
potatoes seeding in the pickle jar smell like
fireflies, haylofts and c’mon home
farm suppers from sandy loam
her apron his boots their biome
5/18

On the day of the night of the Strawberry Moon, we hiked up a holler to a thin ridge in the foothills of Appalachia. A thick canopy of tall oaks sewn with threads of sunlight diffused everything in the clearing to the palette of gravestones.
This pioneer cemetery held less than a hundred graves, most of them lost under the forest floor. One of the girls buried here was named “America,” and one of the stones was carved in German for Johannes, the man without a wife.

We tried to imagine the lives of the dead. These were the men who worked for scrip at Vesuvius, a great beast of an old Furnace where pig iron was wrought into the weapons of the Civil War. These were the women who died in childbirth or just wore out before they were 40. These were their children not strong enough for winter.

They are the ancestors of this little girl whose other ancestors are Korean.
Imagine all that crowded into her bloodstream.

Later that evening back at the house, we removed 22 ticks between the four of us including a white-spotted tick that could leave Grandma allergic to the protein in red meat from now on.
Lots of locals came by to sit on Grandma’s porch and talk story as the sky filled up with mosquitoes and bats and stars. A truck would drive by and everyone would wave. Wild, raucous tales were told with a certain admiration for hot tempers, hard liquor, guns, and muscles.
All these hilljacks seem related by blood or marriage. They’ve been rooted deeply in this place for generations. I don’t belong, but they make room for me. Neither does the little Amerasian girl seem to fit this scene, nor her dad, even though he grew up here a lifetime ago. His eyes are Santa Monica bluegreen and his fingers bent from a Spanish guitar, but moonshine was washing out all kinds of borders. His Aunt Ruby observed loudly, well, he picked hisself a blonde this time.
No, I thought to myself . . . maybe the Moon chose this.

© Liana 6/17

Here are the cookies I made for my cousin’s wedding this weekend. They’re from an old family recipe and their uniformity is essential. I offer them as visual aid for this post on simultaneity.

Today I wrote “simultaneity” to explain something and realized I’d never actually used that word before. Turns out it is a real word, adding credence to my theory that in a past life I was one of those monks who strived to codify the English language. I think I was the monk who argued for “strived” not “strove” so I was clearly not a Sumerian scholar, just a low-tier scribe with an attitude.
It would take a few centuries before the right monk would come along with a campaign for the written words everybody could support. It would take my fourth-great Grandmother surviving the Civil War to ensure that there would be Ross Sugar Cookies at the wedding.

Here is my cousin waiting for his cue to join his beautiful daughter and walk her up the aisle.

And here he is later saying sweet, funny, heartwarming things in his toast. I utterly lack the words to describe how special and sacred he is to me, to all of us, really. I’m so lucky our lives have had such essential, gracious simultaneity.
On this day last year, I was standing on the corner of Kirk Street and the alley walk to Cromarty Firth when I felt again the undefinable but undeniable presence of mystical things working in my life. I felt like I could walk right through closed doors.
It is the cuirm-bhliadhnail . . . the anniversary of knowing that I have done exactly that.
The native woman, a Shah-mah’ tsah’nih—the grandmother, who made some of these blankets walked away from the market more tired than dirt. A hot wind blew across the gravel parking lot to the mesa and the mountains beyond, her gray hair reaching wildly after it.
She was bent sideways but shuffled forward. She looked off-kilter by design . . . like a samara . . . a thing not designed to have an upright position. I sensed sixty years of klagetoh bearing down on her left shoulder, and six thousand more years of it in her DNA.
How many women ago did our ancestral mothers sit together in an ice cave or a tent made of animal hides . . . Mary, Maria, Mariposa, Miriam, Margit, Марыя, Мэри, 메리, মেরি . . . a quill needle and red thread resting between thumb and fore-fingerprint of the same sedulous language?
September 2014 © Liana, excerpted from Shall We Break (Fry) Bread Together on Our Knees

Up in Estes Park, they’re preparing for the Highland Games.
Clan Ross will march without me again this year. Heavy sigh.

For the record, they almost marched without me the first year when I showed up in the wrong plaid, but I made up for it ever after by decking out properly…even my kids and our Scotty dog, Fiona.

Now I hookah up to the bagpipes wherever I can find them…breathe in their infusion of misty moors…my ancestors rising up in goosebumps spreading through my veins.

It is a Finnish word that cannot be translated directly into English, but we understand the concept of Sisu. It means having the courage to do what must be done. There’s nothing exclusively Finnish about that assignation, still I respect that they have a word for it…that this concept can even be reduced to a single word.
A lot of Fins, Franks, and Scots settled in Northern Michigan, up at the Sault (pronounced Soo) and points west across the Upper Peninsula (UP). Plenty of them settled in the Lower Peninsula, below the Mackinac Bridge, where they mined and logged and bore sturdy children who had to grow up too fast.
Folks in the UP refer to anybody living below the bridge as a “troll”. I am not Finnish, I’m Scottish-American; but I am a troll, born and bred, and I know Sisu.
Michigan is shaped like a mitten, easily recognizable on the map of the United States. We natives just hold up our right hand to locate and navigate ourselves (and to annoy the non-natives). My great-grandfathers and uncles of that hardy era built the sand road around the tip of the Thumb of Michigan; they cleared a lot of the land up that way when they homesteaded. Clan Ross came from Cromarty on the Black Isle, and the McGeachys came from the Kintyre Peninsula of Scotland by way of Ontario, Canada.
For the record, McGeachy is pronounced McGathy …it’s a Gaelic thing. In my ancestry are names so Gaelic and vowel-less that I sometimes use them in an internet password because they already look encrypted. At any rate, the family made it to Michigan before the Civil War, which was a long time ago, relatively speaking. As such, I can’t explain how—several generations later—my Grandpa Ross seemed to have a little bit of a Scottish brogue. He would say “wee” instead of “little” when describing a small thing. He must have picked it up from his parents and grandparents, although he was born on August 13, 1900, right there in a cabin that has been twice replaced by larger frame houses on the homestead. It’s almost his birthday…he lived to be 99.

So my family has been in America a long, long time, some of them were here during Colonial times. One of my great-great-great grandfathers marched with William Tecumseh Sherman from Atlanta to the sea. He was wounded and limped badly ever after, walking with the help of an elaborately decorated cane, I’ve been told. I wonder what happened to that cane. I don’t have it, but I still have the story because I am the Seanachie of this generation. The Seanachie is the person who keeps the family stories. I was set aside for this duty as a child by my Grandfather Gillespie (the name derives from gillie, the Scottish word for servant, and Spey, for the River Spey). When everybody was out playing lawn darts during family gatherings, I was seated in my grandpa’s study for the newest installment of family history. I was miserable about this back then, but am grateful to have this genealogy today. And I am constantly shocked by people who don’t even know their own mother’s maiden name…geez, I can tell you the maiden name of my fifth great grandmother (on both sides of my family); and I know how her name became Anglicized to “Mustarde” if you want to hear that story. 
Right now it’s summertime and very hard to imagine Michigan’s sugar-beeted, white pined, soft-sanded landscape as the frozen white cerement it becomes shortly after Thanksgiving. But that feels so far away in this campfire and sweatshirt, star-smothered nightscape. Honestly, I love this watery place frozen or flowing in all seasons, although I’ll admit that early spring is endurable only for the promise of lilacs. I’ve escaped the miserably hot, drought-gouged season of the lower Midwest as much as possible up here…something is gestating in me and the Great Lakes are amniotic. I float weightless of worry in them.
There is something so reassuring about the land here, and the water…the plentitude of flora and fauna. It’s good to feel life going on about its business, taking happiness and sadness in stride. There has been amplitude of both, but the sad stories still get told. The baby brother who went missing one bleak, frigid day of winter over 125 years ago—this is where that happened, on this land.
I try to imagine my great grandmother, Catherine, who was just a girl then, her frantic siblings, all 11 of them searching—one no doubt had been in charge of this toddler; their anxious father and desperate mother, my great, great grandmother. Her name was Ladesna Ann Ross, nee Schell. She was actually German, not Scottish, and her father was killed by Indians at Schell’s Bush which later became Herkimer, New York. That was before the American Revolution. Some stories do not have a happy ending…this is how we learn Sisu.

Today, the land that was my ancestors is still in the Ross family; at least some of it is, although my Rosses have a lot of other names now. But we’re all drawn to the old homestead under a sailcloth horizon that stretches over rows and rows of navy beans edged with rock piles and copses marking the end of one farm, and the beginning of another. These fields are older than most of the trees now. They square off in neat 40 acre parcels, quilting the spans, and then diffusing into the forest that grows right out to the Huron waterline if you let it. Of course, we never owned that land because “you can’t farm a beach.”

The seagulls coast the cotton-clouded skies from Port Austin to the Saginaw Bay, as they always have. Their ancestors no doubt saw the whole thing. Somewhere in one of these ditches along Eztler Road, wee Donald McGeachy’s body was found by Albert Hokkanen, the neighbor boy whose parents still spoke Finnish. A lot of them did in those days. An anguish that could not be born was added to the family lore. It was a very long time ago, so I can’t explain how—several generations later—I still feel it, I feel too much…I was set aside for this role, too.
Somehow life went on, glacial…time pried the grief slowly from another day, a month, and then a year. But a wee quiet thing with no voice at all, like a grape or a broken pepper grinder or the wind whispered loss…he was lost…unbearable loss, and life would break again. It broke and it mended because it had to…there was no choice. Life must be tended. You hold the sad stories in your heart like shards of glass… like crystals. You hold up your right hand, find yourself bleeding but alive…now navigate. This is Sisu.