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Mon April 20, 2026
	Hello, this is your brain tumor calling. You need to go to the doctor. No, not a psychiatrist, an actual brain surgeon. I know I'm just in your head but you need to get me out of here source: livescience.com \| share: Copy Link	13
	England is known for their uninspiring food, but things have taken a turn for the worse with a notable increase in toilet desserts source: theguardian.com \| share: Copy Link	13
(Villages News)	Villager ordered to pay $21,000 in restitution in connection with fraudulent golf cart sale. Unfortunately he won't get murdered by a werewolf source: villages-news.com \| share: Copy Link	11
	I suspect that 'hold my beer' was uttered shortly beforehand source: metro.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	5

(Some Guy)	California Highway Patrol chastises truck driver for watching arguably the best Star Trek iteration of all time while driving source: cdllife.com \| share: Copy Link	24
	Existence of Alaska disproven source: dailymail.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	27
	Body found in Fife retention pond. Hopefully, none of the fifes escaped source: kiro7.com \| share: Copy Link	14
(Some Guy)	Wake-up call: You should have retired when your savings hiat $2 million source: moneywise.com \| share: Copy Link	67
	Virginia officials warn citizens to not drive on 4/20 if they've injected any marijuanas source: wtop.com \| share: Copy Link	16

	Texas needs at least $174 billion to avoid water crisis, state says, in further evidence that their 'Lone Star State' slogan refers to their Yelp review source: abc7amarillo.com \| share: Copy Link	60
	UK toad community benefitting enormously from efforts of volunteer anti-cockblocking squad source: bbc.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	7
	Hot new summer trend: water rationing source: usatoday.com \| share: Copy Link	40
	Happy Patriots' Day 2026 in Massachusetts and seven other states. It's also the 130th Boston Marathon. Long live freedom from wannabe kings source: cbsnews.com \| share: Copy Link	20
	'She outworks everyone. And she'll never ask for a pay rise.' source: metro.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	86
	France summons Elon Musk to court for allowing pedophiles to run rampant on Twitter source: huffpost.com \| share: Copy Link	51
	Measles case identified in Maryland. But don't worry, the only other people who might have contracted it were those who happened to also be at one of two medical buildings or anyone passing through BWI's international arrivals or baggage claim source: wtop.com \| share: Copy Link	22
	The Army discovers the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything source: aljazeera.com \| share: Copy Link	73
	It's your Maker Monday thread, I got nothin' edition. Talk about your projects or roadblocks to those projects, or just ask questions. LGT the power of "I don't know" source: youtube.com \| share: Copy Link	25
	Photoshop this busy street source: media.timeout.com \| share: Copy Link	11
	Want to experience Paul Revere's legendary ride as it actually happened? He'll be riding on pavement all the way. Through car dealerships and shopping malls. In broad daylight. With a police escort. Other than that, exactly the same source: apnews.com \| share: Copy Link	25
	Everything you need to know about the 2026 Boston Marathon beyond the fact that you're not running it from your couch source: wbur.org \| share: Copy Link	16
	Man attacked for pounding his schnitzel too loudly, surprisingly not a euphemism source: dw.com \| share: Copy Link	14
	Russian-made Iranian Shahed drone knock-offs are "literally disintegrating in the air before reaching their targets" source: tomshardware.com \| share: Copy Link	28
	Day 1,517 of WW3. UAF attacks in March cost Orcistan more than $2 billion in lost revenue, which is a good start. Kyiv's police chief resigns over officers' inaction during the mass shooting which left 6 dead. This is your Monday Ukraine war thread source: kyivindependent.com \| share: Copy Link	106
	News: Police raid house looking for wanted fugitive. Not News: He wasn't there. Fark: Because he was in jail source: atlantablackstar.com \| share: Copy Link	21
	Amazon delivers package to wrong address source: yahoo.com \| share: Copy Link	22
	If you see a beekeeper's box, and hive with the top cover having a decal of a skull with bees flying around it, the Lower Eastern Shore Beekeepers Association is now offering a $500 reward for its safe return. BEES source: wboc.com \| share: Copy Link	22
	7.5 earthquake off Japan, tsunami warning issued source: nbcnews.com \| share: Copy Link	29
	An eighth grader from Cerritos has developed an artificial intelligence-powered wearable device designed to be the opposite of the Opti-Grab source: abc7.com \| share: Copy Link	26
	You've been warned, Minnesota. BEARS source: wjon.com \| share: Copy Link	8
	How? Rusted to death? source: wfaa.com \| share: Copy Link	26
	Three injured in BP crude oil refinery incident. BP assures everyone "the incident" is contained, because when you think BP, you think well, they always have incidents under control source: komonews.com \| share: Copy Link	8

Sun April 19, 2026
	Life imitates South Park, the Pope vs. MAGA Jesus source: cnn.com \| share: Copy Link	50
	AI missing dog scam hitting multiple states. Your dog wants prompts source: wesh.com \| share: Copy Link	13
	You want to know how you get him, he injures your baby, you send one of his testicles to the morgue, that's the Berwyn way. (Ballsack trifecta in play) source: metro.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	22
	It's time for the World to step up to address the Rogue Terrorist State in the room threatening to kill everyone source: independent.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	114
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this flip source: c.files.bbci.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	11
	"Look at me," {{accordion hands}} "I'm the pirate now" source: cnbc.com \| share: Copy Link	53
	Bravehearted beagle benefactors blasted brutally by bluecoat brutish bastards' bouncy bullets source: apnews.com \| share: Copy Link	32
	The FBI's investigation of Bigfoot (yes, that's right) is notable for two reasons: It appears to be confirmation that a.) Bigfoot is dead, and b.) Bigfoot was real source: popularmechanics.com \| share: Copy Link	107
	20,000 bees captured, relocated from BWI Thurgood Marshall Airport. Justice for the hive and bee trifecta complete source: foxbaltimore.com \| share: Copy Link	18
(The Mirror US)	All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine says John_Titor source: themirror.com \| share: Copy Link	37
	Safari guide gets his wish source: yahoo.com \| share: Copy Link	32
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this balancing act source: skillpacks.com \| share: Copy Link	11
	How to beat the high cost of higher education: speedrun through online degree programs that charge a flat fee in a couple of months source: msn.com \| share: Copy Link	76
	Now you influencers have done it: you're forcing a farmer to breed uglier cows to stop you from harassing them. And he's so fond of Bessie source: mirror.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	30
	Reset the (probably bullet riddled) clock source: nbcnews.com \| share: Copy Link	207
	Surprisingly, "a red kite took my mother-in-law's sausage rolls" is not a coded wartime message source: bbc.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	19
	Home electronics, Russian history, European royalty, and more silly snack food promos are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 10-16 source: fark.com \| share: Copy Link	13
	What could be worse than living in a mobile home park in rural Kentucky? source: people.com \| share: Copy Link	55

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