As a child I lived in Broadstairs, Kent from the age of 10 to 19. I joined a local Sea Scouts group and was able to try coastal rowing, limited amounts of sailing and some kayaking. I enjoyed the rowing and kayaking the most.
2016 we moved to Purbeck and at last I lived back near the coast, but now in Dorset. In our time here I enjoyed Cornish Pilot Gig rowing for three years. I enjoyed the fitness aspect of the rowing the most with training year round. However, I frequently got distracted while out on the water looking at the landscape and coast either as a geographer or as an artist. The commitment to be a competitive member of the club was too much for me as I started to develop my art and sales plus my part time job for the summer from 2017 to 2019 with Wareham boat hire had a weekend commitment on one day each weekend so attending regattas was often not possible.
Through my work with WBH I started to kayak more and had bought myself a single sit on top in addition to our family double SOT. I paddled at work and also in my free time. In 2019 I took part in a kayaking course to refresh and build on my skills. I ended up paddling on the river, in Poole Harbour and in Studland Bay. The aim being to build up to a paddle out to Old Harry Rocks. An opportunity also arose to paddle from Keyhaven, Hampshire across The Solent to Alum Bay on the Isle of Wight and back. a later trip from Kimmeridge to Mupe Bay confirmed that kayaking was more of a focus.
Then in 2020 ahead of moving into Swanage Anne and I joined the sailing club as adult beginners. Now we had a place to keep the kayaks close to the water and a new water activity to try together.
Covid meant that in 2020 we started sailing by zoom and then moved into the water as unable to share boats with instructors.I took to this, Anne didn’t as water is not a place that she feels comfortable. I am clumsy in a dinghy, my size and lack of flexibility doesn’t help but I could get out into the bay and sail about with frequent capsizes which I soon grew confident recovering from. In 2021 Anne and I went out when racing was on in an Argo. We were never competitive and we were there to practice our sailing. My frustration with myself when things don’t go right causes me to often shout at myself and swear quite frequently too. This was never going to be good Anne and in addition to her getting seasick, not being confident on the water and my stress levels we stopped sailing together. She lost her confidence too. I went out amongst the racers single handed in an RS Feva – bung gate led to an early sinking but I learnt by trying again and again and tried some conditions that were probably way beyond me.
Anne suffered a leg injury that was exacerbated by launching and recovering the boat so this year she has taken a step back. I lost a lot of confidence. I signed up for early safety crew duties on training nights and then had Purbeck Art Weeks and then a chest infection and subsequent cough which stopped all exercise on the water.
I have now sailed four times single handed this year. Once in the new Fusion dinghies where poor attention led to three capsizes in one evening session. The last three sails on Tuesday and Thursday of this week have been in an RS Feva like last year, a dinghy I had started to feel some confidence in. On Tuesday during training I had two sails up, tonight in windier conditions just the mainsail.
Like when I rowed I get distracted. I need to rebuild my confidence on the water and tonight at several points I considered retiring from the race or even before it and returning to shore but I persisted. I completed 2 laps, I wasn’t disqualified for crossing the start line with en sailing downwind.I did capsize and recover.
I lost my way, my thread, I shouted at myself, I swore occasionally. The many technical aspects and aspects to be aware of it really challenge me. I realise that as a technical skill based sport I am never going to be a competitive racer but I do want to feel more confident in my time on the water. I challenge myself far more attempting to sail than the kayaking demands of me, or at least the kayaking that I try.
Technical skill based sports traditionally have been ones I avoid or just play around at. This time I am going to stick at it as I want to be able to go out in the bay for years to come and sail with more confidence.it is a great way to enjoy Swanage Bay. Despite the mess at time this evening I took part in a race, I started properly, I followed the course, I completed two laps, I didn’t need rescue support from a safety boat. I launched the boat myself, I had some support in pulling the boat up at the end but that was very welcome and I have offered similar support to others on many occasions. I can become very self critical when surrounded with many much more competent sports people as I was this evening – I find sailing hard but I am going to work at it.
Mishmashlearning goes blogging 
