I often dream of that last moment, which may be, maybe I am lucky enough I will get to live, if not, the last moment can be just come and vanish. In this dream, I see myself, thinking of all the things not done, all the words unsaid and all the moments not lived. I always see myself with someone, whose face I can’t see, whose face I don’t need to ever see to know that it is you, it is us. It is surprising, how different this dream is from, when I actually, consciously try to visualize the same last moment. The end in my conscious creation has me as a very popular person, surrounded by so many, everyone talking, its a crowd, and I see you, your face, but I can’t feel your presence, I can’t feel us. How can there be such a dichotomy between conscious and unconscious? How does the latter feel so powerful while feeling deeply sad while the former radiates happiness even in all its simplicity? Finally, which one will it be if any in reality? Do I really wish one over the other? I ask these contradictory questions as I feel divided, deep down I know I want the subconscious ending, while all my waking hours I am working on the latter.