Patches - VELCRO COMPATIBLE PATCHES

Think It. Type It. Patch It. Turn whatever is rattling around in your brain into a one-of-a-kind removable patch. Describe your idea, choose a temp...

🧘 Inner Peace Is Overrated Some people breathe deeply, clear their minds, and find their center. You release one dramatic sigh and let profanity ha...

💸 Exchange Rates Are Humbling Confidence says you’re a perfect 10. Currency conversion says we should manage expectations. I’m a 10 but in Pesos is...

🐍 Relax. You’re Not Being Oppressed. Nobody is coming for your truck, your grill, or your Facebook memes. No One’s Treading on You, Sweetie is made...

🤨 We’re Going to Need an Explanation Sometimes “what happened?” just isn’t strong enough. Hey, Quick Question: What in the Actual Fuck? is made for...

👀 Look a Little Closer At first glance, Vision • Creativity • Passion looks like a perfectly respectable motivational message. Read the highlighted...

🌾 Maybe Gluten Is the Problem Everyone assumes you can’t tolerate gluten, but has anyone bothered to ask how gluten feels about you? Maybe Gluten C...

🗣️ No Hablo Fucktardo Some conversations are not worth translating. The No Hablo Fucktardo patch is made for people with limited patience, excellen...

✨ Delusion With a Deadline Think it. Believe it. Say it out loud until the universe gets uncomfortable and gives in. Manifest That Shit is made for...

🍩 The Donut Has Spoken Six-pack abs take discipline, dedication, and saying no to donuts. So naturally, we chose donuts. Abs Are Great, but Have Yo...

🍑 Inspirational, Unfortunately If your butt hair can survive everything it’s been through, so can you. Your Butt Hair Survives Shitty Situations, Y...

🤠 A Friendly Greeting With Questionable Manners Part cowboy welcome, part wildly inappropriate entrance. Howdy Putos is made for rowdy friends, bil...

🧬 Evolution Really Dropped the Ball Two billion years of adaptation, survival, and natural selection led all the way to… this. Well, Aren’t You a W...

😏 Finally, Some Healthy Competition Life may be rough, unfair, and generally terrible at customer service—but apparently it has met its match. Life...

👀 Unqualified but Available No medical degree. No professional training. Absolutely no reason to be involved. I’m Not a Gynecologist, but I’ll Take...

✅ Finally, a List You’ll Actually Finish Forget groceries, errands, and pretending you’re going to clean the garage. To Do List: Your Mom keeps pri...

😏 Kindness With Conditions It sounds polite. It might even be polite. That really depends on what kind of day you’ve earned. Have the Day You Deser...

💦 Science Has Failed Us Again “Boob sweat” is accurate, but it lacks imagination. Why Is It Called Boob Sweat and Not Humidititties? is made for su...

🧠 Yesterday Already Took Enough Being mad about the past is understandable. Letting it ruin today is just giving yesterday overtime. Don’t Fuck Up ...

🇺🇸 Questionable Looks. Excessive Performance. Maybe the packaging is underwhelming, but the operation is expensive, complicated, and somehow involv...

💸 It’s Okay Funds, I’m Insufficient Too Your bank account is doing its best. Unfortunately, so are you. The It’s Okay Funds, I’m Insufficient Too p...

🏈 THROW FIRST. THINK LATER. Decision-making is a lot easier once the ball is already in the air. Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compatible, thi...

😤 RUN ANGRY Because “find the hole” sounds better when followed by “and punish whoever’s standing in it.” Sized at 3x2 and hook & loop compat...

🛡️ QUARTERBACK SECURITY Protecting the asset, clearing the pocket, and occasionally relocating a defensive lineman. Sized at 3x2 and hook & l...