August 19, 2009
Protected: Thankful
Posted by Akuma under Friends, Life, RelationshipsEnter your password to view comments.
August 18, 2009
Protected: At The Crossroads
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August 20, 2008
The miracles of Facebook , I found a long lost friend who I haven’t seen or talk to in over 6 years. We drift apart for different reasons and hopefully I am able to rekindle a friendship with her. She is someone who I hold important in my life and hopefully I can tell her how much she means to me and her family. Maybe I can rekindle a lost piece of my life that needs to be repair. Hopefully I can and will….hopefully this Friday, I will find out.
I’m outz,
C
August 5, 2008
My mother seems to think my luck in terms of money will be great this year and so far my mom has been pretty right on the point. I won a contest at work today netting me a hundred dollars and a check came in for another rebate for another item. Plus all those crazy hours that I put in for work is paying off….but sad to say all the saving I been doing is going to my upcoming Asia trip. But I am quite proud of this trip, for this is the first trip that I am totally financing by myself and trying to pay in cash for. Just 46 days to go!
Maybe I should buy some lottery tickets to see how far my luck is going to take me!
I’m outz,
C
July 18, 2008
So two of my good coworkers friends is moving on with their lives. With one of the being one of the more senior analyst, that leaves me moved up another spot in terms of seniority. It is quite sad that most of the people I worked with has moved on but life goes on. I am still going to be in good contact with both of them but it makes me think that I need to focus on going back to school and finished up my BA. If I want to move up or move on, I will need to step it up and get moving. I don’t want to be stuck on just my technical skills and not have something else to fall back on. Guess it is for the most part of growing up. Hopefully I can make that happen soon.
I’m outz,
C
July 14, 2008
Friendships – Ending of One & Renewal of Another
Posted by Akuma under RelationshipsLeave a Comment
Funny how in a span of a week, I ended a friendship to an acquaintance who crossed the line and renewed a friendship (albeit slowly) a friend who I kept my distance from due to the negativity of their strained relationship.
One friendship was a casual friend who I have met a few years back and he was a cool guy. We enjoyed hanging out and we exchange emails. We rarely contact and suddenly a few weeks back started to talking to me again. We caught up and started talking to via chat programs. Then suddenly yesterday, my supposedly straight guy friend asked me about my relationship with M and proceeded to ask me if I would make a better choice of a boyfriend for me that he will treat me better than M. WAIT A MINUTE, this guy is a like classic Asian frat guy asking me if he would be better for me?!? How did this happen? So basically he was “curious” to being with a guy and wanted me to be his first guy…..HELL NO…..(though honestly, in the back of my mind, who didn’t want to convert a straight guy over?!?!?….) The worst part that he continue to pursue me after I said no! So I told him that we’re not talking any more and blocked all chat programs. It’s was just too weird for me and more than once I thought he was bipolar.
Another old friend of mines tonight gotten in touch with me to see if I would be her model again for her photo project I done with her 3 years ago. The immediate reaction was: “should I?….probably not” This is an old good friend who I kept my distance due to the constants fights between her and husband with me getting in caught of the middle of it more than once. Then a few years ago I said “enough” and just decided to keep my distance and not go to any of the events that they invited me to. I really didn’t need that negativity in my life. Then, tonight after talking a bit and with her addressing the issue that strained our relationship (which I didn’t bring up) and with her apologizing for all the fights that she put me and another dear friend through. It was only then, I felt that she sincerely meant it and we decided to make a point to meet up again early next month and go from there and finally introduce them to M. I don’t know what to expect and where we can go from there, but all I can say is one step at a time. Only when I see with my own eyes if they have changed. After all it has been 3 years. I am a different person from 3 years ago. I have changed…maybe so did they. We shall see.
I’m outz,
C
July 10, 2008
I have a slight bald spot behind my head for about a year now. It is about 2 inches long by 1 inch wide. And no hair has grown from that spot at all for the past year. It couldn’t explain why I had such a spot so I decided finally to go see a dermatologist. I went a few days ago and the dermatologist thinks that it can be clear up with some corisone shots behind my head.
Fast forward to a couple days later and some of my coworkers are seeing a little of hair fuzz showing up on the bald area. Very little but enough for people to actually see it now. I am totally excited to see the end results and I hope it will turn out favorably to me. The dermatologist said to follow up with him for the next few months to see if it is progressing.
So now I wait….and hope…..
I’m outz,
C
July 3, 2008
Some days I feel that I work too hard. For the day before a national holiday, everybody’s minds is on holiday mode, thinking of the bbq they are going to, what to wear for the hopefully the nice weather for tomorrow or whether or not they want to go see the fireworks in the city. The bosses to let everybody off a bit earlier since there wasn’t much to do….except for the big reports that was left behind for me to deal with. Instead of leaving early like everybody else. I ended up working overtime again and knocking out few more reports before I head home.
Why do I keep letting myself fall into this routine? Right now, I keep on telling myself that this is for my upcoming trip but deep down, I feel that there a fear that I might lose my fianancial independence and fall back to doing menial jobs. I am on par with people with JD in my department, I still want to go back to school and finish off my BA degree but so far I been advancing in my job so fast in the past two years that school was on the backburner and now for the first time in my life, I feel like I have a purpose and not have too worry too much about the stability of my job, even the the conditions of our job markets is saying so otherwise.
I also feel that I am also afraid of turning out like my father…being dependent of the government and not attaining much in the life. I strive to be as successful as I can and want to become something more than what my parents expect to me. I don’t want to become my dad as much as I love my dad. I still have hopes of achieving my dreams but now more than ever, I feel capacable that I will be able to do it. Funny how a few years time can change your preceptives on life.
I’m outz,
C
July 2, 2008
I finally found my writing voice again. For over a year now, I had this blogging block that wouldn’t go away. As soon I feel that I wanted to blog, I stop myself. A lot has happen in my life that I wanted to share but that block prevented me to do so….I think because I was very happy and it was something entirely new and wanted not give up those precious feelings and share those new feelings. I gave up writing for a while in order to give those feelings the privacy it needed and to focus on my life at hand.
Now all those thoughts are coming back, I feel that I found my inner voice again and words can flow more freely, thoughts of life is back into preceptions and I think I can incorporate my thoughts and fingers again and not compare it to what I write for work. It’s nice to feel that I can write again and enjoy it now.
So a few majors things I wanted to share.
1) M and I are living together by ourselves. We live right near Japantown and everything is so accessible. Island living was great but now we have the freedom to go out and do something rather hop onto a bus or car and drive over the bridge into SF.
2) I am planning for my big Asia trip overseas in September. The first time 1) paying for this whole trip by myself and 2) The first time back to Asia in 8 years. and 3) My first real long vacation in my life. This is the first time I have taken 3 weeks off from work to go on a trip. I am so excited about this and this is a big reward to myself for turning 30.
3) I’m finally feeling completely independent. Even though it funny to say that because I live with M. We pay everything equally and we take care of each other. But if somethings happens if we do break up. We will be fine being independent. That’s is a great feeling.
I’m outz,
C
May 23, 2007
This is an excellent short film about beauty. Hauntingly beautiful. Puts a lot of things in preceptive.
I’m outz,
C
Akuma's Inner Turmoil v.9.0 - Regeneration 
