Our neighbor Jon Gale generated this picture of our condos.
We have joked about our row of condos calling it rainbow ridge because all but two of the six units are gay owned and occupied. Dorothy (Sam) lives in the first unit. She is a lesbian. Philippe from New York is gay and lives in the second one. Ricky and I live in the third. Cody and Cameron just got married and live in the fifth one. But sadly they are moving away to a house their dad helped them buy. Then there is gay allies Christina and her son Hudson (still in high school) who live in unit 4. The end unit is the only variant, Scott and his wife and son. They are Trumpsters. Well, maybe not the son. I hope not cause he is cute …lol.
Anyways Jon and his husband came over for a cocktail party and then he made this picture of the ridge. It’s awesome.
We call it the ridge because we are on higher ground than the rest of the complex. Plus we face a huge lawn which slopes down to the clubhouse. It’s an easy walk to happy hour.
I hope we can replace Cody and Cameron with more gays our gay allies. We can’t do much about Scott but at least he keeps to himself. I never see his wife anymore. Did she leave him? Is she locked away in there? The mind is quick to imagine the worst.
At any rate we have a nice little community and for once we have friendly neighbors. That’s a good thing.
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There has been some excitement the past few days. Our centurion fell and banged himself up pretty badly. His ninety year old gay neighbor took him to urgent care to get patched up. He will be a hundred sometime this year. We need to keep him safe.
Also another gay neighbor went to the hospital with a heart attack. He had surgery for some blockage and I am happy to hear he is recovering nicely.. They posted on Facebook.
Tragedy comes in threes so this should be the last of it. Fingers crossed.
We had our after (Happy Hour) party a week ago Saturday. It was fun getting together with gay neighbors. I though me thinks I drank too much. Another Sunday wasted on recovery.
Last Saturday we had another gathering san happy hour. We went to a local restaurant for burgers and came back to cocktails at the neighbors. It was a sort of roaming party as it started at our place before dinner. It was fun.
The next day was Easter. We don’t really do anything special since family is either dead or far away. Ricky and I went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. When we came home a tragedy was unfolding.
The sheriff’s department and paramedics were here. Someone’s granddaughter had gone missing. She was four. A neighbor found her in the pool. She was pronounced dead at the hospital. The matter is still under investigation so details are vague and rumors abound as to what events lead up to this great despair.
The up shot is that our community is shaken to its very core. A counselor has been made available from the sheriff’s department. On Friday a minister will be here at the clubhouse to help neighbors mourn.
It is very sad….one neighbor came impromptu by the house yesterday to tell us what he saw and unloaded his emotions. He lives next to the pool where it happened. Another neighbor was already coming over to go with us to dinner so we all sat and talked for a while.
On top of this tragedy, the neighbor we went to dinner with found out he was put on leave from his job. He is suffering from ADD and was attempting to get help which led to his temporary leave until he can get a doctor to say he can return to work. But that is a whole other story. I won’t go into the details here
Anyway it was not the best of times, perhaps the worst of times. My mind is shattered and the current state of this country isn’t helping matters much.
Tomorrow I will tell you a more cheerful tale, fingers crossed.
We have had a house guest since Wednesday. A man we met in New Orleans last year. He is from North Carolina. And our neighbor Sam (Dorothy) also has a friend visiting from North Carolina. Turns out they both live in the suburbs of Raleigh. It’s a small world.
Today we have a little break. He is visiting with a friend in Palm Springs for lunch. So I have a little time to blog.
I posted about our hummingbird bird nest. Well that’s on the front patio (courtyard). Now we have a Mallard duck family on the back patio. So far it’s just a male and a female but it is spring.
Not the best picture cause I didn’t want to spook them off. He is there on the patio and she is in the dirt next to that flower pot.
Tonight we are going to happy hour at the clubhouse. Hopefully our visitor will return and go with us, but he is on a sort of date so he may or may not return this evening. Such a tramp. My kind of friend.
Anyway we will have some neighbors over after the happy hour with or without him. I do hope he returns so they can meet him. He’s a hoot.
Posted in friends, random on March 9, 2026 by jefferyrn
On Saturday we were invited to another couple’s home for cocktails. They live in the complex. It is nice to have friends who are neighbors. We met them a few weeks back at the clubhouse happy hour.
Jon is from England and his husband Gonzalo is from Spain. They threw the Spanish themed party I wrote about. Anyway, this was a chance to get acquainted without all the commotion of a party going on.
We shared stories of how we met our partners. We talked about our families. We talked about work. They both still work. We discussed what we did before retirement. The usual getting to know you type conversations
We also shared a little gossip about the other neighbors. That’s always the fun part. Turns out they really don’t like the happy hours at the clubhouse either. It’s not a welcoming environment. People are generally cliquey and unresponsive to new people. The loose interpretation is homophobic Trumpsters. But we are not giving up on it totally.
At the last happy hour we set up our own table and chairs and formed our own clique. Some who are gay allies, stop by and said hello. There is safety in numbers so we agreed to coordinate any return visits.
And we are trying to be friendly with the neighbors. Maybe if they see us enough they will come around. We need to plan a gay event and see what happens. Could be fun or they could resent us more. Nothing ventured nothing gained. We shall see.
Anyway, we have new neighborhood friends in Jon and Gonzalo. That makes me smile.
I have been in a ho hum state since the New Year. Holiday let down is what I called it as a kid. As an adult I really had no expectations. So maybe it’s just a reflective moment.
Things are happening beyond my control. The orange menace is very upsetting. Friends with health issues, finance issues, my own medical insurance issues, and taxes. What fun!
Our friends from Santa Rosa gave us a surprise visit. Tom’s sister has some serious cancer and has been in and out of the City of Hope, just down the road a piece from here in Duarte. They stayed with us a few days to recover and vent as friends do. We were happy to be there for them. But it was draining on me emotionally.
This week might be back to something that resembles normal, whatever that means anymore.
We went to happy hour on Saturday. That was really a nice time. We met some new neighbors and shared stories, and drank way too much. Luckily we only had to stumble up the grass hill from the clubhouse to our condo.
After such an adventure I needed a full day to recover. I am old and don’t bounce back like I did in my younger days. Sunday was lost.
I have some half baked ideas to write here. I just need to take a moment and get er done.
Posted in friends with tags random on November 3, 2025 by jefferyrn
So many little things are happening to me. They add up to a lot of drama and dysfunction. This leads to stress, which in turn leads to eating. We all know where eating leads. I have somehow gained 10 pounds since jury duty.
First was the jury duty itself and the back and forth to Indio Superior Court for two plus weeks. Did I make the right decision?
Next came the need to repair the car. It needs all kinds of stuff, including motor mounts. Who knew those were a thing? The bill is over three grand. It’s been in the shop now for two days. I had to take money from my 401k to cover it.
While I was at it we decided to take enough to pay for a credit card we had been over using all summer.
I got the withdrawal, but in the process I discovered my previous employer was changing the plan the 1st of January to go with a new company. So, I made the withdrawal and let the dust settle before rolling the remainder over into an IRA last week. The money went into some strange state called a settlement fund. Today I repurchased mutual funds in the new account. Now it is an “Individual Retirement Account” and my former employer has nothing to do with it anymore.
Also in the middle of all this high finance we had company from out of town. My office became a guest room for five days and I was stuck at the kitchen counter using a laptop. Guess what else is on the kitchen counter, Halloween candy. I was doomed.
Happy hour
Other stuff happened too. We went to the HOA happy hour Halloween party at the insistence of our new board member friend, Dave it was not a good time. We sat at a high top table with Dave behind a pole. When I went to the food table and attempted small talk with some of the neighbors they looked at me like I had two heads and ignored me. I went back to our table dejected and munched on more candy
Food table
Dave came to the house after and we drank and talked till 1 am. That part was okay.
We agreed to attempt another happy hour. Next time I will be more aggressive and mingle whether they like me or not. I may need some courage before heading over. Hell I am old. I can day drink if I choose. I need to do something to break into their little cliches.
Hopefully the car is ready tomorrow!
Oh and I almost forgot. The lovely Franchise Tax Board informed me my installment agreement was being cancelled and to please pay up. damn, I had already set my withdrawal in motion and had not included this amount. Several hours on the phone and the installment plan was back in place. It seems the was a glitch in the system. Since my payment went in on the 2nd and not the 1st of September they cancelled me. Hello, the payments are automatically made. The 1st was Labor Day and the computer system didn’t have that exception in place. At least it was an error I could understand.
I hope November goes more smoothly.
P.S. There was a good thing. My chair broke in August. I call the store and they were able to order a part and fix it for free while my company was here.
This post took me a week to write. It tends to go on and on. Enjoy!
We had an evening in Palm Springs with a few neighbors. It was Saturday. We started with pre-dinner drinks at our house, Ubered to the restaurant, more drinks and dinner. Walked to the Arenas District, more drinks and dancing. Suddenly the lights came on. It was 2 am.
Now let’s fill in some of the details from the evening shall we?
First was the planning or lack there of. Philippe called and said let’s do something Saturday. Several texts back and forth and it was decided we would meet at our condo for cocktails, take an Uber to the Pantry in Palm Springs for dinner, walk to the Street Bar for more cocktails, and then Uber back for a night cap at Philippe’s.
Then there was the question of who would be going. Definitely the three of us, but there were two others on the fence. A friend of Philippe’s, Johnny and our new board member, Dave (see earlier post).*
Dave bailed first, then Johnny. Then Dave texted while we were still at our house and said maybe he could meet us at the bar later. He had a definite case of FOMO. His mother lives in Palm Springs and he was starting his evening with her. So typical of some gays to be such flakes, but he says he is straight! The jury is still out. When I finish the tale you can decide for yourself.
Philippe came over with his diet drink of choice, tequila and club soda. I had my usual Scotch and Ricky had a vodka tonic. These details aren’t important other than to show how much we were drinking.
Our dinner reservation was for 7 so I ordered an Uber pickup at 6:30.
Smoke & Mirrors mezcal, strawberry, ginger beer, lime juice
Rick and Philippe order steaks. They had different appetizers too and drinks, of course.
The food was good, the atmosphere was great, but the restaurant was pretty empty. Not a good sign, but it’s not in “season” until next month so maybe just a slow night?
We walked down to the Street Bar. I was feeling my Smoke and Mirrors. They were carding at the door but not us. I guess we look the part. It was full of older men. Maybe 40 was the youngest, if even, maybe 50.
The Street Bar
The drink special was something called a Rose Kennedy**. Philippe and I had them, Ricky stuck to his vodka tonic.
By the second round Dave showed up. He opted for a beer. He really looked young in this place (he’s 36). It was pretty noisy and I couldn’t keep up with all the conversations. But as per Philippe’s request it was very gay. We said things that should have shocked straight Dave but he seemed unscathed. He did grow up here so he probably has been around it all.
The conversation turned to board business. After a few minutes of this I reminded everyone this was a social event and to leave the poor guy alone. He didn’t seem to mind, but the guys apologized and we went on to different subjects.
Philippe and I were reminiscing about the clubs in West Hollywood and New York. A Madonna song came on and we got off on a tangent about why she is such a gay idol. Dave seemed lost when we talked about go-go dancers. I suppose it is an old term. We explained how they danced up on platforms. He said they still have them across the street at the Chill Bar. “Strippers” right? Well not exactly but sure.
Another round and the place started to think out. The older crowd goes home before midnight. So we wandered across the street to check out the go-go boys. Dave came along but left us after a few minutes saying he was tired.
Chill Bar
There were dancers in the front bar and we got Philippe to plant some dollar bills before Dave left. The Chill Bar has a mixed crowd. There were quite a few women, which is why Dave likes to hangout there, I am sure.
Go-go boy aka stripper
The back bar was darker and had a dance floor and more dancers. Rose Kennedy was in a plastic cup back here and tasted stronger somehow. Philippe was on fire dancing around to the music. He said he hadn’t felt this gay in years.
The dance floor in the backroom at the Chill Bar.
We went out front to catch an Uber back home. The street was full of exiting gays. Philippe had a slang term for these gaggles but I can’t remember, some play on last call.
By the time we got home Ricky wasn’t feeling well from the car ride and was blaming the brussel sprouts appetizer. So no night cap next door though Philippe was feeling no pain and still extended the invite.
There was a time when I could do this all weekend and somehow go into work. Those days are over. It took all day Sunday and half of Monday to feel almost normal again. Wow, being old is hard on the body.
One more footnote, while we were at the Street Bar Dave showed Philippe a picture of his last hookup, a beautiful young lady. He asked him if he was going to see her again. He said no. They never call him again. Interesting, I wonder why.
*When we invited Dave, Philippe said to make sure he knows this is gay outing. Everything gay, no straight activities. I think he already had a drink or two.
**A “Rose Kennedy” is a cocktail made with vodka, club soda, and a splash of cranberry juice. Despite the drink’s name, Rose Kennedy herself did not drink alcohol.
Posted in friends with tags friends on September 9, 2025 by jefferyrn
We are on our way home after galavanting around the country, San Diego, New Orleans, Sacramento, Redding, Portland and everything in-between.
Elephants on a bridge*
Home sounds good to me. We will get there in time for Taco Tuesday. Food is a force of nature that seems to rule our lives.
A few notes here from our travels that I didn’t mention before. We made a friend in New Orleans, Tommy from North Carolina. He was sitting at a table next to us eating breakfast alone. We struck up a conversation about the weekend of festivities.
He came for his Birthday. He just turned 60. He didn’t even know about Southern Decadence until he arrived. I told him it would soon be my birthday too. Next thing you know we are making plans to meet up later for drinks.
Long story short, we had drinks every night and went to dinner twice. He was a hoot with his southern accent he sounds like Gomer Pyle. He has our sense of humor too. We had fun making comments on people in the crowd, dancers, etc. We went to the parade together.
He claimed to be innocent and we were helping him come out of his shell. He really didn’t need that much encouragement. Now we are still communicating through texts almost everyday, kindred spirits.
We made a few other acquaintances but most of them were just for the evening. People were really friendly in a town full of strangers. Southern hospitality is a real thing and at a pride event politics are not an issue.
*The elephants on the Merced overpasses are actually black silhouettes of Columbian Mammoths placed to commemorate the discovery of nearly 2,000 Ice Age fossils in the area during a Highway 99 construction project in 2012. The art installation was a joint effort by Caltrans District 10 and the Madera County Arts Council to celebrate the region’s prehistoric past and the fossils that were found, which included a complete tusk discovered in 1993.
Now that I have filled you in on the cast of characters, let’s get down to business. The cocktail party was last Friday. Philippe came over first, one-time too. He literally had to just go out his gate, across the sidewalk, and into ours. We joke about Ubering home.
It was supposed to be a happy hour starting at 5:30. Dorothy had a prior commitment with her friend Doris Day. I use her last name because I find it intriguing. Of course, the movie actress is gone , RIP.
We were prepared with white wine, as that is something Philippe and Dorothy enjoy. But Philippe came with his own drink in hand. He is on a new diet. He tells us that wine is high in calories, duh. So he had a thermal cup with tequila and club soda. He said he had already lost 2 pounds. Who knew tequila could help you lose weight? The mixer in the margarita is where that calories come from, not the alcohol.
I am drinking Scotch and Rick is drinking the wine. It’s now a quarter to seven and no sign of Dave. Did he ghost us? Ricky texts him and finds out he got caught at work and will be here soon. Would have been nice to let us know. Young people are so different when it comes to protocols.
Dave arrived about seven thirty. By this time we are all ready to go eat. But we sit and talk and have a few drinks. Ricky stops after one glass of wine as he is the driver for dinner. Philippe goes back to his house to refill his diet drink, lol. We didn’t have tequila (added to the list for Costco).
I had put out cheese, crackers, gluten free crackers for Philippe, and nuts. Dave took off his shoes and made himself at home. Eventually we went to dinner at Eureka. We all ordered fish tacos. Except Dave he had a chicken sandwich and nachos for the table, and of course drinks. Diet be damned. I never have nachos. I like this guy. He can eat.
He also talks so I just sat listening. He does have some manners cause he tried to address each of us and include us in the chatter.
Back to the house and the drinking and chatting continued. This time he took off his shoes and socks. Sure why not get comfortable. It seemed odd but at least he felt at home.
We talked about work and what we did before we retired. We talked about the HOA and the management company. We talked about the dyed blue water in the fountains (tidey bowl). He had some good ideas for changes. We had some suggestions.
I had finished my Johnny walker double black and started on a bottle of green, so smooth. Dave tried some but stuck to the wine. Philippe tried it too, but stuck to his diet tequila. Ricky moved on to bourbon.
Philippe went home at eleven thirty. Dave stayed till a little after one. At some point I was out of it and he and Ricky were just background noise.
Post note: last night Ricky texted Dave about his first week back at school. Next thing you know he is coming over again for a drink. I stayed up till 10. He showed up but I went to bed. Ricky and Dave talked till one in the morning.
That’s it. We are forming relationships with our community. Dave says Mrs. Bucket is planning an October Fest at the clubhouse and we should come. Of course, that is the beginning of the season so miss socialite is all over it.
Dave didn’t win the board elections, but he stayed on the improvements committee. As part of that committee the board approved the refurbishment of our gym.
We watched from our perch on Rainbow Ridge as the worker removed the old equipment. The gym was gutted and an old space adjacent to it that had been a sauna years past was added to it along with a wall of storage cubes.
The funny part was the installation of the new flooring. The contractor was intermittently missing from the scene, so the Buckets took it on. They went to the supplier with a u-haul trailer attached to their Honda to pickup the rubber/foam flooring. They didn’t anticipate the weight of these rolls. We watched them struggle along with two old gentleman volunteers to get them off the trailer and into the gym. It reminded me of an old Laurel and Hardy or three stooges movie.
Someone got a hold of Dave. Did I mention he teaches high school physics and chemistry? He is just a little guy, maybe 5′ 6″ if even. He is very fit, a runner. Anyway, he put a pole through the rolls and one at a time was able to stand them upright, get them on a dolly and wheel them inside. The others looking on in amazement.
The gym was all freshly painted and the new equipment installed. Mrs. Bucket hung some motivational art work and wahla it was ready for the community to use.
Where am I going with this? Oh yeah, the party. Dorothy let us know that a board member was moving away and Dave had been asked to fill the seat. This got Rainbow Ridge buzzing with excitement. Finally a board member who wasn’t a hundred years old, Dave is 36. New life into the system and someone who might actually get things done around here.
Ricky decided we needed a meet and greet or something along those lines and the cocktail party was born. A little poking around and we got Dave’s email address, friended him on Facebook and invited him over.
We regularly meet with our neighbor from New York, Philippe, either at his place or ours and go out to get a bite to eat between drinking sessions. This would be our plus one, Dave. We invited Dorothy but she had other plans.
Again, I have not written about the party. Tomorrow I promise to finish this up. Like anyone is reading my blog anyway.
Life Beyond the Casinos 
