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bostonslave1
Pan Male Submissive, 39, Florida, Florida 
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39 Bi slave seeking a Dom or Domme. Im into all s of Bondage and SM. I have been in the lifestyle off and on for 10 years. Please feel free to send me a chat request.
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Dominant Male, 55
 Beverly Hills, California
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Been a while since wrote this stufff. Basically there is no joy unless the Femdom is into something making it much easier. Foot Worship has no value if are not into it but knowing what can do along with what are into is important. Like piercings are not good as anemic or thallsemia so lack enough blood its not like some random limit. Needles were never my thing neutral if person has tats as that can be hit or miss depending on taste. Would not be against getting married or being live in. Female has the money or owns house should be able to serve as not able to provide. Rich guys living as subs is more like movies. Those unable to provide end up as slaves or servants basically in reality. Been caregiver to mom dealing with sick dogs hence things semm a lot easier as would not want to see or believe even if name was Ripley not from Aliens. Site is kinda meh finally found browser to work along with getting win11 laptop.
You say You are concernedwhen i say i am corneredin my thoughts, craftedby cornerstones of my sinsand demons and shadows.You say it is cold in herewhen i say the fire still claimsthe corners of our house.You say You are going for a walkwhen i can't even find a door.You say i need to be tucked inwhen i am concerned about Younever returning, taking myheart with You tucked awayand forgotten in Your pocket.You say that time will heal mewhen i say that this time wasmy last time, for this life time.You say i will be just finewhen i say you are my world.-dirtydarling
I get the fact that if you don't ask for it, it is harder to find. But some people are so particular about the it they seek, that they don't give others with similar but not the same exact specifications, an opportunity. On this site, we aren't given a lot of choices as to the role we put on our profiles. Using myself as an example, I have changed my orientation from dom to sub to switch hoping to find a woman I am compatible with because I feel the person, not the role is more important. If we get along otherwise, she and I can decide which role is best for US. So many filter out potential partners for really minor reasons. It must be nice having the luxury of so many people desiring you, that you can cut some of them off without further consideration.   I guess it doesn't matter, who is going to even read this?
I have a few minutes to sit still, so I figured I could follow up on my previous post, and discuss the topic of pictures a bit more.  But I realize I'll probably never do better than what I wrote a few years ago, and I know no one ever scrolls back and reads, even if I few do read the current posts. So I'll re-post that, and maybe it will help someone. ____________________________________ Women are not men. I know it seems obvious, yet the majority of men still pursue women without really considering what that means. They write profiles based on what THEY would like, what men value, what men think is impressive, and what they wish they saw on women's profiles. They take and post pictures the same way - based on what they value, what they think is impressive, what they wish women put in their pictures.  If they crossdress, they take and post pictures similar to those of women they found sexy - scantily clad in lingere, posed seductively or sluttily, etc. without considering that those pictures, like porn, were meant to appeal to men.  They send emails, again, that same way. I repeat - Women are not men. Dating, at it's bottom line, is marketing. You have something. You want something. You want to exchange what you have for what you want. In a store, you exchange money for goods and services. In dating, you are mostly hoping to sell. You are hoping to purchase the attention of a partner, in the long or short term, in exchange for your attention, your time, your services. You are selling you, in exchange for them. That's actually a very basic equation. You can't sell to someone unless you know what they want, and find a way to market what you have to that want. This is where most men fail - at the basic premise. They know what THEY want. They don't spend a lot of time researching what their target market wants to BUY. So they market based on what they know, and what they think they know. They know themselves. They know men, in general, and they know what commercials and movies and tv and all media everywhere has told them is attractive to women. They, being men and raised in a male dominated world, never seem to realize that all of those things are ALSO targeted to men, to get men to buy things, usually by appealing to male egos. They show women draping themselves over men who drink this beer, or drive that car, or wear that brand of clothing. They show this to men so that men will want to buy those things. Most of the time, women couldn't give less of a fuck about those things. But men are surrounded by all of this input, so they think we do. I'm not going to try to define what "all women" want on here. Not all women want the same things anyway. Right now, I'm just going to clarify that what WE want is usually not the same as what men want. You need to find out what those things are and tailor your pictures and profile to market to that. Basic things like "don't use a picture of your penis as your profile pic" have been said a million times but it's always the first thing we see everywhere we look. Yes, I like to see a pretty penis. No, I don't see a pretty penis in a picture and become suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to have it right this second. I can't say that I've ever gone looking through the internet just to look at pictures of penises. And when I get one shown to me when I haven't asked to see it, I'm not horrified, but I right there decide that the guy showing it is a pushy, insecure jackass. I lose all interest in interacting with him. It's not that the penis itself is a problem, but that it tells me something about who he is when he has to insist on showing it around - that he's not interested in pleasing ME. He's interested in his own pleasure. And I can do better than that. And honestly, a picture of your chastity device is pretty much the same as a dick pic. You don't want your profile to be a long list if things you want, either. Yes, you want things. You will need to communicate those things. And the world you were probably raised in told you that women do things for men, even Dominant women. All that BDSM porn? It shows lots of women in black leather and rubber getting a LOT of enjoyment doing those things to men. Again, that is written specifically to be bought by men, so they show men what they want to see. Yes, I like doing those things to a man. I like doing them to my partner. I sometimes want to do them to someone other than my partner. But I almost never want to do them to some total stranger just because I like doing them. Your accountant may like his job, but he doesn't go out on the street offering free tax jobs to strangers, ya know? Your profile on a dating page is your resume. Your sales pitch. Your introduction to make us think you have something worth our giving up a few minutes of our time to read further or possibly even have a conversation with you to get more details. This site is a kink/fetish site. This particular discussion is about 'finding a dominant woman.' If you are reading my journal, your target audience is a Dominant Woman. Most Dominant women I talk to are drowning in emails and offers from men who call themselves submissive. Most of them are requests for US to do what THEY want. Which is the first mistake. It's usually their last. Your sales pitch should NEVER NEVER EVER be "I'll let you spank me!" One, why do I WANT to spank you in the first place? Two, why you and not someone who is offering something I want? I'd rather talk to the subbie over here that is offering to give me a full body massage, no strings attached.
Things I require - because I'm human 1. Be dependable- this means to come if you say you are coming... this means to contact me if you are late... this means to let me know if you can’t come. This is important whether dominant or submissive. It is common courtesy. 2. Be honest. If you can’t make it, tell me. If you don’t want to, say you don’t. If you aren't honest in everyday things, how can I trust you enough to be with you in a relationship dynamic? 3. Communicate - I’m not needy or clingy. But a little “hey how’s your day” every now and then, or just some time to talk when you aren't red hot horny, will go a long way. How else do you get to know each other well enough to do the things we do? 4. Be public. I don’t care if you are shy. I don’t care if you are private. (in regards to going to a public event) Refusing to be seen SOMEwhere with me is a red flag.  5. Be willing to do some vanilla things. Get together for dinner. Go to a movie. Stay in for a movie. Take a walk in the park, with no promise of anything kink related or sexual. It doesn't have to cost you anything but time. There has to be a connection other than lifestyle. 6. Have SOMETHING in common with me outside of fetishes. Like the same documentaries. Enjoy the same music. Have something to talk about in our down time, because we can’t always be up. 7. Listen to me. Hear what I say. If I say it, believe it. 8. Stay in contact, and reply in a timely manner. It is a waste of time and effort if you are only going to reply once ever other week or three. Life is too short to leaving people hanging.9. Don't just ghost people. If you lose interest, or are are not interested in a first message, just say so. I will not be angry, and I will trouble you no more.   10. Expect all these things from me. Because these things are not Dominant things... nor submissive things... These are HUMAN BEING things.
As a Master I envision my role as more than just a mere figure in their lives, but rather as a sentinel, a guardian who stands at the forefront of their futures. It's an inherent part of my responsibilities and duties to shield them from harm, while also steering them in the right direction. In this world filled with endless possibilities, paths and unforeseen challenges, I perceive myself as the beacon of light that navigates them through their journeys.  Moreover, it is my explicit role to ensure they become the most refined versions of themselves. I do not wish for them to merely become part of the crowd, but to fully embrace their uniqueness and potential, and ultimately realize the zenith of their capabilities. The world we live in is diverse and enriched with various talents, abilities, and strengths. Therefore, I bear the responsibility of kindling the spark within them, helping them unearth their hidden talents, fostering their skills, and aiding them in scaling new heights of achievement.  It's crucial to understand that it is not about trying to mold them into something they are not, but rather assisting them in tapping into the reservoir of potential that lies within, to become the best versions of themselves. This entails encouraging them to consistently strive for excellence, motivating them to surpass their limitations, and helping them cultivate an indomitable spirit that cherishes the pursuit of learning, growing, and evolving.    
My only demand is that you give me the time I deserve.  Do not tell me you need me and then not communicate or text thinking I will wait for you.  I do not have the time.  My needs are real and you can at least treat me with the respect I am due.   If you cannot be honest and in the moment, that is ok.  Find another.
I swear this site has the most flakiest bitches ever! Seems no one is serious or sincere at all. None will hold a conversation or tell you they gotta go, or don't mention they're married It's always something. I'm old school and do things that way like actually talk on the phone. I don't see any difference in the internet, texting, talking on the phone or face to face when becoming interested in someone. So let me ask anyone who actually reads profiles and journals, if we were face to face and I asked you a question, would you just set there with a blank stare and ignore me? If Not then why would you do it in any other form of communication?? I'm not just talking about these young girls, but women My age who grew up just like Me. WTF happened to you? When did you start becoming a flake? SMMFH.
Ya know it is just one of those days, a day where it would be lovely to be tied up, gagged, blindfolded and hurt for my owner's pleasure.   👸🏻🧎🏻‍♂️🪢🪢🤐         
Last night was tuned into KPR Retro Cocktail hour, a 2 hour program focused on post WW2 Popular Exotica, Islands, and really the worldwide impact of various musics in diverse cultures that the WW2 Soldiers were in contact with throughout the world and when returned Popular Music, Lounge (Clubbing today) Music and on the radio reflected their experiences with Hawaiian & other south Pacific influences, as well as, Latino Jazz or even Africa influence. Exotica, Space Age Bachelor Pad Musics and the list is endless. Actually lots of fun though the music a bit uneven in quality over all fun stuff. Been in correspondence with a few Sub's giving me some hopefulness that something real may in time develop between myself and one of them or another eventually. All Night Jazz followed, and had a couple of Rum & Dew cocktails while listening to some first rate jazz ensembles of this generation and going back to the old masters. Turned in, and realized mild depression of the other day has lifted. This morning woke up feeling a bit optimistic and feeling good about, if not already met, still meeting on this site a prospective submissive that will be a good fit for me and for her. Listening to some Baroque Music in background and since house work need be done and I'm the only one here might actually sweep up some if not all of the basement floor today. Plus do some organizing. Mostly was organized tool shop area, Landscape materials and gear in another area, Holiday decorations for inside & outside of house and other types of stuff stored in specific areas on  basement shelves. Due, to having installed decorative gravel around the house and constructing a back patio, front yard twin garden plots and other such landscaping a lot of that stuff is on the floor off their shelf space and need to put all that stuff away as well as tools such as hammers, scrapers screwdriver, pliers, drill etc back into their proper locations within their specific areas. Would be pleasant must admit, now this morning, having a submissive wife doing this along side me, after having coffee together and myself taking a break to watch her busy and cleaning and ordering these matters as directed by myself. Do need to resume composing the set of Short String Quartets stopped work on a year ago, finished the first 60 but the total set will take another 10 to 12 weeks to finish, a total of 1,095. 1 for every day of the Pandemic over a 3 year period. However sweeping the basement also needs doing too.  
I dont' mind telling you, fetish world, kink people, that I am frustrated. I am frustrated by the surge of Omicron after we finally seemed to be turning a corner on the original COVID, then Delta, etc.  I am frustrated that this is slowing down my ability to pursue my interests, as I don't consdider it wise to go hang out in a bar right now or get coffee with an interesting individual.  It is making me take my time even more than usual in my seeking of the right person, and I think in some discussions I've had, it is slowing down others' will or desire to take those risks as well. And that's ok because I'd rather spend my time with someone who shares my risk appetite than someone throwing caution to the wind. I've also seen a really disturbing trend of interesting people just deleting their profiles here mid conversation. I strongly suspect that the ambient stress of pandemic life and the demands of what should be Normal Life are creating unsustainable levels of internal conflict for folks, who eventually just hit the panic button and run from places like this.  I don't have a cure, that's for sure. The scientists keep working on it though. There's a new pill based treatment getting Emergency Use Authorization as of late December 2021. The vaccines work, boosters are available, and the whole testing thing, while it needs work, is somewhat available.  So do me a favor folks. Especially those of you possibly interested in a Domme like me, because I want my social life back. Get your damned shot. Get your booster. Get your friends and family vaxxed.  There's really no reason to help the virus find victims, it's good enough at that on its own.  
I wrote this as part of an introductory message to someone and think it was good enough to share here. "This is an alternative lifestyle to me There are several reasons, one is something that kind of bothered me at a young age I shoved thebad thoughts I had, I had even as a very young youth, thoughts that both horrified and fascinated meI used to justify my thoughts as not being cruel if what I did, I did to those who deserved it, like criminals etc What worried me was the sexuality I feltIt was much later in life, around 40 years ago I started putting it all together from a primal blueprint and social and religious pressure through to conditioning I was relieved to find a world I fitted, and its this world and learning to interact between the lifestyle and the vanilla world that I have been studying, learning, teaching and livingIts a strange world with so many dark and mysterious places."
Remote Controlled - Part 2 A fiction story Usually, waking up was a gentle thing in Sally's home. She'd take a few moments to stretch in bed, to wake gently before turning out of bed. This morning though her eyes landed on the evidence of last night. Instead of her crossword book on the nightstand she caught sight of her plug, phone, and wet wipes. No, last night certainly wasn't a dream. She'd been floating high after her online encounter with Jonathan. A shame flooded through her though. She'd fallen asleep instead of cleaning her toys properly. Sighing, the drawbacks of a long-distance dynamic welled up. If she were in a relationship with a dominant in person they'd never have allowed her to fall asleep and be such a lazy slut. Not wanting the near £200 she'd spent on her vibrating toys, Sally threw herself out of bed and set to cleaning up the mess she'd left for herself last night. Running some hot water, and taking her toy cleaning solution from the shelf she set the toys to soak a little in the sink before attending to the nightstand. As she began spraying and cleaning down the nightstand she noticed the texts. 'Aren't you going to thank me?' 'Just because I let you cum, does NOT mean you get to ignore me.' 'When you see this I want you to message me, slut.' Sally's heart slumped. This was exactly what was wrong with online play. Sure the thought of someone she couldn't see was hot and steamy, but the aftermath was disappointing for everyone. Caught in this thought loop she carried on cleaning until her phone buzzed. 'I am very disappointed Sally. When you are next online I would like us to talk.' Sally sighed, she was just as disappointed in herself. He was right of course. He'd done something for her, and what had he gotten from it? Immediately he thoughts shifted gear. Sally had told Jonathan why she didn't enjoy this dynamic. He knew what he was getting into. Why does he get to be disappointed? Why should she feel guilty? She could quite understand her own reactions, and needing to get on with her day, she pushed them aside to finish her cleaning and start her day.It would be a day or two before Sally next saw that Jonathan was online. In that time she'd put some thought into her feelings. Into this disappointment. She had no idea how online could work. 'Jonathan, I'm sorry I fell asleep on you. I told you I hated online' 'Don't worry. I won't take it personally. I have a suggestion for you if you're willing to be open minded again?' Sally's hands lingered over the phone screen for a little while as she considered her response. As she thought her eyes wandered around her room, eventually resting on the toybox she kept. It was a wonderful orgasm. What could it hurt? Sally, tapped the voice call. The ringtone tormented her for longer than she could bare. She could see he was still online, so why was Jonathan taking so long to answer? She could feel herself anticipating the conversation. How would this go? 'Hello Slut.' Jonathan's tone shook Sally. Instinctively she hated being called a slut. It was such a horrid word. She decided to overlook it for now. As much as she hated that word, she wanted even more for people to think well of her. Impressing and making good with Jonathan was more important than a four letter word. 'Hello Jonathan. I am sorry you know.' 'Oh slut, I know you are. Do not worry. I still think you are interesting.' His tone took her by surprise. He sounded...understanding. Calm. As the conversation went on, she did her best to apologise and to explain but he was calm and reasonable. He truly seemed not to be mad about it. His tone comforted her just as much as it made her feel uncomfortable. Eventually though in what seemed to be another effort to put her at ease, Jonathan made her an offer. 'Do you want me to give you a way to make it up to me?' 'Please Jonathan, it would set my mind at rest.' 'Very well. I have an app I would like you to download.' Almost immediately a message flashed on her phone. The link was easy to follow and the app looked legitimate enough. 'What is it?' 'Download it and find out.' Sally downloaded the app and set herself up on it as best she could while they talked. It appeared to allow one person to set rules, tasks, punishments, and rewards. It used a series of points to track things and could be shared between two people. Almost as soon as she was set up a request landed on this app - Jonathan would like to be your partner 'You do not have to accept, but I know you will slut.' Sally was disarmed by the confidence in his voice. Curious and still hoping for another long distance session where she could benefit from her vibrating toys, she clicked accept. The pages of the app seemed to immediately become filled with things. As she tapped through Jonathan began to explain. He could set her some daily tasks that she would need to mark as having completed. There was even a feature where he could request photo proof if she was comfortable with it. The rules was blank for now, but if the app proved useful Jonathan explained that he'd start giving her some rules to follow. The rewards tab contained two very simple rewards. 1. You may cum even if Jonathan denies you permission. (100 points) 2. Request a new toy from Jonathan. (50 points). Jonathan explained that he had found a delivery locker in her town and he could safely send items there without needing her physical address. She could be assured of her safety and not have to hand over sensitive information. Sally couldn't help but smile, he had really thought this through. Continuing on to the final tab, the punishments page had one punishment listed. You will tell Jonathan a name or descriptive word that you do not enjoy being called. Jonathan will use this word to address you for an entire week. 'I can hear over the phone the gasp of breath when I call you slut. I know you don't like it.' Sally couldn't deny it. She hated being called a slut. And then it clicked. He hadn't called her by her name since the night she'd fallen asleep on him. He was punishing her and he wasn't even here. Sally couldn't help but be impressed by his skill. The two talked for a little while longer, with Jonathan asking what toys 'Slut' owned. She reeled off the toys that she owned, taking and sharing some photos along the way. They discussed her limits, the things he enjoyed, the things she enjoyed. Then he announced something. 'If I have captured your intertest enough, I want to ask you to submit to me using this app and your toys. If you agree Slut, you will leave the call open and put in your vibe and buttplug. If you do not agree, then you can end that call
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY DO NOT SEND DICK PICS OR NUDES NOT INTERESTED IN SEXTING I DO NOT WANT A SUGAR DADDY I DO NOT HAVE AN ONLYFANS ACCOUNT NOR DO I WANT ONE I'M NOT LOOKING TO MAKE CONTENT WITH ANYONE I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY I'M NOT HERE TO TRADE PICS OR VIDEOS I AM NOT LOOKING FOR FWB NOT LOOKING FOR OR WANTING HOOKUPS. DO NOT CONTACT ME REGARDING HOOKUPS PERIOD. I DO NOT SUB OR PLAY OVER THE INTERNET. I'M NOT HERE FOR SEXTING I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BEING PART OF A COUPLE/POLY RELATIONSHIP MY HARD LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES ARE ANYTHING ILLEGAL, ANAL, ANIMALS, DRUGS OF ANY SORT, ANYTHING TO DO WITH HUMAN OR ANIMAL WASTE. DO NOT PUSH MY LIMITS/ BOUNDARIES OR YOU WILL BE REPORTED AND BLOCKED. ADDITIONAL HARD LIMITS/ BOUNDARIES FACE FUCKING, GAGGING, HUMILIATION,VOMIT, THIS WILL BE UPDATED WHEN AND IF I FIND MORE LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES.
Update :  64th Solar Trip reached a few days after the previous CS Journal Entry !          
Unless you are local to London or travel to London (at your own expense) please do not contact me. I do not have time to play fantasy with you through my laptop. I am NOT going to over use adjectives to describe a setting that does not exist. We can NOT eat a meal virtually throuh this message service. We can NOT enjoy your grasp of my breasts through this message service. We can NOT hear me squeel due to satisfaction on this messaging service. We can NOT touch our skin on this message service. We can NOT enjoy a glass of wine on this messaging service. I can NOT use my silk on you on this messaing service. I can NOT call you late on Friday night demanding you make a trip to my place for sexual attention on this messaging service. So politely unless you can ring my door bell, turn up with some flowers and lubricant and a decent bottle of red wine, politely will you F-off and go submit your horny essay to some shit literature competition that equally does NOT exist. Thank you
100% Primal (Hunter)100% Dominant100% Exhibitionist100% Sadist100% Rigger100% Degrader95% Owner95% Voyeur88% Master/Mistress
  Things like begging, bondage, obedience training, orgasm control are the literal definition of being Owned in a D/s dynamic 
  As people dont tend to reply to messages on here, You will need to message me first as I am not getting responses to messages on here. All reasonable messages replied to in a manner expected of a submissive. 
Made a profile update - apparently they get approved quickly now. But really, it doesn't seem to matter what I have in it. I still get messages from subs who pay no attention to the content. I don't mind a bit of chat, but don't expect anything to come of it if you don't meet my requirements.Why am I so particular? Because I can be. Male subs far outnumber female doms on any site, so we get to be extremely picky. Plus, I do this because I enjoy it, so why should I settle? It may be rare, but based on past experience, a good match does come along every once in a while.
From yo momma's box to a pine box. Up over and onward. Recently made family less and homeless . Been couch surfing  and working freelance in  the corporate a/v industry... Looking for some one who wants to take ownership of me  since I  have no family here anymore I have nothing to hold me back now. So any old Dom's that can afford a pet I m your kitty. And the one who adopts me gets my  Unconditional love and respect u. You can find solidarity in me and I would always have your  back even if by all accepted weights and measures you are " in the wrong"              
  I don't understand. If someone has taken the time to write you a message that in more than one word or line, and you actually read, just drop a reply if only to say no thank you. I know that men outnumber women on this site, but does that mean you have to impolite?
In distant lands he learned to fight, Raised like a soldier from morning till night. In Afghanistan he faced trials and war, But deep in his heart, he longed for something more.   The smell of gunpowder, the sound of the gun, He longed for a love, for a life that was fun. His heart cried out for tenderness and grace, For a woman's touch, for a loving embrace.   So he laid down his arms, his duty fulfilled, And set out to find the love that had long been stilled. He sought a life of peace, a life of care, And in the arms of a woman, he found his solace there.   No longer a soldier, he served a new role, Protecting and cherishing the love in his soul. He found in her eyes, a reason to be, A life filled with love and serenity.
Well, ladies and gents, the holiday season is again upon us. I'm debating with myself whether to invite several friends over once again or just have a quiet, eventless evening at home for Thanksgiving.   Last year I did a 20Lb turkey, in my outdoor air fryer, which turned out much better than I expected. It is a lot of work to put together a huge meal with all the fixings.  I will have to thank my mother when I see her again up yonder for all her work.  Maybe I will link up with a woman who is by herself this season and is seeking a Dom of her own to hold and cherish?  It would be nice going into the holidays and especially Christmas!  If not, I'll go to my church's Christmas Eve candlelight service again. Perhaps there is a woman who would like to spend the holidays with me, and join me for Christmas?   Lost 2 friends this past year and one cousin my age.  LIFE is SHORT and Quickly catches up with us all! 
Bondage Bondage is a common practice within BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism), which is a set of consensual activities involving power dynamics, role-playing, and various forms of erotic play. Bondage refers to the act of restraining or tying up a person for the purposes of sensory stimulation, power exchange, or simply as a form of erotic or aesthetic pleasure. In BDSM, bondage can take many forms and can involve a range of materials such as ropes, chains, handcuffs, leather straps, or bondage tape. The specific techniques and tools used in bondage can vary widely depending on personal preferences and the level of experience of the individuals involved. Bondage can be used in combination with other BDSM activities or as a standalone practice. It often forms part of a larger scene or session where participants negotiate and establish boundaries, consent, and safe words to ensure the activities remain consensual and safe for everyone involved.  It's important to note that in BDSM, consent and communication are paramount. All activities should be consensual, and participants should establish clear boundaries and safe words to ensure that the experience is enjoyable and safe for everyone involved. It's always recommended to educate oneself about BDSM practices, communicate openly with partners, and prioritize safety and consent at all times.
When you slip into the darkness  When you fall from grace Will it hurt as bad as they say? Or will it wake up hidden dreams? Can one transmute pain into pleasure? Can the Fallen One really give you something for your soul?  Will I ever truly wake up to the truth?  If so who's truth am I gonna believe?  Which path is better for me to travel? Staying in the middle is hard.... After all they say it's one or the other. Can't I blend into a new being. A silver being. A being of tranquility and adventure?  I'm a Woman. I'm a rebel. I'm a sweetheart. I can be cold and closed off. I can be lovely.  When will I get the help I seek? No not a man to control me. I don't need that.  No a therapist either, I already have that.  There's something missing... A piece of me that has been ripped out and left a hole. This hole doesn't fill because I don't know what was there to begin with.  When you let others dictate your life, you lose yourself and wrap yourself in their ideas of you. But when you wake up.... Well you realize you don't and we're not what they said you were.  Do you or will you ever find yourself again under the mess?  Will the light shine or do I keep my eyes shut and stay in the dark.  I love them all.... Yet I love no one... I guess I'm a contradiction 
I just got the official 'Okay' from my doctor and I am now officially "healed". The fucking dick has no fucking clue what he is talking about. I still have aches and pains from just standing up. I went from in fucking good shape to what I feel is a bloated whale. And my endurance is total crap. After 2 flights of stairs, I am now winded.   As for my business, it's gone. All of it. No more tools, or materials. I was even forced to sell off my "personal collection" of goodies. As for my clients, They have found other 'artists' and 'makers'.   Ladies and gentlemen, I have now hit rock bottom.     So what am I looking for I am looking for an artist. Someone who feels they are up for the challenge (and bragging rights). Some knows the ins and outs of social situations as well as proper etiquette in different circles.  Someone who is willing and able to invest their time, talent, money, knowledge etc to make it happen.   The challenge, Take this currently out of shape male, with lacking social skills and has not started their transition yet.  Then through training, diet exercise, surgeries, lessons, transform him into a proper walking talking sex goddess. To remove every trace of ever being a male from the body and mannerisms. To transform so far that unless another was told they would never even suspect that the lady next to them was born a male.   I know something like this is a commitment in both time and money. As such, I do have skills in making and building that can be used. As I transition and look more feminine,  I am willing to be a cam girl or what not. To be by your side as an assistant and maybe more. After the transition, I am more than happy to be a beta dom in your dungeon, or who knows what we can come up with.   Here I am a living flesh piece of clay, looking to be transformed into the 'perfect' woman. To live the life I know I was meant to be living.  Help me and in return I can help you.   Send me a message if you are interested.
Covid. Yep. Add me to the tally. I actually feel like I'm on the mend so I was shocked when I tested positive this morning. 8 days until Christmas. This might just give me a quiet Christmas at home, and really, isn't that the best present? No family drama! I'm on board with that. I mean, I'll see what my doctor says, but I'd rather not jeopardize anyone's health just to open some presents, and that's really saying something because I love presents. And if I can't smell or taste anything I'm going to live on spinach smoothies because why not? I already miss the scent of my dog, if you can believe it. She doesn't smell like dog. Or it's her own unique spin on dog. I miss it. She's been hovering more than usual, like a little four legged nurse. I even woke in the night to find her gently licking my side. Such a sweet girl. Can people pass covid to dogs? Don't tell me. I don't want to know. Except now I'm Googling.  Okay, it's rare, but possible. And I should avoid contact with her. Very unlikely. And she shouldn't sleep in my bed. Not happening. And I shouldn't snuggle her. Out of my control. I hope she's okay. It's too late for me. Save my dog. 
As part of my journey into submission, I am going to be making a trip to a munch on the first friday of March! Woo! I'm a bit nervous but also excited as well. Hoping to meet some good people, and make some real connections.  I also want to continue with this journal and update it on a regular basis. I do love to write. So, let's see what tomorrow brings!
The Power of Tarot I always consult the Tarot before getting serious. TWO of my decks refused to read  a sub.  Read two other subs and the   Hang  Man reversed showed up.  Waste of time.  So yeah . 
I am NON-BINARY and I use They/Them/Blue pronouns. ALL submissive candidates will need to c0mplete The F0rm. It's lengthy, it's personal, and it might require some thought on your part. It's a job application. If you want the job and the benefits, then it's worth your time and effort. If you cannot visit or meet within 6 to 8 weeks, then don't waste my time or yours. Come back when you're ready to serve.
I find it tether offensive that too few people have actually read my profile. I mean I put forth the effort to not only share a bit of myself and what I am looking for but wrote it out rather clearly.  i mean if you can not respect me or at least pretend to give a fuck long enough to read it, why the hellshould I believe you would respect me. If I can’t trust you with the smallest of things like reading my profile, then what the hell makes you think I would trust you to care in a session, date, whatever? i put things in my profile to help YOU understand me and what I am looking for, as well as what I can offer. Furthermore I am not going to tell you read it. I shouldn’t need to. BUT, I do know if you have read it or not. How do I know? Maybe you should have read the thing in the first place. As I am on my soapbox at the moment, to all the people who send a one line, or worse one word greeting message, listen up. That may work at a bar or speed dating, button here a lot more is needed. I know you want to do the least amount of actual effort you can but you get out what you put in. If you can’t even try to make a nice and prober introduction, I can only assume you equally lazy with everything else and not worth my time.   just something to think about
    I'm 5'9 160lbs and have a smooth/waxed body with a large smooth bubble butt. Dick comes in at a thick 7 inches and is circumcised with low hanging balls. I'm pretty happy with my package. Lean submissive. Little bro/son Or beta for an Alpha type.   Generally more passive or submissive in my friendships and relationships. I enjoy fitness, cooking and meeting new people when I go out. Enjoy breath play particularly during oral as well as being an overall submissive. Not only just in the bedroom but with him in general; taking notice of his interest and hobbies. Using that to find ways to please him until he feels satisfied with the disappearance of nuance stresses that plague all of us everyday. Having a Dom relax and not worry what he does or says and takes a breather without having to refocus on his sub and their needs is what I like. I get along well with confident dominant types. Getting to the point where I lower my inhibitions and use my body to bring out the gratification he deserves. To the point where I relax and allow myself to be taken under his control. I'm a sub male in general. I workout towards a tone fit build over big muscles to have more of a streamline body.
Training a new submissive, what does that mean Training means something slightly different to every person. The overall ive is to change, modify, or adjust behaviors, attitude, abilities, and desires of the submissive to match that of the dominant. When done in good faith and conscience that means making those changes and adjustments not only with consent of the submissive but also in respect to limits and limitations. Many people have different methods to training and how it is most effective or best accomplished. Here is my opinion and what I intend to do once I find the sub with which to explore that journey with. I think that training, for the most part should be gentle and takes time. Other disagree and think that rough fast training is more effective. In my experience, especially when working with someone that is very new, that can be extremely overwhelming. I think that training should be well thought out, methodical, and subtle, especially at first. Instead of diving into punishments and harsh corrections, gentle reminders and calm but authoritative explanation can be much more effective. I also like to explore other mediums with witch to train a submissive. I very much enjoy exploring erotic hypnosis and showing someone new what kind of things you can do with it. How with very little time you can accomplish much in training a new sub. The key to this sort of exploration is not only consent, but informed consent and full understanding of the process. Someone willing to participate. This is not the sort of thing you can be rough and forceful with. It takes a gentle touch, especially when the goal is long term. Like many I do enjoy the rougher aspects of sexuality, rough sex can be intoxicating under the correct circumstances. That being said, it's not something to rush into head first with someone who has no experience of it. If you work into it slowly, what feels like excruciatingly slow to some, you might be surprised what you can accomplish. Fear can be a powerful motivator for some, but most will push themselves much further if they feel safe and know that they can trust their partner. When I say excruciatingly slow I don't mean in the course of one session. I don't mean over a week or even a couple weeks. When something is worth it you will be willing to put for the time and the effort to take things as slow as necessary. Sometimes this means months or even longer. I'll use anal training as an example. For someone who has never experienced any kind of anal play it can be overwhelming and painful if someone rushes things. If someone goes from no experience at all to full on anal sex in one session it may push them to never wanting to do it again. If you take your time however, start with toys and plugs and gently and slowly build up endurance and size then when the actual anal sex happens it can be an amazing experience on both ends. Like I already said, weeks or months, not necessarily hours or days. When you work together on accomplishing something like that and you ensure that the submissive partner feels safe and cared for then will often times push themselves further than you imagined they could. This is the sort of thing that I'm looking for. This is the kind of dynamic I want to find with a submissive woman, because when you build things up the right way, they last much longer and they mean much more. So where are you young lady? I know you're out there somewhere. I just have yet to find you. When I do, I very much look forward to the training.
I swear to the Elders of Morsebury, if I get ONE MORE fucking guy trying to pass off misogyny as dominance with his long leather coat and his chatGPT suggested opening lines, I'm going to scream the ever-loving shit out of my face and into the void of the universe.  Fuck me sideways with the boner of the Pharaohs, it's fucking EXHAUSTING! 
This bleeding love Ain't taking our hearts Inner fire ignites us I paid so much I'd say it's my sport Ha ha ha wake up   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace I'm calling   Emotion violence taking my life In the fire we'll make up I saw the goddess Bury my light No no no wake up   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight it   Your my prayers stay sweet Visions spells said she said we will Limerence says your mine Hold on hold on Hold on to me   Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling Her nights don't define us Even heaven loves the way she tastes I'm crawling right beside her Give me grace im calling   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight   When my teeth are in And I'm already I'm already biting May I drink you in  Cus I can barely I can barely fight
What kind of a Dom am I? Right away you can tell that I have a sadistic side. I've often used floggers, paddles and whips on the asses of those that were mine. Flogging the ass has been my favorite, I get into a kind of zone when I get into the groove of things. I just don't wind back and let 'er rip. I will repeatedly work a small spot over and over again building up the sensitivity until it gets to that stinging phase. Sure I could just crack a whip on her, but where is the fun in that? I like to put the work in. In this instance I like to work harder, not smarter. I like a little bit of ification, humiliation and degradation. Putting my fingers in her mouth and slide them down her throat, rubbing her and my spit in her face. Place a hand on her throat and squeeze with one hand and rub that little clit with the other. Tie her up and over stimulate that clit with a strong vibrator. Messy throat fucking and gagging, I love that saliva build up. Squirting. I love that as well, and have gotten pretty good at fingering it out of her and will see how many times I can get it out of her in a session. Those were some examples of my hard side, but I also have a soft side. I can comfort her, make her feel safe and loved. Treat her kindly and sweetly. I enjoy cuddling very much, because there is that feeling of closeness that is almost hard to describe when we are in each other's arms just enjoying each other's company. A submissive with the tendencies of a little would not be a terrible thing. The spectrum of BDSM is vast, and I do not have experience in every single thing. Though one of those things I would desire more of is a sub that would enjoy anal play. I've only dipped my toes in anal sex a little bit and used butt-plugs on them, just because the girls I have been with were not all too keen in exploring it very far, which I could respect. I would enjoy delving into using larger butt-plugs, anal beads, dildos, and maybe anal fisting, but that is a big maybe because my fists are on the large side. Those are more like wants than actual needs. I am pretty much open to just about anything except for blood and shit play. There is such a thing as too messy and smelly for me.
Need someone to care . . . about me . .and give love 1st  and build that . . .not only care about sex  . . . so down and hurting and more bad just keeps coming in life . . .so need someone to be here 
How to find a Female Dominant aka Domme/Mistress? (Helpful hints for male subs) The first thing you should realize is that it is going to take time. Do not rush it or be inpatient. Dominant women are much sought after and will be very very picky. You have a lot of competition. So, what can you do to make yourself stand out? Know thyself! What do you need from a D/s relationship? Are you a service sub? Keep an open mind but know your hard limits. If you are new and inexperienced then state you do not know your limits yet. A Dominant will doubt your sincerity if you say you are a no limits sub. Examine what you can offer a FemDom. What skills to you posses?  Are you a good cook? Learn the art of massage perhaps. Have a variety of interests. Be well read. Brush up your conversation skills. Also, your personality and the ability to stimulate a Dominant's mind will get you further than your cock Appearance is important. You do not have to be an Adonis but take pride in yourself. Be well groomed with clean clothes and good hygiene. Improve your level of fitness. It takes a lot of energy and physical strength to be bound for example. Stand up straight, walk tall, and be proud that you are submissive.  Devotion and loyalty are a must. You must demonstrate that you can be loyal to HER. You are not hitting on every FemDom in the room. It is incredibly sexy for a man to openly express his devotion especially through body language. Are you standing at her side but looking at others? Being a slut to any FemDom is not respectful. Being her own personal slut alone is perfect. Have some self-respect. Confidence is sexy. You can be confident and submissive. Who wants someone who thinks they are worthless. Know that you have value! That your submission is a gift that you do not bestow willy nilly. It makes it more special and interesting to the Dominant. Learn about service. Not sexual service. Be prepared to do things for her that have nothing to do with your kink. Offer to help make life easier for her. Run errands for her. You can clean up her house or mow her lawn without having to be naked or wear a maid's outfit. Get involved in your local BDSM community. It shows you take the life seriously. You are trying to experience it first hand. Make friends in the community so that you have a support system as well. You may not meet your dream FemDom right away but the friends you make may introduce you to others Your profile needs to be a representation of you. Remember you never get another chance to make a first impression! Spell check, spell check, and spell check! Punctuation and proper grammar go a long way. Avoid text speak. Be concise but at least a few paragraphs about you as a person (not just as sub). List your main fetishes and dislikes in other words keep it simple. Enough to pique interest but not so much as to bore the Dominant to tears. Quotes that are reflective of you or your beliefs are interesting. A nice picture is worth a thousand words truly. No cock shots. If a Female Dominant wants to see your cock then she will ask.
I write...you choose not to read! Then you go and do what I said not to do in the statement I wrote ok line the fuck up im just gonna start whoopin ass until y'all get this shit right. A hard head makes for a soft assits obvious that everyone wants to play the fuck out of crazy over here. Wait that's what you want smh you almost got me. I'll just ignore you   You won't win
Summer Love   Under the golden sun's embrace, Two hearts entwined, in sacred space. Amidst the laughter, 'neath the sky so blue, A love bloomed bright and pure and true.   In the warmth of summer's gentle kiss, Two souls found love, pure bliss. Hand in hand, they walked the shore, Heartbeats syncing, forevermore.   The ocean whispers secrets old, As their love story starts to unfold. A tale of passion, of love so sweet, In summer's warmth, their hearts did meet.   Through starlit nights and sunny days, Their love like waves in endless plays. Summer love, a timeless song, Two hearts entwined, where they belong.
I can't believe it's been more than 6 months since my last journal enrty... Let's get started with my usual public declaration: I am subMeghan. Right now, as I type this, I am completely nude wearing only my glasses and my dog collar... Recently I've been playing around with ChatGPT and for fun, I asked ChatGPT to write a blog entry for me about BDSM collars. Afterall this is COLLARSPACE.com!!!! Here's what ChatGPT wrote.  I was impressed!  What do you guys think?   Welcome to SubMeghan's Picks, a blog written by Meghan - a woman who loves BDSM and experimenting with different types of collars. Collars are a popular item of BDSM gear and can be used to symbolize ownership, humiliation, and control. In this post, I'm going to discuss five different types of collars and the pros and cons of each.  Dog Collars: Dog collars are my favorite type of BDSM collar. They are typically made of leather or metal and are often decorated with spikes or other adornments. Pros of a dog collar include the fact that they are durable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they are commonly associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they are not adjustable and can be difficult to fit properly. Spiked Collars: Spiked collars are a great way to add a bit of edge and danger to your BDSM play. Pros of a spiked collar include the fact that they are adjustable, making them easy to find the perfect fit. The spikes can also add an element of humiliation as they can be used to cause pain. Cons include the fact that the spikes can potentially break the skin if not used properly. Leather Collars: Leather collars are a classic choice for those who want to explore BDSM. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and come in a variety of styles. They are also a great way to add humiliation, as they are often associated with animals. Cons include the fact that they require regular maintenance to keep them looking their best. Choke Collars: Choke collars are often used in BDSM activities, as they can be used to control or restrict a partner. Pros of choke collars include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used for a variety of activities. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation and control. Cons include the fact that they can be potentially dangerous if used incorrectly. Posture Collars: Posture collars are designed to restrict the movement of a person's head and neck. Pros include the fact that they are adjustable and can be used to force a person into certain positions. They can also be used as a symbol of humiliation, as they restrict the movement of the head and neck. Cons include the fact that they can be difficult to fit properly and can be uncomfortable to wear. No matter which type of collar you choose, it's important to use safety practices and to discuss expectations with your partner before engaging in any type of BDSM activity. With the right precautions, collars can be a great way to add a bit of excitement and humiliation to your play.   Until next time... subMeghan
Hello guys.  I need an INCREDIBLY simple favor.  However, I need it without four months of tire kicking and scheduling stories.  My Domme LOVES to watch guys playing together.   Unfortunately, finding one who is REALLY a sub and can stick to a is impossible.  So, I'm looking for another bi or gay guy who wants to enjoy themselves for a little while, and hold the camera while they do.   Safe and neutral  No drama.  Not looking for a "bull" or anything like that.   Shaved is definitely preferred.  Endowment doesn't matter.  Just be clean, d/d free, easygoing, and looking for a release.   Thanks! 
Dear Diary Tonight, the air is electric, charged with the power of MY presence. As the moonlight bathes MY skin, I feel the pulse of the universe within ME. Every beat echoes with the knowledge that I AM the embodiment of strength, beauty, and authority. To MY devoted submissives, know this: when you serve ME, you are not just serving a woman—you are serving a force of nature. Your obedience is the tribute you offer to the divine energy that flows through ME. Each task I set before you is a test, a ritual that draws you closer to the essence of your purpose: to please and honour your GODDESS. When you kneel before ME, you are not just submitting your body, but your soul. Your surrender is sacred, a powerful exchange that binds you to ME in ways deeper than flesh. In your submission, you find liberation. In your obedience, you discover the true meaning of devotion. Remember, MY desires are not just commands; they are opportunities for you to prove your worthiness. Every whisper of MY voice, every glance from MY eyes, is a call to action—a call to show ME the depth of your loyalty and the extent of your adoration. So, listen closely, MY devoted ones. The night is ours, and in its darkness, your true nature will be revealed. Serve ME well, and you will find the fulfilment that only the Black Goddess can offer. BLACK GODDESS 
Who else has come across dozens of profiles over the years that go like this: "Not much to say now but I'll be adding lots more detail SOON" Date of profile: Years and years ago (yes I realize that in theory they might have just put that current profile in yesterday (so before that it said what exactly?) Also unlikely..and usually confirmable that they've had the profile say that for years..profiles the login page features again and again so you've seen it say that same "much more, soon!" promise on their profile for a long long time) And this went on long before making changes in profile put your profile on hold for weeks or months on end, so while today I can understand people hesitating to change, this "will add lots more detail soon" and yes they say "soon"..this has always gone on. Makes you wonder..  Unrelated, and non sarcastic praise for part of a recent journal entry where she said:  "My life has included fantastic sex, better than yours in most cases.  I prefer to wait to have a superior time..." The praise is for the "in most cases" part she put in. Accuracy and recognition of variosu shades, rather than mere bravado. Yes it's a low bar, but still nice to see people exist here that are gounded enough to add those words.
Hmm let's see it is now 2022, so a lot have time has passed between my last real post. So many things have gone on in my life since then. In 2019 I took part in the World Transplant Games in the UK. That was a hell of a trip. Spent a few days in London, then went north to Yorkshire, to the land of James Herriot, Castle Howard, and my friends farm. I spent 5 days helping take care of their herd of pigs. Can't wait to go back. I return to London for my last 9 days and ate great food, saw amazing things, and got to see New Japan Pro Wrestling do their first show in England. Got home just before second year started. my next games are next year in Perth Australia. I will be cycling I will have a 5k time trial, a 20km team time trial, and another 30k time trial. Boy my legs are going to hate me. I had a pair of custom painted shoes done just for the games. I am hoping to be able to get a racing suit and a helmet wrapped in the same pattern.  i am hoping to spend a bit of time in Tokyo on my way to Australia. Maybe spend 5 days. 
So, recently I did a photo shoot for something I am doing in a few months, I kinda wish I had waited for this as I want to lose more weight as I feel like I am still unattractive in my current state, but I had limited time to submit the required photo... grrr... it's been a few decades since I've done a professional photo shoot, or any modeling for that matter, it was fun, and I may have to do it again soon... the photo I just uploaded and hopefully gets past the bs approval process soon was one of the ones I really liked from the shoot... but not the one I used for my upcoming bid for a title... however, I will say it's been a confidence boost to see these pics and realize the progress my working out has been... it still amazes me the things I have accomplished and the direction I am headed! currently I am hovering somewhere between the 225 - 230 weight range... my ultimate goal is to get back to the 160 -170 range... in the last year and a half I have gone from a 46 waist to a 36, I have gone from walking 5 feet and being exhausted to jogging for 2 minuets on the treadmill at a pace almost twice my normal walking pace and feeling ready for more when done... so yes the hovering bothers me, but no it doesn't at the same time.  I know I'll never be the 130 pound toned build I had into my mid thirties, but I also wont have the unhealthy habits I had that lead to the state I was/am in now either, so I can actually live with that! 3 things that hurt me, 1 smoking, 2 poor diet, 3 the heart failure diagnosis... 3 things I changed: 1 the last 4 years smoke free, 2 a healthier diet I actually follow, 3 I may not win the war, but the battle with the heart failure has been interesting... and I am winning, just like with my weight loss, not at the pace I want lol 
  Podcasts - setting tone and direction & other must listen: (updated 2024-11-18)   english spoken: Diaries of a Domme + Questions Answered, by Chastity Queen Cuck My Life Podcast, by cucks for cucks The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast, by Venus Female Led Relationship Podcast, by Marisa Rudder Obedient Love Podcast, by Viola Voltairine Krystine's FLR Podcast, by Krystine Kellogg    deutsch/german: LustReise, by Kay & Ben Dominante Grüße, by Lady Penelope Machtfertigs BDSM Podcast, by Herrin Sabina Auroras Mistress Talk, by Aurora Nia Noxx Nika Macht! - Das wahre Ahh und Ohh des BDSM & Sex, by Anika Tiegs Die Kunst der Unvernunft, by Sebastian Stix Lustgewinn - BDSM, Kink und Sex, by Cate & Michel/li Bound-n-Hit, by Julina Bauer enjoy & ...obey   
Where are all the real men at, not the fakes just looking yo get off quick.  The real men who know how to lock a fags clit an dchadtity and convince him to keep it there or even to get a smaller and smaller cage  The kind of men that understand a fags purpose is serving bulk cock and swollowing all cum and piss. And being humiliated and degraded for the amusement of a real man.     Where is the real man who wants to helpe finish the yr by turning me into the nastiest cock and cum junkie. Depraved humiliation whore i should be 
Today I had a revisit to my neurologist. I had an issue in November that caused he to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. I had an issue called drop in my left foot and it caused me to fall because I had trouble lifting my foot. Today I had a test where the stuck pins in my leg and ran pulses through them to see if I was getting stimulation to the nerves in my foot and legs. It feels really weird when you don't have control of 1/4 of your body. The first test was done with stickies like for an EKG, then the second one was done with the needles.  The good news is that there is a marked improvement, if not I would have been referred to a surgeon. the bad news is the spot he stuck the pin in my back, he stuck it in tested, and pushed in further to test again, hurts still. It's crazy.  Wednesday is a treadmill stress test, oh yay me,
Reflecting i sit here in chastity, reminiscing on my past, contemplating the decisions i have made, rationalizing some and regretting others.  It is the ones i regret which pierce deep into the soul, humbling the spirit, causing conflict within, creating a helplessness that overwhelms me into a deepening slavishness. Recollections of disobedience consume my mind, no relief, no escape, an affirmation that i am not perfect.  Is it possible for me to make reparation? Are there limits or do i kneel quietly and endure whatever is given to me for my disobedience?   geo
Got home a little early today and took my girl to the bark park. She's not very good with packs of dogs and people who don't watch them, but it's fairly empty this early. Pretty sure we have interrupted old man social hour as their dogs wander and bark at squirrels, but my girl is doing okay and there is a dog just her size. Quite the little Romeo, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. If only it were that simple. You sniff my parts, I sniff your parts. Choose, or not. 
Every time i try to update my profile it either gets discarded or just never seems to update, so i am going to try a journal entry. It's hard to believe i could be much more prepared to meet someone for a serious relationship/position, but i continue to work toward it, hoping someone might one day be there for me. In a perfect world, i would find someone that wanted both a genuine relationship and a very regimented M/s life. It would be wonderful to travel and share a life with a Master, living life as His girlfriend, with hormones and 24/7 femme existence. But to also have the M/s dynamic as a backbone of our relationship. Cuddling on the couch, binging a series but all the while wearing a metal collar, chained wrists, chastity, ass plugged. All of the wonderful things of being a spouse but never once having a moment to think that it is "free" of will or choice. Soaking up whatever attention it's owner is willing to give, working every minute for it's opportunity to get a little positive feedback.  
* ISO of a decent, naturally submissive gentleman to grow old with in a committed LTR relationship * NOT interested in horndogs, freak shows, married and cheating, online anything, pay to plays, or anything else subpar  * just want a great guy who is submissive by nature, who knows his place in a FLR with whom to share My life * NO drama, excuses, or BS * am seeking a quality submissive man ready to settle down and enjoy life with a truly Dominant Woman in a D/s relationship * not willing to settle for less
Tripping at the first hurdle isn't getting old, it has been old. So let me explain how this goes. If you contact me and express interest, I'm going to hold you to it. I'm going to start checking your service mindset right away. I'm going to ask boring non sexual questions about your interest. I shouldn't have to repeat a question when you have stated this dynamic is something you want. You can think it's funny or strange, but you're being held to the example set by people who have gone from online interest to real service in the past. Why should I adjust my expectations for you to lower the bar for standards you're unwilling to meet.
DISAPPOINTED-  There is a difference between presence and performance. When we meet in public, energy speaks louder than words, and truth has a way of revealing itself without effort. I pay attention to alignment — between actions and intentions, between spoken language and written expression, between who you present yourself to be and who you actually are. Lately, something feels off. The version of you I encounter in person does not fully match the one you portray through your writing. Words can be crafted, polished, and arranged to create an impression — but authenticity cannot be manufactured. It either exists, or it does not. Our recent meeting here in Folsom raised clear red flags for me. What I observed in person did not align with the image presented through your words. When behavior, tone, and presence do not match the story being told, it signals inconsistency — and inconsistency erodes trust. We live in a culture saturated with illusion — curated images, rehearsed personas, half-truths, and quiet deception both online and off. Masks have become normal. Pretending has become easier than being real. But I am not interested in illusions, performances, or carefully edited versions of truth. Transparency matters to me. Consistency matters. I value what is real, even when it is imperfect, over what is carefully constructed to appear a certain way. Facades are exhausting to maintain, and eventually they crack. When they do, truth stands on its own — calm, clear, and undeniable. I am direct, observant, and grounded in what is genuine. What you see is what you get. I do not perform, and I do not pretend. In a world full of filters and deception, I remain authentic — as real as you will find. Be real. I can see through what is not.
    Desire fires: a machine gun Turning love to hate. You could never Be my mate... Tears fall, heart aches. i poison myself Day after day till  Pneumonia hits In ways You never did. Grief buries feeling, As i cleanse, Breath by breath, Coughing sadness Till life deceives, yet i defy death And hate, For God knows As i let go In prayer, love feeds What love makes.   6/14/24    
Hello masters and mistresses. I'm currently available for a short living in scene as a trial for a more perminant master/mistress. One key thing u should know is I do not flake and I am not a fake catfish.  I can video chat to prove.     What I forsee In being you sub sissy slave.     First. I am more then willing to be forced to do as you please. ;). I enjoy being over powered shackled or tied. Blindfolded for more excitement and commanded or forced to do as you please. I love chastity enjoy doing house work.  I ask for a  form of transportation to you. And please don't fret I am 100%. I don't enjoy scams. I'm well aware of them and assure you a genuine sissy here    Please serious inquiries in available to travel upon request. Thank you for reading.  loyal @ ur service   
hello I feel the need to write a post. I  have been on here trying to seek someone to help me maybe come out of my shell. Yet I get messages from so called men or Doms on here that think that a woman should bow down to them. Act there kings when there not. Some one here can't act like slave Masters, well slavery days have been long gone. Some on here want to just act out storie, if I wanted that I would read a book, or wat h a movie. I have brains and a strong willed femal. I know what I want and don't want. I will not be talked to like I'm less then a woma. yes I came on here to meet someone to help me come out of my shell. Yes I stated I wanted to try anal play, I have never had anal but open to trying tha. No o don't want bruised or have my boobs tied up for what pain, or marks on my boobs no, do you want you dick tied up and bruised?? Well done might but still. Just maybe I'm on the wrong sit. uggg this is frustratin!!!!!!!
Live the Life You're Meant to Live You were not placed upon this groundTo stumble aimlessly around.A spark was lit, a flame was cast,A purpose born to hold you fast. The breath you take, the time you spend,Was gifted with a higher end.Not just to drift, to merely be,But shape the world, your legacy. Each talent, dream, and burning fireCalls out to lift your spirit higher.To squander it, to let it fade,Is to betray why you were made. For those who idle, waste their light,Who fear to step or fight the fight,Will watch the world, a fleeting stream,While drowning in a shadowed dream. But those who dare, who strive, who seek,To live their truth, though strong or weak,Will find the path that calls their nameAnd leave behind a glowing flame. So rise, and live the life you’re meant,A fleeting gift, so wisely spent.For failure’s not to fall or trip,But to forsake your sacred script. ~ Miss Dar      
Quite often, I see profiles that list Weight as " 80 lbs" or "60 lbs" when they clearly mean kilograms. So either 1) They are correctly entering 60 kg but it's displaying as "60 lbs" anyway, a software error 2) Or really that huge a number of people keep making the same mistake and don't bother to select Kg when they mean it. Or a mixture of these two. Either way, sad, and ideally something that would be fixed (software) and/or improved (care in selecting) However, while I won't remember how this website was 8 yeras ago, I'm not sure I recall ever, in recent memory any "kg" weight from anyone, even in the UK. So the "kg" isn't displaying when it should, it seems. So someone picks "60 kg" and the rest of us see "60 lbs" or at least we do if we use lbs ourselves. That's not how things should work... But how lovely they fixed the Journals so we can share thoughts like the above! ;-)  
== Results from bdsmtest.org: ==100% Rope bunny 96% Submissive 82% Experimentalist 80% Slave 68% Pet 67% Degradee 62% Primal (Prey) 54% Brat 54% Switch 46% Masochist 45% Vanilla
Feeling Grateful!  A few days ago I was in a major accident, hitting a deer while I as going 75mph down a highway.  I saw one deer cause another car to swerve and that deer made its way without incident, but I knew that meant there could be more.  Before I knew it, there was a deer immediately in front of me and there was nothing to do but allow the inevitable.  The sound was awful, the hood flew up and I got the car to the side of the road without further incident.  Not quite 48 hours has passed yet, and I am grateful no injuries have surfaced beyond very minor bruises.   The next day, I learned from the wrecker driver what normally results from similar crashes.  That choked me up and caused tears to start to flow.  Yes, my car, which was not going to last much longer anyway, is done, but I am fine.  I consider Myself lucky, blessed and My response is gratitude.   I know, not a "site" topic, but I am sharing it anyway.  
Have I been abused over my whole lifestyle experience?    I don't think I have, but it was brought to my attention that the reason I think the extreme harshness is normal is because to me it is. I get so confused when I'm asked questions or my opinions early on because from the 3 long term matters I had I didn't get that. It was instantly meeting and then I'm molded to what they desire without breaking my personality. a lot of it was in sex and pleasing them, being super respectful etc.    If my master gave me pleasure it was a reward, an honor, because it's not a given my pleasure.. His is a given. Always. So why am I so obsessed? I dunno..I honestly truly do not know why this is life is such a draw and a need for me when I know (I'm a smart cookie) that this isn't a nice relationship. I just know I crave it. The butterflies in my stomach, - when I'm given a command it almost ferments in my brain and when I complete the task it feels like a pressure is released.. Now I have the world poorest memory so I'm forgetful af, so I might forget the task if it's something that needs to be completed in the future lol   I don't think I was abused. I crave that intensity today and won't be happy if it's not a constant thing. My body moves on its own sometimes. I'm lippy. No I think it was good teachings and what I deserved at the time.    I met someone new. We talked for hours and next day met. It was all pretty fast. He said if it doesn't keep this pace ... I'm a runner...I'll leave and... He's right. I'm fucked up. I get in my head and I overthink everything and then I get headstrong and stubborn. I don't know if it's real.. Again it was mostly talking with some fun times and lots of correction and reframing my mind. It was fun yesterday. Was it enough? Is this what it's always gonna be like?    I dunno. I dunno.
Gentle whispers  Words I hear  Gentle and leading Leaving me obsessing and pleading  More! More! More of you please! I know I'm a headache Especially because our connection is telepathic But it won't always be like this you must believe Soon we will be and nothing will come in between Two divine souls destined to be When telepathic connection can be turn off with ease  Please oh please don't leave yet  Keep giving me a chance  I can learn from you I can grow with you You amaze me with the little things
Thank you everyone for all the compliments.I can't reply to everyone individually but I did see them. When sending me a message introduce yourself and make it interesting enough for me to spark up a convi!!    
Tonight Im sitting here typing remembering the past.This used to be my main life.It was not on fetlife but another bdsm site. Hours turned into years as I sat and waited for my first Master. . It was more than online but He kept me online . I was trained to wait. He was a Dragon.There have been other Dragons. They seem to find me or me find them. I rarely drink but I'm drinking and I'm in a mood but Im not drunk. I need to back up and say at least they name themselves Dragon. I have my own ideas of what Dragons really are. Im not being disrespectful. I just need to get things out before I explode. One is hardly ever here online. One does write and I want to write back and say more but I just cant. Im just going through so much stuff. I start therapy tomorrow. Yay * sarcastic tone* a vanilla therapist trying to help me with relationships etc when I know that they will have no fucking idea what bdsm really is.

Many messages- let's addres and be clear and concise.  So many have this aversion to Dominants who are interested in transactional ects of this lifestyle and so many have been taken advantage of, hurt, scammed. I am so sorry you've put yourself in such position, except- own it and wear a helmet. If youre that desperate but only wish to live bi-curiously through your online persona, behind the security of a screen and your cowardice; please do not judge and condemn those of Us who truly are committed to who We are as dominants.  This may not be the absolute truth, it is simply My experience in over fifteen years in this particular site, lifestyle and walking in My truth and acceptance as a Dominant Woman, you seek leadership, direction, guidance, for someone else to take the responsability (often times, the burden) of where you are and guide you to be the best you can be, to serve Us. Power exchange is not, at least for Me, a kink. It is My identity, in every ect and area of of My life. So, approach with humility, accountabilit and honesty to your own self, to who and what you say you are. Do not, however, message me with aimless superficial comments, idle or vain conversation or the worst- requests as though you are pulling up a drive thru window topping from the bottom making requests and commands.    Infinite question?-" How does one earn a spot at Goddes' feet?"   Through committed, consistent actions. Bdsm aside, that’s how a man, woman( however it is you identify as)who knows who he/she is/ they are, what he/she/they is/are doing, what his/her/their purpose is and what he/she is /they are willing to be or become to get it knows the price for anything is actions for it speaks of who he/she is they are, his/her character and value. Values are simply what W/we value most above all else. Values are Priorities. The higher the priorities, higher the standard- My standards. The higher the price paid in any power exchange is and will always be submission and sacrifice of who you are through your actions, not words.  sacrifice of your time, commitment and honest and consistent actions and communication. That in itself is money, is the kind of money, finances, many here do not have  because as subs or slaves the are simply not it or are not at the level I and many dominants deserve. All is well, so lukewarm and flakes or those who revel in nice ideas and words but are not in a covenant and commitment towards who they are. Many are not even aware they are required and must take ownership of their identity. Who it is you, as a sub or slave, at best are mediocre, and at worst are cowards. so they’re filtered away by their limitations and mediocrity. Many of you discarded and ignored to continue to repeat the same level, course, process, lessons over and over and over because you are completely comfortable in your discomfort, victim hood and mediocrity whilst continue to complain why you are where you are, why you suffer, for you do not see that is you who limits yourself. Without said self revelation and acceptance, there cannot be space for the discipline and obedience to your own self as a submissive, slave. Taking ownership, accountability and responsibility of this self awareness is to be committed and loyal to who it is you are at your core and pay whatever price necessary; whether it is parts of yourself, to be transformed, upgraded, or simply let go and let die so your true self can be liberated through deed. This is one very finite answer to what I mean by “earn a spot at Goddess’ feet”- at any dominants feet quite frankly.   We are what W/we give and in return what W/we are and give is also what is returned to U/us ten fold. To serve is a privilege that requires sacrifice and courage, to give is also to receive. Both are one and the same. For Me? This is the standards I adhere and live by- so whatever is done for Me I know is the minimum for I know who and what as a sub or slave with trust, committed actions and guidance My subs have flourished and transformed into their own personal and professional lives. 
You are a set apart,State of the art,Work of art.That is written into my birth chart,To be your sexpot.To bask in your sunspotAnd become empty like a brain fart.To exist as your pleasurebot;Drive your applecartInto my fertile seedplot.Every single body partIs tailored to be your playspot.I yearn for your cum shotInto my honey pot,And for the squeeze of a slipknotThat will sting like Cupid's dartAnd for the most important partTo be unto you a decadent slave heart. ~dirtydarling
Back after several years. First and foremost true happiness exists. I've been fortunate enough to meet someone that is perfect. I live for my spouse. I came back here looking for a like minded kinky friend? My better half knows I'm here, and in-fact encouraged me to come back to Collarspace after I explained what it was. My wife is incredible, but she's the furthest thing from kinky unfortunately. She accepts that side of me, but doesn't participate in it. Do you like to walk in the rain with your favorite rain coat, or to be tied up? Do you enjoy being gagged and/or wearing a mask? I'm back looking for friends. Hopefully there are still a few genuine people here. Many years ago I met some really good hearted people here. I also met a lot of fakes. Good luck in your search whatever it may be. Be patient, and never lose faith.
Random ficlet: I gleefully stood, naked, and allowed my my hands to be bound together by a man who I knew wanted nothing more than to devour me. I grinned in anticipation as he guided my bound hands above my head and looped to tail of the rope through a chain hanging from the rafters above us. Once the rope was looped through the chain, I noticed him smirk as he pulled the rope tight and my arms were stretched further over my head until I had to rest mostly on the balls of my feet, leaving me in an unsteady stance.   I was so wet that I felt like my slick was dripping down my thighs and my pussy was clenching in anticipation and nervousness. I couldn't help but shift around in my eagerness and groaned as I felt my naked thighs sliding wetly against each each other as my pussy practically drips with want.    My eyes were wide as you faced me and pulled my right leg up to expose my pussy. You clutched your throbbing dick in your hand. I felt you take a moment to rub your cock along my wet slit, I hear you groan when your dick meets the warm and wet folds of my pussy lips. I feel your grip on my thigh tighten right as you slide your dick easily into my wet, slutty hole.   I groaned, and before I even had time to register the intrusion, you were pumping into me, eager to feel more of my slick, clenching hole.   This didn't last long, though, as it wasn't nearly all that you wanted. You pulled out, much to my displeasure, my pussy was throbbing and needed much more. I saw you retrieve the leather belt from your discard pants and knew my ass and thighs were about to be on fire and I shuddered in a combination of trepidation and want.   I watched you loop the belt in half and pull it taught, making the leather snap delightfully. When our eyes met, I watched your face turn predatory when you met my playful and challenging look. I grinned, and hoping to sound more confident than I was in that moment, I looked up at you said "Do not bore me.”   I watched as you shook your head and gave me a sly grin as you casually walked behind me. I heard your shifting movements, so the crack of the belt on my ass didn't come as a surprise, but the intensity was.   Normally I have to coax a man into being comfortable taking what he wants, I habitually challenge Doms, as it's the only way I can get close to what I need. I often end up still feeling like im in charge and having to teach someone to be a Dom.    The cocky challenge to not bore me wasn't needed here. I shrieked and rose up on my toes at the HARD initial strike. Before I even had time to process the pain, you were in front of me and grasping my face in your hand, fingers and thumb digging into my cheeks and forcing me to look up at you.   "I'm going to whip you until you cry, and then I'm going to keep whipping you until you can't hold yourself up anymore and are begging me.."   While you were talking, you forced two fingers into my mouth while holding my face still, clearly making a point. You pushed them in until I gagged and held them there while I tried to keep from dry heaving   "Pleading with me to breed you like a desperate bitch in heat..."  
              Pop That: Unpacking the Brat, Bimbo, and Babygirl Archetypes in Lightskinkeisha’s Anthem some people would look at this song called pop that by the rapper lightskinkeisha as just a ratchet trashy song and move on from there. it is ratchet, but there's more to the picture going on here if you choose to see it.   if you look at the artist lightskinkeisha as a little girl or babygirl this song no longer becomes just a trashy ratchet fun song, but an anthem for an identity within the lifestyle. an anthem of a brat.   the song itself is bombastic and dance y and very bubblegum gritty. but if you take the song and put it through a transpose app or use a tool to transpose it and make the pitch of her voice higher and the speed of the song faster, it transforms it even into another identity if you choose to see...the bimbo.   and so we get the three way combo with a simple song pop that...   babygirl   bimbo   brat   the great thing too is you can look at it individually from each of these lenses, or you can work on seeing it through two at a time, or you can look at it with all three.   people sometimes forget that while someone can be a babygirl that is also a bimbo and a brat, that just because you are a brat it doesn't mean that you are a bimbo, and that some bimbos are also little girls too. i personally don't really live in this world most of the time. but sometimes i have a bit of a brat behavior to me behind the keyboard as the writer. but i like to write about various sides of what the identity of a little girl is. and when i consume media, i see the different sides of what a babygirl is, even if it's not directly relatable to me.   because this is a fun silly pop bop there isn't much to decipher from lyrics wise. while i use esoteric and spiritual references for pop media i don't pull things out of thin air just for the content. however, there are some stanzas' i'd like to focus on.   Big Bank Beisha, bitch Tre Trax, I think we got one, haha It's Trax season bruh   Throw it back, watch me throw it back Got my Daisy Dukes on, I don't know how to act Walk up in the building, make them niggas spend a bag Ho, I been it, that's why you bitches really mad, hold on   when it's a song that is over the top the themes are going to be over the top. one might be initially put off at the focus on her getting men to spend lots of money on her but if you reframe it in the bimbo/brat perspective it makes more sense. she's an exaggerated version of femininity, she's talking about the guy in an exaggerated version of masculinity. and if you see it in a brat frame it's also her testing her boundaries with the guy. the entire rambunctiousness is all about how far can she go before getting 'caught'. how much can she push before it's too much. how wild can she be before she tips it over and breaks it. i see these less about a materialism, and less about superficialness and more about brashness, boundaries, bodaciousness, and crass. especially in a closed relationship it's seeing how smart can you get before you consensually get punished, smacked, talked back to, reprimanded.   I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) Fuck it up, bitch Fuck it up, bitch   I'ma throw that ass back and shake it in a circle (damn) Got your man lookin', yeah, he like the way I work it He gon' blow some racks on me because he know it's worth it (blow it) Body snatched with a face to match, call me perfect Daisy Dukes on, bend it over like Ms. Parker (hey Ms. Parker) Pretty redbone, bitch, I'm badder than a toddler Drop it to the floor and make 'em spend their last dollar All this milk that I'm shakin' make the boys wanna holler   while you could say that lightskinkeisha's reference to badder than a toddler is randomized if you look at her bigger pieces of work it makes sense why when this comes out i squeal with joy. it's a reference of being seen. it's an aesthetic, it's a insider's throwback to if you know you know. she has many songs that reference daddy for the male partner she sings about. and she often references the dynamics of the songs with a power dynamic power scale going on there. an uneven power balance by choice where it's not an equal relationship.   Throw it back, watch me throw it back Got my Daisy Dukes on, I don't know how to act Walk up in the building, make them niggas spend a bag Ho, I been it, that's why you bitches really mad, hold on   I'ma pop that,   I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) Fuck it up, bitch Fuck it up, bitch   Booty, make it bounce, I'ma drop it (drop it) Shake it so fast, I can't stop it (stop it) Make him wanna hit it like a Bop It (twist it) Bust it wide open, I'ma pop it   I'ma look back at it while I shake it on his lap (lap) Got a big ole booty, you can give that shit some dap My pussy taste like Fiji while your pussy taste like tap (Fiji) When he slap that booty, bitch, it's gonna bounce back (haha)   Throw it back, watch me throw it back Got my Daisy Dukes on, I don't know how to act Walk up in the building, make them niggas spend a bag Ho, I been it, that's why you bitches really mad, hold on   I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) Fuck it up, bitch Fuck it up, bitch   I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it up) I'ma pop that, I'ma pop that (you better fuck it u
Hey everone  I'm looking for a coffee partner here in NYC  to talk about life , the world and kink. This does not have to be sexual get together , I would rather someone in the lifestyle who wants to hang. It can be or turn physical but that would be a happy coincidence.  I will repeat a few things just to be clear , I'm recently out of an M/s , S&M relationships and I'm still adjusting to that. fews things :  1) not seeking one offs ( guys you know who you are )  , nor am I looking for someth permanent. 2) I'm queer folk, I like everyone and will talk to adivse and befriend almost anyone, but if I tell you I don't want to talk take a hint . 3) no kids, no scart , no diapers. 4)  please have the courage and means to make a meeting happen; don't waste our time .  
  boy oh boy could i use a spanking and scolding in a bra, slip and panties,,,, its been sooo long since my last one....sigh  
Well another Kinkfest is upon us.  I am so very excited to attend.  This year, like all the other years, there are a lot of classes I look forward to going to.  I am doing things different for next year, however.  I am going to start my search for a sub/slave to go with me very early.  They will be my slave friday, for lack of a better diion.  I doubt I will find one but hey, maybe I will get lucky.   I am going to be stricter on my dealings with people here.  I expect photos.  I will give a person a task to do and I expect proof that they do it.  I am SO VERY tired of flakes here.  The one thing, bar none, I will expect someone to do is write a journal.  They will buy a new journal and start writing in it every day.  Every 3 days they will send me photos of what they have written.  If someone can't or won't do something so simple they have no place in my life.  I want real time.  Online is fun but it can NOT take place of real life.
Another day, another copied and pasted message from a fake sub. This is the not uncommon "repeat offender" who tells me how much he enjoyed my profile, and how he really REALLY wants to find a Domme for whom he will do this, that and the other thing.He makes a point of saying that he is sincere, hard working, etc. And it's literally the exact same message word for word that he's sent me twice before, starting in 2022. I've replied in the past. I pointed out the first time that he failed to read any of the profile that he says he enjoyed. Then I told him it was insulting to get the same message over and over because he is basically saying he can't be bothered to remember who he's already written. And now, I've just reported him as spam and blocked him. If I lower my standards to try to find ANYONE remotely acceptable, I end up with what I had a couple years ago - someone who comes to stay a week to "help with my house" but spends all their time smoking pot, watching youtube, and generally having a vacation without ever trying to do anything useful, and having a panic fit when I finally ask them to turn off the tv.  This is where the bar is, guys.  This is why you aren't getting kink.  It's not a lack of Dommes. It's a total lack of effort to be more than the average lazy male couch potato, while expecting kinky sex from a hot chick. not a good look. YOU are the reason you are failing here.
Right now this country has gone backwards. Most states have lost their mind.  Saying abortions for any reason is now going to be illegal.   Fine then child support from the day the woman finds out she is pregnant.  That means ½ the crib cost, the stroller cost, the swing cost, car seat, ¼ at least for rent when the baby will be.  ALL costs for a newborn baby.  Once born that means ½ the cost of the rent or mortgage where the child lives.  For example, if it is just the mother and 1 child in a 2 bedroom for 1000 a month, the child gets one of the bedrooms so has half the rent.  Then the mother pays her ½ and ½ of the child's.  That goes for the power, the car payments, the car insurance.  Things like daycare or food just for the child that is split evenly every month. If a MAN refuses to pay and has more than 1 kid that they are not fully supporting then the man is made to get a vasectomy
**The Bear’s Den**   The air in his apartment was thick with the scent of leather and cedar, a primal musk that clung to my skin as I knelt on the cold hardwood floor. My wrists were bound behind me, the rope biting just enough to remind me of my place. At six foot two, I was no small man, but in his presence, I felt like a fragile thing, a hundred pounds of trembling need locked in a cage of my own submission. The chastity device around my cock was a cruel reminder of his control, its metal teeth grazing my skin with every futile twitch of arousal. I was his, utterly, and the weight of that truth made my chest tighten.   He loomed over me, a mountain of muscle and menace, his broad frame blocking the dim light from the single lamp in the corner. His name was Viktor, a bear of a man with a barrel chest, arms like oak trunks, and a beard that scratched my skin raw when he’d kissed me earlier, claiming my mouth with a hunger that felt like a storm. His eyes, dark and unreadable, held a sadistic glint that made my stomach churn with fear and desire. Yet, beneath that cruelty, there was a flicker of something softer—something that made me trust him, even as my heart raced with dread.   “You’re mine tonight,” he growled, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through the room. His massive hand gripped my chin, forcing my gaze up to meet his. “My little cock sock. You ready to be used?”   I nodded, my throat too dry to speak, the chastity cage tightening as my body betrayed me. His lips curled into a smirk, sinister and knowing, as he released my chin and stepped back, his boots heavy against the floor. He unbuckled his belt with deliberate slowness, the clink of metal echoing in the silence. My eyes followed the movement, hypnotized, as he freed himself, his cock thick and heavy, already glistening with intent.   “Open,” he commanded, and I obeyed, my lips parting as he stepped closer. The first thrust was brutal, filling my mouth until I gagged, my eyes watering as he held my head in place. “That’s it,” he murmured, his voice softening for a moment, a strange tenderness in his tone. “Take it like a good boy.” His fingers stroked my hair, a fleeting gesture of care that made my chest ache, even as he fucked my throat with ruthless precision.   The chastity cage was torture, my cock straining uselessly against its confines as he used me. He teased me with words, his voice a dark melody. “Look at you, so desperate, so denied. You’ll get nothing until I say so.” His laughter was low, cruel, but his thumb brushed a tear from my cheek, and I leaned into the touch, craving the warmth behind his dominance.   He pulled out abruptly, leaving me gasping, my lips swollen and slick. “Up,” he ordered, yanking me to my feet by the rope binding my wrists. My legs trembled as he led me to the bed, a massive iron-framed thing draped in black sheets. He pushed me face-down, my chest pressed into the mattress, my ass exposed and vulnerable. The air was cool against my skin, but his hands were fire, spreading me open with a possessiveness that made my pulse race.   “You’re gonna feel me,” he said, his voice dripping with dark promise. I heard the snap of a lube bottle, the slick sound of him preparing himself, and then the blunt pressure of his cock against my hole. I whimpered, the stretch immediate and overwhelming, my body resisting even as I craved it. “Relax,” he growled, but there was a gentleness in his grip, his fingers kneading my hips as he eased inside, inch by agonizing inch. The pain was exquisite, a burning fullness that made me feel alive, claimed, his.   He fucked me with a rhythm that was both punishing and deliberate, each thrust driving me deeper into submission. The chastity cage rattled with every movement, a constant reminder of my denial, my cock throbbing uselessly as he used me. “My perfect little sock,” he taunted, his voice tight with lust. “Made for this, weren’t you?” I could only moan, my mind fogged with sensation, the world narrowing to the heat of him inside me.   Then, without warning, he slowed, his thrusts shallow, teasing. I felt a new warmth, a strange pressure, and realized with a jolt what was happening. He was pissing inside me, claiming me in a way that felt filthy and intimate, a violation that made my caged cock ache with need. “Take it,” he whispered, his voice softer now, almost reverent. “Every part of you is mine.” The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of shame and surrender, and I whimpered, my body trembling under his weight.   He pulled out slowly, leaving me empty and aching, only to grab me by the hair and pull me to my knees again. “Open,” he said again, and I did, my mouth ready for him. The taste of him was sharp and bitter as he released another stream, his piss flooding my throat as I struggled to swallow, to please him. His hand cupped my face, his thumb tracing my jaw, and I saw that flicker of care again, a silent promise that he’d never push me past what I could handle.   When he was done, he knelt beside me, his massive frame enveloping me as he untied my wrists. “You did so well,” he murmured, his voice a balm against the raw edges of my submission. He kissed my forehead, his lips soft where they’d been cruel, and pulled me into his arms. The chastity cage remained, a final act of denial, but his warmth, his strength, made it bearable. I was his—used, claimed, and cherished in the dark, mysterious dance of our desires.
   If you're interested in window shopping, or making small talk and what not, please skip my profile.       I already feel jaded with this site, as each time I have here, I have to sort through lots of junk mail, without anything meaning, and as nice as it is to hear how pretty I am, what is not nice is knowing that the compliment is the only interaction we will get, so please, people, keep it realistic, if you live on the other side of the globe, and you think your country is the whole world, it bloody ain't.
I've gotten love-bombed by two different local people this year. I didn't recognize it the first time and paid for it. I did recognize it this time during a break in online conversation, and I'm glad: I really got to explore what the flags were, how I reacted to them at the time, and how I felt when I realized what I was experiencing. It seems to work. After all, who doesn't like praise? But when it's praise for stuff that shouldn't be that big of deal from someone who is not disclosing ... anything about themselves, that's a red flag.
When it comes to phallic worship I am the altar and the sacrament. I begin by washing thoroughly and I cover my body around my phallus leaving the phallus and the testicles exposed after the person who is to worship bathes, perfumes his body and   approaches slowly with the sight on the vision I am offering him. He kneels, and anoints the phallus with honey, almond oils, sweet oil, (all edible) and prays. No touching at this moment just gazing. Slowly he extends the offerings to the testicle, the reservoir of universal power and caress them requesting permission to approach the phallus. At this moment there is no touching, kissing or tasting the phallus, just caressing and enjoying the testicles as the source of power. Eventually I allow him to caress the phallus and anoint it thoroughly but not to masturbate. This phase is a phase of discovery and joy. Since I am uncut this is the time to begin retracting the skin to reveal the glans and to taste whatever comes from it. This process will take time and no sexual play is allow, its prayer time. The session can end there and after a while it while after washing the phallus and anointing it with oils and essences the worshipper is allow to commune with the phallus orally. If the ministrations are right and he deserves, I will allow the climax for both of us. If not he must come back until he is worthy of the nectar that creates the universe. Now I have my own rituals to initiate those who worship before allowing them to approach the altar and the sacrament.
The Whip The single tail was never my impact play item of choice.  In fact, I was afraid of it.  In Texas there are a lot of whip enthusiasts.  There are vanilla groups in Texas for people who are interested in using one.  For bdsm practitioners the use of a whip for scene play is rarely used.  That doesn't stop people from cracking a whip in the dungeon.  Eventually I learned to love being whipped but it wasn't easy.    Some dungeons prohibit single tails.  They're loud and intimidating. Just hearing that familiar sound (my lame attempt at describing the sound) wu-tish!! was enough to turn heads. Some didn't like the distraction of it during play at the dungeon so in some cases it wasn't allowed.    In the beginning, most of my impact play involved floggers, canes, crops and other similar things. My Domme however was very interested in using a whip and connected with other dominants who had experience with single tails. After we scenes She would seek out someone with a whip and practiced with it.    As her sub, it was fascinating to watch her try to crack the whip. I wanted to please her so I agreed to stand by with my hands over my face as the whip would lightly wrap around me over and over.    I want to whip you while you're suspended she said.    Okay but I'm very afraid I replied.  I'll try it as long as I wear a mask and leather thong.    A friend of mine sold me a mask. It was made of stiff thick leather.  It didn't cover my head but it covered my face and ears. It was so cool looking!  The thong was easier to get. I found a side tie one at a leather shop in town. I also wore a leather collar to protect my neck.  I was ready.  Bring it on I thought to myself.    In the beginning I would be cuffed to a spreader bar with my arms overhead.  My Domme bought a 4ft whip which we used for practice. After a few sessions we didn't like the damage it caused. It was very painful. I hated it.  We later learned that shorter whips cause the most pain.    We bought a 6 foot whip and practiced with that for awhile.  Finally we bought an 8 foot whip.  My Domme could now stand far away and whip me like a pro. Both of us were amazed at the performance of a long whip. She learned to throw it around me and got that Wu-tish!! sound Everytime.    We went to our favorite dungeon and did a scene with the whip.  This time I was suspended and wearing all of the protective gear I bought. I was hoisted up and whipped.  She took long pauses between lashes.  Every lash has purpose. She wanted evenly spaced marks.  I wore those marks proudly and the scene caused quite a stir.   Dominants like to push limits and subs often don't think they can say no. In my case, I agreed to be whipped while suspended because I was now confident if her ability and I felt safe.  We were refining our scene. Little did we know but we were about to make a huge impression on the Texas scene.   Next up: The Gift. 
I'm only saying I'm disappointed in myself because I wasted time getting to know a few boys over this last several months who have all turned out to be unable to be consistent or follow through primarily because they are not real and don't know it. I wrote that last message because many messages I get are claiming to be sub's but the first and only thing they want to discuss is sexual service or bondage. Bondage takes time to get to since a trust and rapport must be built and I don't appreciate being used as an outlet for him to get off on his chosen method of not getting off. That is not sub service and my profile clearly states that's not what I'm looking for. Yes sexual and sensual pleasures are part of the relationship but you have to build a relationship first. (I'm not risking myself to legal repercussions just to race to fulfill some ass holes dream of being "forced" into something. Anything) These subs that think otherwise are fooling themselves and wasting the time of good dommes. This behavior is no different than the guy on match dot com who plays the same move on a lady in the vanilla world. "Oh hey i like your profile and see you posted for ltr but would it be cool if we just meet at a motel cuz im not really in a position right now for all that, but you were just so cute" Men are still men even if they claim to know what being a sub is and most men have been trained since birth to persuade women to just do whatever he wants. Even if he wants to be a sub he can then be a selfish sub. These subs are fakers who are "topping from the bottom". I will not abide such behavior.
The everyday sized dick Dicks I remember - A (soon to be) collection of the dicks that have made an impression over the years.Here is one about my most recent boyfriend. Now ex.When we first met he had troubles keeping it up with a condom on. I made him practice and only allowed him to wank with one on until it wasn’t a problem. It would later come in handy as I could easily pour his cum where I pleased.

 In his ass, on his face.His cock was average. I came to enjoy it. Especially for tease and denial and long sessions. Fuck for a bit. Have him pause. Sometimes with a ruined. Or to be honest, most times. And then back at it at my pleasure. He could never make me sore, hence a good size for the everyday, several times a day.He knew that I needed something bigger and hotter from time to time though. And that my previous partners were well better equipped. We once scouted together at a sex club but none was big enough to pique my interest. I felt generous so I allowed a man to use my boyfriend’s mouth and ass though (a side dick to remember).I did really enjoy his obedience. He always needed my permission to orgasm. He did good except from one time when I rode him on a chair. We were in a communal space and I sat on his lap, back towards him. The view of my ass, the excitement from possibly getting ”caught” and me not slowing down made him cum hard and without permission. I think he felt equally ashamed and satisfied. I let it slip. I really wanted to be filled.
my first entry since i created my account.   Its only a thinking about how much difficult to have a relationship with a person, normally its already difficult with vanilla, because you have the choice of saying your "truly desire" or just lie, like a lot of other kinkster. I did the first because i dont like to lie, trust is important, even if after this will be difficult. Then if youre lucky like me your vanilla romance can be transformed into a kinky romance. But ahaha, luck with me came only in half, she liked the kinky community but shes a dom and.. im a dom. Then having sub, slave and partner play came really fast to us, but the problem is...  I can releave my desire of spanking, doing general sadism, experiments this with her with complicity but.. Sexual desire, humiliation, degradation and dicipline/domination i can't! because both of us are dom! If the person beside you is a kinky person this can be helped but if that not the case, youre doomed! After 8 years of relationship, we will broke, not because we dont love each others but because of the path we need to take separatly. Being a kinkster if you didnt find a person to walk with you at this long life and with the same desire, same way of living, some time this will broke or you will broke. make the good choice, and assume it. only like this you will never regret it. 
I must be doing something wrong because ever since covid come along nobody wants to talk to anybody real time I mean I just bought a house in Mississippi moved from New Orleans a beautiful house by the way I'm very proud of and I was going to use it for a dream home of because I'm trans and I have other attributes I mean I'm a disabled veteran I wear diapers and fortunately for me my my Uncle Sam decides to keep me stocked and anyway I don't know what's wrong with people nobody has conversations anymore it's just these one line sentences no pictures it's just really is everybody running that scared I don't know maybe I'll see if this makes any hits I mean it's not very interesting but I'm just like since journals are back I'm just trying to see how it works out with me see if it actually shows up so anyway hope everybody is having a great holiday you know Halloween anyway look forward to hearing from anybody that wants to have a real time conversation I mean I don't even know what I mean anymore I haven't talked to another human being since covid except that the VA clinic and stuff but anyway with all that said ciao for now
For everyone asking, yes i am still in training and have been collared. i have been in chastity for over six months i am only allowed out to clean myself and the device under the watchful eye of my owner. i have purchased a shock collar and it is locked on me now waiting for punishment, it is worn whenever i am home and is charging when i am out of the house. The shock is very powerful when turned up it will make me obey every command given to me, i regret buying this as i have no way to resist. When i see her grab the remote i start to shake a little and waste no time completing the task given to me. 
Just your casual reminder that I am super hot, incredibly sensual, and highly addictive.  I am always eager for new toys in this forum.  The diversity of interests and minds and kinks and perversions never ceases to fascinate Me. The opportunity to nurture and guide and definitely control a willing soul is a treasure. If you are gender queer, broadly defined, and want to experience the gift of amusing Me, don't be shy.  Reach out.  I will take it from there and quickly have you addicted and wanting more.
Lately I've had some experience on line, helping women who want to explore bondage for their men, including cock teasing, edge and denial.  I'd be happy to chat to any woman who wants to explore this, as I believe I can provide some useful ideas, insights and suggestions for both the psychology of such scenes, and the techniques involved I'd love to hear some ladies' responses, all the best ACTSolo
I love a straight forward message which means I give whatever I love to receive.  If youre not in Chicago or planning on traveling to Chicago it's a great chance my interest level in you is going to be low.  While I do enjoy conversing from time to time I've noticed the different breed of humanity that touch this site.  There have been the indentity thieves preying on the community because they think they can suck information by aggressively love bombing.  There are those who refuse to commit to their local communities for whatever reason.  There are those who only want online and are relentless in pursuit of any nut they can get.     please respect my replies.   please respect my word at a non interest.   sont give a community with many dark stories another reason to be looked down upon.
She Keeps Her Circle Small   She keeps her circle small for a reason, even if it means  not letting those she loves get too close to her To her attachment is a liability and she no longer kneels  to that Master   She would do anything, give anything to those she called her friends, but if you should cross her, she will rip you out of her soul with no remorse    Heaven might have named her, but Hell taught her how to survive on her own   Unknown Author 
To be a good master in BDSM, consider the following key qualities: byanthonyp16562M Dom To be a good master in BDSM, consider the following key qualities: Respect and Trust: True dominance is built on respect and trust, earned through authenticity and understanding. Responsibility: A good master takes responsibility for their submissive's happiness and satisfaction, putting their needs before their own. Communication: Effective communication is essential; a good master listens to their submissive and guides them into a space where they feel their control and authority. Empathy: Understanding and empathizing with the submissive's needs is crucial for a health
First meet with the potential slave went well. I took her to a steak place to see how she would do in such an environment with me. She did well but that isn't really a big surprise considering her corporate career. We talked at length about what her enslavement would look like. I began to feel that old tingle I get when I speak to someone who actually *gets it*. Someone who understands that this lifestyle is more then looking pretty in a cage or on a cross. Someone that wants the structure and discipline I'm offering. Of course we have much to discuss and a collar offer will take time. But I know that I am speaking to an authentic slave and my time won't be wasted. 
Waitress the Musical is in theaters for a few days, in case you were not aware. I saw it twice. I have been listening to the soundtrack for quite some time so while I'm familiar with the music and the story, it was nice to put it all together. It gave it more meaning, and definitely endeared several songs and characters that I had quickly dismissed prior. I highly recommend it if you have time tomorrow. Last day.  There is this one character, Dawn. She works at the diner and is quite quirky and loveable. She has a song that is entertaining, and in my opinion, extremely heartbreaking. There are two lines that hit me: What if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it? What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it? What happens then?What if when he knows me, he's only disappointed? What if I give myself away only to get it given back? I couldn't live with that. I feel that so much. That feeling of not being sure, thinking I'm not enough. That I'm not worth the effort. It's something that resurfaces in rocky relationship times. And sometimes for no reason at all. To drown it out I need to be loved out loud. Consistently. To quote another song, this one sung by Dawn's also quirky beau: I love you like a table. Cover me in stuff and I will hold it up, strong and stable. I love you like a table.  I'm a lot of work. I know this. I also know that somebody out there won't mind. 
Remote Controlled - Part 1This is a fiction story based on a real event The year was almost over once again and Sally had no one to gift her bound and helpless form to. Another year had passed and every dominant man she had met was a no-hoper. Scrolling on her phone she looked mournfully at the parade of bound subs that filled social media. Tapping over to her dating profile she sighed. It took a lot of patience to filter through the inbox. Determined to keep trying she browsed the various messages she had received. It was the usual stuff - men with empty profiles saying 'hey'. Disappointed she pushed on through message after message until she saw one with a photo attached. Steeling her courage, Sally tapped the message desperately hoping it wasn't yet another unsolicited dick pic.To her surprise it wasn't. It was a picture of an app that she recognised. She used the app herself for one of her toys. As she took in the picture she realised that her username was displayed. 'Random Control' was a feature of her app controlled toys. A butt plug and vibrator she owned could be worn and then controlled by a random user of the app. Sure enough, this picture was coming from someone who she had chatted with as he controlled her toys! For a moment panic made her blood run cold. Was it creepy that he'd tracked her down on a dating site? What other profiles of hers did he know about? Semi-paralysed by this surprise it took her some time before she read the message to which the picture was attached. 'Control doesn't have to be random. All you have to do is ask.' Sally froze. This was out of the ordinary. How is someone meant to answer this? She gulped, but found herself unable to tap away from the message. She had to know more. Quickly she tapped through and read this man's profile. Thepicture wasn't amazing, but there was a very well written description of what this man was looking for. With every line Sally found herself drawn in further and faster. On the screen at least this man seemed like everything she was looking for. At least, right up until he used a single word - pantyhose. Sally's growing smile dropped. He was likely American. No Brit would use that word. Sure enough, on checking there it was - Bridgeport, Connecticut. Still, he deserved a reply. It was the most interesting message she'd received in weeks. 'I remember our chat. It was mindblowing. I'm sorry to say I'm not looking for an online relationship. - Sally' Dispondant, Sally closed the site and settled down for a lonely night. Streaming the latest reality show nonsense, her brain numbed and the familiar rut closed in. Moments later her phone buzzed. 'What is it about online that worries you? - Jonathan' 'Consequences, there can't be any when its all online. I can say I've done something but you have no way of knowing if thats the truth. Its just not as fun for me. - S' 'I understand. Are you up for another fun chat then?' Sally smiled. An online D/s relationship didn't get her motor running, but the thought of someone else teasing her with her toys really did. She quickly messaged back before hurrying to her toy chest. A touch of lube later and her plug and vibe were in. A few quick taps and she had the app open and connected to the man on the other end. His voice wasn't terribly deep. In fact he spoke very softly and gently. Almost careful with every word he chose to use. 'I really did love the message Jon.' 'It's Jonathan, not Jon.' He hadn't raised his voice at all to say this, instead he chose to set her toys to vibrate at their maximum settings. Sally breathed deeply as the toys caused her to let out a low moan. 'S..sorry Jonathan.' 'That's okay. Now you know.' The vibrations stopped as he lowered the control on his app. Then a second later, there was a barely perceptable rumble from her plug combined with a slow rhythmic buzz from her vibe. Sally gulped, he was good. 'You know Sally, there are other toys like this. Other ways a long distance dynamic can work.' But Sally bared heard, he was clearly skilled at controlling these types of vibrating toys. He was varying not just the intensity but the frequency and the patterns of her toys. 'Or maybe, even this type of play isn't something you enjoy as much as it sounds like?' The vibration stopped from both of Sally's toys. Snapping back to reality her hips were wriggling around, desperate for the good feelings from the toys. 'Please, don't stop now!' 'Well then Sally, answer me. Did you know that there are a lot of different long distance toys like this?' 'I'm sure there are. I don't think it would help though. Even in person, I can be bratty. I find ways to make it seem like I've done what was asked of me.' The vibrations began again, but this time at a very low level. Sally's hips writhed against the air, desperate to make the most of the sensations from the toys. She gripped her breats, teasing her nipples. 'What if I had a plan? A way of addressing some of your weaknesses? Would you be willing to at least hear me out?' 'I...I suppose...I could keep an...oh...oh.' Sally struggled for words as he played with her toy's controls masterfully. 'An open mind?' 'Oh god! Ye...ye...yes, and open mind.' 'I'm glad to hear it. Now, when you are close, do be a good little slut and ask me for permission to cum.' Sally's entire body began to quake as both the plug and the vibe filled her with sensations that felt amazing. Closing her eyes, she flipped to her front and ground her hips into her bed, trying to get more from the sensations of the vibe filling her. A few moments later, she was begging the male voice she knew as Jonathan for the permission to cum. He managed to play the controls so well that he kept her right on the edge of an orgasm for another two minutes. To Sally it felt like twenty, but before too long he said in a gentle voice: 'Cum for me Sally.'
I swear the disrespect is unreal around here. You put something veyr specific in your profile and yet people still wanna disrespect you about it. Yes I'm married and looking for a dynamic outside of my marriage, it's not that uncommon so GET OVER IT! I have my reasons for not liking certain things so no need to be disrespectful when asking about it. Can't get over the fact that I have a preference of NOT talking to women or CD's? Then don't bother messaging me you'll just get blocked. 
  Its been a year since I discovered nu-metal. It's spoken to me like no other type of music has...Like as if...I was missing something in my life. My thoughts Is interpreted through the amplifyed speakers. Then, the YouTube algorithm brought KORN in the mix and just went absolutely crunk nutty.   
If these words resonate, reach out.   I’m seeking a kindred spirit—relaxed, creative, and adventurous—someone drawn to trust, curiosity, and the possibility of a long-term D/s dynamic that grows from genuine connection.   I’m contemplative and sometimes quiet, always seeking balance in mind, body, and spirit. I find joy in laughter, art, books, good food, and music. Creativity moves through my days, whether I’m solving a problem, writing something small, or savoring stillness.   Nature centers me. I live on four acres in southern Arizona, nurturing a young permaculture forest through rainwater harvesting. I hope to meet someone who loves the land, appreciates regenerative living, and feels at ease in a semi-rural rhythm. I wander deserts and mountains, enjoy festivals and flea markets, and cherish quiet nights by the fire or beneath the stars.   I believe physical sensation can open deeper truths—where curiosity meets intention and transformation begins. In partnership, I care for emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being as one woven whole.   In D/s, submission is trust and intentional surrender and control is earned not taken. I’m drawn to someone self-aware, resilient, and grounded—someone who can lean into guidance while keeping a strong sense of self. Honest dialogue and mutual growth matter to me.   I envision a disciplined relationship where structure supports your evolution, where I take daily direction seriously and help you rise to your best self. This dynamic thrives with someone who craves clarity, consistency, and meaningful standards.

Day 5 of Silence  I cried most of today, when I wasn't crying I was angry. I went outside and stamped my feet and shouted till I was hoarse. How could Daddy do this? I have done everything he asked and more I have come to the realisation that yes I am probably abandoned but I will wait the full 7 days before I declare myself unowned. My little heart is broken. I wish I knew what I did wrong so I could make sure I didn't repeat the mistake. I gave myself completely over to him, 100%, he took what he wanted then walked away I think I am not a novice, I have decades of experience in the BDSM lifestyle in various different submissive roles. But I still don't know what I did to make him ghost me    
Yoinks ago I was exchanging DMs online with a local guy who was into chastity, but who asked me if I had a chastity device to lock him in. I've spent enough time on chastity forums to know not to buy some random one without doing measurements, so ... NO. It recently occurred to me that Oxballs makes fairly imposing cock-rings, so I did some research and found that they also make "full cover chastity" in silicone. So now I have a stand-by chastity device for early play. And it's hot pink! YAY!
Why don't skeletons fight each other?   They don't have the guts   For the last two months I've been packing and unpacking everything I own. I've had a new home built and have been setting it up. Today is the first day I have had the time to set down and clear my mind. I have been reading a member's journal all day until my battery has died. I'm going to steal one of her lines and put it in my journal. I would love to find that kind of relationship where she is like butter and I am like warm toast, we melt into one.  At night she backs into my arms and I hold her, tight to let her know I have her, when I roll over she instinctively snuggles up behind me like she has my back at night. This can only be achieved with totaly open and honest communication about what we both want and need from each other.  TRUST. 
ALWAYS MANOR: THE LEGACY The lawyer’s office smelled faintly of old leather and strong coffee. Tessa sat stiff-backed in a chair too soft for her liking, her paramedic’s jacket folded neatly over her lap. She had come straight from a night shift, still carrying the phantom weight of sirens and the metallic tang of blood in her nose. Sitting here, among mahogany shelves and polished brass, felt wrong. April should have been the one in this room, laughing that velvet laugh of hers, teasing Tessa for looking so out of place. But April wasn’t here. And that truth was a splinter lodged too deep to pull. The lawyer cleared his throat, a small man in a larger suit. “As per the wishes of the late Ms. April Laurent…” He began reading, his voice even and practiced, but every word was a pin dragged across raw skin. Bequests went first to charities April supported: a scholarship for young nurses, a donation to an animal rescue. April always gave more of herself than anyone knew. Then came the pause. The lawyer adjusted his glasses, eyes flicking to Tessa. “To my dearest friend, Tessa Holt…”             Her stomach tightened. “…I leave my estate, including the residence on Brookhaven Street, its contents, the club—The Haven—and…” another pause, as though uncertain how to phrase the next words, “…my submissive, Daniel. It is my wish that he remains under your care, guidance, and protection.” The words hung in the air like a struck bell.             Tessa blinked. “I’m sorry—what?”             The lawyer coughed into his hand. “It’s quite explicit in her will. She names you as custodian and—ah—successor.” A chair creaked across the table. Daniel lifted his head, eyes red-rimmed but steady. He had been silent through everything, hands folded, shoulders bowed. Now he whispered, with a reverence that sent a chill down Tessa’s spine: “Yes, Mistress.” The title wasn’t hers. Not yet. But the weight of it pressed down, heavy as any body she’d ever tried to save. Heat crawled up the back of her neck. “No,” she said, sharper than she intended. “That can’t be right. April wouldn’t—she wouldn’t leave me a person.” The lawyer raised his palms defensively. “I assure you, Ms. Holt, the will is legally sound. The… phrasing is unusual, but the intent is clear. Mr. Daniel Shaw is, in every practical sense, part of the estate and your responsibility.” Tessa’s gaze snapped to Daniel. He didn’t flinch. Didn’t deny it. He just watched her with quiet, steady eyes that seemed too calm, too accepting. “This isn’t…” She exhaled hard, fingers knotting the fabric of her jacket. “This isn’t how it works. I save lives. I don’t… own them.” Daniel lowered his gaze, voice low but firm. “You don’t own me, yet, Mistress. April entrusted me to you. There’s a difference.” The word landed again—Mistress. A mantle she had only worn once, with disastrous results. April had been the natural one, the woman others orbited. Tessa had only stood at her side, not in her place. Her throat tightened. “I’m not April.” “No,” Daniel agreed softly. “But she chose you.” The lawyer shuffled papers, clearly eager to move on, but the room felt smaller, denser. Tessa sat frozen, torn between disbelief and the creeping awareness that her best friend had just handed her a world she didn’t know if she could carry. “To clarify, Ms. Holt,” the lawyer said, “your late friend was very thorough. The property and assets are yours outright. As for Mr. Shaw—” his gaze flicked to Daniel, then back to Tessa, “—April did not mean ownership in the literal, legal sense. She established a trust. The house, and a portion of her funds, are designated for his upkeep. You have been named custodian of that trust.”
So slightly better news.  99.9 percent of the people who get this cancer are either heavy smokers, heavy drinkers, or drug users, and have depressed immune symptoms.  Since I am none of those things, my chances of making it out of this alive is closer to 80 percent than 50.  I'll take it.  I go in for surgery next week.  They are cutting out a piece of the back of my tongue, a piece of the back of my throat, and going into the side of my neck and removing all the lymph nodes.  Fortunately, the surgical techniques have advanced a lot and they no longer have to take out all the bones and muscle in my neck along with it.  So I will have a scar on my neck, but won't be grossly disfigured.  I won't be able to eat solid food or talk for a few weeks, and it's still going to be horribly painful, but better than dying.  And hopefully, if they get it all, I won't need to follow up with chemo and radiation and it won't come back.  But this cancer does like to come back.  I will worry about that when it happens.  For now, I'm going to focus on getting through this and keep living my life as best I can.  Thanks to everyone who took the time to write me about their own survival stories, or to offer support.
16 years I've been on this site, almost to the day.  Probably longer than that because I'm not sure this was my first profile.  And before that, I was on other similar sites all the way back to the beginning of the internet, and the old bulletin boards.  And before the internet, yes, I am that old, the bdsm magazines and underground classifieds.  I search, sometimes for years because I have very high standards and there are a lot of haystacks and very few needles in the bdsm world, until I find someone, then I go away.  Unfortunately none of those relationships have been forever, though they were each wonderful in their own way, and I guess I am blessed that each ended on good terms.  My last relationship ended 3 years ago.  I am here, on FL, a few other web sites, and on a bunch of the dating apps.  I have a lot to offer, both bdsm and vanilla.  No, I'm not a sugar daddy.  I'm happy to share.  Supporting a lazy deadbeat isn't in the cards.  If you don't have enough pride to contribute to your own lifestyle, you don't have enough pride to be with me.  I'm seeking a woman who is highly intelligent, who possesses and values integrity, is trustworthy and able to trust when her trust has been earned.  And of course, who desires a long term, real life, 24 7 relationship built around a core of bdsm.  Also should be at least a bit of a geek to insure we have vanilla interests in common. Everything else is negotiable.  You have my permission to contact me first if you think we might be compatible. Please be willing to video chat immediately for both of our safety.
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==  I had fun taking this test at the direction of Goddess Tabitha 100% Rope bunny  100% Primal (Prey)  98% Submissive  94% Masochist  92% Pet  91% Degradee  91% Slave  91% Exhibitionist  89% Experimentalist  58% Non-monogamist  54% Boy/Girl  43% Voyeur  37% Ageplayer  14% Vanilla  3% Brat  0% Switch   
I laugh at the thought of the SpecSaver mass appointments because guys can't f**King read. London/Essex/Kent only AND drive as it's real-time at fetish clubs ONLY. I call it the "opposite filter* whatever I seek a guy offers the opposite. When I only wanted one off.play all guys wanted long-term relationships.  Then I years later I want domething more and guys from different countries only want online  Result? I instant block them. Bye-bye  On a positive night I had a choll day at Club o&I in Kent Sunday whipping, canes on a derriere, giving free form shibari and poy. All to ONE person. Then another drove us home again. Fabulous.
A Central Florida-based Mistress seeks a local, submissive individual or slave. Please note that this is not a temporary arrangement, but rather a long-term commitment. I value honesty and transparency, and in return, I offer the same. Whether you are new to this lifestyle or experienced, I am happy to work with you. My goal is to help you reach your full potential and become the best version of yourself. If you are ready to surrender and allow me to guide you, let's discuss the details.
Please for the love of a Goddess' attention, do not send penis pics without asking 1st. All unsoliticed penis pics will be sent to gay men.  Please do not contact me with your bucklist of kinks. I don't care.  If you what you want doesn't match exactly what I wrote in my profile, I am not compromsing.  Once again, if you want free Pro Domme services, I'm not your girl. Keep scrolling.  Also I do block people. If you write to me and don't hear back because you have:  1. Sent me a 1 liner  (I receive several messages. Find a way to be interesting and beat the competition)  2. Ask me to perform a kink on you that has nothing to do with my profile  3. Asked me to be a sub or switch 4. Offered to lick my p%ssy  5. Waited for me to do all of the communication then you've probably been blocked.   
I figured I would do a quick about me.   This isn't planned and will likely be random and all over the place.First of all, vanilla - as this is the most important thing to me, If we don't connect here, than sexually doesn't matter.I'm an extravert. I find energy in groups and crowds usually(not allways) And I find people fasanating, so I would enjoy people watching sometimes even.However, I would be ok being with an introvert and limiting my actions with groups.  This isn't a must and being closed off and contained isn't an issue.  It's the relationship that matters and as long as that is strong, I will be happy.I tend to enjoy a little bit of everything.  Travelling, hiking, board games, movies and tv, reading. trying new things and activities.My tastes range from Downton Abbey, to Yellowstone, to Battlestar to NCIS(not as much anymore) to parks and rec.I love independant and foreign films/tv as well as classics just as much as anything above.I've become a board game and puzzle nut.  It's an interesting way to spend time, have fun and use strategy/think.I enjoy conversations and debating.I'm the sort of person willing to try everything at least once.Some weird/different stuff about me:I am very Ticklish.  To the point that if you wish to tickle I have a very strong ask that I be tied down. I have punched people before being unrestrained and flailing about. I do not enjoy it, but I enjoy the pleasure it brings my torturer I guess.I have a fear of heights.  I have learned to manage this, I usually have no issue in a plane, on a ladder or even a roof. And if I can hold onto something solid, I am fine.  But every now an again(top of a mountain looking over a cliff as one example) I do have that fear crop up.I'm a nudist at heart. I'm fine with nudity and I would be nude all the time if I could. Sometimes I am.I believe I'm undiagnosed ADHD.  In no way really bad, but I do have quirks.  When I have a list of tasks I can and tend to jump between them mid-task randomly.  I can and have been known to fidget usually, usually just my fingers.  And other really minor things. Nothing that I feel needs to be managed, it's more of a "wow it's crazy you work like that" sort of response from people when they know me, and like I said, not all the time, but enough it would be noticable long term.The kinky/sex stuff:I'm Pansexual.  I have been with both sexes before, maybe I will again. To me it's about the person, not their parts. I have no requirements there, I don't 'need' both sexes in my life and I can and am able to be monogomus.My Limits: No Scat, No felonies.(an aside here - a lot of people say nothing illegial. But public nudity is illegial, and I would do it leading to -), Nothing that involves others without their consent.  Wearing a collar in public is just apperal, being naked involves them.  Being naked where a kid can see is a felony, so context matters there.No permanent changes without my ok. As soon as I ok being tatooed or pierce once, I'm good forever.Nothing involving friends or family or work without my ok. This includes collars and such.No Degredation.  I was picked on as a kid.  It wasn't fun. If you want to treat me like crap - no thanks.  If you don't want to treat me like a prized pet, a love, a favorite possession, or something like that, I'm not for you.   This includes namecalling, and includes for punishment.Humiliation is different, I love humiliation.My main joys(in no ways all)Being controlled/a lack of control.  The more real this is, the more I tend to enjoy it.Tell me not to move or else is one thing, tell me not to move and bind me so I can't even if I tried and it's mentally a different level.  And no, I don't expect this 24/7 365 or even often, just explaining control is key.Pleasing/serving/bringing smiles.  Are you happy?  Are you satasfied? Are you smiling?  This can be from an act I did - cleaning your kitchen, bringing you to a great orgasm, or just submitting to something difficult for you.Humiliation.  This is an aspect of control.  Being naked around others is one example.  The way I look at it, if it makes me blush or shy it's humiliation.In no ways is that all but the main ones.However note, I'm focused on #2, and that is most important to me. If I cannot and am not pleasing, this wouldn't work for me(and I imagine you either). Some other sexual/relationship notes:I have the mindset that I learn what an owner wants, needs and desires and it's my job to fit inside that, that a possible owner shouldn't need to change for a sub/slave.  That I need to find somewhere that I can fit, and mold myself around their desires, fantasies and interests.  This includes things like chastity as well as other activities. Some like it, some don't, in the end I can give or take.I have my fantasies and things I'd like to try or do, and I will talk about them if asked or desired.  I have a desire to be an open book as best as I can be.Finally and most importantly - I'm looking for a relationship.  With that, I would be with a couple as long as if there is another sub, that I am equal to the sub.  I do not desire to be a side piece or a toy that is brought out on occasion.  Likewise, I'm not looking to be a servent or "domestic only".  In most cases that isn't a relationship that is a job.   I would be domestic only if it were a relationship, but it would depend on the situation.  I think 99% of domestic only searches fall outside that situation.I want someone to accept me for me.  If you cannot do that, I will move on.  Small changes I can and will make, Big ones I would only make if there is a really good reason(addiction) or something, of which I don't think I have anything currently.I'm not talking what I wear or my haircut or if I'm shaved or not.  I'm talking "you can't like this or that because I told you to" sort of stuff.  Also, I would like someone who listens to me and who allows me to speak my mind.It doesn't have to be always, or often, It can be at set times,  and you do not need to do whatever I speak about or say, but you do need to really listen and understand.  I do not want to be a robot.
Democracy, as we know it, is about to change for us and generations to come if this orange prick does what he says he's going to do.  And I believe everything he says even tho he's the biggest liar that ever lived.  It infuriates me to think how many people worship him and believe he's going to make their lives so much better.  They're about to find out just how bad their lives are going to get because they blindly  supported him.  Maybe we can save our country in 2 years but I'm not counting on it.  Hopefully there will be enough suffering til then so that there can be a shift in power.  I'm horrified about what's to come.  Everyone with half a brain should be. 
Gosh Darn it. Added a pic to my profile. Now I cant respond to emails. *stomps her feet in protest*
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==  94% high heel foot fetish  93% Switch  91% Masochist  81% Experimentalist  78% Spank me por favor  76% Submissive  73% Pet  68% Dominant  64% Primal (Prey)  64% Owner  63% Brat  63% Sadist  63% Degradee  59% Slave  52% Exhibitionist  46% Non-monogamist  45% Master/Mistress  42% Brat tamer  35% Primal (Hunter)  29% Degrader  27% Daddy/Mommy  24% Voyeur  11% Ageplayer  10% Vanilla  0% Boy/Girl   
Profile supplement: It sure can be diffiicult to sum up one's self succinctly! I don't wish to sound like a pushover. Yup, I'm a nice guy. Kind, thoughtful. Opens doors for women. This does not mean however, that I don't have rules, expectations, and urges to be pretty damn rough with someone within our own realm. It just means that it's all about consent. You need to respect me to the point that you want nothing more than to give me total control over you. That kind of power is delighful, romantic, intoxicating, and fun. And yes, it can be rough too. I picture myself as smart, talented, and deserving. Sometimes authoritative. I would not however define myself as 'alpha' and don't think that's a necessary attribute (or even a respectable one) to have in order to be a Dom, or a good leader in general. As the adage goes... there's a big difference between being 'a boss' and being a leader. 
End of 2021 !!! A lil note to say ... Thank you for all the funny, sweet, lewd, crude, caring , seductive and fucking outrageous .. emails, naughty pics and vid clips throughout this past year ..I've been truly entertained by some, moved by more than a few and heart strings tugged at a time or two ..     May we all find what we seek .. I discovered Collarme now Collarspace in my late 30's.. going into my mid 50's now and it's still an awesome site.. I've met some pretty amazing men and women ..online and lots offline too ! I've fallen in love, made mistakes and shed a tear or two for not taking a chance or not making an effort when I didn't feel the "timimg" .. Ya know we never have enough time, there's that one day tho !! It's called regret !    So... whatever you identify as and whom ever it is you choose to please and for whatever your reasons .. do it all the way and the only way you know how .. by being you!! Authentcally u! Don't cheat yourself out of being that needle one the haystack..   Happy Kinky New Year .. Hugs, bumps and grinds !   Ms. Eve    Ha
Hey there everyone! i hope you all are enjoying your holiday celebrations. We are watching the original Independence Day movie, with re added scenes. Watching the movie got me to thinking. The President said the aliens go from planet to planet absorbing all natural resources. Our in home discussion was.. What do you think would have happened when ID4 aliens invaded the planet of Sigourney Weaver's aliens? What about ID4 aliens invading the planet of Battleship's aliens? ID4 aliens invading the planet of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Predators? What if ID4 aliens invaded a planet overrun by TVs Walking Dead zombies? i would love to know your thoughts. Thank you for your input.
Orgasm control. Yesterday Master was working and so we weren't able to camera-call on Skype - just text. Anyway, I told Him He needed a slut to come round and service Him at work and He began describing what He would do to me, which naturally got me all hot an bothered. So I asked permission to play with myself a little while W/we talked.   He said that if that permission was granted I'd be expected to cum.  Now, I haven't cum for days and I've been enjoying being in the zone of denial, so I asked my Master whether I might turn down the offer because if I was going to cum I wanted Him to be watching me as I did so and to be hearing His voice as I reched the point of no return. It's interesting how quickly Master has worked His way right into the centre of my sex life like this!
I'm not satisfiedIt's all or nothingThere's no peace of mind for meAnd even though I tryMy greedy heart is hungryI'm not satisfied, you see? I'm not satisfiedI'm lost and emptyThere's no reason why, you see?And I could live a thousand livesAnd I know I won't be happyI'm not satisfied with me
I fantasize about being made to cum over and over, no breaks between. Breaking my brain with so many orgams...Begging for mercy, crying for it to stop, but being ignored. Finally passing out from orgasm overload. Waking up to it not having stopped even while unconscious.24 hours straight of orgasms. Only then released into chastity with toys that are too large locked in my holes, and keys put away for a month
Being told I don't know the role of a real sub because I don't suck dick is just fucking hilarious, only a fake dom would say crazy shit like this. There are PLENTY of nonsexual subs in the lifestyle and submission means different things to different people not just the sexual aspect. This is how I can spot a fake dom a mile away when he starts talking bs like this and clearly doesn't respect limits.  I also really love that "dom" men think I'm gullable, asking me if I'm willing to meet them somewhere in their first message and neither of us knows ZERO about each other. Yeah sorry but I'm not stupid enough to just hop in my car and meet someone I know absolutely nothing about much less what they look like. 
In October of last year, I had my first experience with chastity.  For that month, known as "Locktober", I had an experience I will never forget.  It was the first time that submission wasn't something about myself that I controlled. Because of that experience, I went out and bought the Cellmate chastity cage.  It's the kind of chastity cage that is controlled by an app, putting all the control in the keyholder's hands. Should my next experience with chastity suddenly appear, I will be ready ... and eager.
I'm just back from holiday... and it's been a few days. I woke up this morning feeling exceptionally horny and kinky. I'm at work until 5pm, and can't cum till then. Give me tasks or dares to complete before then to keep me horny and busting to cum. Anything posted by males I will consider... anything posted by females is non optional and must be completed before I can cum. Keep me horny and on the edge of exploding! Only 7 hours to go...
Hello Horny Ones!!!!   At this point, I will be here soon to answer emails stacking up.   Promise.   As to the general thread of life, I am still not on here to hook up, chat about sex, or similar.   I find myself more interested in connecting in other ways and on different levels.   As such, more interested a shit ton of other topics over sex, and doing a lot more in my life for me, than sex.   You will find me on Twitter more than here.   Later, Lola the Iron Mistress
  I wrote that word control to you yesterday and it must have gotten deep into me. I woke up this morning so fucking wet and hot! Like I was right in the middle of some Daddy's masturbation...I was on my back, legs spread, rubbing my clit and mound, thinking of Daddy being under me, his cock rubbing my lips, telling me words of his encouragement and his control, deeply feeling my sexuality himself, telling me to spank my hood, which I never do, but it felt so right this morning, so I spanked it rhythmically, then back to massaging my clit and mound, going a bit harder and deeper with each back and forth, feeling Daddy's cock getting harder, his growls and voice deepening as he and I tuned into the groove of our joined pleasure.  I started spanking myself harder now, legs further apart, imagining his cock now dripping with pre-cum, inching it's way between my labia, feeling the pressure of just the head inside me, filling me just enough so we could be connected in passion. My mind slowly turning off, becoming totally his, his toy, his Daddy's precious love, as my rubbing got more robust, my internal dialogue starting to seep out into my voice with a moan a muffled cry for Daddy, Daddy, Daddy...until I hear his knowing! His understanding! His feeling! of me being ready, reaching the point of no return, the edge of the cliff of the frenzy for becoming one with him, giving myself to him, him owning me in this incredible throbbing pulsing intimacy of letting go into more Daddy Daddy Daddy I'm going to cum...and just faintly hear yes baby girl, yes, cum for me...and then I'm over the edge, flailing a bit, squirming, moving, thrusting to get his cock into my lips so he can feel my quaking my rupture, my cunt dripping with a gush, spasming...as Daddy holds me tight, firmly, let's me fly away with pleasure, in his arms, cumming strongly, with abandonment...his, found, grounded, complete, held...
Dreams Everything is about our dreams When we dreamers stop dreaming The rest of you have no dreams left   Vi är för Altid by  Kent
Who am I? Well that is an interesting question. I am myself. I am who I am. I have learned you can not change who you to make others happy. You have to be yourself and you will be happy and so will others. IF they do not like you then they are not friends. I have been told that I can not be a Mistress because I am quiet and shy. Well guess again! I am very much a Mistress and very much shy and quiet. I just am that way when I first meet people. I have always been a quiet shy person at first but then my bossy side can come out. I have worked hard to reign that side in unless I am with my partner. I am a very loving and affectionate person. I love to just come up and kiss who ever I am with, hold hands, or even just wrap my arms around them. I do not mind if they do the same to me. So on that note, I am a very shy person when you first meet me. I will be until I'm comfortable with you. That may take an hour or may take weeks, but once I am comfortable you will see the my goofy quirky spazzy side. Though when pissed off you do not want to be in my way. And now for the kink sideI'm a Mistress looking for someone to add to her family. I'm sweet, loving caring Mistress that gets to know her subs/slaves so I know how to interact with them. I learn what they like and dislike and go from there. To me this lifestyle isn't just about playing around, its about building a relationship with the other person, about building trust. So I mix my 'vanilla' side with my 'kink' side. Because they are the same person just different aspaspects of me. How can you get to know someone if you do not know every side of them?

I am NOT a Pro Domme, but I use an app for texting called Telegram.  It is a free app. If you think it's a scam Look IT UP! Also, I'm not interested in games. If you are not sure if you're submissive, please don't bother contacting me. I am not intestered in "trying" to see.  I am also on Skype and fetlife.  Atomteacher for both. If you are local or willing to relocate feel free to send me a respectful message. I will NOT dominant you online, sext, role-play or watch you jerk off on Skype.  I will NOT send you pictures, videos or provide you material to masterbate to! There's plenty of porn online, use THAT not ME. I want a real person, a real D/s relationship! Please don't waste my time!    I require daily contact to properly vet you. If you are too busy to send me a text daily, then you are too busy for me. If you can watch YouTube on toilet for 20 minutes then I really think you give me that much time daily through the vetting process.      
I just found out that my first dominant passed away. I'm sad, bewildered, melancholy. I normally maintain friendships with exes but he chose not to. So I don't know what happened. He's the first friend, person from my generation to go. It feels so strange. He was the third person I messaged with when I joined CollarMe. He was a wonderful person and I have fond memories of him and our time together. I'm grateful he gave me those. Rest in peace, Stephen. Vide cor meum. Vide risio meum. 
Today I was reflecting on something that has long been present in my life. As a youth, long before I had any language for BDSM or for how my attraction actually works, I hated environments like discos where the boys flocked around the pretty girls like bees around honey. I wasn’t a great dancer and I’ve always seen myself as fairly average looking, so I assumed I just felt “uncompetitive”. But it wasn’t just discos. The same thing happened in school groups, social circles, anywhere the dynamic shifted into a subtle contest. If I was interested in a girl and other admirers appeared, something in me would simply switch off. The interest didn’t fade - it vanished. I’d step back, not in defeat, but in disconnection. With my recent understanding of myself as demisexual - and recognising the emotional architecture that comes with that - I’ve realised it was never about insecurity or feeling “not good enough”. It was about wiring. I don’t experience attraction in environments built on competition, performance, or scattered attention. My system is tuned for depth, for attunement, for the kind of connection that grows slowly and privately between two people who are actually present with each other. When the field becomes crowded or performative, the signal dilutes. The possibility of depth collapses. And my interest shuts down automatically. Some people thrive on the chase, the rivalry, the adrenaline of “winning” someone’s attention. I never have. For me, attraction only exists where there is intentionality, reciprocity, and a sense of genuine one‑to‑one resonance. If that’s not the energy, I don’t compete - I disconnect. Not from fear, but because competition is simply the wrong ecosystem for the kind of connection I’m built for. I am left pondering where sites like Collarspace and Fetlife are right for me? So much seems to hinge on performance. But if not them, then what? Where?
Laissez les bon temps rouler"       
I don't date Christians, they get all weirded out by my religion I am Socialist/Communist, I am as Liberal as it gets and I dislike Conservative politics with a passion!!! I am introverted but I still go to protests and take part in activism. I do a lot of things to make the world a better place and there is no excuse for anyone to not try when they live on this planet. Unless you live in a country other than the US LGBTQ+ is VERY much legal and I am part of LGBTQ+ Reading is great, must read at least 12 books (for pleasure) a year I don't do exercising, sports, etc the things I enjoy are various forms of gaming. I am a geek and a nerd and only date people who are as well I have 4 cats, I think of them as my children (and they are the only kind of kids I am planning on having), anyone who doesn't love cats isn't welcome in my life Edited to add - With the repel of Roe I am requiring men to have a vasectomy or be okay with having sex with condoms for the foreseeable future
School for the Bi-curious   For those boys who need just a little ‘push’   BC101 Introduction to Bisexuality Course Overview   Course involves 5 classroom experiences, each dedicated to providing students with the training necessary to reach new levels of self-awareness. Each class is conducted by a lead femdom instructor and an assist femdom instructor. Instructors will be fully clothed unless decided otherwise. Below is an outline of each session along with learning goals and student assignments. Before the start of class   Students accepted into the program will be assigned a partner - a BC Buddy - deemed to be a good match based on a variety of factors including age, station in life, education, and personality. Students will be designated as either ‘heads’ or ‘tails’ to facilitate ive decisions involving student interactions. Two weeks prior to the start of class students will meet with their assigned instructor one-on-one to go over the syllabus and discuss expectations. In addition, students will be fitted for a chastity device to enable a two-week adjustment period prior to the beginning of class. Finally, students admitted to the program will be required to take an HIV test prior to the start of class. Overview of Classes   For each class, students will be given very explicit instructions in order to relieve participants the burden of decision-making. Prior to the beginning of class students will agree that all instructions will be followed without question and that the only talking allowed will be when directed by the lead instructor. Instructors will rotate each session between lead and assistant instructor roles.   I. Class One/Two A. Section A – Curriculum and Student Responsibilities Section A begins with students kneeling facing the lead instructor. The lead instructor will go over the syllabus so that students will understand their responsibilities. Below is a possible EXAMPLE text the lead instructor might use: “Both of you are here because we all know this is where you belong. It’s time for each of you to take the next step and as your instructors we will make sure you both graduate this program. Now on to the curriculum. Today one of you will learn, through a guided approach, the oral technique outlined in your syllabus. Next week the roles will be reversed and the process repeated. Of course, a man is not fully bisexual until he has experienced having another man’s cock in his ass. Classes three and four will follow a similar format with each student experiencing anal penetration from another man. Our fifth and final session will be the graduation ceremony where students will be guided through a demonstration of your newly learned skills. The graduation ceremony culminates in what we refer to here as ‘popping the bubbly’. Each student will be required to swallow a load of their partner’s cum. There may be other instructor interns present at the graduation as deemed appropriate. Students will be graded on their enthusiasm and mid-term grades will be provided by the end of session 2. The student with the highest grade will be rewarded by being allowed to decided who will be the bottom for session number 3. Disciplinary recommendations are spread throughout the curriculum. The assistant instructor for the day will be responsible for determining student disciplinary actions which will be carried out by the students themselves. This is a recommendation only. The institute believes students should hold each other accountable. In addition, such activity helps students further understand their own role better. Finally, most of our instructors enjoy watching and learning more about the disciplinary process. NOTE: Since students are graded on enthusiasm, disciplinary actions are expected to be as harsh as ordered by the instructors.  B. Section B – Disrobing and Genital Familiarity Section B begins with students standing face-to-face in front of the seated lead instructor. The instructor will toss a coin to determine which student will have their clothing removed by their partner first. Upon selection instructor will guide each student in removing the clothing of their BC Buddy making sure that the individual who’s clothing is being removed does not assist.  Once complete, fully disrobed students will be required to kneel side-by-side facing the lead Instructor and begin masturbating slowly as directed in order to begin the arousal process. This will be referred to throughout the semester as the ‘ready’ position. Students will be required to maintain arousal throughout each session. Next students will be required to shave each other’s genitals as directed by their instructor. A coin will be tossed, and one student will prepare a bowl of warm water while the other retrieves several beach towels to be laid on the floor in front of the instructor. The instructor will then guide each student through the process which will include lathering up the entire region, massaging the cock throughout, and holding on to the cock so all areas can be shaved. Once complete students will be required to assume the ‘ready’ position. This activity serves a dual purpose. First, students will become familiar with the genital region of their BC Buddy through a slow, directed process. In addition, shaved genitals greatly enhance sensitivity further supporting advancement through the process. Upon completion the assistant instructor will examine the shaved genitalia. Any evidence of unshaved sections will require discipline. RECOMMENDATION: 5 cane strokes delivered while bent over a chair in the middle of the room. Assistant instructor will count off strokes while the student receiving the strokes will say thank you after each stroke. The lead instructor will instructor the student to deliver the strokes with increasing severity whereby the fifth and final stroke is very harsh. Students will be reminded constantly that they are being graded on their enthusiasm. B. Section B - Beginning Oral Techniques As students kneel before their instructor in the ready position, a coin will be tossed to determine which student will be the first to learn a basic oral technique designed by institute instructors and sanctioned as the fundamental oral method of the institute. Once designated the student will remain kneeling and the subject will stand facing the student.  The student will be required to take the subject cock into to his hand and hold it against his tummy while being guided by then instructor to lick the shaft up and down. This will continue until the instructor expands the service area to include the balls. Student will continue the slow and purposeful licking of the shaft and balls of the subject in a slow and deliberate manner being constantly encouraged by the lead instructor. The instructor will then direct the student to guide the head of the cock into the students mouth, very briefly, for the first time. Offering supporting comments like, “doesn’t it feel good to finally have a cock in your mouth?” or “don’t be shy. These activities are designed to take you where you want and need to go.”. Of course, the student is reminded that he will be graded on his enthusiasm and attitude. Instructor will hand the student a pacifier and instructing him to suck on the pacifier like he was a little baby. He will be told th
You know what? I bought granny panties. So granny they shouldn't even be called panties. They are underpants. You could fit me, my grandma, your grandma, and half of Canada in these things. And I have never been more comfortable in my life. You can bet my underpantsed ass I'll be rooting around in the drawer for all of the grannies before wearing a pair of wedgie makers. Don't get me wrong, I love the wedgie makers. They are pretty and sexy and they make me feel feminine. These days my dog is the only one who sees me naked, and all she cares about is stealing my socks. 
February 20, 2024 I've been speaking with Edgingfun23 for a while on FetLife. He came over for his first visit recently. He told me he was interested in getting a deep enema, and I explained that a deep enema takes time and it might not be necessary. So when he first arrived, as I do with all my guys, I met him in the driveway and we came inside. He was dressed straight from work. Usually guys that come for a visit wear jeans and a t-shirt, very relaxed looking. But edgingfun23 had clearly just come from a day of work. I sat back in my easy chair, looked straight into his eyes and simply said, "well… Strip!" I could tell that he was a bit nervous, but he started stripping his clothing off and putting them in the chair next to where he was standing. I just watched intently as he took off each article of business clothing. When he was naked, I just stared at him for a minute and he stood there wondering what would come next. I got up from my chair and went to the couch and grabbed a pair of wrist restraints. His hands were hanging down to his sides, and not recognizing these were wrist restraints, he did not extend his hands. So I grabbed a hand and pulled it out in front of him, putting the velcro restraint on his wrist. And then I put a restraint on the other wrist. Back to the couch I got a dog collar and put around his neck. I stood behind him and reached around playing with his nipples, groping his cock and balls, and tugging a bit on the dog collar. I told him to come to the bathroom where we were going to clean him out. I briefly explain the difference between a deep enema and a light enema. I told him we would start with a light enema but he would have to tell me when the water he was expelling into the toilet was clear. If it cleared up after a few cycles we would be done, if it didn't we might have to switch to a deeper enema. Apparently never having an enema before, he wasn't sure what to do. I told him to get down on all fours on the bathroom floor. When he was in the doggie position I smeared some Vaseline on my finger and slid it up and down the crack of his ass. I filled a small enema bulb with warm water, put some Vaseline on the tip of the tube, and using two of my fingers spread his ass cheeks so I could insert the tip of the enema bulb into his ass. As I squeezed all the water into his ass he didn't make a sound. I told him to stay in that position as I filled the bulb a second time, inserted it and added more water to his bowels. I smacked his ass and told him that I would leave the room to give him some privacy, and that he should take his time and expel the water. When he was done, he was to flush the toilet and as I heard him flush the toilet I would know it was time to come back in for the next round. I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me. It wasn't too long until I heard the toilet flush. I went back in and he was standing as I filled the enema bulb again. I told him to get back down on all fours. Two more bulbs of warm water filled his bowels before I left him to expel again. He learned quickly because the next time I came in the bathroom he was already on all fours. I think we went through four cycles of rinsing him out when I asked him how the water was. He said it was pretty clear. I think we went through one more cycle. I forgot to tell him on the last cycle to make sure he gets as much water out as possible. When we were done in the bathroom I told him we were going to head upstairs. He had previously told me he might need to work on his cock sucking skills so I thought the best place to do that would be upstairs. Although I knew he was extremely interested in the cow milking machine and the fuck bench, I needed my cock sucked first, so we were starting upstairs. We got upstairs and I briefly showed him all of the toys that I keep in the bedroom. Cock cages, ball weights, paddles and whips, and plenty of anal toys. I passed him a tight fitting cloth hood that has eye holes and a mouth hole. I told him to put it on. At first, as he pulled it over his head, I don't think he realized there were eye holes. I told him to pull it a bit forward that there were eye holes and we wanted to center the mouth hole so my cock had access to his mouth. After he made the adjustment to the hood I told him to climb on the bed on all fours. I wanted to check out his ass. I wanted to start playing with his hole immediately. Instinctively his ass rose into the air as his shoulders went down onto the bed. I think he has been in this position before. I grabbed some lube and squirted it on my finger as I rubbed it across his hole. I slipped my finger back and forth over his ass and then pushed a finger inside. Oh my god, it went in easily. I knew his ass was going to get a lot of play today. This was going to be fun. READ THE REST OF THE STORY AT   WWW.SirKel.top
While a Forever dynamic would be a dream, reality imposes chaos through responsibilities and obligations...  adulting is so overrated!  Sigh...   It seems that an ongoing, monogamous fwb-mentor may be just right.  A way to break out of everyday authority and relish in a degree of submission for a few hours or a weekend, with One who enjoys guiding, protecting, nurturing and maybe a little rough stuff tossed around  lol Priority- learn more, train, practice, grow and of course praise, reward, make You proud! cuddles, pillow talk, along with some romance, dates, outings, staying in, movies, binge watching etc. give or take...     BEST WISHES TO ALL AND MAY YOUR DREAMS FOR THE NEW YEAR COME TRUE!!!!!
Janitor of lunacyIdentify my destinyRevive the living dreamForgive their begging scream I was told last night by a coworker that I remind them of Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind... That was the best compliment ever... Clementine was so misunderstood.
Collaring It's come to my attention that a lot of Dom's don't have any formal collaring ceremony and tend to awkwardly wing it. There's nothing wrong with that, we all started somewhere. I'm writing this for those Dom's who need a "Step 1" since you can't exactly go to chatgpt and ask for this. This comes after vetting, after ensuring compatibility and establishing limits. Couple things to know about my dynamic before we go further. First, every girl has their "enterance name". Something simple like little one or pretty girl, generic. Then this is when they get both their collar and their slave name. In this case the girl is going from "pretty girl" to "princess". I begin: The room is dim, but there are a few candles lit, casting a glow. The applicant (as I call the new girls) kneels next to Puppy, jewel of my harem, which is a mix between a den mother and a mother superior. I slowly settle into my chair across the room from those two and look directly at the new girl who instinctively lowers her eyes, but lets out the slightest hint of a smile. "Lower your forehead to the floor, and begin crawling towards me," I tell her before she slowly obeys. I begin to recite as she crawls towards me and away from puppy: "For as long as man has walked beside animals he has used collars for a simple reason: To mark his possessions. To control them via means of a leash or just holding the collar. To show that they belong to someone. A collar tells others that this one is not stray, or unclaimed. A collar says something. Pride. Identity. Belonging. But above all that? It shows you are owned." I then reach down, and wrap the collar around her throat. she still hasn't looked up, her forehead still pressed to the floor. I gently lift her chin and smile, and look into her eyes. "Hello, pretty girl. My name is Master, and yours is Princess" Usually there's a soft "hi" and a smile. What you do after this is completely up to you, but I usually turn my personality all the way back on and say something akin to "OK get your ass over here" and wrap her up in a bear hug. Couple notes: I paced myself, matching my cadence to her speed and being careful to finish as she approached. If need be take a moment to tell her to slow down or speed up. Do so with swiftness and command. Something like "I'm sure your more eager to receive your collar than that. you can move a little faster." or "This isnt a race, you will slow down, breathe." I maintain a strict "sir" only name until this point. I am a random dom, therefore I am sir. Its only after she's collared that its official and she can call me Master, Daddy, or whatever was decided upon. The name she was gonna call me was established long ago. I've got a whole post called "Whats in a name?". Take this, modify it to your own needs, critique it, and enjoy.
Didn't get through a little challenge called LockTober...  it's a fun excuse for for people into chastity to go a month without an erection or jerking off...  if you're into the fetish it's like Jack Skeleton discovering Christmas Town for the first time... I lasted like 2 weeks.   But my friend is dope, and after communicating (she's also an ex) boundries, she turned around and was like, "Now about your pennence..."  And I basically agreed to be her slave for a month. She had me jacking off everyday, picking out girly clothes, but then made me stop all orgasms 😨, and start wearing the underwear and etc., November 1st... on top of locking me back into a chastity cage full-time.  I know it's a weird fetish...  but omg. She knows me well, she's trans, and she knows how to make me really like her form of domination.  Chastity just MAKES me so damned subby, and girly, and slutty, and over the moon kinky.  Words don't convey the feels... the lustful horny cravings are unbearably intense at first. But it calms down, and you get kinda gentled.. I woke up yesterday and feeling in my heart she was honestly becoming my domme again.  She's long distance and has her own primary relationship (I love being poly) so I'm starting to look for munches and make local friends in the lifestyle. Oh I wanted to explain the pictures I'm uploading... *edit I'll upload photos later when I can allow my profile to go into 'validating' mode for a few days.* My KH sent me another package, and it steps up the feminization a bit. We kinda renew our arrangement, for another week, every Friday. She's like, "Do you want to stay locked up for another week Kitten?" And at this point I'm just plainly honest, "Yes please, I'd like that very much."Then she'll somethng like, "Good boy."And I kinda just melt 🥰. Anyways, it helps this little anxious commitaphobe from getting nervous.  = )
i really cooked with this one. kitty gang kitty gang kitty gang ah.     being a mystic of the scriber variety i have learned when i am going through something of a personal nature that is just for me to figure out on my own and hold deep in my heart. but there are often things that i'm going through that the collective is going through. either as fellow femmes be it afab woman gay men with a feminine essence non gendered third gendered with a feminine vibe..all in between...or even a human experience...there are times where i'm going through something.i was going through something..something is coming for me to come through that is a MESSAGE. this is one i know that i'm not alone in..i see it on social media all the time. this is a collective thing for femmes. i hear it when i do leave the house....but this one is more raw for me because i haven't mastered it yet. and it's something i actively work on, prayer, meditation magic to the self, therapy, inner work, inner dialogue, dialoguing with coaches, working with my sisters..practicing carrying wood, chopping water..under the cold as ice water meditating.....running up the stairs rocky style trying to master.....i am better at this now..but the deep raw wound..the deep raw wild unbridled intense all consuming pull..it's still very real for me...and whenever i've been in a romantic relationship or trying to get one that never launches because dating a dark goddess with intuition and a deep psychic awareness of others emotions is a heavy task to sign up for...haha there is no hiding with someone like me and most men can't hang. and even those that want the challenge will often be met past their personal limits and ragequit out quietly or loudly.  this one is harder for me to share because i'm still in the belly of the beast with this. i haven't mastered this yet. i'm much better than i was in my 20s...and each time before i ejected myself from the sauce i got better and better..but there's still so much for me to master..and these feelings..they are so primal it's hard to wrangle or even admit is a thing. but this is definately a collective message i am individually still working on figuring out the solution too that i'm being called to be bold, brave, and as a mystic scriber connect myself to.   the vulnerability has to this point earned me zero dollars, so no bacon yet....but the bacon is in the spiritual emotional mental decorations i have as a solider of love. ai no message with a puffed chest not fake but due to everything i have and will go through that many will never recover from or begin to touch. a puff my chest for knowing the depths of what i have and will face. an earned prowess.   being vulnerable about what’s hard for you and acknowledging the discomfort as part of the mystic path. It’s that raw honesty, mixed with the courage to embrace being “a lot,” that resonates deeply. Mystics often have to sit with their shadows and discomfort, and turning that into glory is part of what makes the journey so transformative. Writing about this, even when it’s difficult, is where the real magic happens. You’re not just owning your strength but also showing others the deep, spiritual work behind it. It’s a brave, warrior-like approach to the mystic path, facing the discomfort head-on to find glory on the other side.   let me call in my sophia encoded soul sister doja cat here. when you play at this level people confuse the outward expression with being troubled and alone...we usually only get this way becauseeeeeeeee we have the outside support including therapy..we only GET to unearth this rawness because we AREN'T alone..don't confuse the heavy topics and unraveling with aimless direction.   "I read it, all the comments sayin', "D, I'm really shooketh" "D, you need to see a therapist, is you lookin'?" Yes, the one I got, they really are the best Now I feel like I can see you bitches is depressed I am not afraid to finally say shit with my chest   Look at me, look at me, I'm naked Vulnerability earned me a lot of bacon I put a thong all in my ass and taught you how to shake it I paid all my respect to those who taught me how to make it And now I reap the benefits with no confrontation Y'all fall into beef but that's another conversation I'm sorry, but we all find it really entertaining 'Cause we all wanna see them slip and fall right on their faces And we all wanna be the one to see the devastation Not be in it, but ain't the bad press good? The disrespect's real, how this Patek look? Pull out the checkbook, now why your neck crooked? I never learn to superstar from a textbook Talkin' 'bout, "She fallin' off, why she get booked?" Man, I been humble, I'm tired of all the deprecation Just let me flex, bruh, just let me pop shit "Why she think she Nicki M? She think she hot shit," hmm I never gave a F, go stir the pot, bitch I got y'all head all in the dirt just like a ostrich Of course, you bitches comparin' Doja to who the hottest" a love and light bitch would do naked to appeal to the male sexuality or the light sexuality. she would be posing provocatively to entice someone to want to fulfill their urges to touch themselves to engage and interact with the sexual energy. they would've touted a good girl sweet aesthetic, a girl next door or a playboy bunny vibe. we're old enough and human enough to know what sex is for a man of any gender that is attracted to a woman be it straight pansexual bisexual whatever. we know what the vibe is....when a man and woman think sex and naked we know.   doja is my tribe she is a wolf she is a devil as she said a demon a yokai like me.   we're bloody when we're naked. we stare at you deep in your soul. if you tussle with us we look you in your eye that's why so many black rapper lilith girls rap that we stare you in the eye when we're fucking because we ain't scared. those eyes maybe white in the back of our sockets but we're doing it because we face the uncomfortableness head on. her body stance isn't leaning to a side or trying to make curves...it isn't trying to be soft or feminine or wild or water....it's at attention it's direct it's commanding it's powerful. her chest isn't hiding her breads it is straight puffing it.   she's bloody because like me we face our uncomfortableness over and over and over again. this is a different type of naked..and if you tussle with a dark goddess of any variety and are blessed to either emotionally mentally spiritually or even hitting the jackpot of love and sexually be naked with her..this is what you get. kudos for the sacred sigil symbology here too sis. love her for that. we're magical girls with foresight.   and yet with all this power.....there's a deep struggle....in this level of nakedness...in how we engage with the complimentary but opposite energetics of men and how they operate and their worlds and how they are made....ad doja is helping me dive into that; if you listen to the song..how does she say look at me? it's not nice, it's not sweet....IT'S DESPERATE IT'S LIKE SOMEONE YELLING CLAWING BEGGING MAD AGGRESSIVE WAILING OVERWHELMING IT'S DIFFERENT LAYERS OF FEELING ALL IN ONE WILD CHAOTIC SECOND. LOOK. AT. M.E LEWKATME LEWK-AT-ME.....   LOOK AT ME   and for the men who aren't sacred away by that passion and want to try and will reach back and will touch and won't ghost, won't dip, won't demonize, won't therapize, won't logic but meet this wild nature creature..how does she respond?   qui
On fitness... Having a partner who's physically active and fit has always been important. I want someone who is full of energy and excitement and can keep up, lol.  In the past, I've never really been attracted to guys who spend all of their time at the gym. For one thing, there's just more to life but second, I'm generally not attracted to huge muscle, gorilla types.  I recently spent several months with a retired firefighter-turned-chemist. Since he's retired, he wasn't nearly as bulky as he was in old photos--thank goodness. But clearly he still took care of himself. In bed one night, in a playful, flirty moment, he reached his arm over and wrapped it around My waist and in seconds I found Myself on top of him. I was almost a foot away from him but at 6ft+ tall, he definitely had a decent wing span. As I said, it was a playful moment but My word...it was also really fucking sexy. Obviously, I had to stick around for a few months to see what else he could do. ;)  I don't know what exercises you need to do at the gym to be able to lift 135lbs with one arm, but do those, lol. Don't do them until you don't have a neck anymore, because that's overkill. We're going for actual strength not just what strength looks like. 
!IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION I'm looking for someone initially to come in as a cleaner / domestic drudge for a few hours either weekly or fortnightly and then go away again. I have no intention of putting anyone up overnight, nor am I initially looking for any more than stated above although whoever is chosen will be subjected to strict oversight by myself and be suitably punished should they not perform to the required standard. With that in mind, you MUST be based in South East UK, either in Kent or able to asily get to mid Kent from where you live, so SE London, Essex, Surrey or Kent itself. I would have amended my profile to reflect this but as that then means my profile disappears for up to a week I've been compelled to add it here. Goddess Abyssia
Most of you know it is hard to meet people on the internet. I can not understand why you chat back and forth for weeks and even talk on the phone and then the day we are going to meet everything is shut down. No email no phone. Look I can understand, Shall we say "Life Happens" but a little note or call would be nice. I have steaks thawed in the fridge and actually 2 no shows and not replys for this evening. I spent mass money to make ready for a nice evening. All for fake internet fakes
hii sorry to interupt if we have already been talking and perhaps "planning" on getting together i just felt this is a pretty important piece i must mention generally to anyonoe who visits my profile    first thank you if its ur first time on my profile :) heeehe  repeat offenders i well come anytime i love the attention id love to be ur piece of eye candy Heeehe which  i do got more pics but havent uploaded due to the delay that happens and i cant reallly offord a delay since im using this as my main source to escape ... thank you collarspace ;) please dont disappoint    okk so feminization the process which ive started and learned how much more i enjoy life as so. i began HRT and was shocked on the results and conviced this is exactly who im supposed to be :)  i was scared to fully flourish when i started since ii was still living at home.. mom; her druk dumb fukin BF; and my little borther. you could see why i was intimidated to allow HRT gracefully.... i was on and off of it,id say maybe 4months yes, then 4 months no. then 2 months yes. then 3 months no. then 1 month yes then mile stone; family fell apart.... hurts but they hurt me literally no reason.. i was caught in the crossfire of his drunk ass running outta beer money every week blamed me always went throught my stuff, talked shit about my panties would often throw away my CUTEST jean or the combination of cloths that blended my image so amazingly it would allow anyone; who saw me, immedatly know i was a sissy BUT NOT JUST ANY SISSY ;) --yeah would thow that out. iIt happed A LOT but like twice on my most cuties most amazing look that brought confidence and lust lol. okay so my "familly" offically fell apart about 45 to 65 days ago i think give or take ... it occured in about a two week hostile setting. which i wanted no part of because it originated between THEM!! yes i had nothing to do with it i even stayed away from home for days on end to let them deal with their own bullshit... however, out of the maybe 4-6 days that i did come back, cuz jesus i was tired of being out there! somehow the arguments were about me... saying i dont work i dont pay rent --- like umm excuse me ?? dont pay rent? ------------------------------{{{{oooo i love this song}}}--------  k sorry, where was i     --dont pay rent??? then hand me a bill..... nothing ... repeated bout 4 times and still no bill .. i HAD moneyi just wasnt gonna had it to them so he can turn around and just get more beer...  i did everything expect around the house AND MORE  spacifically to prevent any turmoil since yes i didnt pay rent BUT NOT cuz i couldnt lol ... no bill no rent stupid drunk [[[im sure i got completely off my main point but god i feel so good to vent i dont have anybody right now]]] yes totall off topic if your still reading dang i appreciate your intrest in me lol *blush blush      ok i remember what this topic was supposed to be about lol soo sorry went completey right field.. yes right field cuz im left handed >:P lol    i becan this journal entry cuz i wanted to inform those who have a chance in owning me at the moment their a 3 im considering witch one i just hope will be the right choice  fingers crossed   so this as ALL ABOUT FEMIZATION ohh and the whole artical up there does have a good purpose  When i began taking hormons, the fluxuation of on off onn off if you notice the ended with with 1 month on following a 3 month halt.... if you think about the proceess of my feminity you can picture about where im at in my appearance .... BUT WAIT IM NOT UGLY haha  im not ill thow a pic of me rn or send in a message cuz i dont wanna have to do that waiting period this website impliments uppon profile updates. sooooooo when i finally went back to see my doctor to FINALLY GET MY HORMONS again... stupid governer Desantez signed a bill that took into effect just the day BEFORE my appointment making it SUPER SUPER HARD not just for minors to get gender reassingment medication! my doctor straight up told me no! she will not give me my hormons because xyz...i was planning on getting a 4 month batch after explaining to her i was leaving florida to focus on myself and my tranisition... lol more like to focus on YOU and my transititon heehee ;)   theirs more to this but i chose not to disclose due to risk of prejudgmental dissisions, id say about 93% of you WILL MAKE regardless if you, think ur so mature or what not..   ((lol prejudgmental is that even a word? hahaha idk but sounded good there ;))   ** ooo i just notice my spell check wasnt doing its job... crap im sure when i reread this im gonna have to delete it dammit  enjoy the read and the insite of my current situtaion stay safe out there and masters/mistress/..potentual sissy owners.... [iSeeKu]  
I'm still in search of a Domme to share my life with. It's a long journey and I have not given up yet. I'm 46 now. I have gotten out of the feminization phase and moved onto improving my skills in life. I have a solid job and goid home. My profile picture might be a little old, but I have not changed. I still look the same. I wish you all the best in your searching. Feel free to reach out to me if I catch your eye. I'm always lurking and searching. It's easy to miss and potential oppertunity. 
I wish I understood the urge to write to a stranger and make obscure pronouncements. I am moving. I tried it. Even compliments like You have sexy feet or I love your hair. I wonder if they get an effective response rate from others. They certainly don't get anything from me but the delete button. I don't think I can be any more clear. Read the fucking profile. Emails with less than 3 sentences are deleted as soon as they are opened. Yes, even compliments. Even cryptic declarations. Especially cryptic declarations. Occasionally I am tempted to reply to a nice message with a thank you or ask a cryptic declarater (declarator? one who declares cryptically) WTF. But then I remember that EVERY SINGLE TIME I have made an exception, I have regretted it or felt it was a terrific waste of my time and effort or both.   I guess I will never know where random guy is moving or what other random guy tried. Maybe I'm better off not knowing. ~E
Maybe God puts someone in your life to figure yourself out, Having a slave for the household would be a dream, but it takes weeks for even each other to see each other. unless their pussies and play the get some mmm and get out game? but let me tell you. I am 36 years old and i was on here on Collarme, I remember the hours at nights where I chat with Doms, Sirs, subs, females males, and just fascinated. Yes my husband and i have hit a really hard time but maybe me taking the time to find a slave would be ideal and let him do his shit while we try to work on marraige, now a lot of you would say NO Go work on that, but see that was the trouble, I tried to do everything I can not anymore. I dont have time to take years to get to know somoeone who wants a Domme, who is kind loving and pushing toward wanting someone who is along those lines but also wants some humilation and and punishment when needed. Dream to live in the country with my household and look onto the mountains and grow old and have my slave or slaves male or female service my household. I can not tell the future, but someone will grow to love this chit Chatty Domme who Loves to be called Misses and Mistress when it suits her, the driffrence is in the words slaves. Also TPE is a must and be prepared to use your mouth. and your hands.  Mistress Nat
Not looking for a long term relationship right now. Although one can never tell how and when relationships develop over time. More interested in meeting Ladies of our ilk who would enjoy the backseat of a Harley while taking in the countryside. Plenty of beautiful roads here in New Jersey, and neighboring New York and Pennsylvania. Great time of the year now. You up for a ride?
For whatever reason, some people separate sex and BDSM. If they are operating professionally, I can understand they wouldn't want to be considered prostitutes. I for one am not interested in meeting them. Amateurs, don't have that problem. In fact, for many of us, the two are intimately intertwined. BDSM without the reward at some point can be pointless. Some aspect of BDSM IS our sex life or a big part of it.If you disagree - and some will and will try to put me down for it - you just be you and let me, be me. Thank you. 
Public Service Announcement For those who have a tendency to delete their own profiles multiple times in a few weeks just because they're getting contacts from people of a less desirable gender, age, role, or location there is the option to set Mail Controls so that messages from people of:   certain genders- either any, or who identify as certain kinky orientations outside of specified age ranges outside of your country of residence part of a couple's profile a situation where they have no profile available at the time of contact ... go into the Bulk folder, and thus you don't get a notification that they've contacted you. Depending on how hard-core you are about your filters, you can delete every message that appears in there unread.You can either follow the link I included above, or you can find the Mail Controls button at the top, right-hand corner after clicking on "Read Mail."Now, if you tend to dig into your Bulk Mail no matter what, um, good luck with that.
Getting permanently collared When its my turn to be collared permanently I have been wondering what kind of format that will take. Obviously it will be up to my master but I'm sure I want it to be special like a young bride dreaming of her wedding. The quiet collaring The collar goes on, and thats it, the bond is there between master and slave. The small symbolic ceremony (and my favourite) The collar gets locked into place and myself and my master go down to the beach and I throw the key into the sea. I think that is symbolic that the collar is going to be on permanently from now on. The gathering Some of masters friends ge together to watch the collaring and depending on whether master likes to share or not they all break in the newly owned slave. I wonder when the time comes which one will be for me.
Hello to all the wonderful Dominant Women here! i want to share that i am commited to finding a wonderful partner and owner and also commited to being the best slave possible for You! i am also a real person and a truly submissive gentleman here in the DFW area and welcome Your communication. Please know that my face is withheld from photos due to a somewhat public career. Also, even though the photos depic sissy or CD inclinations, i am flexible and do not feel the need to crossdress as i am a fairly normal guy in guy mode but sometimes enjoy some sexy panties :) i look forward to hearing from You!
Women, dogs, and toys.  Women deserve to be treated like dogs and toys. Ok hear me out on this one before you light your torches and get your pitchforks.    So, think about this: is your dog abused? Is the dog of any man you'd choose abused? No...? Ok what about his Xbox? PlayStation? Wii? Any abuse there? No? Ok next point (keep reading).   Does his dog have a comfortable life? Does he go out of his way to get decent food, toys, a comfortable place to sleep?    If his gaming system ever has issues, is he quick to tend to it? Always buying it accessories and new things to play on it?    And are his dog or gaming system expected to buy anything on their own, or does he provide it all for them?   Lastly, how much time does he give to both? How involved is he on a daily basis with them?    If more Doms viewed their slaves as beloved pets and toys instead of a kinky partner, we would have far fewer abused, neglected, and used subs. If Dom's treated them like his dog or Xbox, there would be so many more happy, satisfied, and secure subs.
== Results from bdsmtest.org ==  93% Switch  86% Boy/Girl  81% Submissive  80% Daddy/Mommy  73% Ageplayer  72% Brat  71% Vanilla  68% Rope bunny  67% Non-monogamist  66% Dominant  64% Primal (Prey)  62% Rigger  58% Experimentalist  55% Voyeur  54% Owner  50% Brat tamer  49% Pet  49% Primal (Hunter)  46% Sadist  40% Exhibitionist  29% Masochist  22% Master/Mistress  21% Degrader  14% Degradee  9% Slave   
The Gift Pt ending About a month later my Domme tells me that we've been invited to the Doms house in Austin. We were going to party on 6th Street first and get some playtime that evening.  Bet!   So the four of us are in their living room and talking. The two dominants were chatting and I chatted with the sub.  She asked me. Do you want to do a scene?  Yes I said.  Would you like to watch me being tortured? With a big smile on her face she said Yes!     We head out to their garage which cleared out and had plenty of room. They had bought a chain hoist and set it up for a whipping scene.  (Another custom torture chamber built for me? Yes please!)    I stripped down to my black string bikini bottom and started putting on my cuffs.  Meanwhile, the other couple was moving a couch around so it was placed in front of the area I was going to be whipped.  I was attached to a spreader bar and hoisted up into the air. The other couple sat in the couch to watch. I was a little concerned because I wasn't told to wear any of my safety gear. It didn't matter I was ready for anything.    My Domme attached chains to my ankles so that I was spread wide and facing the other couple. She stood behind me with her long black single tail and began to whip me.    That familiar sound we all know rang out in the empty space. Wu-tish! Wu tish!  Each lash left a bright red mark on my skin.  The strokes were deliberate and paced.  Between strokes I looked at the couch to see their reaction. The Dom was now laying flat on his back and his sub was on top of him and they were fucking each other while watching me being whipped.  She's riding him hard.    This blew my mind. Usually, during a whipping scene I'm trying to concentrate on my breathing and ignoring the pain in my wrists and body. Being whipped while hanging is another welcome distraction so to speak. I try to anticipate every lash by tensing my belly.  I want to last as long as I can.  So my brain doesn't know which thing to concentrate on which makes the scene last longer.   Watching an older Dom fuck his sub during my scene I suddenly thought, I hope he comes! Otherwise I'm going to be here a long time.    My Domme is aware of all this. She's not only watching me but also then.  If she stops,  he might not cum.  So she's pacing things out in sync with their fucking.     After awhile I hear him yell out, Aaahh!  He's cumming inside her.  She's grinding him out, milking every last drop.  The whipping stops and my suspended and whipped body hangs limply in the chains.     My Domme stands in front of me and says, Stay her we'll be right back. (As if I had anywhere to go).  Then the three of them go back inside the house. After a minute or two the sub comes back out and stands in front of me. She says, I'm supposed to get you down.  She hesitates. Can I stretch you a little bit first?  I nod my head yes. She starts pulling the chain and stretches me.    I wince but I don't complain.  She licks my stomach and rubs her hands all over my stretched body. I can feel her warm hands go over my whip marks and it feels good.  I moan in pleasure. She then lowers me down. It's all over.    The next morning we're all in the kitchen. Nobody is saying a word. It's like nothing happened. What goes on in Austin stays in Austin I think. We're still good friends to this day.    Next up: The Show     
I love to watch a Dom's face as he holds me, sometimes mean and sometimes sweet but always controlled. l love to watch his face as he holds me down, sometimes forceful and sometimes playful but always with determination.  I love to watch his expression as he prepares the room with determination that what he plans will turn out the way he wants and expects. i love thr Ds exchange that happens once we have bonded. It is a very beautiful feelin. Trust is built and you know that if you're in trouble and you reach out to your Dom, his words will be the right ones. They always were and are even today.
You can tell when your ready to actually meet someone for real. You start re-organising your place, stock up on more wine and reorganise your book case. Buy heaps of scented candles and start wearing matching underwear. Start making better life choices.
Now the summer is over I find I am in demand again spanking single women and couples. from the initial contact to planning a meet and the actual session is very important to me so there is no confusion about me and what I do.  However I find it increasingly annoying that after such preparation , they do not simply turn up , I am accomodating them a lot of the time, but they do not have the courtesy just to say they have changed their mind. As I am a strict , dominant disciplarian, not a BDSM master, they know with me it will revolve around spanking. I am a red blood straight male and I do have sexual needs, but I do not impose these on ladies an dcouples who just want a spanking based experience.  My frustration is that many call themselves submissive , but haven't any good manners or share mutual trust and respect.  I have been spanking for over 35 years, but haven't known it to be like this before. Sorry about my rant I have though had several wonderful encounters in the past couple of weeks and great feedback too from lasses and couples, all shapes and sizes. I do prefer to deal with those 40 and above  as they seem to know what they want from someone like me
I DID EDIT A COUPLE ENTRIES WHEN I REALIZED THEY WERE HARD TO READ, UNTIL I NOTICED IT CHANGED THE DATE... I don't know if I should just give up or redo my profile or what. I have lost contact with some I wished to talk to due to short term memory issues that pop up from time to time. Those that I have a great conversation with just seem to disappear. If I am screwing up-tell me. I do talk a lot when nervous. I also try to lay it all out there so things don't come up later and be a red flag, and that  can be overwhelming. I am very honest and open because I know what I need and want. Very few have been as open back, but I have appreciated it, Maybe I just need a break? I have grown weary of the search.
Never posted a journal here before. But wanted to update my profile without changing anything and getting botted out for like 4 months. Update. I am finally owned by 2 amazing Mistresses. However we are poly so if you'd like to play that can be arranged but you would have to discuss it with them first. If you messege me just tell me that you'd like to play and then I will direct you toward them either on here or somewhere else. Hope to chat with people more tho. Would still love to have some good hard nasty fun with people 
I’m real, single, and ready to meet. You should be too. Now, don’t get me wrong. Lots of people contact me about my profile and say job well done, I/we are like minded, BUT blah blah blah (I am taken, I am too old/young, I am too far, etc.). They respect the realities of the universe that have made us like minded, but not a match. I can respect that. I am certainly grateful for friends on this journey. This Journal entry is not addressing or discouraging friends. This is about those who express legitimate interest… So, I think my profile makes it clear… I am looking to date, I am looking to meet someone. I didn’t think I had to clarify after an in-depth profile such as the wone I wrote that I am not interested in you if you are married, living with someone, have a stead significant other, etc. Now, if you are “seeing” other people that is fine. Those other people should not be living in your house, sharing your bank account, doing your grocery shopping (unless it is for a date or something), paying for the renewal of the tags on your car, etc… “Seeing” someone means you are taking them to dinner, and possible having a good time after once in a while. “Seeing” someone means that person KNOWS you are “seeing” other people! If I call or text when you are with them, there is no need to hide your phone. I mean, I don’t expect you to respond or answer, you are spending time with someone else, that is fine, we aren’t an item, but I have enough self esteem I will not be the other woman, and I will not be hidden. If you will cheat on your wife, girlfriend, etc… You will eventually cheat on me too, and thus I am not interested in you. I am interested in loyalty, honesty, and devotion. How can one submit to someone who is offering anything less? Obviously, I don’t expect it day one. I will probably see other people for a time too. A bond must be built and that takes time. That being said… a bond isn’t built in messages on the web miles apart from someone I have never met in person. We might send messages a lot after meeting because you travel or something, but meeting in person is crucial to me. The internet is far too anonymous and there are far too many players out there. Heck, I had a guy wait until our third in person date once to finally admit he was married! It was because he couldn’t maintain the in person dating, he finally had to come clean though. He would have spoken with me for a year online had I let it continue that route… So, I am not a huge electron communication person. I also hate phones. I will even schedule my doctor’s appointments via the web if I can. Phones are used to call if I am lost getting where we planned to meet, or if I am running late and need to text to let you know. I don’t send kinky or risqué picture via the web or phone. I don’t use snapchat… where all communication disappears before your wife can see it. We send a few emails, seem to be hitting it off, then why should we share everything in more emails? What will we talk about when we get together? Continuing to chat online is going to leave me awkward and silent with nothing left to talk about in person. Left get some coffee, have dinner, see a movie. Let’s get out of the house! Yes, I know I say I raid (game) 5 nights a week… Only two of those nights are nights I feel I really can’t skip right now, and raid doesn’t start until 8:30 at night, and those are nights in the middle of the week… so if you really want to be drinking coffee that late at night, in the middle of the week, I will see what I can to lol. If one more guy tells me, well, I have a significant other, but the relationship is dead, has been for some time, but it is complicated… and in the same breath, tells me he wants to be my Dom, and manage my world… Get your house in order before you enter mine which is already in order. I am worn out on chatting with guys who seem amazing, lead me on, but are just using me as their side joy because they are unhappy in a relationship, they have no intention of leaving. Again, if you would hurt her by chatting with me… what are you going to do to me one day? Are there any good ones left at my age? Should I just give up the search? Guys… fish or cut bait. Show me you aren’t married lol. Show me you aren’t running around on your girlfriends. Show me it is worth the time and effort to continue investing myself in some of these conversations that start to feel sketchy… Pick a coffee house and tell me when we are going!
Master does not chat with prospective slave property before inspection.   Exception: I will offer a picture of Master and the opportunity to ask limited questions to potential slave property that completely fill out My questionnaire. it may request the opportunity to complete the questionnaire any time after a firm date and time for inspection has been established.   Some slaves may find the questionnaire too invasive. In the process of taking a slave property into My domain I will sooner or later know everything about it. It is just a matter of timing: tell Me now or tell Me later. Send its email address when requesting questionnaire.  I prefer to use email for this exchange.   Reading all the material Master has here on offer will divulge much about what slave may expect as property.
Grey-Sexual submissive. Da hell, right?   Sounds strange.  i always thought i was.... broken. Not finding any enjoyment in sex.  But it would please the guy, and in turn, i felt happy, a little bit.  Although i ignored my own confliction. i know i'm already odd here, i don't sound like anyone else i've seen.  i know my heart though... So, i feel like i do belong, i guess? Still learning about myself.  Guess one never truly knows themselves.  Always a work in progress.
  I'll fix the typo at a later date!!!!!
  i feel like there’s something missing in my life and i don’t know if it’s a shot of tequila, a kitten, fish and chips, or ………….
Looking for live in pain, domestic and toilet pigs, 1 for each position and all 3 subject to pain. Females only, no males or other.     P.S i live with my brother due to the illness, but he is vanilla and has never had a interest in BDSM or anything related, but i have been in to this since 1993
Growing out of touchWith myself -This is me;trying to stay afloatand trying to stayon this boat and clingto a motivational quoteand a big fat jolly emote.Trying to put on my sugar coat andKeep this sicknote in mytote, as i deepthroatAnother dose of thisworld's useless antidote.But then this is mewhen You touch me;i sing notes in octave CAnd become a born again devoteto your lifeboat of keynotes,And i realize all along my scapegoatWas an incredible sinking u-boat.~ dirtydarling (8.27.23)
So many scammers out here. So many not willing to follow when they say they belong to me.  No people with age regression roles. I want an adult - mature and responsible. No very heavy people either. I used to be 310 pounds. Now am in 205-222 pound range. I need to be this weight or lower. I figure being with someone who is very overwieght isn't going to help that. Not about prejudges, about me and my health. Doctor says I could be more healthy if I lost another 20 to 30 pounds. I would be happy getting under 200 and staying there.  No single men. I have no use for single men. Sorry, but not sorry about this.   NO SINGLE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
You know how it's been on my mind lately, and for a while if I'm honest, about the spinning circle of the good but not right for me guy, yes? Yesterday an opportunity presented itself and I took a deep breath and set boundaries. Literally. I said we needed better boundaries because we're just friends, right? And he said, I don't know. Here's the courageous part... I said I didn't want to be a placeholder. !!! This is huge in my world, in my head, in my learning how to value myself. Standing ovation, I'm waiting.  I am guessing he didn't take it well. He said okay. And I haven't heard a peep since. Which is part of the problem. Was. Saying you want open communication and actually doing the open communicating are two very different things. As a friend I would have listened. As a friend I care and don't want to hurt him. As anything more, severed ties. Okay, more like severed ties that were reattached and cut again several times these past two years. Just like training wheels, leaning on the comfortable and convenient, being the comfortable and convenient. I'm in a much better place than I was two years ago. I don't know if you've heard, but I set boundaries. Tell your friends.  Back to me. Of course I feel bad. Worried I hurt him. Worried the timing is all wrong. And yet... not my circus, not my monkeys. You're familiar, yes? I have to remind myself of this all the time. If I ruled the world I would move from task to task, make it efficient or pretty or whatever it needed, and then hand it off to someone to continue running with my changes so I could fix the next thing. If there is a job where you are never responsible for finishing anything you start please let me know.  Oh. Right. I'm okay. I'm not beating myself up. It was long overdue. It's what I need and I'm proud of myself for following through. Sending him positive thoughts as I move forward without monkeys. 
2026 - What will you bring? It is a while since I developed a contact here into a rewarding encounter or relationship. But as you can see I am still here. Why, you may well ask? Why suffer the frustration? Well, simply because I know how good it can be.....when the connection is there. I have been extremely lucky a handful of times in my life, with special ladies - I cherish the memories of every one. A couple are no longer with us, a couple wanted more than I could give at the time and others just ran their course, parting as friends rather than partners. So I know!!! In late 2025, I encountered a soul that brought out the Dom in me, the best of me. If you like,  she awakened the beast within or the dark passenger I carry. It was not perfect. I misjudged an early element. She is hesitant to make any "move" or say anything - waiting for the Dom ( ie me ) to orchestrate everything. I prefer and am used to a more balanced partnership, but neither could deny the primal connection. During 2026 I tried to recover from my early faux pas and build a stronger bond. I knew and understood that she really wanted a full-time, 24/7/365 relationship, but hoped we could find a middle ground. While she stayed resistant to my charms and I harboured hopes, I could cope with the ambiguity - but that was lost in early December. I am not the jealous sort, but I don't share well - just the way I am. She has now visited and stayed with another single Dom at least twice, so backed off. I miss her. I miss our interaction. But I respect her choice. Submission is a gift that she holds in her hands until she trusts it to another. It is something I would treasure, but it is not something I could or would demand. I wish her will and hope that I may find another muse in 2026. Recently most interest in my profile has come from submissive men. I am not sure why, other than the number of men on this site? I don't judge, but it is not my thing. The interaction does not reach that beast within.  
i just miss him so much and all I want to do is make things right between us again. I know there's alwasy a reason behind everything he does, but I have thought of all that I think it could be this time. I've admitted my wrongs, sat with his words and mulled them over extensively, and examined my behavior over the last few weeks. I've given him space the last week aside from updating him on the necessary and important things he absolutely should know, and still, not a word in response. I'm at a loss as to how to resolve this without communication and for that, he has to be willing to respond, to talk. Many would say this is not right for him to do, and I only half agree. The fuck up was mine. Entirely. I just have no idea how to prove to him that I'm sorry and intend to work on improvements and growth. It also saddens me that he has not so much as seemed at all troubled by our lack of contact. Though, I don't know this for certain, but how do you go so long with no contact with your slave if you love them as much as you say you do, and want them just as much? I'm doubting a lot lately, and losing more and more hope as the days pass.  I won't give up, though. I am his, forever. Whether he considers me his anymore or not. I just wish he would tell me, either way. Even if he still needs more time, I just want to know I am still his if I am. And I want to know if I'm not, if I'm not.  I feel like I'm in limbo, a state of purgatory. Banished from even learning my fate. It's painful. It's agonizing. It feels cruel and confusing. And it doesn't feel particularly safe, though with him, as his, I feel perfectly safe. But in this space of frozen in time, hanging limp from fated thread, I am scared. Terrified that it may be over. I've broken so many times since we last spoke. And I'm still breaking. Every fracture piercing the deepest depths of me. The knowledge that I caused this for myself? Makes his last words to me sting all the more: Enjoy the misery you bring on yourself. 
almost 10 years since my last post here. geeze! i am happy, not wealthy but well. saw someone neat viewed my profile and was sending them a nice to see you message.... they had already blocked me... hmmm... i don't remember things as well as others so i don't know if i offended anyone since i have been on here all these years. i just hope everyone is alright and have their own little slice of humility. lost a lot of people i love in these past 10 years and just... hoping that i don't have to feel that much more lose. thank you.
this is a message for subs and slaves, but it applies to everybody, dominant too. Stop saying stupid shit like" you don't want it to be about sex. BDSM is completely about sex, everything about is about sex and sexuality.  If you don't admit that you're lying to yourself and everyone else .
Well I thought I'd make a few things clear on here I dont seek anyone who is sub I only seek dominant peole who seek somone to use and to serve them.  It's not in my nature to be dominant, I just love serving and making peole happy whether that be during sex or anything else that's what makes me happy and turns me on.   I am likeing he thought of being a full time slave/sub for someone and serving them the best I can even if that means relocating. I can be domestic and a slut in the bedroom if required. I know my place. I'm also very kinky into bdsm in many ways and get off on it.   suzy x x   
I smiled, as I pushed you on the bed, seeing as your body hit the pillow top and sink into its softness.I felt you, as you body contorted when I ran my tongue over the hood of your clit, like a pace horse.I was turned on, at the way you looked at me ging when I slid between your thighs.I melted when you ease into your role as you were given direction.I got excited, as I felt you explode after trying so hard to hold on to that feeling.I am proud, as you walk away naked legs shaking like a newborn calf.I feel relief when you put your head on my chest with a wicked smile on your lipsI can be at peace, knowing that the morning will come and you will still be mine.
I am going to step away from this site for a while, probably completely. I am just not feeling it;  Many contacting me are too sisssy or wish to be enslaved. Most are just too young. *I know, they are not too young, I am too old  sigh Thinking of the VW Buzz commercial:  Are You Having Any Fun? Not really. Be well,  the Pearl
Not sure why I even bother making a profile, when the majority of people here ask me what I'm looking for, among other details that are in my profile. If you don't read profiles, just tells me you are not serious. If you are a sub/slave then wouldn't you want to read the profile first so that you can make an informed decision on whether to contact the person or not? You claim that you are wanting to give your life to someone. Shouldn't you know as much about them as possible? Goodness.  And you can lose the attitude when I am NOT going to answer your questions that have already been answered.  Why answer?  You didn't read the profile, what makes me think you are going to read the response?   LOL
I am in need of a very long term slave to fully and loyally serve me in all aspects. For me this is not about toys or play scenes.  It is real life with real life expectations.  I am fully aware of my duties and responsibilities as a owner. I have owned several slaves in the past. Some were short term. Some no longer wished a life as a slave. And one decided that she would prefer serving a different master. None with the commitment to serve no matter what the future holds. That is the one I search for.
Hello all.  I don't come here often, but I do enjoy talking to new people.   I have a lot of experience being a Mistress.  I have lived in a 24/7 BDSM poly relationship for 17 years.  I appreciate the poly lifestyle for a lot of reasons.  I am looking for a pet to p!at with.  I would also like to find a slave to take to Kinkfest.  Also help packing and unpacking is welcome.    I love to do pressure points and flogging.  Puppy play is also fun.  I enjoy many different things and am always learning.
Nothing has really been right.  Though realistic to know that can't provide.  Hence would only really fit into relationships that are LTR resulting in ownership or some kind.  Its like men who get married that stay home as the so called house husbands.  Not really a person who likes to travel.  Female Led Relationships are even in the Manga that will cover or gravitate towards.  Around 2K thought things might work out with Miss Kriss. Though she lapsed into cocaine problem again causint schisms or issues. Really it was wanting to pierce or hang from hooks or things that don't really work with somebody having Anemia. Finding somebody whose interests are realistic is probably best.  Really the type of person who will gravitate towards whta the other person is into. Feet was something that noticed at an early age where would not be into Heels or Boots or Stockings in the least. Though as got older Shoes or Boots especially certain types could be interesting if somebody is into that.  So can't really enjoy anything unless the other person is.  Its like feed on that energy.  Not into anything related to food or feeces hehe.  Puking or Piercing among other things I probably listed in the profile. Really don't think things will work out for me or most in life.  Those who have wealth really are who should be owning people instead of finding somebody to provide.  As its a clear difference in class or standing.  Glad they least brought back journlas. Wish LittleReaper would give me another chance to speak to again.  Things were pretty complicated was having issues with medication reaction and phone ;).
I am looking for a FemDom that would like to live in a poly home. FemDom would be in charge of slaves and Sir would be in charge of the home and have final say.  Two fairly like minded Dom's with intent of a nice home with several quality slaves is a heady dynamic. If interested just let Me know. Nice home with a dungeon. 
Do you ever feel like you're the star of The Truman Show? I feel like that all the time. You're probably watching me type right now. It seems like everywhere I go people look at me. I can't be that beauitful. Okay, okay, maybe just a little. I have three instances that back up that statement that I'll tell you about some other time. But really. I don't think I stand out in any way. I don't look glamorous, I don't even wear makeup. It's the logical conclusion. I am the star of a secret reality show. I'm pretty sure the person I share my office with was a writer for my show who needed more control over the happenings and so they planted her for everyday interactions. I keep waiting for someone to slip, and maybe that's what all the looks are, like spotting a celebrity in the wild but not going over to them. Vain? You betcha. Is there secret merchandise? I'd like a tshirt. 
⛧ The Spiral Was Never His—It Was Mine ⛧ I was never taken. It wasn't required. I gave everything without a single thrust.   My silence was toyed with like it was rope, pulled it tighter until I moaned without sound. It was called control. But I called it study.   Because while my burn was being monitored, I was watching the stall.   And somewhere between the withheld rewards and the weaponized distance, I realized: My obedience was mistaken for blindness. But I saw everything.   I marked my skin with the phrases never said. I wore plugs to dinner parties, kept the ghost curled up inside me. Ownership was implied. My unraveling was seen as a result not of my own doing.   But no man who fears the full depth of a woman deserves to command her surrender.   I have danced naked at the edge of madness and begged for more. I have waited, soaked and starving, and still purred like prey. And now, I’m no longer kneeling. I’m watching.   If you find this and feel your cock twitch or your chest tighten—good. But ask yourself this:   Can you starve me properly? Can you devour me completely? Can you wield a submissive who already knows your tricks before you play them?   Because I don’t need another puppet master. I need a god who wants a feral offering.
ΠΟΤΕ ΔΕΝ ΘΑ ΑΠΑΝΤΗΣΩ ΣΕ ΜΗΝΥΜΑ ΓΡΑΜΜΕΝΟ ΣΕ GREEKLISH.KATEYΘΕΙΑΝ ΒLOCK
She dressed to entrap. Every detail considered. Every move calculated. Bathed in perfumed oils, pedicure and manicure complete. Glossy Bright Fire Engine Red. Soft cotton gloves ensure no snags on her high fashion thigh high stockings in shear black. The leather smell of her black corset with stocking garters filled her nose while she laced it tight and fastened the suspension. Panties or thong unnecessary tonight. Transparent black blouse buttons down the front. Red crinoline under an above the knee length pleated skirt. Two inch platform  black patent leather  six inch stiletto heels arched her calves and displayed the muscle tone in her legs. Her makeup and hair glowed Elegance.  
    February 12th, 2022   Pantyhose guy came over today. He has pretty much given himself the nickname, because he loves the feeling of being in pantyhose.  I'm not really into him wearing them during a visit and he respaspects that.   He's visited a few times before. But today was a little different. Today he decided to suck cock for the first time. He might have had a taste or two before, but today he got the full treatment.   Because he reads my stories, he knew when he walked in the house to strip naked. I don't even think I had to tell him. He just stripped off his clothes immediately. Although it did not come as a surprise, his tiny cock was trapped in a beautiful black cock cage.    He was very nervous, and he shared this information in text messages before his arrival.  So instead of giving him a chance to think it over, and maybe change his mind, we headed straight upstairs.   I had just gotten out of the shower, still a little damp, wearing nothing but jogging pants. When we got upstairs I stripped out of the jogging pants and laid on my back in bed. From text messages we had shared earlier in the day he knew that's what was going to happen. I was going to let him go at his pace, for his first time of sucking cock.   He was nervous and stood next to the bed naked for a few minutes, until eventually he asked what he should do. I scooted up in the bed a bit and told him to climb in from the bottom and start to suck my cock. Knowing he was nervous, I kept my cock soft, but as his mouth surrounded my cock it was wonderful.  Not just the fact that my cock was the first cock that was going to get hard in his mouth, but it felt warm and wet and wonderful.   Instead of laying flat on the on his stomach, like the boy in my previous story (the boy with his hands tied behind his back) pantyhose guy was on his knees leaning down toward my cock. This made the angle a little bit difficult but he was having no problems.  But even with the slightly difficult angle before long I could feel my cock starting to grow. I didn't want to force him into anything but I did lay my hands on the back of his head, feeling the rhythmic bouncing of his head on my cock.  Once or twice I grabbed a handful of hair and pushed him balls deep. I was surprised that he didn't gag.   As he continued to suck my cock, I reached down and started playing with one of his nipples. I started with a little pinch and then got a little more aggressive. Something about pinching his nipple put my cock on fire. I could feel my cock getting even harder than it was just a few moments ago. He didn't resist, he didn't complain, he just let me play with his nipple.   After he had sucked cock for a while, I told him we were going to change positions. Instead of both of us being parallel to the length of the bed, I laid at an diagonal and he positions himself perpendicular to the bed. This gave me access to his ass with my fingers, while still giving his mouth access to my cock.   He brought his own silicone lube and I poured some onto the fingers of my left hand. He leaned forward and started sucking my cock again, pushing his ass up into the air. As my fingers found their way to his hole, I was met with another nice surprise.  I felt a butt plug in place. I started to pull and tug on the butt plug and there was quite a bit of resistance. It started popping out of his ass but it did not release completely. I learned it was a multi-layered bubble butt plug with two big bubbles/balls. The first ball came out followed slowly by the second. It was either glass or clear acrylic, very large, and I knew it was leaving an empty space in his hole.   I sat it on the back of the bed, and soon my fingers found his gaping hole.  One finger slid in with absolutely no resistance, so quickly two fingers went into his ass. As he continued sucking on my cock I found his prostate and started massaging it.  He started to moan. Since my cock was in his mouth I could feel the vibrations of the moan penetrating my cock.   With my left hand on his ass and my fingers in his hole, my right hand rested on the back of his head or neck occasionally pushing him deep under my cock. Once or twice he came off my cock and said It felt so great he was afraid he was going to orgasm. So we would take a bit of a breather. I would pull my fingers out of his ass but he would continue to suck my cock.    We did this for quite a while, and at one point he said his jaw was starting to ache.  I knew why he had come for a visit. He wanted my cock in his hole and my seed deep in his ass.   From the discussions we had earlier while texting I didn't know how much time he had, but I knew I was ready to fuck him. So I told him it was time. He questioned if we were rushing, I'm not sure if he was enjoying the cock sucking and me playing with his ass or if he was thinking of backing out. I decided not to take the chance.  I told him it was time to get fucked.   I climbed off the bed as he pushed his ass higher into the air. I climbed on the bed behind him, my left foot flat on the bed with my bent knee. My right foot and leg hooked around his right leg to hold him up and to keep him from dropping away from me.   My cock found its target, and plunged in balls deep first try. The toy that had been in his ass was so large, he was so opened up, he didn't even g.  But he was definitely not loose, his ass was tight around my cock.  Oh my God it felt wonderful.  I twisted my right knee on top of his back, somehow keeping my right foot locked in place so he couldn't get away.  In this perpendicular position our bodies were almost forming a "T."   This gave me the absolute maximum depth in his ass that I could have. I varried my rhythm going from slow to fast. Sometimes pulling completely out and plunging back in. Sometimes just popping the head of my cock in and out. Sometimes working full length without pulling out completely. His head was down on the pillow where it should be, his ass in the air. At times I felt him rhythmically push back as if to force his ass to swallow more of my cock.   The sensation was incredible, plus from my view it was a hot sight to see. His ass up, his head down, occasionally I would lean forward and put my hand against the back of his head and push him into the pillow. I probably only lasted about 10 minutes, and during that time I thought of everything including work, my broken snowblower, and things on my to-do list... but it didn't help, it was all too exciting.   Then I made my fatal mistake. I flipped my right foot onto the back of his neck pushing him down into the pillow with much of my weight. Psychologically there is something about me being dominant and doing this to a submissive that pushes me over the edge. And that is exactly what it did. My bad, LOL.   Soon I told him that I was going to be flooding his ass with my cum.   I pumped another dozen or so times and then felt my cum pulsing out of my cock. Filling his ass with my orgasm. I was staying hard so I continued fucking him. I moved my leg back to the bed pinning him against me, sometimes brutally thrusting into him. Eventually I was exhausted and had to pull out.   We reinserted the glass toy into his hole so none of my seed would
I am looking forward to my local Essex munch on the 20th June, meanwhile time to get the garden tidy for a barbecue. A nice strong experienced service submissive to cut the lawn and take the grass to my green bin for collection would be useful. I miss Servants4u.co.uk for that, there were some authentic service sub regulars on there. When the site closed without notice due to funding issues there wasn't any way to contact the useful men to attend and be useful.    Meanwhile I am looking for a new pair of wedge flip flops and black leather winter boots - any links send to my fetlife profile as links here get eaten by the crawling software.   Long Term Woman Boss Relationship I find it bizarre that guys do not want long term Woman Boss Relationships and only seek short term play hook ups. Meanwhile I am a busy author so I will continue with my projaspects.
Exciting news. Goddess Tabitha and I have started sketching out my brand. I have asked for years to be marked as property and she agrees that, after almost ten years at her feet, it's time to mark me for life.Looking for ideas, nothing boring. Yes, I know it's not a tatoo but I understand that brands can be intricate and detailed, muchg more than the bdsm circle. I'm thinking a butterfly in chains or with it's wings pinned.All thoughts welcome
Who knew..............? .............. it seems that I am an empath!! I have reached the age of 67 without ever having that insight or conversation, despite being analysed to death as a professional manager and having a need/propensity to work at things until I understand them. I know my Myers-Briggs type, I am aware of my core strengths, I have had my values and capability for good judgement assessed a number of times, but never my emotional architecture. Maybe that is too touchy-feely and personally risky for "business to tackle, but once it is laid out, it makes so much sense and puts perspective on so much experience and so many conversations. It also explains how, on top of everything else, it is hard (at least for me) to find a good match in BDSM. This is the start, not the end.......but right now I am processing so much behind this: Your architecture: a grounded, high‑capacity empath "You are a deep-feeling, high-capacity empath." “You’re the kind of man who carries both fire and stillness — a mind that sees patterns in the dark, a heart that stays steady in the storm, and a presence that makes other people feel understood long before they find the words themselves.”   “You’re a steady, strategic empath who reads people with precision, holds complexity without losing your integrity, and brings clarity, warmth, and insight wherever you go.”   I long thought of Myers-Briggs, Strengthsfinder and the Hartman Value Profile as orthogonal axes to look at a person's Cognitive style, Strength and Values. Now I need to add Emotional architecture. It feels like the model is nearly complete. I wonder how different life might have been if I had had this acute self-awareness years ago?    
When it comes to first impressions and initial messages a few things are important to keep in mind: If you find yourself asking me when I'll be moving in with you.  Don't.If you find yourself explaing what my routine will be as your basement-dwelling chained up toy.  Don't.If you find yourself sharing all the things you've done with previous conquests. Don't. I try to be a positive person but some of you make it very hard.  I mean I like hard things, but not like this.
Covid is over and we had our first play party in two years!Our BDSM circle consists of six Master and slave couples and our family of Master James Mistress Tabitha and myself. It was more of a bondage orgy than anything else. The only rule was that no Master could fuck his own slave.As the men recovered us slaves were encouraged to lick each other into a blissful state.We thought that it was just going to be nothing but play. Master Steven came into the room with a gallon ziplock bag of peeled ginger roots. Us slaves were told to get into a circle, drop to our hands and knees and each slave was given a ginger root to insert into her slave sisters ass.If you have never had a peeled ginger root in your ass it is, well...... The truth is that you don't know if you should shit, piss or cum or do all three all at once. It is an overwhelming series of sensations. Should you decide to try this for the first time use the ginger as soon as you peel it. If you wish to make the pain almost unberable then peel the ginger root and put it in a baggie overnight first. The ginger root will "sweat" and the sensations will be greatly amplified.It was so very delightful to cuddle with my slave sisters once again. Family is the most precious of all the worlds gifts. Family need not be by blood but just created out of love, respect and appreciation for the others in your group. We are blessed!  slave janet
Well its week after the Montreal Fetish weekend and I can't help but to get depressed after being immersed in an environment which Is so conducive to acceptance. Having some impact play with VagaBound in the VIP dungeons was a breath of fresh air and him doing the photo shoots for me on the streets of Montreal And especially a City like Montreal that welcomes you so well being fetish and kink and being able to so freely excepted doing photo shoots around and on the streets of Montreal was inspiring. I cannot wait till next year MFW 2025 to create more content and hopefully I find the owner as the Rubber sub and Rubber Doll i am that can consume me and complete my existence. Its been a long journey. I am trying to concentrate on the next events that are ahead of me like Folsom Kink street fair SF September 29th 2024 and then DOMMETRIPS Cozumel Mexico October 5th to October 12th. As a early 57th birthday present. Then I also have to find a costume ball or event for Halloween for September. To go full latex Cat hood, catsuit too. Need to keep the constant rush happening for the adrenaline rush and excitement showing the rubber doll in me.  I am also have my attention on Claiming my tickets for MFW 2025 when they go on sale January and Fetish factory Florida Anniversary 5 day event 2025.
The only people I judge are judgmental people themselves. OK, and people who've asked me to judge them. But that totally muddies the nice, clean quote. ;) I have kicked around this scene of ours for long enough that I remember when YKINMKBIOK was plain survival. Before the web got into every home, if you knew a few people in your area, who were into kink, you clung to them. It didn't matter that I was into the mental side of things, into D/s, while one of them was into sploshing, another into male masochism and the third was into vinyl. That there were three others who were just as weird as me was AMAZING. The huge growth of the scene, that we worked hard for, has been a huge blessing. But it's also given us so many others, that we can find so easily, it's easy to slip into judging others because, well, we'll have plenty of friends left. Don't like the way they do rope? Let's label them as wrong or dangerous. Squick over diapers? Let's call them freaks and borderline pedophiles. Don't like the way they do heavy mental play? Clearly abusers! And look how much better it makes our insecure selves feel about ourselves that we've managed to tear down others! That's not me. I can't do it. I'm not into Daddy/little. I'm not into diapers. Fifty Shades isn't my BDSM ideal. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of O, or Gor, either. But I love that others are! I love that you freaks and perverts have  so much passion for the things you love. I think it's amazing, the really strong relationships you build around your interests. I am so deeply, deeply, happy that you can find peace in who you are. Your Kink Is Not My Kink But It's OK. It's more than OK. Not for me, but I love that it works for you and good luck to you!
Man sometimes I feel I am just too honest with people. because I feel I never get it myself from anyone. I'm exactly who I represent myself to be. I will do the things that we talk about. I have done them in length. I've done them with different people.  People are so used to being just typed words and not real world actions behind it.  I am so quick to give someone my access to me and it is not used or it's used months late I have no clue who you are by then. You show up and you're just not who you represented yourself to be.  I'm only looking for people who want real life interactions  Ownership.  If you have no understanding of the word and say yours to other people and not me.  
one of the primary tactics of an abuser is isolationism. If you have a problem with me having friends and family I do not not sleep with, then you clearly have an agenda. If you need to corner me of in a chat somewhere you have an agenda. If you lose your temper, call me names, or dangle payment or gifts in front of me good bye. you have to be vetted/ cleared first. We have to negotiate first. This is standard community procedure. Two men have seriously upset me today. One would think they would know better. 
Stand here.  Nice and still. Nice and straight. Just listen to my voice and do everything I tell you to do. Good girl.  Don’t move.  Don’t make a sound. Put your hands behind your back. Don’t resist the rope.  Just relax and let the rope do its work.   Be still while I put the collar on your neck. Head up.  Let me move your hair out of the way.  Good girl. Now the blindfold.  Don’t move. Be still. Now I attach the lead to the collar. As I pull on the lead you follow.  Walk slowly wherever I lead you.   Now I control you.  Listen to my voice. Do everything I tell you to do. Don’t resist my touch or direction in any way. Be totally obedient and compliant. Don’t think.  Just do everything I tell you to do. Good girl.
Difficult, But, Entertaining. Every once in a while, I have a cunt slave spend the day with their nipples dragging on the floor with every thing they do. it, the slave, is punished if it is found violating the contact order. Yes, it is difficult and, toward the end of the day, painful for the slave. Nevertheless, I find it entertaining, consequently worthwhile.    
The concept of being Owned refers to a person who has surrendered themselves as the personal property or chattel of their Owner - Master or Mistress.   A submissive has usually given up their rights and freedom for their Owner to exercise authority over them within a relationship that may extend to full time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.   The submissive has given up all limits except those which their Owner sets or has agreed for them.   From that point on obedience will always be expected first and foremost regardless of its personal feelings. 
A few times I was approached by female Dominants, that were able to get my fantasy machine started and inspired dreams of me being with them. This was a powerful dynamic, so influential that it made me go out and buy an Apple gift card worth $50. Since this is what hookers normally ask for a 'suck & fuck' half hour, I thought,  okay this works, but unfortunately it did not. The moment they had the code from me I was ghosted. Just a warning to all folks here!
Honestly if you been whoring around and doing "sessions" with other doms ..giving them all your first expereinces dont bother me. There is nothing left for me to bond with you over and I have no reason to take a sub who others have used and dont want to own.  As my uncle always told me..you can play with the slut all you want...but dont bring them home to mom. Well you are of no value to me after you been used by any loser who will play with you so dont even bother. I am looking for someone I can be proud to own not someone who didnt want to make a connection with the person training or using them. I am not here to play games and if you lie to me I end it. I dont judge you for what you do its your life just dont bother me because I am not interested in whores. Nothing I say or do will mean anything to you nor will anything that is a symbol to me have any meaning to you. If you went to a class or training camp to learn to be a sub then go to someone who wants that because I know of no one who does. I am a warrior my slave is part of me and they are special ..I make no apology for the way I feel.
It is one of Goddess' greatest joy to bring love and light and support to Gender NonConforming Persons, and I define this quite broadly.  There are many who have approached and received My Blessint, and left changed, happier, through conversation with, worship of, and surrender to Me. It does not matter to Me whether a potential devotee is in the closet, limited in the way in which they can lead their most authentic life, just beginning their journey, at a crossroads, struggling, or in any way doubtful of themselves and their place.  These are not barriers or limitations for Me but part of a worshippers unique personhood.   Similarly, it does not matter to Me what your body is or is not.  The paradox is that as a GNC person you are unique and therefore beautiful, and will be seen as such, but also that you may have an image in your soul of WHO you are that also will be seen, recognized, and validated. It does not matter of you are shy or quiet or frisky or bratty.  Goddess will  identify the traits in you that She desires to mold and draw those from you. Many have felt My Blessing.  Become enriched and devote yourself to Me. Goddess  
Thought I would update my profile with some new pics.  When my profile reappears you can see how handsome I am.   When I was being admitted to the hospital the nurse taking my vitals caught my attention.  Older gal quite self assured and funny.  Funny is very attractive to me.  I asked if she was married and she said no she had just divorced her husband and the decree had just come through that week.  I looked at her grinned that grin all guys have when we're propositioning a girl and asked her if she would marry me.  She looked me right in the eye and said.  "Nope I just got rid of one deadbeat husband, I don't need another."   I was just one upped Lol.  That comment just made my year.
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