Filed under: Go Sit Down, Judge Joe Brown Says : "DO BETTER.", PoliTricks as Usual
…if Cotton Hill McCain meets an untimely demise and Tina Fey Sarah Palin somehow becomes leader of the free world. Cause if it goes down like that, we are soooo screwed.
I’m sitting in my hotel watching live coverage of a townhall meeting in Grand Rapids, MI on Fox News.[1] This woman must have Cheez Whiz for brains. Someone in the audience asked her a question about the energy crisis, offshore drilling and oil production, which is allegedly her area of expertise.
She proceeded to recite the GOP Talking Points 101 Flashcards she’s been cramming to memorize for weeks, and midway through her explanation, she clearly drew a blank. She then proceeded to “freestyle” her answer, which sounded something like this.
You could literally see John McCain thinking “awww sh*t! I knew I shoulda picked Romney” as he rushed in to grab the mic , cut her off, and completed the thought she so terribly fumbled.
Palin, looking visibly flustered, simply took a few steps back and assumed the usual position.[2] I actually did feel momentarily sad for the woman.
[Editor’s Update: I also happened to catch her circle jerk interview with Sean Hannity. He tossed softballs and kept staring at her legs the entire time. Very creepy.]
Momentarily.
In a perfect world, Sarah Palin’s only future relevance would be on the back of a Trivial Pursuit card, not one melanoma away from The Number One Spot. We’ve heard a lot about “empty suits”. Can we all agree to just refer to Palin as an “empty skirt”, or is that just me being incredibly sexist as usual?
Question: Did you see the Palin/McCain townhall I’ve speaking of? Did it frighten you as much as it did me?
[1] I guess I should get a Twitter account for short messages like this. Do any of you Twitter? Could you dumb-down and explain it to me?
[2] And by “usual position”, I mean standing behind McCain, to his right side, looking smarmy and overdressed.
In the interest of being non-biased (as if), I figured I’d toss out a little red meat to my resident GOP stans. Enjoy.
Go ahead and pick on the guy. This was a pretty dumb assed gaffe.
In the interest of being non-biased (as if), I figured I’d toss out a little red meat to my resident GOP stans. Enjoy.
Go ahead and pick on the guy. This was a pretty dumb assed gaffe.
Filed under: Barry 4 Prez, Go Sit Down, Grand Hu$tle, PoliTricks as Usual, What A DoucheBag
Ok, the media fast is over. I tried, but after I read this nonsense, I just couldn’t take it no more.
Seriously, can we go ahead and do away with the charade that Tina Fey Sarah Palin is somehow qualified to become President? The moment they let the Pitbull In Lipstick (her words, not mine) off the chain (aka: following a teleprompted speech written by Karl Rove), she comes out the yard (aka: media seclusion) and bites us with this stunner.
Gov. Sarah Palin linked the war in Iraq with the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, telling an Iraq-bound brigade of soldiers that included her son that they would “defend the innocent from the enemies who planned and carried out and rejoiced in the death of thousands of Americans.”
The idea that the Iraqi government under Saddam Hussein helped al-Qaeda plan the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, a view once promoted by Bush administration officials, has since been rejected even by the president himself. But it is widely agreed that militants allied with al-Qaeda have taken root in Iraq since the U.S.-led invasion.
No, seriously. Even The President has since admitted that 9/11 and the Iraq war don’t have any real tangible connection. But Mrs. Palin, who lives so close the Russia that Nikita Koloff is her pilates partner, obviously is about 7 years late in receiving that message.
And this is who we want running the country in the unlikely event that a 72 year old with a history of battling cancer should meet his untimely demise?
Wigga please.
Let’s call this whole Palin/McCain 08′ candidacy (yeah, I said it!) what it is: a sham.
When pressed to name one substantial area where John McCain differs with George W. Bush on one of those Sunday morning news shows last weekend (yeah, I cheated), McCain Ace-Boon-Coon Ricky Davis couldn’t even fake it, and reverted back to that lazy “this campaign isn’t about issues” BS. And I for once happen to agree with Davis: of course this ain’t about issues, because if it were McCain would be getting his dusty clock cleaned.
But the GOP is so smart, they figured out a way to sidestep issues altogether, and make this campaign more about Palin than Obama in the process. Brilliant! Instead of being about gas prices, unemployment, the war, the housing market, education, crime, and vocoders, election 08′ has somehow morphed into an indictment of American sexism.
Never mind the fact that McCain used the same term himself describing Hillary Clinton just last Fall.
So, Palin can call herself a pitbull in lipstick, but when Obama merely hints at the fact that The McCain policies are tantamount to putting lipstick on a pig (a spot-on analogy), suddenly Obama’s a sexist who wants Palin barefoot, pregnant (again), and cooking Mooseburgers? Never mind that when the entire quote is listened to in context. Obama doesn’t even remotely mention Palin, unlike McCain, who mentioned Hillary in the same sentence. And perpetual victims (riiiight) that they are, white women (and some men) flock to her defense, as if white women somehow aren’t valued enough already in this country.
I’ll admit it, I thought McCain was on the edge of dementia when he chose Palin as his running mate. And if you look at her qualifications, it would be hard to disagree with my assertion. But the GOP is so wily, and knows how to prey on the ignorance of Middle America soooo well, that they successfully flipped the script and turned this into an actual contest. They pulled the ultimate sleight of hand and somehow made this about “Government Reform”, conveniently overlooking the fact that McCain’s been part of that very Government for nearly 3 decades. Kudos for them.
Let’s not get caught up in superficial nonsense. Just as in 04′ when the GOP Swiftboated a man who had valiantly served his country at war, in favor of a man who ducked the draft, they’re trying to run game on us yet again. I’ll admit, Obama’s milquetoast demeanor and lack of consistent fire is beginning to wear on me. He’s more concerned with not losing than he is with winning, and he needs to switch his game up quickly. But when you’re talking issues (and let’s not get it twisted, we are talking issues, not pigs) as much disdain as I hold for the Democratic Party, they’re on my side of the ledger more times than not where it matters.
Besides, what’s the alternative? Lipstick on a pig? I’ll pass.
Question: How will the GOP spin Palin’s 9/11-Iraq comment? How in the hamsammich can soooo many Americans be soooo stupid?
Palin Links Iraq to Sept. 11 In Talk to Troops in Alaska [WashPost]
Filed under: Go Sit Down, Grand Hu$tle, Judge Joe Brown Says : "DO BETTER.", Keep It In Your Pants, MLK is Crying Inside, Nigga Nonsense
Since I’m an equal opportunity offender, I couldn’t just pass along misinformation about the Palin family’s real life version of “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?”. Nope, I’m on a roll, so how about this Obama-related nugget of Negro Nonsense while I’m at it? Cause, you know, I’m just bipartisan like that.
He almost wrecked Barack Obama’s presidential dreams, and now firebrand pastor Jeremiah Wright has helped destroy a Dallas church worker’s marriage – and her job, The Post has learned.
Elizabeth Payne, 37, said she had a steamy sexual affair with the controversial, racially divisive man of the cloth while she was an executive assistant at a church headed by a popular Wright protégé.
When word of the unholy alliance got out, Payne’s husband dumped her, and she was canned from the plum job at Friendship-West Baptist Church, she told The Post.
“I was involved with Rev. Wright, and that’s why I lost my job and why my husband divorced me,” Payne said.
She refused to reveal when the adulterous affair started or how she met Wright.
Payne’s husband, Fred Payne, 64, said he learned of the affair in late February, when he discovered e-mails between his wife and Wright.
“There must have been about 80 of them, back and forth,” he said. “Wright said things like he was going to leave his wife for Elizabeth.”
Wright has been married to his second wife, Ramah, for more than 20 years.
The preacher reportedly wooed Ramah away from her first husband in the 1980s, when the couple came to marriage counseling at Wright’s Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. After discovering he had been cuckolded, Fred Payne, who had married Elizabeth in October 2006, headed straight for divorce court.
Something about all this just seems hella shady to me, but if you wanna revel in the nonsense, feel free to read the rest of the New York Post article. One note: I guess this dispels the myth of Wright being a racist. Payne, despite the broad nose and whatnot, is one hunned percent Caucasian. You can’t exactly talk black and sleep white in 08′, can you? That’s some 70’s idd’ish.
I guess Jeremiah’s chickens….. have come hooooommmmme. To rooooooooooooosst.
Oddly, I don’t really see the GOP using this as additional anti-Barry ammo, considering Cotton Hill’s well documented dalliances. That would just be wrong for lots of reasons.
Keep it in your pants, Rebb’n.
Question: What the hamsammich was Rebb’n Wright thinking?
OBAMA PASTOR IN SEX SCANDAL [NY Post]
Filed under: Go Sit Down, Grand Hu$tle, Judge Joe Brown Says : "DO BETTER.", Keep It In Your Pants, MLK is Crying Inside, Nigga Nonsense
Since I’m an equal opportunity offender, I couldn’t just pass along misinformation about the Palin family’s real life version of “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?”. Nope, I’m on a roll, so how about this Obama-related nugget of Negro Nonsense while I’m at it? Cause, you know, I’m just bipartisan like that.
He almost wrecked Barack Obama’s presidential dreams, and now firebrand pastor Jeremiah Wright has helped destroy a Dallas church worker’s marriage – and her job, The Post has learned.
Elizabeth Payne, 37, said she had a steamy sexual affair with the controversial, racially divisive man of the cloth while she was an executive assistant at a church headed by a popular Wright protégé.
When word of the unholy alliance got out, Payne’s husband dumped her, and she was canned from the plum job at Friendship-West Baptist Church, she told The Post.
“I was involved with Rev. Wright, and that’s why I lost my job and why my husband divorced me,” Payne said.
She refused to reveal when the adulterous affair started or how she met Wright.
Payne’s husband, Fred Payne, 64, said he learned of the affair in late February, when he discovered e-mails between his wife and Wright.
“There must have been about 80 of them, back and forth,” he said. “Wright said things like he was going to leave his wife for Elizabeth.”
Wright has been married to his second wife, Ramah, for more than 20 years.
The preacher reportedly wooed Ramah away from her first husband in the 1980s, when the couple came to marriage counseling at Wright’s Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago. After discovering he had been cuckolded, Fred Payne, who had married Elizabeth in October 2006, headed straight for divorce court.
Something about all this just seems hella shady to me, but if you wanna revel in the nonsense, feel free to read the rest of the New York Post article. One note: I guess this dispels the myth of Wright being a racist. Payne, despite the broad nose and whatnot, is one hunned percent Caucasian. You can’t exactly talk black and sleep white in 08′, can you? That’s some 70’s idd’ish.
I guess Jeremiah’s chickens….. have come hooooommmmme. To rooooooooooooosst.
Oddly, I don’t really see the GOP using this as additional anti-Barry ammo, considering Cotton Hill’s well documented dalliances. That would just be wrong for lots of reasons.
Keep it in your pants, Rebb’n.
Question: What the hamsammich was Rebb’n Wright thinking?
OBAMA PASTOR IN SEX SCANDAL [NY Post]
Filed under: Go Sit Down, People I Strongly Dislike, PoliTricks as Usual, TeeVee Sux, What A DoucheBag, White Men Gone Wild
You know em’, you hate em’. They’re the scourge of the cable news world. That’s right, party people, I’m talkin’ bout’ dem’ cable news show hosts.
The Big Three Cable news outlets fall into predictable roles. Fox News is clearly reading White House Talking Points. MSNBC has the double-douchbag lineup with bloviators Keith Olbermann, and Chris Matthews, two guys who probably go to bed every night dreaming about Obama, only to awake to sticky sheets. CNN wants to pull off the illusion of being on some mythical “middle ground”, but that’s just code for “hey, we’re lightweights, we just can’t do any better“.
Yet, since TeeVee doesn’t afford us the luxury of more channels for a broader array of opinions (especially those of minorities and Independents), we’re pretty much capped out at listening to the same blowhards pretend-fighting with each other every night. As if we’re not wise enough to know that these folks leave to studio and go to the same scrip clubs cocktail parties the moment the cameras go dim.
Cable news’ lousy and predictable format is a large part of why the country’s view of politricks is so messed up. They weild an undue amount of influence, considering the fact that they seldom actually break a news story, as opposed to regurgitating what’s in the newspapers. They all have agendas, namely to keep their jobs by saying what they’re paid to appear and say. They often spout completely correct information repeatedly, knowing that after the 100th time, even the savviest viewer begins to second guess what they already know. And at their worse, these folks are some of the most vile, disgusting individuals seen on the tube since Faces Of Death.[1]
Next week’s poll is all about choosing the King Of All D-Bag Cable News Show Personalities. Here’s my list of nominees. If you see some glaring omissions, add em’ you know where.
Pat Buchanan [MSNBC] – Let’s call a spade a spade. Pat, despite occasional bouts of honesty, is little more than a tool for ole timey Southern racist propaganda. Nobody will call him on this, because, well, he’s playing his role. And playing it well might I add.
Glenn Beck [Headline News] – Beck, owner of a collection of chins that would make Karl Rove proud, doesn’t get as much acclaim as his mentor Sean Hannity, but he’s just as reviling. His smarmy, holier than thou demeanor makes me wish he’d have an unfortunate falafel incident.
Bill O’Reilly [Fox News] – Speaking of falafel… seriously, how did Bill-O manage to dodge this bullet and still spout his hateful brand of sensationalist drivel another 4 years? I just don’t get it.
The Cast of Fox & Friends [Fox News… duh] – Would you like some Scrawberry HaterAde™ with your breakfast? You know where to look.
Lou Dobbs [CNN] – Did you know that like King Of The Hill star Bobby Hill, whom Lou looks like a grownup version of, Dobbs is the son of a real-life Texas propane salesman? Did you also know that despite his hatred of all things Mexican, Lou is actually married to a Latina? No seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up.
Campbell Brown [CNN] – More of a hostess than an actual pundit, but come on’. Exactly who does this serial lightweight have incriminating photos of? For someone who’s supposed to be an objective moderator, she lets guests run over her more than anyone this side of Jeff Johnson.
Laura Ingraham [Fox News] – If you don’t have nothin’ nice to say…
Juan Williams [Fox News] – …your mama n’em taught you the rest.
Chris Matthews [MSNBC] – Look, I’m prObama myself. Anyone who reads this site knows that. Still, it’s pretty dishonest, and borderline maniacal to act as if everything the man does is kissed with the lips of The Messiah. Matthews pretty much deep-sixes any semblance of credibility by turning his show into a nightly Obama pep rally. Sure, it’s fun to occasionally watch him rip a guest to shreds, but those instances are few and far between. More often than not, Hardball is little more than a Democratic Circle Jerk. Who the hell wants to watch that nonsense?
Sean Hannity [Fox News] – Boy, I could say so much, but bandwidth is so precious. Why not just watch this clip and get reacquainted with your lunch?
Keith Olbermann [MSNBC] – Of all the blowhards on cable, Olbermann is perhaps the worst. While I do indeed like his “tell it like it is” approach to stating his opinion, his over the top “smarter than though” smarminess eclipses even that of Hannity and Beck, which is no small feat. If dude wants to be seen as a serious journalist (ha ha), not some two bit ESPN refugee, he’ll figure out that being the smartest guy in the class isn’t always something you wanna throw in others faces.
Question: You got any more Cable News Personalities to add to next week’s poll?
[1] Please tell me ya’ll remember these VHS tapes from the 80’s.
Filed under: AvB MultiMedia Expose, Don't Drop The Soap, Drive-By Activism, Go Sit Down, Keep It In Your Pants, Knee-Grow Please, MLK is Crying Inside, Nigga Nonsense, What A DoucheBag
Well, it’s finally happened. Kwame Kilpatrick’s nine lives have expired.
Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who will lose his job because he lied while under oath at a police whistle-blower trial, has just pledged to tell the truth as he prepares to admit his guilt as part of a plea deal he just struck with the Wayne County Prosecutor.
The deal calls for Kilpatrick to plead guilty to two felony counts of obstruction of justice by committing perjury, agreeing to serve four months in jail, pay up to $1 million in restitution, and serve five years’ probation. He also agreed not to run for office during that five-year span.
The mayor will turn over his state pension to the City of Detroit, which paid $8.4 million to settle two whistle-blower lawsuits three former cops filed against the city. The mayor was charged with eight felony counts ranging from conspiracy to perjury to misconduct in office to obstruction of justice after the Free Press revealed that the mayor lied on the witness stand during a police whistle-blower trial and gave misleading testimony about whether he intended to fire a deputy police chief investigating allegations of wrongdoing by members of his inner circle.
I don’t really have much to add to this. Looking at the photos of a forlorn Kwame sitting in the courtroom made me momentarily sad for the guy.
Momentarily.
Here’s a collection of Kwame’s Greatest Hits.
Kwame Pulls a Clay Davis.
This should serve as a case study for anyone who starts out with great ambition and the intention to serve others. Don’t let to go to your head. The big head or that other one.
Keep your head (and pants) up, Kwame. Do your time, don’t let your time do you.
Question: Do you feel sorry for Kwame? Will “Yaw’s Boy” have a political career once his 5 years are up? Who plays Kwame in the upcoming BET Blackbuster Movie? I say Cedric The Entertainer could pull it off.
Mayor Kilpatrick: ‘I lied under oath’ [Detroit Free Press]
Filed under: AvB MultiMedia Expose, Don't Drop The Soap, Drive-By Activism, Go Sit Down, Keep It In Your Pants, Knee-Grow Please, MLK is Crying Inside, Nigga Nonsense, What A DoucheBag
Well, it’s finally happened. Kwame Kilpatrick’s nine lives have expired.
Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who will lose his job because he lied while under oath at a police whistle-blower trial, has just pledged to tell the truth as he prepares to admit his guilt as part of a plea deal he just struck with the Wayne County Prosecutor.
The deal calls for Kilpatrick to plead guilty to two felony counts of obstruction of justice by committing perjury, agreeing to serve four months in jail, pay up to $1 million in restitution, and serve five years’ probation. He also agreed not to run for office during that five-year span.
The mayor will turn over his state pension to the City of Detroit, which paid $8.4 million to settle two whistle-blower lawsuits three former cops filed against the city. The mayor was charged with eight felony counts ranging from conspiracy to perjury to misconduct in office to obstruction of justice after the Free Press revealed that the mayor lied on the witness stand during a police whistle-blower trial and gave misleading testimony about whether he intended to fire a deputy police chief investigating allegations of wrongdoing by members of his inner circle.
I don’t really have much to add to this. Looking at the photos of a forlorn Kwame sitting in the courtroom made me momentarily sad for the guy.
Momentarily.
Here’s a collection of Kwame’s Greatest Hits.
Kwame Pulls a Clay Davis.
This should serve as a case study for anyone who starts out with great ambition and the intention to serve others. Don’t let to go to your head. The big head or that other one.
Keep your head (and pants) up, Kwame. Do your time, don’t let your time do you.
Question: Do you feel sorry for Kwame? Will “Yaw’s Boy” have a political career once his 5 years are up? Who plays Kwame in the upcoming BET Blackbuster Movie? I say Cedric The Entertainer could pull it off.
Mayor Kilpatrick: ‘I lied under oath’ [Detroit Free Press]
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