weeks ago a group of friends invited me to the city since it was a beautiful day and I accepted. Being the nice friend I am I allowed my bestie to tag along. Its crazy because I knew he didnt have any money and he was already expecting me to pay for him, we were seated at the restaurant and he started looking over at me and was like all I want is a drink and ima just eat off of what you order. NO THE HELL YOU WILL NOT. (in my head). I was so embarrassed. Its sad because everybody at the table was younger then him and we all have good paying jobs. I just shook my head. I have came to the realization that this nigga thinks of me as his boyfriend. NO MAMMM. I will not pay for you everytime we go out with friends, I will not take you to go pay your cell phone, I will not come over on a monday and watch a movie with you. I think he was so set in his ways due to me doing things for so long and being blind to the fact. I had to sit back and think to myself ....WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. I refuse to be around someone that is not trying to better thereselves. This nigga said when I move to wisconsin he moving with me and the sad part is I think he would try because sooner or later his living situation will be null and void.

Okay im done typing.. dam that felt good to write again. Maybe Ill keep it up for a moment... I have a lot of catching up to do with my readers....Happy New Years, Merry Xmas, Happy Valentines Day, Kwanzaa, etc

Happy Birthday Shawn, Mark O, Mark B, Rico, Wil, Fuzzy and my lil bro Marc.

I have to take his lil bad ass to the mall after work... this bitch is spoiled... what 13yr old you know has a hotel get togther since he was 11yrs old now the bitch gone be 14 tomorrow. My parents better cut that shyt out before its too late.


Holla at cha boy. Until Next Time.................

UPDATE?!?!?!?

Remember when I said my sister might be pregnant..So ummm yeah she been saying for months shes not everytime we ask her, but I get a text from her last weeks saying please dont be mad at me and im 8 MONTHS PREGNANT....More to come stay tuned....what kind of fuckery is this ughhhh. I got some drama for ya ass I tell ya mannnn.

Hey Babe - Shareefa ft Bobby Valentino

Just an update.....Weezy, Keri,T-Pain....

What good all my black, asian, white people lmao...Hope you all are having a good day. Im just sitting here waiting for the day to end...I swear I have some bangn ass connects lol. My boy hooked me up with skybox seats for free to see lil wayne tonight at the prudential center in newark and I didnt even have to suck his dick lol. I will try to take pics...I will stress "try" lol. We gone be chilling..all you can eat food and beer. lol. Im taking my 2 cousins. The line up consists of Weezy, Keri Hilson, T-Pain and Gym class or glass heros...whoever the hell they are lol.

Just to give yall an update on my illegitmate brother...so I emailed my mom the other day and I was like can I ask you a serious question? She replied back sure and I asked was "he" my real brother. She then replied back "Yes, we raised ya'll as brother didnt we?....I think your father should answer this one..." I swear my world was crushed you mean to tell me all these years y'all have been keeping this from us..WTF. He didnt even know my father wasn't his real father. I have been hoodwinked lmao. Life goes on its is what it is. I guess the whole incest..brother,sister thing is out the door huh. LOL life is so fuckn strange lol...I'm just gone to leave it alone.

Happy thursday/friday...because y'all know a brotha only posts like 1 a week if that lol. so this shit counts for fridays post lol.


Holla !!!!

Happy Birthday/ Drama

Hey everbody thank you for the comments in my last post...the buck doesn't stop there.

First, I would like to give a birthday shot out to my french friend "Charles" (Click the name to view his blog). Happy 23rd birthday buddy. I love you punk. (LOVE ME !!! LOL)

Okay now lets get into the FUCKERY thats going on in my family. I have debated whether or not I was going to share this, but here it goes. I recently found out from a family memeber that allegedly my brother of 18 years is not really my brother and my father is not really his father. To make matters worse the source even disclosed that allegedly MY sister (19yrs) (no relation to my brother) was caught in the back room of my aunts house on top of my brother (18yrs). When I found this out I was enraged and disgusted. Its been on my mind now for about 2 weeks now and I'm trying to bite my tougne since this was told to me in confidence. Recap my brother still lives with my aunt and my sis and the baby stay with me. I was saying to myself, out of all the dick and pussy in the world did y'all have to fuck each other "allegedly". I mean I have messed with 2 or 3 cousins but a brother or sister whether half or by marriage or different mother and fathers..You still in some way have some type of association. My question to you people is .....How should I approach this situation? I swear my sis is getting big as hell, Im praying to GOD she is not pregnant again and it's just due to her sitting home on her ass all day with the baby, no GED, no JOB at 19 years old. I swear I think we didn't come out the same pussy, cuz this bitch is all fucked up.

HAPPY FRIDAY

I'm bout to put yall up on this track by DJ CLASS thats getting airplay on the radio. Its called IM THE ISH (SHIT). "I got patron in my cup....." Its been remixed by Lil Jon, JD and Trey Songz and when you feeling tipsy and the base is bangn in ya ear...this shit go mad hard. LOL

Until Next Time.....

Where Should I Start?

Let see shall we ...ummmm lately I have just been stressing man. Seriously you all know from my previous post that I sum times struggle with my sexuality but now the shit has just come full circle. Lately the female I have been talking to is starting to show me more and more affection and Im starting get more and more annoyed. lol I mean I really get upset to the point that I dont wanna be bothered. Its bad enough she calls me at work at least 2xs a day then wants to chill after work and that takes away from talking to my boyfriend when I get home because me and her wind up chilln till like 11 or 12am. I know trying to juggle the 2 is wrong but I have a good ass dude that understands my situation and allows me too carry on this way. I know some of yall are reading this post like WTF..Yes my dude knows I talk to ol gurl and was willing to take on the obstacle when he met me. I have been trying to slowly break it off with her for about 2 weeks now but the last convo I had with her telln her we should just be friends..Shorty told me I should rethink my answer...What is a man to do any advice for a brother???

Now on to my boyfriend...lately we havent been seeing eye to eye...I dont see him and he doesnt see me. We have been starting to question our love for each other. His love hasn't changed but lately I have been giving him doubt mine has. I'm trying to hold on to what little we have and make it work. He's the perfect dude, the most understanding person you could ever come to know. Its just lately I haven't been communicating with him...He feels like I leave him in the dark about stuff..I dont mean to do it on purpose...ughhhh nobody said relationships were easy...I guess ill take the blame for this one..sighhh

Moving on WHY can't I be happy...I tend to wanna be misserable sometimes or want a lot of drama to go on in my life....I know its crazy right???!! but alot of the situations that are occuring in my life right now, my dumb ass could of avoided the moment they arrised...I have been listening to Jazmine Sullivan lately and that chick can write. Lions,Tigers and Bears is speaking to a nigga werd up...

Next...I plan on moving out in June..good rite??? NOT. the catch is me and my cousin made plans to move in with each other a while ago..My cousin is you can say out to my family..but he has never admited it to certain people...I know when I tell my parents that im moving in with him Its going to raise some eyebrows...Im preping myself for the speech that im going to receive. The who,what,when,why and how questions. Im scared of being accepted by my parents..I still have time to back out of the situation to save face..My friends tell me all the time that onces you get out on your own and start paying your own bills that all that changes and you tend to not care about what people think. I hope that applies to me. Im startn to lean more towards dudes anyway...but until I cross that bridge ill just stick to the norm.

I have a question people....answer truthfully. I know I have male and female readers.

Do you trust your lover/wife/husband/significant other? Whether yes or no what makes him or her trust/untrustworthy?

Whats the 411?

What It do blogg family....I know a nigga has been away for a minute. Trust me ya boy has been thru some shit and is experiencing some shit. I have been commenting on some of y'alls blogs..hopefully today I can play catch-up..ATL was kewl but I would never do it again..I have never seen so many drag queens in 1 mall (Lenox Mall). Im sorry ATL dudes..I see why the DL 1's stay in hiding and are hard to find cuz the shit you see walking around is so fuckn obvious lol and a hot ass mess..Shot out to Norris. I see you punk. I will be updating you guys on my life thus far....Some changes and some shit that is still ongoing. I'm trying to develope a new style of writing. Y'all know I like to curse, so that wont change much lol but I will be writing more meaningful post so you guys can better understand my point of views and how a nigga feel from day to day. Ya dig.

Happy Valentines Day, Congrats Mr Obama (I can't wait to see my new paycheck LOL).

Go pick up the new Bobby V CD..FIREEEE

Atlanta here I come....

Hey bloggers..Happy Friday...

Right now im packn my clothes right now, im tired and i wanna go to sleep. Im going to Atlanta today, my flight leaves at 1:29pm..Me and a couple of my friends are on the same flight this should be interesting. This is my first time going to an out of state gay event and im scared as hell lol...Im told ATL is the place to be this MLK weekend so ima give it a try. I told my mom I was going to DC, im shook right now due to that dam plane crashing into the hudson river. The last thing I wanna do is be on a plane and crash an have my parents thinking im somewhere else and im not. Ill try to take pics. I heard EVE is suppose to be performing and we suppose to see Notorious today. Im getting excited as I type. Pray for me yall.

Ill holla..for those of you in the atlanta area..hit the kid up xavion20@gmail.com

Please say a lil prayer for my boy "Q". he has been missing for over a week now. The way things are looking we dont think hes still with us. Live,Love, Laugh and No Regrets. Life is too short.

X