I (19F) have been with my boyfriend for over two years, and I really do love him. I’m attracted to him, I enjoy being with him, and he’s always treated me incredibly well. He’s genuinely an amazing partner, and I can see a future with him.
But ever since the beginning of our relationship, I’ve had this lingering question in the back of my mind about whether I might actually be better off dating a girl. Before I met him, I wasn’t even looking for a boyfriend, I had always imagined myself with a girlfriend. All of my “future” fantasies involved being with a girl, and thinking about that kind of relationship still gives me butterflies. Even now, when I see other women in wlw relationships, I feel this intense jealousy and FOMO. It’s like I’m watching something I always wanted for myself, and it makes me question everything. At the same time, the idea of breaking up with my boyfriend just to explore that possibility feels really painful ,for both of us, and that usually makes me push those thoughts away for a while but they always come back, especially when I’m reminded of that life I used to imagine. I feel torn because I don’t want to lose someone I love so much, but I also can’t ignore how strong these feelings are. I don’t know if this is just curiosity, fear of missing out, or something deeper about who I am, and it’s starting to make me question my relationship more and more. I don’t know what to do.
