Are you talking about the same thing?

A man once complained to his wife that the paper was rather thin that morning. “I disagree,” she said, “it has lots and lots of pages.”  “No, no,” he replied, “I meant there wasn’t much news in it.”

This exchange from the days of real paper newspapers illustrates something we all have experienced: two people talking past one another. In any debate, whether a formal debate, a discussion at work, or an informal exchange of views between friends or in an online forum, it is absolutely crucial that all parties are clear on what exactly you mean by the words that you are using.

When you say “we should lock up all criminals” do you mean including traffic offenses? When you say “multiculturalism is a great thing” (or a bad thing), what exactly do you mean by “multiculturalism”?

Very often in a discussion or debate, the two sides will simply be talking about different things, getting further and further away from a meaningful exchange of views.

When both sides of a debate clearly and calmly explain their terms, a meaningful exchange can be had, and even if you still disagree, at least you will know exactly what you disagree about.

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