Manager: “So… I’m reviewing the latest batch of bad reviews. The usual BS they think we need to give a s*** about, but then I came across this one.”

My manager slides his tablet over to me, and I read the one-star review:

Customer Complaint: “Your bathroom is in your stockroom and difficult for a customer to access!”

Me: “So… a customer came through our stockroom to use the employee bathroom?”

Manager: “Funnily enough, the day of the complaint is the same day as the great blockage incident of last month. Here I was worried that one of our people had some serious bowel issues, but it turns out it was likely this guy.”

Me: “Are you going to respond to him?”

Manager: “I’ll remind him where the actual customer bathrooms are… and maybe recommend he go see a doctor.”

Like a lot of people, I collected unemployment during the COVID19 shutdowns. During the time I was getting payments, I carefully followed all the instructions and rules to a T. I was very aware that I was lucky to be able to have this opportunity and wanted to do it right.

So, I was surprised when, five years after I’d been re-hired to my old job (school bus drivers can’t work remotely very easily), I got a letter from my state’s unemployment department that I had been overpaid, and owed money. I continued reading the letter and saw my total owed.

$0.00

I checked my online account, and it had the same information. I needed to repay my zero dollars of overpayment as soon as possible, call to set up a payment plan, or dispute the charges. I called the number, and a very helpful woman told me that it was an error. I owed no money, and I could ignore the letter.

The next month, I got another one.

And another one the next month.

And again.

After the sixth letter, I called again. I was concerned that the department was trying to collect an actual amount and wanted to pay it if I really did owe something. Another helpful worker confirmed that I owed nothing, and the letters should stop soon.

I got three more.

Finally, on the tenth letter, I wrote a check for zero dollars and zero cents and mailed it in the provided envelope.

The next month, I got another letter from the department–this time thanking me for bringing the matter to their attention and assuring me that I owed nothing and would stop receiving letters. I’m happy to say that now, three months later, I haven’t gotten anything from them!

I’ve been at an apartment complex all morning performing a telecom system upgrade. I checked in with the lady at the office, explained that my work was limited to a single utility room in the basement, and was given a single fob.

Everything goes smoothly, so I pack up, load up my van, and go to the office to return the fob.

Office Lady: “What about the other key?”

Me: “That fob was the only thing I was given.”

Office Lady: “No, I gave you a key with the fob.”

Me: “Ma’am, the only thing I was given was the—”

Office Lady: *Now angry.* “—Don’t argue with me. I’ve been doing this for fifteen years; I know what the f*** I do with my keys.”

Me: “I’m not trying to argue, ma’am, but the only thing you gave me was the fob—”

Office Lady: “—I don’t know what you’re remembering, but I gave you that key.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I didn’t need any keys beyond the set I just gave back.”

Office Lady: “WELL, this is going to be a BIG complaint to [telecom company] then. I don’t WANT to get you banned from the building, but I have NO CHOICE since you lost the key to [unit] I gave you.”

Me: *Starting to walk away.* “I had no reason to be in that or any other unit, ma’am. My work was entirely within the utility room downstairs, as I explained when I came in.”

Office Lady: *As I’m halfway out the door.* “Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh! I’m sorry. I remember now! There’s another contractor that looks just like you! Seriously, I should take you to see him. He has the same hair and everything!”

Me: *Still leaving.* “Thanks for apologizing, but I don’t appreciate the way you were talking to me.”

Office Lady: “Well, I’m still going to report you then. Have a nice day!”

I used to work for a large toy superstore, and they decided to have a special sale on the Wii video game system.

I’ll never forget walking into work and seeing the sale sign, just a few weeks before Black Friday, that said:

Sign: “GET THE Wii FOR $99.99!”

I immediately wanted to call in sick because I knew my day was about to be destroyed, but a manager had already seen me, so it was no use.

You see, with that sale, you could indeed get the Wii (which retailed at $249.99 at the time) for $99.99, but like all deals… You had to read the fine print. 

To get the Wii for $99.99, you had to purchase $150 of other items to make that deal happen. These other items were:

• A 20-pack of our store-branded AA batteries.
• A lame looking Olympics game with popular characters from two different franchises.
• A specific gaming ottoman for the Wii.
• Four items of your choice made by Gear Ape for the Wii system.

It would ring up as $99 for the Wii and $150 for the other items, meaning you ended up spending the regular cost of the Wii of $249.99.

Did many people actually read all those details? F*** no.

I barely made it to the electronics section where I worked before I heard my phone ringing, which, as expected, was someone asking: 

Caller: “Are you guys really selling the Wii for $99?!?!”

These were the easier part of my day because I got to let the customer down gently, and because they’d already questioned the legitimacy of the sale. You see, our store had sent emails out about the deal with the subject line “GET THE Wii FOR $99.99” with the details INSIDE the email.

Then came the trouble customers. Person after person who’d thrown on their shoes and rushed to the store to get their hands on a $99 Wii, only to b**** at me when I told them there was more to the sale and they needed to read the ENTIRE email. I’ll never forget one particular woman, though.

Customer: *Walks right up to me and ignores my greeting.* “I want the Wii for $99.99!”

Me: *Internal groan.* “There’s more detail to the sale than that, you also have to purchase these other items to—”

Customer: “—I don’t care about any of that and don’t want it, I just want the Wii for $99.99!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. The entire detail of the sale was in the email and all the advertising.”

Customer: “I just told you I don’t care about all that. The email said the Wii was $99.99, and you need to sell it to me like that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s not how the sale works.”

Customer: “Then that’s false advertising. You are falsely advertising.”

Me: “It’s not false advertising. All the detail is there in black and white.”

Customer: “Not it’s not! It’s false advertising, and I want to see a manager!”

This, of course, was not the last time I had to call a manager over that day to deal with someone who started whining about false advertising. My manager did set her straight, though, and of course, she didn’t get a $99 Wii.

That sale was only three days long, but it was absolutely miserable. I got called names by rude customers, got b****ed at, and told myself I’d quit on the spot if they ever did another advertisement like that again. Yes, there was an occasional parent who thought it was a good deal, but mostly it was just people who didn’t know how to read. 

Also, for those of you about to come in and say, “Well, I’d just buy the bundle and return all the other stuff, then keep my $99 Wii”, you can’t do that. Anything sold as a bundle/deal in my Toybox store also had to be *returned* as a bundle to keep people from doing just that.

I was standing in line at a sandwich chain store on our college campus. The girl making the sandwiches (a fellow college student) was slow as heck because she was busy talking to everyone.

Sandwich Artist: “So, when you work here, you’re not just a worker. They call you a sandwich artist.”

Slowly, to another customer:

Sandwich Artist: “Yeah, you have so many ingredients to memorize based on customers’ dietary requirements…”

Slowly, to another customer:

Sandwich Artist: “And with all that knowledge we have to remember, we also have to demonstrate how we can make a sandwich for someone in thirty seconds.”

From the back of the line, someone yells:

Customer: “Well then f****** do it!”

The girl goes red, but she did pick up the pace and – credit to her – did get some of those sandwiches made in thirty seconds!