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I just started my PhD programme in a very wet, cold place. I come from a tropical South Asian country, and this is my first time living in such extreme conditions.

I arrived at my university with a PhD offer, but I am not due to start working until March 2026. These circumstances have created two problems: I have nothing meaningful to do, and I can feel depression and mental health issues settling in. I have been here for the past three months, and I have only seen the sun for about fifteen days. I am constantly feeling depressed, crying (or bawling my eyes out), and eating my feelings.

I am also a practising Muslim, so I am struggling to settle in because there is no Muslim community here. The local community isn't friendly towards international students either, and other international students tend to keep to themselves.

I am considering applying elsewhere for a PhD, but I am unsure if it is the right decision. I worry that if I stay here, I will not produce any worthwhile work. I am also certain that if I take a leave, I will never return. Is it a good idea to switch PhDs, and if so, what should I say when this question arises in interview boards and SOPs? If not, then why not?

My thesis topic is not exactly the same as what I studied during my master's, but it is similar (I studied solar cells, and this is magnetism, related through deposition methods and thin film technology).

Edit: It's North Eastern Japan, right next to the Sea of Japan. (Changed illness to health in the title)

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    Note that on the northern hemisphere, the past three months are amongst the darkest and rainiest, and critically getting darker every day. If you can, try and form your opinion about the place in the other seasons as well. Commented 22 hours ago
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    @MisterMiyagi Darkest and coldest, yes, but for many northern hemisphere places this is the dry season so it depends where exactly OP is. Commented 18 hours ago
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    What sort of research did you do on this school and its location before applying to, and accepting an offer from, it? I guess it sounds to me like a poor fit, one which might have been prevented, but maybe there’s more to the story? In the meantime, address all mental illness issues. A PhD program ain’t the best place to work through them. Commented 15 hours ago
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    Were you admitted to work with a specific adviser? (That seems to be standard in much of the world but not in the U.S.) If you have an adviser, have you talked with him/her? Although your actual Ph.D. work begins in March, there might be some preparatory studying that you could do now (and it miight distract you from the weather and other issues). Commented 12 hours ago
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    Anecdotally, an Indian colleague of mine struggled quite a bit during his first winter in some Scandinavian country, even without the lack of purpose and social contacts. By now he is living quite happily not that much farther South. So it is possible for it to get better. If you decide to stay: go outside every day, no matter the weather. You might want to try some sports if you aren't doing that already (in addition to the direct benefits that can also be a good way to meet people). And keep in mind that what you perceive as unfriendly could also be due to different cultural norms. Commented 5 hours ago

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Firsty, I would recommend to edit the title of this question. This does not sound like "mental illness" at all, but rather as one of many possible natural reactions to the circumstances that you find yourself in. Some people these days like to treat any instance of feeling depressed as "mental illness", but of course there is a huge difference between "I feel miserable because I am alone without a purpose in an unpleasant place" and having a clinical depression. The solution for the former is to address some of the external causes (being alone, not having anything to do, being in a cold and dark place), the solution to clinical depression is not, in and of itself, so it is unhelpful to conflate the two.

Secondly, it sound like the root of the problem is that you arrived 6 months ahead of time and are spending the worst time of the year there for no discernible reason whatsoever. If you are miserable with nothing to do there until March (!!), just go home at least until March. It's really that simple. You say "I am also certain that if I take a leave, I will never return", but in reality you do have agency and you can decide to return if you want. The idea that "if I leave, I will never return, so I need to stay here alone through the worst, coldest, and darkest part of the year even though no-one actually needs me to be here" makes no sense to me.

Thirdly, you should not do your Ph.D. in a place where you expect to be miserable. That said, I do wonder how much of the misery relates exclusively to the weather and lack of a Muslim community and how much of it has to do with the fact that you have not started your Ph.D. studies yet and are just waiting there with nothing to do. I cannot tell you what to do, but you should factor into your decision making that you will probably make some friends with your Ph.D. peers and colleagues once you actually start the programme (if it is a big enough Ph.D. programme and not just you and your advisor). You should also take into account whether you have other alternatives that you can pursue in the future where you would feel less miserable.

Finally, "what should I say when this question arises in interview boards and SOPs?" If they ask, just tell them, in less dramatic words than "bawling my eyes out" and "eating my feelings", the reason why you chose to not start that programme. ("As someone from a tropical South Asian country, I realized once I arrived that I did not take well at all to the cold and dark climate.") Presuming, of course, that those reasons do not apply to the new place where you are interviewing. Given that you have not even started your Ph.D. yet, it's not like they will even be able to see from your CV that you were accepted to this programme. Also, for the SOP this whole episode is entirely irrelevant. The purpose of an SOP is not to give explanations for why you did not choose to pursue some previous Ph.D. option.

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    I think the general sentiment of this answer is OK but the opening paragraph is a problem. You say the OP might have a misunderstanding of mental illness and go on to correct them. Are you a mental health expert? Are you in a position to define what major depressive disorder is and what isn't, and what is an appropriate solution? Commented 5 hours ago
  • Hi, thanks for the correction. I think calling it a mental illness was a bit of an overstatement. I am on a monthly scholarship, so if I leave, I won't be able to receive it. My bills will pile up, and the penalty for late payment is quite severe financially. The PhD community under my supervisor consists of just one other person graduating in a year, and me. His other master's students tend to keep to themselves. I am trying to apply elsewhere again, this time in a sunny, warmer country. Commented 3 hours ago
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I am not counselling you toward or against the idea of moving (short term or long term.) Some other answers address this question.

But if you stay (or perhaps if you need help making that decision) you should absolutely consult a mental health professional.

Also, I am not in any way, shape, or form a mental health professional, but Seasonal Affective Disorder is something real, and easily treatable. Anecdotally, I know one person (of northern European descent, no less) who suffers from it, but gets great relief from using one of the recommended lamps.

My point is absolutely not to try to diagnose you long distance, only to give you something to think about, or talk to a health professional about, that you might not have thought of yourself.

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I would say you should move. It doesn't sound like you will be able to do productive work in this place.

You don't say where you are, but clearly it's some place in the north. It's going to be cold and dark for a while, and, while those conditions are temporary, they repeat.

And it sounds like the community is very unwelcoming. Having peers to support you is an important thing in getting a PhD. It also sounds like you are at least somewhat devout and you will probably want to live somewhere where there is a Muslim community.

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