Food is a strange thing. Think about it. We eat to live, and some of us live to eat. Joy and laughter are shared across a table full of food. Deep conversations, lasting memories. We associate pivotal moments in our life with tastes, smells and textures of food.
Some eat cheap fast-food, while others spend a weeks salary on one meal. Some of us prefer a home cooked meal. Grocery stores, farmers markets, food courts, downtown hole in the wall restaurants, mass chain restaurants.
I LOVE FOOD. I love it. I love a delicious meal at home or out on the town. I love every flavor, every texture, every ingredient. I have always had a certain love affair with baked goods. You know, those sweet cakes, doughnuts, cookies.. Fresh out of the oven, soft and fluffy, or slightly under baked cookies. I love the savory flavors of homemade garlic bread, and sun dried tomatoes tossed with an olive oil sauce drizzled over farfalle pasta.
I would say I am a fairly healthy eater. I watch my portions, make fresh fruit smoothies every morning for breakfast with strictly fruit, oj & wheat germ. I eat a healthy lunch usually a sandwich and yogurt with some fresh veggies, or a salad, fresh fruit and a granola bar. Dinner, we will sometimes have meat. Sometimes we won’t. Dessert every once in a while. I strive to eat whole grains, whole foods, fresh foods. I like hearty bread. The kind with the chunks of grain in it. No mushy white bread for me!
Now imagine your world turned upside down. Suddenly, you cannot eat 70% of your normal “healthy” diet.
A little over a month ago, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Most people don’t know what this is, or say something like, “Oh, I know someone that has that.” or, “I hear there are tons of ‘gluten free’ foods on the market now.” The truth is, about 1 in every 155 people in America actually have Celiac Disease or a gluten intolerance. But most don’t know it. Only about 3% of the millions of Americans suffering with it are diagnosed. Now this doesn’t mean I have to take loads of medications to enjoy my food, and feel healthy. It simply means living free of gluten. But let me tell you, it is easier said, than done!
I remember the first trip to the grocery store, after the diagnosis. It took almost 2 hours at Fred Meyers, $70 and just 3 or 4 bags of groceries. It feels like that trip was ions ago. We purchased fruit and vegetables as we usually do, that wasn’t where the challenge lied. I thought for sure I would be able to eat cereal. I read every single label of every box in that isle, and finally decided Rice Krispies would do. I went home, ate a bowl or two over a couple of days and decided I wasn’t feeling better. RICE Krispies have MALT flavoring in it. Malt comes from Barley. And barley = gluten. Who would have thought.
We went through the bakery section, much to Travis’ dismay. He knew there would be nothing, but I was hoping. Wishing for something. We noticed the fresh doughnuts were 3 for $1.. Travis immediately started to pick his out. I don’t know why, but it hit me so hard. I started to cry in the middle of the grocery store. Over doughnuts. I will never have a fresh baked doughnut from the grocery store, or a doughnut shop, ever again.
Shortly after, we found they had frozen doughnuts that were gluten free. $6.75 for 6 TINY vanilla glazed doughnuts. 230 calories each. They fit in the palm of my [small] hand. I now have a doughnut once a week. I have one left. They’re good, but it’s nothing like a freshly baked doughnut out of the box at an early morning sales meeting.
Another thing we eat often when we don’t have time to cook, with our photo shoots, and colonies shows/ rehearsals etc.. We make quesadillas. Delicious flour tortillas with medium sharp cheddar. Perfectly melted, with a slightly crispy shell. Now, I know this is something else that isn’t super healthy, but it’s not necessarily unhealthy. I was pleasantly surprised when we noticed the gluten free tortillas in the health frozen section right by the doughnuts. They don’t look like my pretty white flour tortillas. They’re dark in color, smaller, and slightly thicker with a rubbery texture. They have a funny taste, but it’s not bad. I guess I just need to get used to it.
This past month, I have had to get used to a lot of things. Rice pasta noodles that taste like crap, vs. corn vegetable noodles that are quite delicious. But I can’t have a bite of Travis’ pasta. 1. because he usually has just regular pasta noodles 2. he may or may not have taken his bread and dipped it in his pasta sauce. CROSS CONTAMINATION. Which is a whole other topic. I don’t know how severe my condition is, so I have yet to replace my toaster, cutting boards, bread maker, etc… But most people do that. And don’t feel better until they do. I feel so exhausted by all of this, I am taking one step at a time. I just simply do not use those appliances. But what is going to happen when I do? I guess we will see.
The first sunday dinner with Travis’ family- I thought I would be free and clear of gluten. You see, they made tacos/ burritos. I made a taco salad. I Noticed all the salad dressings had caramel coloring [=gluten] so I went for the blue cheese. It seemed to me, perfectly fine. Little did I know… I almost immediately felt horrible, and didn’t know why. I looked down at my plate, I had lettuce, salsa, ground beef, tomatoes, & a few other fresh ingredients. A few days later, whilst researching the cans & can’ts of my new diet, I found out that blue cheese is actually grown on RYE BREAD. They grow the mold on RYE BREAD. You have GOT to be kidding me. Cheese that once resided on bread, that has now been made into a salad dressing is what made me sick for two days. Blue cheese = rye = gluten.
Initially, I thought the diagnosis would be a good thing. I still do. It’s an answer to all the pain I have been feeling for YEARS. I don’t recall NOT feeling pain after a meal. Like, immediately after eating. Terrible, unbearable pain. Unless of course my meal had absolutely no gluten in it. But how would I have known that is what made me feel that way? I didn’t. This past month has shown me, that I can do it, but I must be persistent. I must be direct with people who serve me in restaurants, I must be mindful. If I want to feel healthy, I must take care of myself. It’s not just about eating “gluten free” products, but learning to do without those foods. Learning to cook and bake without those ingredients. Re-teaching myself and training my eye to know, immediately. [although it doesn’t take long for my body to tell me.]
You see, food that seems to be gluten free, according to their nutrition facts may not be. Corn tortillas from the grocery store are usually dusted with flour before they’re bagged so they don’t stick together. Most chocolate is dusted in flour as well for the same reason. But it doesn’t say that on the label.
Gluten is a binding ingredient. It helps keep ingredients together and make them seem delicious.
I know I am totally rambling, but this has completely taken over my life for the past 5 weeks.
It has been a hard trial I am striving to overcome, but I feel so blessed to know how to fix it. How to feel healthy. And I have. There are days where I feel like I can run a marathon [after eating a huge meal- gluten free, of course]. And there are days where I feel like lying in bed in the fetal position until I die. Those are the days I have to analyze, and become a detective… Figuring out what I ate, or what my food touched that could have made me sick. And unfortunately, I will sometimes feel sick for days from one or two bites of gluten filled food. [unknowingly of course.]
So this is my life. This is what I am learning to become. A new girl. Completely gluten free, with the help of my husband, family and friends. Thank you for your insight, your recipes, your gluten free goodies and most of all your love.
All of these foods I cannot eat mean nothing, compared to good health. I will have good health. And I will eat food I love. Delicious, succulent food. Completely gluten free.
The life of Travis & Jaqui 
