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From today's featured article
Bonjour, tout le monde et Uncyclopedié. Moi, je suis Monsieur Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric Macron – le, ow yoo zay – King of Europe. I am officially King of Europe since 2017; unofficially I have been here forever.
I am neither French nor European; I am a human being. Being human is what makes us human.
One simply does not call me Manu. C'est là mon trigger. The last person who called me Manu is now Prime Minister of la Belgique. Coincidence? Je ne crois pas!
I run a small country known as France on a day-to-day basis, and it can be very tiring, so I have enlisted the help of 52 Prime Ministers to run it with me, taking turns to run it every week. This can be tedious, problematic, it leads to a lot of rioting; but that's okay because it's how we have run things for the last 700 years. If we changed the rules now, it would mean a lot of paperwork. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the Deep-fried Mars Bar is responsible for the deaths of thousands in Scotland? (Pictured)
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
- ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling?
- ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
In the news
- Donald Trump sends condolences to "Lon Chaney" believing he is Dick Cheney.
- Dick Van Dyke mistaken for David Letterman
- UnNews shutting down - because we couldn't let Wikinews have all the fun
- Artemis II spacecraft shits itself passing the Moon
- Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi
- World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured)
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
- Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
Ongoing: War Special Combat Operation "Ceasefire" in Iran • NASA deep-scrubbing the shit out of Fartemis II • NBA and NHL playoffs • MLB season • NFL fans overreacting to their teams' draft picks
Recent deaths: Spielberg horror movies after watching Weapons • Wireless Festival • Smiling Friends • Diana Russini's career and marriage after being caught sleeping with Mike Vrabel • The Kerri Strug biopic, Perfect • Dave Mason
Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mikey V's career and marriage • WikiNews • The Amazing Digital Circus • Euphoria (?)
On this day
April 26: Hyperbole Day!
- 1764 - Hyperbole day founded in the most spectacular ceremony since the dawn of time.
- 1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's amazing! Not like I'd tell you, though.
- 1901 - President Teddy Roosevelt mounts his wife: BULLY!
- 1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever. Aside from the racism.
- 1983 - The worst day in the history of the universe, God himself mourns. (Pictured)
- 1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting! Good job, Mr. President! Let the void take you!
- 2016 - The best night I've ever had. Ever! It felt so good! Say goodbye to cats!
Picture of the day
 |
...the Hundred Acre Wood-wide police crackdown netted Piglet, shown here in his mugshot after being charged with vagrancy, operating a wheelbarrow while intoxicated, hunting woozles without a licence, smuggling of unpasteurized honey across state lines... Image credit: Modusoperandi |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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