Category Archives: lessons

With hope.

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Up until now I did maintain my narrative: “Delhi is a deranged city where people are devoid of looking at stars. Such absolute shame!” but in an over populated, over-crowded and over polluted city like Delhi, if, after a soft drizzle, you keep looking deep into the sky, have a little patience, clear your eyes and make sky your only love for some time; you can see stars twinkling. Though just three or four but you sure will!

This reminds me of a concept that I might have forgotten and kept locked in the darkest drawer of my congested, busy and dark life: Hope. It reminds me how we ought to have hope no matter what.

I read it somewhere that it is very difficult for anyone to strip off hope from the consciousness of an ordinary man. Because really what are ordinary and common people like us left with if not Hope? We can hope for far fetched fictions to turn into beautiful realities. We can Hope for a white rose in a cold desert. We can Hope for anything and everything. So why don’t we? Have we so lost ourselves in the hum-drum of this world that we have suddenly stopped believing?

Once upon a time I hoped of owning a room full of chocolates, so many that they would never end no matter how many I ate. I believed in the hope that if after a power cut I close my eyes long enough and then open them, the light bulb will glow. I believed in so many hopes. Though nothing like that happened but I can have a job and buy as many chocolates as I want. We passed years and my family could afford an inverter. Hopes become realities but only if we believe in them.

I know this is a far fetched concept and that for many hope is hoping against hope but man oh man, if I and you, the weirdest miracles of nature can live and walk this mighty earth, then anything is possible. Even Hope!

Sometimes people leave us behind!

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Have you ever wondered what happened to all those people whom you were good to? Do you wonder if they still remember you, or how you talk or what are your interests or what fascinates you or how are you putting up with life?

Well if you give your contact list a little scroll you will notice people who no longer notice your memories or people for whom you barely exist. It is quite heart-breaking to know that people who were once so importat for you have left you behind.

I recently had the honor of coming face to face with this truth. I spent half of my conscious teen life amidst a lot of people; people I dated, people who were my friends, people with whom I have shared a fair amount of my fears and people I voraciously loved and invested my time in and people who really mattered. Once upon a time my fairy tale like life had a long list of friends but now it has been filtered to three or four. Quite fascinating right?

I have realized that life is a sum total of moments, fragments of moments that we live. Our life is a memory, a constantly evolving memory and when I think about mine, it was a mere lie. People to whom I gifted my moments, don’t even remember me. They never even bothered to know if I was alive. It has dawned on me that I was never enough for these people who were so hungry for validation that they preyed on the next visible thing. I wouldn’t say they were the only ones at fault, I too was. I guess, I too needed some validation, but their validation and mine differed. Humans are hungry for love and care, it is imbibed in the basic nature of a human being, I too was but I could never bring myself to hurt someone just to get that small amount of lowly validation. I guess that is where emotional freaks are misunderstood. People think of them as weak creatures, they are preyed on for caring and loving too much. I too was.

I always tried to be faithful, good, obedient, lovely, caring, social and all the positive adjectives but not anymore. If life has taught me anything, it is that people whom you consider permanent don’t even consider you temporary. For them you are lowlier than a fling. Be it people whom you called friends or lovers or confidants, they sure leave you behind.

My Knight in the shining armor told me once, don’t give any tom dick and harry even the least amount of control over your life. Don’t be easily accessible, because people are in a habit of walking in a house with an open door on a winter night. They even feel free to sleep over, make a fire, eat and drink but they leave when it is sunny outside and don’t even bother to shut the door behind. So, learn to filter people, for every one isn’t worth knowing your fears, your weakness and everyone isn’t worth of your love and time and care. Don’t make people your permanents because people have a habit of leaving you behind.

Nothing stays

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Temporary, temporary, temporary!

This is the truth.

Everything in this life and world is temporary for nothing is meant to stay. Relationships, wealth, happiness, sadness, love, care, life and problems; everything is just temporary. I didn’t ever feel this word so deeply as I do it now. Things that I thought will stay for eternity, slip through my hands and I am but a helpless spectator, who is living the already designed life. I was never quite good with friendship, love, care and other emotions. These things never stayed too long. I never understood them, evaluated them and felt them too much. They just drift like a shadow in the dark, never to be found again. 

Things change and it is rightly said that “Change is the only constant”. I can feel it now. I almost though that my life was complete, that I had nothing to mourn over, to cry over. But now things are different. I invested too much in something that was never meant to stay and now there is a void, a void too deep to be filled. But there is nothing in my power. I can’t change what happened but yes I can choose the things that are to happen in future. It is my life, why should I let someone influence it in a bad way.

People never adjust too well to the changing circumstances, they never accept that things will always be this way now. The truth is too much for them, for the loss of certain things leave them numb and the dreams that they had decorated so well lie shattered on the floor of reality. I don’t blame them, after all they are just humans. Endurance crosses the level sometimes and the loss is too deep to bear. But what is the fun of mourning over something that was never meant to be yours? Why to wait for something that is never going to happen? Life is too short and we owe certain things to this damn life. We owe it happiness, a smile, contentment and patience. 

Live! For there just one life and people come and go. what matters is that the loved ones still live in our hearts. They aren’t separate, they aren’t too far. They stay close, closer than your heartbeat. You have given them a room in your heart and their essence will always stay.